I Think I'm Gonna Win This Time: The One Direction Discography Rate

Be careful with your insults at this stage.... chances are you're insulting multiple people's 11s. *cough*

 

After the joyous day I had yesterday, I knew this one would be shit.

















This song is my anthem!!!
















I'm taking any criticism as a personal attack.















Look, I never said I was a rational person, did I?

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#30. She's Not Afraid [7.275]

High Score: 10 x 4 (@Animalia, @eccentricsimply, @ohnostalgia, @wackseed)
Low Score: 3 x 1 (@Up Down Suite)


I think running this rate has been one of the most confusing experiences of my life. Let me put this into context for you. I spent all of high school convinced the only reason I stared at girls was for comparison sake (turns out that was gayness). A chemistry teacher gave me a compass in Grade 12 because he was worried I would get lost. I took six years at university because I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do with my life. I regularly forget where the walls are in my apartment and have the bruises to prove it. Sometimes I put the water pitcher in the freezer, because kitchens are tricky. I'm a portrait of the semi-confused life. Did you all really need to pile more of it on?


Today's rant is brought to you by the boptastic She's Not Afraid, which couldn't even crack the Top 25 in our illustrious rate. I'm genuinely appalled and saddened to learn YOU ALL HATE ME. From the very first time I heard She's Not Afraid, I connected with this girl. There's a couple of ways you could read this song and I relate to both of them. The lighter interpretation is of course that this girl is just not that into him and is out here wanting a good time. LOVE IT! You're young! Live your life! String those boys along! Test them!!!! #MISANDRY!!!!!!!!!!!! The other interpretation is She's Not Afraid is about a girl with deep trust issues. Oh hey, guess who also has deep trust issues? I'll give you a hint: they may or may not also have a compass. There's a whole lot more I could say, but you didn't come to read @ohnostalgia's journal entries, so let's move on to the music. This is a great example of how to craft a pop song that works for all the boys! We get some great performances out of the regulars and the two stragglers sound good for their standards. The chorus, oh the chorus. It goes OFF. I've danced an embarrassing number of times to She's Not Afraid in my living room. I also love the little production flourishes like having the beeping horns and background noises. To my great surprise this was written by the Js and Tim Wood! I thought this would be one of the Swedish tracks. Interesting.


Please be patient while I get the hateration out of this rate. We've participated in several rates together now @constantino (4) and I can't say I'm any closer to understanding your musical taste- "This is just so…limp. It has no interesting, catchy or fun qualities/ideas that justify its existence. Definition of pointless filler."


Oh please, there are some good songs on Up All Night, @With The Bands (5)- "Hmm kind of a step back to UAN"


I got absolutely no justification from the following haters- @Up Down Suite (3), @GhettoPrincess (5), @Remorque (5.5), @thefaceofyou (5.5), @Furball (4), and @Fever (5). Please start casting actors/actresses for your villain roles in the @ohnostalgia biopic.


@A$AP Robbie's (7) musical references continue to concern me- "I mean its basically a Sum 41 song, but it feels like a step up considering the stuff that actually made it on the album proper." Trust me, I was a Canadian teenager during their heyday. And yet this comparison confuses me.


This seems like a fair score from @sexercise (7)- "Sometimes I think this is annoying but other times I listen to it for 5 hours straight."


Okay, you couldn't have given out more points, @VivaForever (7.5)?- "I don’t have anything interesting to say but that was a bop."


@Macsun (8.5) continues his rise in my esteem- "Everyone sounds great on this. Yes, Niall and Louis included. Soaring choruses led by Zayn and a great outro by Harry."


Approach it from her perspective, @First2Run (9)! "I appreciate this song for the change of perspective from most of their other material. It still, however, is a basic bop about a girl, so I don’t exactly know what to do with it."


Wait, you know who Neil Diamond is, @DJHazey (9)? "Ahh, I knew it. I figured this was building towards a "Cherry Cherry" (Neil Diamond) melody and that's exactly what we have here. What a jam, highlighted by the catchy "looooove"."


Please comfort me @SophiaSophia (9.4)- "So catchy and brilliant" and @Xanthippe (9.5)- "So fun!"


We can always count on @wackseed (10) for a feminist spin!- "And here we have 1D doing what they do better than anything – writing songs that glorify girls. More than the ballads, more than the party songs, One Direction exists for building up teenage girls. What a time to be alive."


Does it hurt more knowing the three Js wrote this, @eccentricsimply (10)- "One of their best! They knew how to do pop so well I'm never going to understand why they had to pull the dad rock card when they could come up with tracks like this one."


Do we have any other Scottish voters here? Can somebody check in on @Animalia (10)? This is how many 10s in a row now.... "SUPER LAME FUN FACT TIME! This album came out not long before an exam period during uni, and my friend and I used this song as a memory trick: we used to sing it as "she's not afraid of angiotensin" etc., angiotensin being one of the hormones that cause the sensation of thirst, and obvs the One Direction boys make us hella thirsty. Totally worked. (Also an amazing song.)"

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Maybe you should've scored things higher then. You were in control of your destiny.

 

I meant scoring the songs you cared about higher.

 

There are five songs left from Midnight Memories. I think Take Me Home is okay.

 

I'm absolutely disgusted.

 

My hopeful top ten is Diana, Fireproof, Happily, Kiss You, Night Changes, One Thing, Stole My Heart, Story of My Life, What Makes You Beautiful, and Where Do Broken Hearts Go.

 

Now I'm thinking of writing one entry as a diary. I don't know if that would be a trainwreck though.

I could also be forgetting all the Sum 41 songs that sound like it. I may have repressed them.