iheartHazey's 90s EURODANCE PARTY: Wanna go for a rate? - THE END

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#66. Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe - 6.228

After 5: #36
After 10: #38
After 15: #46
After 20: #70
After 25: #66
After 30: #56
Final: #66

(Seriously, you guys were ALL over the place on this one.)

Highest: 10 x 5 (@iheartpoptarts, @Daniel_O, @Eric, @Ray, @phily693)

Lowest: 0 x 5 (@CasuallyCrazed, @31entrance, @Empty Shoebox, @Untouchable Ace, @Conan)

Album: Sex & Violins (1995)

Best Charts: #1 (UK), #1 (Austria), #1 (Belgium), #1 (Denmark), #1 (Finland), #1 (Germany), #1 (Netherlands), #1 (New Zealand), #1 (Norway), #1 (Scotland), #1 (Sweden), #1 (Switzerland)

(Take that, haters!)


Producers: Mup a.k.a. Pat Reiniz (of Rednex)

The biggest hit we've eliminated to date, 'Cotton Eye Joe' was an old folk song turned dance bop, and did it ever pay off. And I didn't even bother writing the non-#1 chart positions down, so there's more where all that success came from.

(Take that, haters! Again.)

Rising to fame by portraying rednecks (obvs) in the most stereotypical sense of the word, the Rednex originally consisted of Mary Joe, Bobby Sue, Ken Tacky, Billy Ray, and Mup. Not their real names (obvs).

I say "originally" because they've had a ton of lineup changes over the years. I mean, honestly. I'll just leave this here, shall I?

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In their heyday, the Rednex had it all, including music with Max Martin and Denniz PoP, as everyone amazing and Swedish should try for at least once in a career. Sadly, it turns out this is a ballad, so it's not as exciting as it sounds.



They even had their own computer game (included with their EP a la Toy-Box), a point-and-click adventure entitled Inbred with Rednex.

I didn't make this up. Y'all can check it out if you want. It looks not exactly terrible for 1995.



I used to know the steps to the 'Cotton Eye Joe' dance. I wish I could remember them these days. And yes, I do realize this is the kind of thing I could probably YouTube in two seconds.

As for my co-host, when @DJHazey was much younger, he was under the impression that 'Cotton Eye Joe' was a rap song. Apparently his brother didn't let him live that down for quite a while. I hope I'm allowed to tell that story.

Heart:

@Hudweiser (9) - Twisted genius

@berserkboi (9.6) - Classic Red Neck bop (obvs)

@roborovsky (8) - I’d give Old Pop In An Oak the full 10/10.

Behold the sequel to 'Cotton Eye Joe', in which the guy barbecues his wife's pet skunk, so he goes to hide in a tree.



@Sprockrooster (8) - A problematic fave. Why something with those desastrous lyrics sounds so damn great. *Goes into hiding.

I'll go with you! And so will a lot of people.

@Ray (10) - I know this is objectively awful, but hearing the song made me replay the album AGAIN. Despite its…cover…art.

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...Oh. Oh dear.

@phily693 (10) - I only very recently discovered what this song was about and now when I hear it I just have to let anyone around me know that pearl of wisdom because I don’t think it’s as obvious as one might think. It will always remind me of the dance machines at the arcades/amusements.

I could DDR to this!


@Cutlery (7.6) - This is bottom 10 fodder but I genuinely enjoyed how batshit it was. Country has never sounded this awkward and quirky

And indeed, some notable country-inspired pop came up...


@One Stop Candy Shop (8.5) - I wish Kylie had taken notes from this one. I probably would've liked Golden a lot more.

@ohnoitisnathan (8) - Enjoyable in a novelty kind of way. Whoever created Steps and decided to launch them with '5, 6, 7, 8' was obviously a fan of this song.

We've got good memories...

@sfmartin (9) - Infamous. I always thought the memories I had of this song were better than the actual song itself but its actually extremely well put together.

@Eric (10) - I love the blend of country and techno, and there's obviously the countless memories of do-si-doing with strangers at weddings and clubs - it's irresistible.

Hate:

And bad memories...


@Empty Shoebox (0) - Kill it etc. I've never liked this song, and the number of bad experiences I had at parties in the '90s which I now relate to this song just makes it worse. Maybe I'm not from the right part of the world. Maybe you need to be from somewhere where people can recognise line dancing to appreciate the joke here. I can't say. I just know that whoever it is they were aiming for, it wasn't me.

...So the entirety of the UK didn't in fact learn line dancing thanks to '5,6,7,8' by Steps?

@OspreyQueen (1) - I’ll throw one point at it for spawning some pretty funny memes.

@Seventeen Days (1) - Heard this EVERYWHERE back in the day. Repetitive, irritating, and god that fucking name. Next.

@CasuallyCrazed (0) - Literally in the running for one of the worst songs of all time. Kill it with fire.

A 5?!?!?!?!:

@WowWowWowWow (5) - Thank goodness we only had the one Rednex song make an impact over here. I'm not sure I could have handled multiple singles. Also for this rate I discovered that Lady Rednex also competed in Melodifestivalen under her own name -



- or rather, I knew of this song, but I didn't know she was Lady Rednex. She was one spot away from making it to the final that year! (And then Rednex came back in 2006 which is better left undiscussed....) Anyway Cotton Eye Joe has just overstayed its welcome in my life over the past 20 years. I get it, I understand what they were trying to do, I am sure I have bopped along or done a poor imitation of a line dance to it, but if it were to play on shuffle nowadays, I would probably take a sledgehammer to my phone. And that album cover is 100% cringe.

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A region takes its first hit...






























































































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#64. Maxx - Get-a-Way - 6.236

After 5: #34
After 10: #65
After 15: #55
After 20: #67
After 25: #67
After 30: #69
Final: #64

Highest: 10 x 4 (@roborovsky, @idratherjack, @ohnoitisnathan, @Remorque) 9.9 x 1 (@Untouchable Ace)

Lowest: 0 x 1 (@CasuallyCrazed), 2 x 2 (@soratami, @Aester)

Album: To the Maxximum (1994)

Best Charts: #4 (UK), #11 (Germany), #3 (Austria), #5 (Finland), #8 (Ireland), #3 (Netherlands), #8 (Norway), #3 (Sweden), #8 (Switzerland)

Producers: The Movement (of Maxx, Real McCoy)

Once upon a time, the musical geniuses behind Real McCoy's 'Another Night' decided to adopt aliases and launch another project, and Maxx was born in all its faux-ragga dancetastic glory.

Though 'Get-a-Way' achieved Europe-wide success, Maxx almost ended before it began. Vocalist Samira Besic quit shortly after recording the song, only to eventually put out solo music in very much the same vein. It's a bop and a bit of a discovery. This is why we do research, guys!



With no one to sing, Maxx proceeded in true 90s Eurodance fashion and hired dancer/model Alice Montana to lip sync the 'Get-a-Way' vocals in Samira's place. But this didn't last long - British singer Linda Meek joined Maxx just in time for the follow-up hit.



Moving on to the present day, Linda still performs as Maxx now and then at 90s festivals, often with the help of rent-a-rappers. Her old solo stuff is also dance bops for days.



Randomly enough, Maxx mastermind The Hitman went on to do just about an entire album with The Moffatts.



...Yes, that's a boyband. From Canada. Hopefully @DJHazey won't mind!

Get-A-Way:

@ohnoitisnathan (10) - Such a bop! One of the few exceptions where ragga and eurodance work together (even if the verse lyrics are dodgy)

@roborovsky (10) - Never quite understood the hyphenation in the title nor ‘Gary B’ and his fauxmaican rapping. Love that Linda (who didn’t even sing on this but did on the follow up singles) has made herself a little career out of appearing at European 90s nostalgia festivals. Good for you, Linda!

I wanna go to a 90s nostalgia festival. Take me with you!

@berserkboi (8.1) - Gets a bit tedious but fun

@Seventeen Days (7) - This one gets an above-average score because those icy synths are simply delish.

@Hudweiser (8) - As is the trend here, I preferred the follow up, No More. The rap is frankly embarrassing to listen to now, but it's saved by the rest of it.

Get It Away:

@CasuallyCrazed (0) - Bootleg sounding trash.

@Empty Shoebox (3) - That rap is just awful. Even the parts where the woman sings aren't great.

Just Okay:

Indeed, the rap stylings of Gary B. were not especially popular...

@phily693 (5.5) - It should go so much harder than it does. The guy’s parts drag it down.

@WowWowWowWow (6) - So, I was ready to just be like "Well, it sounds like every other song from this era, but it's this era so it's great!" and then the guy started rapping. At least that's what I think he was doing. With none of the passion of an O-Jay or a Lane McCray!

@Sprockrooster (5) - I love the beat, but the male voice especially is uncaptivating.

@31entrance (5) - 5 points off for that horrible white rapper.

@Cutlery (6.6) - Did he just sing something about “I’m a white man, I’m a white man”? Boppable nonetheless.

Believe it or not, those are the actual words!

@Ray (4) - “Oh. That one.”

@One Stop Candy Shop (5) - I don't care.

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I didn't even realise before that a different vocalist did 'Get-A-Way' to the later Maxx singles. I assumed that the singer of 'No More' was the real singer of 'Get-A-Way', I guess because she (from memory) did the live vocal TOTP performance of 'Get-A-Way', because I guess... she's somewhat aesthetically-challenged (for a Eurodance singer, anyway), and it might have been a Felly/Ya Kid K-type situation, where they hired a more-'presentable' face for the first release, before the real singer demanded to front the group.
 
Happy Saturday night, guys!





























































































...No, that's not a hint. Can you imagine?



































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#63. Twenty 4 Seven - Slave to the Music - 6.292

After 5: #64
After 10: #69
After 15: #65
After 20: #68
After 25: #68
After 30: #64
Final: #63

Highest: 10 x 3 (@dancingwithmyself, @geomixes, @ohnoitisnathan) 9.6 x 1 (@berserkboi)

Lowest: 3 x 2 (@Daniel_O, @soratami) 3.5 x 1 (@DJHazey)

(Finally, no zeroes!)

Album: Slave to the Music (1993)

Best Charts: #2 (Australia), #7 (Denmark), #8 (Germany), #6 (Netherlands), #5 (Norway), #7 (Finland), #4 (Sweden)

Producers: Ruud van Rijen (of Twenty 4 Seven)

Twenty 4 Seven (not to be confused with short-lived UK boyband Twen2y 4 Se7en) was originally formed by DJ Ruud van Rijen and former army captain turned producer/rapper Captain Hollywood—yes, that one.

Several years before 'Slave to the Music', they got their start doing the whole late-80s/early-90s Technotronic-esque hip house sort of thing with 'I Can't Stand It', which remains their biggest UK success to date.



Such an addictive bop, and it would've been here too if it wasn't from 1989!

Captain Hollywood (the down MC!) left shortly thereafter to start his own, well, project. I'll let you guess what it was called.

'Slave to the Music', Twenty 4 Seven's lone entry in our rate, has the distinction of having been a massive Eurodance hit in Australia. As well as across Europe, but I mean, that happens all the time with this stuff.



There is a frog in this video for no apparent reason. I love it.

Lead singer Nancy Coolen a.k.a. Nance later went out on her own, and I can't decide whether to post the actual Eurodance song or give @DJHazey a shout-out. You know what? Have both.





(Did I mention I love everything he plays? *wink*)

Since then, they've gone through a number of vocalists (Sharon Doorson of PJSC sort-of-fame being the most PJ-relevant one) and attempted several comebacks, most recently with 2012's 'The Reason'.



Australia:

@ohnoitisnathan (10) - There were a couple of Eurodance songs that were big in Australia in the 90s, but, oddly, not the the UK. This is one of them (#2 in Oz). A fab choon that's catchy as hell. A real earworm. Oh nay na na nay nah! A favourite memory associated with this is having a friend from my form sing "I'm a slave to the (my high school nickname, which I'm not revealing here)" to me in double Friday afternoon Indonesian class.

@berserkboi (9.6) - Awesome

I guess you had to be there!

The Rest of the World:

@Remorque (6.5) - I've always thought of Twenty 4 Seven as a poor man's 2 Unlimited, but I did like Slave to the Music back in the day. Now it sounds quite dated though...

@Empty Shoebox (4) - The na na na nay na bits really get on my tits, and given how often they're used, you can see why they lower my opinion of the whole song.

OH NAY NA NA... okay, okay, I'll stop now.

@Ray (4) - I actually never heard this before the rate, I think! I didn’t miss much, sadly.

@CasuallyCrazed (5) - Surprisingly soothing, let me put this on my power-yoga playlist.

@sfmartin (6) - I like the breakdown. The other parts don't really stand out.

@WowWowWowWow (7) - The Wikipedia page for Twenty 4 Seven is a treasure trove of information. Somebody in this group left and became Captain Hollywood Project? Sharon Doorson was a vocalist for this group for about 30 seconds? I like this song but I am probably an oversensitive American and a white lady singing about how she's a slave is... a bit of a choice.

I had a lot of fun on Wikipedia, let me tell you!

@Seventeen Days (7) - Ohh yas, this is more of the sound that I enjoy. I can totally see 12 year old me getting my preteen life to this back in the day.

@Sprockrooster (6) - This is drifting a bit to nowhere. Not offensive either. Very average.

@phily693 (5.5) - It’s very kids’ TV show intro. Sadly not a huge fan.

"Kids' TV show" is the new "kindergarten", am I right?

@One Stop Candy Shop (5) - I wouldn’t listen to this 24/7.

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(For no apparent reason.)​
 
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Yeah that choice of synths and the chorus are both annoying, 3.5 all day. That's two of my lowest scores out now (Technotronic).

Invasion of the boybands! This is what happens when @iheartpoptarts takes over I guess, ddd.

Oh am I your favorite DJ? I'm not even a real DJ though, I just like music.

But hey might as well post this because I can.



EXCUSE ME.

(I know you're not a real DJ, obvs!)
 
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Canadian 90s Party Time
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In today's edition of songs that could have been here, we celebrate Canada!

*bops in igloo*

Kim Esty is a Canadian dance singer who @WowWowWowWow has highlighted for us. Here we have 'Funky Little Beat', the work of legendary producer and PJOPS debut-ruiner Barry Harris. (I heart him anyway!)

As such, this will probably get deleted off the internet before anyone sees it.



This next one is totally the Menudo song. Amazing.



In the late 90s, Kim collaborated with dance trio the Boomtang Boys, and their infamous 1999 hit 'Squeeze Toy' is so not about rubber duckies. I almost sent it to the PJOPS story round before I realized I would have to explain the story myself!



Also a bop, less notable lyrics...



Canadian hottie Joée and his collaborators Intonation are a fave of @ohnoitisnathan, who's helpfully provided us with a flawless video!



I'm a stan, as it happens. After his dance era, he went all boyband-sounding towards the end of the 90s, so he's pretty much done everything I love!​
 
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Yeah that choice of synths and the chorus are both annoying, 3.5 all day. That's two of my lowest scores out now (Technotronic).

Invasion of the boybands! This is what happens when @iheartpoptarts takes over I guess, ddd.

Oh am I your favorite DJ? I'm not even a real DJ though, I just like music.

But hey might as well post this because I can.



She performed this on an episode of Ricki Lake that was about people who look like 'freaks'. The singer from Bloodhound Gang also appeared on this episode, as a judge (of a freak contest) rather than performing. I may still have it on VHS somewhere...
 
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After eliminating some of my mediocre to low scores, we're sadly back to songs that both hosts gave 10s to..
















































































































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#62. Bambee - Typical Tropical - 6.303

After 5: #41
After 10: #62
After 15: #68
After 20: #64
After 25: #65
After 30: #57
Final: #62

Highest: 10 x 3 (@iheartpoptarts, DJHazey, @Aester) 9.5 (@31entrance)

Lowest: 0 (@geomixes) 2 (@CasuallyCrazed)

The anti-bubblegum brigade is at it again, ddd.

Album: On Ice (1999)

Producers: Honeycutt (Miss Papaya, Toy-Box) and Longhorn (Hit'n'Hide, Ni-Ni)

Desirée Sparre-Enger also known as Bambee is one of the more prominent artists in the bubblegum dance community. She chose the name 'Bambee' because people often said her eyes reminded them of the Disney character, but she changed it from 'Bambi' to avoid copyright issues. Legend states that she was born in a cowshed in the Norwegian countryside, though this probably isn't true. They are many cute little fantasy tales about her life because of how small of a person she was. She discovered pop music at the age of 2 and was very much into theater from early age. She always wanted to play the lead role, including plays like The Sound of Music and Les Miserables in grade school.

Working for a youth department of a national radio station, Desirée got her chance to become a star when a producer asked her to sing the chorus for a song, that song ended up becoming her first single: "Candy Girl". This is also where her trademark 'baby-voiced' style came to fruition, the mix that ends up on her debut album, the "Y2K mix" can be heard here:



Lines like "I'm no bimbo, boys love me!" and randomly interjecting "I love candy!" make this is a legendary bubblegum track.

Bambee had to fight hard to get heard as an artist, but quickly developed a public demand for her music as she did festival tours and played at small clubs - even though she had the position at a major radio station in Norway it did not give her the inside track one would think she'd have. Bambee became known as someone with an abundance of confidence and character, considered one of the sweetest personalities in Norway during her hayday. It reflected the music very well. One of her biggest hobbies off stage was playing video games and her favorite was apparently Resident Evil. Speaking of video games, her music became pretty popular in Asia and she ended up becoming a name in DDR. Probably her most well known song is "Bumble Bee' but I didn't add it to the songlist because I feared for it more than I did for "Typical Tropical". You can hear it here and decide for yourself.



After her two albums, On Ice and Fairytales, she was ready to make a third and even had demos but co-writer Linnea Handberg (Miss Papaya) grew tired of writing bubblegum-styled music and both projects were ended.

Now that you know who Bambee is let's find out why you had her miss the Top 60.

Typical:

@CasuallyCrazed (2) - Another Aqua imitation to my ears. I hate how obvious the chorus is.

Yeah her music is pretty straight-forward sometimes, but always 100% a bop.

@Empty Shoebox (6) - I don't love this, but it feels less phoned in than others, as if more time and effort has been spent trying to create this record.

Believe it or not, she was hard worker.

@Sprockrooster (6) - I expected more sunshine and breeziness from this song.

@ohnoitisnathan (5) - I think it's more than evident by now, if you're reading my commentary in the order that the songs in this rate are listed, that I am NOT a fan of eurodance from the point where it merged into being kiddie-pop. I don't consider this sort of music eurodance. Eurocheese, perhaps. That being said, it is kind of catchy.

Hate it all you want, but it's Eurodance all day!

@Cutlery (2.9) - This exudes a strikingly similar demonic energy than Bailando.

How long till that gets eliminated? This is certainly better in my eyes.

Tropical:

@phily693 (6) - I bop to the breakdown.

@One Stop Candy Shop (7.5) - Never heard of her before but it sure is instant.

Check out her albums if you get the chance.

@Ray (5.5) - Does “not that bad” count as a compliment?

I'll take it, just wish the score was higher haha.

@Seventeen Days (7) - The light touches of house piano and the whistle-like synth are pretty much cinching this one for me. Super catchy and fun.

Catchy and fun is all I ever need.

@31entrance (9.5) - I know I probably said this a few times here but what a bop!

That's why we did this rate, all bops and nothing else.

@sfmartin (7) - Typical Tropical summer bop. Cute, but heard it all before. I like the breakdown.

@berserkboi (8.6) - Lovely!

@WowWowWowWow (8) - I once gave Bambee my 12 points in a PJSC, and I was the only person to give it points that round. Sad! This covers alot of the same ground, which is ground that I enjoy being on.

I don't think that was me. Let's see here. Oh "Wham Bam Boogie", definitely a fan favorite. Not one of mine but still a bop.



What are my Bambee favorites you may ask? Well one of my all-time favorites songs period is this gem. Just listen to how sensual she sounds of the verses, everything about this will always be addictive to my ears. Plus you get to actually see who she is in this video.



Then "Boom Didi Da" from Fairytales which is 'Caution: extremely catchy".

"Gotta give me love-whoa-oh-oh-oh" = perfection


 

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