I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate


Staff member

Remember that handy list of enemies I made yesterday?

I'm pleased to knock off another 10 from them!


Vengeance is swift!

The first of our two songs just missing the Top 50 is-


#51. Everything About You [6.594]

High Score: 10 x 1 (@SophiaSophia)
s c r e a m i n g
Low Score: 3 x 2 (@Up Down Suite, @wackseed)

My Score: 7

And we're back to the "almost but not quite" bops from Up All Night. Everything About You is another one of the tracks written with Steve Robsen and Wayne Hector. It's.... fine. At this point I find myself wishing for great moments in their discography, and this is not one of them. I would actually downgrade my score after playing this for the last half an hour. The chorus is absolute dreck and the synthesizers are overused. The pre-chorus shines, but that's not enough to save it. I'm really really glad they moved away from this type of pop on Take Me Home. It just doesn't suit them. Apparently there are people who really love this though. Who knew?

@SophiaSophia (10) says this is "Synth Pop Rock amazingness" but really that comment only needed the first three words.

We haven't heard from @Lost In Japan. (9) in awhile; too bad about their taste- "I strongly feel that this would be a 10/10 if they sung “from the way that you touch ba-bay / to the way that you kiss on MAY” like Britney and *NSYNC would."

Look who gets it all wrong. What a shock it's @DJHazey (8)- "This would only need a slight remix in order to be ready for the clubs -- well teen clubs anyway. The chorus could definitely come a bit harder, because it feels undercooked and that's a shame. This is definitely the template should be going for though, instead of the slower tracks I've been hearing." NO!

I would feel bad for her, but I can't with this praise from @iheartpoptarts (9.5)- "I like how they venture into dance-pop territory for a second, but they don’t lose the pop-rock sound they’re known for. The two work surprisingly well together!"

@KAG (8) sees the faults but is still using it- "The synths sound a bit dated and cheap, however I still like this song. It's very playful and bombastic."

@constantino (8) sums up the One Direction fan experience- "Repetitive, but really catchy and fun…I’m conflicted."

@Sprockrooster (7) got me excited to drag RedOne again, but I fact checked him first- " RedOne is a genius. But this is not even close to his prime work." It's okay, I did the same thing earlier.

@A$AP Robbie (7) shows questionable opinions- "This is more like it in the 1D-co-writing-stakes. Surprisingly upbeat for Wayne Hector being the co-writer "

Before I move on to the less enthusiastic, the following people also overscored this @GhettoPrincess (9), @Remorque (8), @MollieSwift21 (9.4), @Reboot (8.5), and @Xanthippe (8.5). I did not see that last one coming.

@With The Bands (6.5) has taken off the rose coloured glasses- "I LOVED this when the album first came out – but it has not aged well."

@sexercise (6.5) gets it right- "Something about it doesn’t fully hit. A semi-bop if you will."

Poor @eccentricsimply (5) was reminded this is a song- "A forgettable track. I forgot it existed and I was very surprised it started playing. (Zayn's part, though.)"

@VivaForever (3.5) is trying to get sympathy, but she's still on my enemies list from yesterday so let's laugh at her pain- "This isn’t as bad as some of what I’ve sat through (I Want + most of Midnight Memories), but God knows it ain’t good. I hope you appreciate what I’m putting myself through for you."

I like when @wackseed (3) gets snarky- "The boys are here with their SYNTHESIZER and they're gonna HELP YOU OUT. That's nice of them, even if this song is yawn."

Last word to @First2Run (4) who also pinpoints exactly where the song goes wrong- "As soon as it hits the chorus, this song just kind of becomes noise. Slightly irritating noise. Like a fly you can’t see that randomly flies past your ear at horrible intervals."

If you would like to swat some flies, here's a live performance!

Stay tuned: one more song is not safe tonight.
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I can't when I've seen you defend 6s with your life but shade me to hell for a 7. I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_.


Staff member
Here we are.

The last dance before the Top 50.

Who's heading home?

I mean did you really think he was staying?

Bye bye!​


#51. 18 [6.594]

High Score:
10 x 1 (@tylerc904)
Low Score: 3 x 3 (@A$AP Robbie, @SophiaSophia, @Subwaykid)

My Score: 4

The final Ed Sheeran track leaves just before the Top 50 and all is right with the world. The fourth track from Four (hehe), 18 is a bit of a momentum killer in between three amazing opening tracks and the genius that's to follow. It's better than the other crap he gave the boys by a mile, but it's still trite and predictable. It also continues to stand out like a sore thumb in that it screams ED SHEERAN instead of One Direction. Most of them sound really great on here, but that's not enough for me at this point. I do have to give a shout out to 18 for getting Niall to sing "chonce," spawning a fandom meme and this amazing interview:

Let's move on to the voices of the people. @tylerc904 (10) doesn't know why he's getting his life to this, he just does- "The only Ed-penned track I've ever loved. Don't know what it is about this but I just dig it."

@eccentricsimply (9) sets a low standard- "By far the best song Sheeran's written for 1D. It's kind of catchy after you listen to it a couple of times, the lyrics are nice, the production is good and so is the arrangement."

@Rasterax (8) has a lot of qualifications to their love- "Despite being a) a 1D ballad and b) Sheeran, this one is actually pretty good! You gotta wonder how meaningful "I have loved you since we were 18" is when sung by 20 year olds, but it still works."

@constantino (7) brings out the fine print- "A bit too on the Ed-Sheeran side of folky pop-rock, but I’ll give ‘em credit where it’s due, their vocals sound pretty darn good on this track. (Not Louis tho obvs lol fuck that guy...)"

@First2Run's (7.5) strange scoring curve strikes again! "This song definitely lasts too long."

Oh I forgot about how @Furball (9) loves Moments. I wish I had- "Very Ed Sheeran, but I can forgive his violations against music because of this and Moments."

I actually triple checked this score, because does this sound like the comment of a 9.5 scorer @Posh Spears?- "Harry sounds fantastic in the first chorus, but sadly, that’s the highlight of the song for me."

@DJHazey (7) continues to be strangely invested in the One Direction fandom's feelings- "And it’s Sheeran again. Well this time it’s not a complete travesty. The story behind it is kind of endearing: That girl you’ve loved for a long time and maybe they didn’t know you existed for most of it, but it seems that destiny has finally been realized. I can just imagine their fans hearing this for the first getting butterflies." Okay then.

Oh look. It's not a 10 but I'll take this from my enemy @Petty Mayonnaise (9). Heh. Other high scorers include @Sprockrooster (8), @Macsun (8), @sexercise (8), @Reboot (8.5), @Fever (8.5), and @Xanthippe (8).

Moving on to the less enamored, we have @VivaForever (6) who picks up on chonce straightaway- "That posh pronunciation on ‘we took a chance.’ A Sophie Ellis-Bextor Earl Grey. The verses aren’t up to much but I like the chorus, sounds very Melanie C. Half-point deducted for Louis’s dreadful ‘vocals.’"

@wackseed (6.5) is trying to appeal to my Haylor heart but let's not today- "“I have loved you since we were eighteen” – so like, for ten minutes, then? I could muse about how Harry singing the chorus is the best part of this song, and also about how he was eighteen when he dated a certain famous singer...but I'll restrain myself."

@iheartpoptarts (5.5) is just relieved this didn't completely destroy her soul- "A “blame Ed Sheeran” moment, but he’s done a lot worse!"

@SophiaSophia's (3) hatred for Louis rivals my own- "Just dull and who let Louis sing again he might as well just talk his parts there's not much to his voice anyway."

@A$AP Robbie (3) sums it up beautifully- "What we've all learned is that thank god Ed Sheeran wasn't in a boyband."

There we have it. The Top 50 (well 49)! A clear pattern has emerged with Take Me Home and Four remaining relatively unscathed compared to their poor sistren Up All Night, Midnight Memories, and Made in the A.M. Stay tuned for a nice graphic recapping what's left!
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Staff member
Way too much left from the Take Me Home album. I thought Hey Angel was one of the worst songs here. Surprised it made its way to the last few from AM.


Staff member
Way too much left from the Take Me Home album. I thought Hey Angel was one of the worst songs here. Surprised it made its way to the last few from AM.

Take Me Home is the album with the most classic One Direction songs, of course it was going to survive hugely. Four is my favourite album, but I gave Take Me Home more 10s.

Hey Angel... is okay.

Deleted member 21339

That graphic for Take Me Home shows how flawless the album is when you vacate the multiple shitty songs throughout. I didn't wanna jinx anything by stating how it hadn't lost any tracks in literally 20+ eliminations but now that we're out of the 50s I feel like a little celebration is in order!

Watch the next 6 eliminations be from Take Me Home.

Deleted member 21339

Imagine the backlash if their last release as a group without Zayn was an EP. It literally would have been Made in one AM.