iheartHazey's 90s EURODANCE PARTY: Wanna go for a rate? - THE END

So two regions have the most people with their highest average, Denmark's nine members haven't been able to prevent its early cull, but what about the other region with nine members?

It's time for it to take multiple hits..


#65. T-Spoon - A Part of My Life - 6.231

After 5: #70
After 10: #66
After 15: #54
After 20: #52
After 25: #57
After 30: #63
Final: #65

Highest: 10 (@31entrance) 9 x 2 (@geomixes, @Eric)

Hey look, neither host is among the top scorers, but I gave this a 8.5 so I still love it.

Lowest: 2 (@Aester) 2.5 (@Ray) 3 x 2 (@One Stop Candy Shop, @Conan)

Album: Lexicon of Melody (1996)

Charts: #17 (Netherlands)

Producers: Dominic Sas and Serge Ramaekers (Cartouche)

The group was founded by Shalamon Baskin (Shamrock) and Remy de Groot (Prince Peration) who were offered a recoding deal by No More Music in 1991. The band always consisted of four members on stage, but those four members were constantly changing. The initial female vocalist though was Ingrid Simons (aka BB Queen - named after B.B. King) who was a very popular session singer during this time and the main rapper was co-founder Shamrock. The band's name came about because one day Shamrock was stirring a cup of tea and said "I'd rather have a gold record than a gold tea spoon any day" and Prince Peration said "that's it...that's our name".

Arguably the best combo for T-Spoon was when Linda Estelle and Shamrock teamed, which is what you hear in "A Part of My Life" as well as "Sex on the Beach" (Linda can always be spotted because her iconic short blonde hair). It's obvious "Sex on the Beach" was their biggest hit as none of their other singles touch it as far as charting outside of the Netherlands. But it wasn't always on the song list until late, more on why when that elimination happens. "A Part of My Life" is one of a handful songs I know by this group and has always been a favorite, though my ultimate favorite that would be on all-time list if I made one today, I'll post that one below.

I feared people might thing this was too fast-paced for them so let's see if that's what happened.

Not A Part Of Their Lives:

@WowWowWowWow (6) - I'm worried that the songs that I never heard before this rate are going to suffer in scores compared to the ones I've memorized every nook and cranny of, but it is what it is. This is new to me, and I'm not sure how much I am here for these frenetic / borderline happy hardcore sounding songs.

Hey, just be happy I didn't bring Blümchen into the rate, because I very could've. *evil laugh* (One of my all-time favorites so it was hard not to break the rules and add her)

@berserkboi (8.7) - Weaker than the other entry.

@sfmartin (6) - A bit shrill. Gives me a headache. Throws a bit too much as the wall and not all of it stick's. It sounds unnecessarily and awkwardly sped up.

They are known to do all kinds of variations in the Eurodance spectrum so I bet you'd love some of their music.

@Empty Shoebox (4) - All my points here going to the vocal, because the rest of the track just doesn't have it. We can waste hours debating what 'it' is, or we can just move on. I vote for the latter.

At least you know Linda is the queen she is.

@Seventeen Days (5) - Holy crap, this song has a super fast BPM. I bet the ravers loved this shit back in the day. I’m not ready to stan over it, but it’s catchy.

@Sprockrooster (6) - This is probably a fucking jam when you are at least tipsy, but completely sober this has little impact.

*watches these two hit the rave this weekend*

@Ray - *got tired within 30 seconds*

@One Stop Candy Shop (2.5) - Give me sex on the beach but not this.

I bet your happy about the T-Spoon ranking order then.

The Sun Is Always Shining, Love Is Everywhere:

@geomixes (9) - This was an unexpected and most welcome Euro-frenzy

I'm here to add to people's playlists.

@A$AP Robbie (6) - I didn't know they had other songs.

I'm just going to assume this was a good thing for you.

@ohnoitisnathan (7) - Hadn't heard this before. Nice.

@phily693 (7.5) - I actually know this. Or at least it sounds very familiar. Was it ever a song for the dancemat/dance machines because I can picture myself doing the steps?

I don't believe so, but it would've definitely fit in well.

@Remorque (8) - This was never really on my radar back in 1995, because they didn't play this on the radio, oh at all, but I did discover it on a dance compilation way back when my mother used to get me all of them and I used to listen to it all the time. A couple of years after it was initially released they did always play this at parties I was at when I was way too young to be at them when we took our annual family holiday in the south of the country.

Love the stories.

The reason I didn't add my all-time favorite song to this song list is because I wasn't really sure about whether it fit within the parameters of the rate. Wikipedia doesn't have it listed as a single at all and discogs says 2000, but Eurodance encyclopedia says 1999 so maybe in retrospect it could've been added. The video doesn't help much because it doesn't exactly scream official release, but whatever the case it would be in my all-time 100 songs without question. The lyrics are deliciously naughty (pun intended) - it's such a jam. PJOPS participants will know it, but the rest of you get your lives.

Let's do a couple more 'songs we could have rated'.

@P Grandson tells us "anything by 2 Brothers on the 4th Floor'. Okay will this do?

We'll stick to the Dutch picks with this one:

Also I forgot to mention after they were eliminated from this rate that he suggested "Feel the Rhythm" for Capital Sound which is worthy pick too.

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#66. Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe - 6.228

After 5: #36
After 10: #38
After 15: #46
After 20: #70
After 25: #66
After 30: #56
Final: #66

(Seriously, you guys were ALL over the place on this one.)

Highest: 10 x 5 (@iheartpoptarts, @Daniel_O, @Eric, @Ray, @phily693)

Lowest: 0 x 5 (@CasuallyCrazed, @31entrance, @Empty Shoebox, @Untouchable Ace, @Conan)

Album: Sex & Violins (1995)

Best Charts: #1 (UK), #1 (Austria), #1 (Belgium), #1 (Denmark), #1 (Finland), #1 (Germany), #1 (Netherlands), #1 (New Zealand), #1 (Norway), #1 (Scotland), #1 (Sweden), #1 (Switzerland)

(Take that, haters!)

Producers: Mup a.k.a. Pat Reiniz (of Rednex)

The biggest hit we've eliminated to date, 'Cotton Eye Joe' was an old folk song turned dance bop, and did it ever pay off. And I didn't even bother writing the non-#1 chart positions down, so there's more where all that success came from.

(Take that, haters! Again.)

Rising to fame by portraying rednecks (obvs) in the most stereotypical sense of the word, the Rednex originally consisted of Mary Joe, Bobby Sue, Ken Tacky, Billy Ray, and Mup. Not their real names (obvs).

I say "originally" because they've had a ton of lineup changes over the years. I mean, honestly. I'll just leave this here, shall I?


In their heyday, the Rednex had it all, including music with Max Martin and Denniz PoP, as everyone amazing and Swedish should try for at least once in a career. Sadly, it turns out this is a ballad, so it's not as exciting as it sounds.

They even had their own computer game (included with their EP a la Toy-Box), a point-and-click adventure entitled Inbred with Rednex.

I didn't make this up. Y'all can check it out if you want. It looks not exactly terrible for 1995.

I used to know the steps to the 'Cotton Eye Joe' dance. I wish I could remember them these days. And yes, I do realize this is the kind of thing I could probably YouTube in two seconds.

As for my co-host, when @DJHazey was much younger, he was under the impression that 'Cotton Eye Joe' was a rap song. Apparently his brother didn't let him live that down for quite a while. I hope I'm allowed to tell that story.


@Hudweiser (9) - Twisted genius

@berserkboi (9.6) - Classic Red Neck bop (obvs)

@roborovsky (8) - I’d give Old Pop In An Oak the full 10/10.

Behold the sequel to 'Cotton Eye Joe', in which the guy barbecues his wife's pet skunk, so he goes to hide in a tree.

@Sprockrooster (8) - A problematic fave. Why something with those desastrous lyrics sounds so damn great. *Goes into hiding.

I'll go with you! And so will a lot of people.

@Ray (10) - I know this is objectively awful, but hearing the song made me replay the album AGAIN. Despite its…cover…art.


...Oh. Oh dear.

@phily693 (10) - I only very recently discovered what this song was about and now when I hear it I just have to let anyone around me know that pearl of wisdom because I don’t think it’s as obvious as one might think. It will always remind me of the dance machines at the arcades/amusements.

I could DDR to this!

@Cutlery (7.6) - This is bottom 10 fodder but I genuinely enjoyed how batshit it was. Country has never sounded this awkward and quirky

And indeed, some notable country-inspired pop came up...

@One Stop Candy Shop (8.5) - I wish Kylie had taken notes from this one. I probably would've liked Golden a lot more.

@ohnoitisnathan (8) - Enjoyable in a novelty kind of way. Whoever created Steps and decided to launch them with '5, 6, 7, 8' was obviously a fan of this song.

We've got good memories...

@sfmartin (9) - Infamous. I always thought the memories I had of this song were better than the actual song itself but its actually extremely well put together.

@Eric (10) - I love the blend of country and techno, and there's obviously the countless memories of do-si-doing with strangers at weddings and clubs - it's irresistible.


And bad memories...

@Empty Shoebox (0) - Kill it etc. I've never liked this song, and the number of bad experiences I had at parties in the '90s which I now relate to this song just makes it worse. Maybe I'm not from the right part of the world. Maybe you need to be from somewhere where people can recognise line dancing to appreciate the joke here. I can't say. I just know that whoever it is they were aiming for, it wasn't me.

...So the entirety of the UK didn't in fact learn line dancing thanks to '5,6,7,8' by Steps?

@OspreyQueen (1) - I’ll throw one point at it for spawning some pretty funny memes.

@Seventeen Days (1) - Heard this EVERYWHERE back in the day. Repetitive, irritating, and god that fucking name. Next.

@CasuallyCrazed (0) - Literally in the running for one of the worst songs of all time. Kill it with fire.

A 5?!?!?!?!:

@WowWowWowWow (5) - Thank goodness we only had the one Rednex song make an impact over here. I'm not sure I could have handled multiple singles. Also for this rate I discovered that Lady Rednex also competed in Melodifestivalen under her own name -

- or rather, I knew of this song, but I didn't know she was Lady Rednex. She was one spot away from making it to the final that year! (And then Rednex came back in 2006 which is better left undiscussed....) Anyway Cotton Eye Joe has just overstayed its welcome in my life over the past 20 years. I get it, I understand what they were trying to do, I am sure I have bopped along or done a poor imitation of a line dance to it, but if it were to play on shuffle nowadays, I would probably take a sledgehammer to my phone. And that album cover is 100% cringe.


A region takes its first hit...


#64. Maxx - Get-a-Way - 6.236

After 5: #34
After 10: #65
After 15: #55
After 20: #67
After 25: #67
After 30: #69
Final: #64

Highest: 10 x 4 (@roborovsky, @idratherjack, @ohnoitisnathan, @Remorque) 9.9 x 1 (@Untouchable Ace)

Lowest: 0 x 1 (@CasuallyCrazed), 2 x 2 (@soratami, @Aester)

Album: To the Maxximum (1994)

Best Charts: #4 (UK), #11 (Germany), #3 (Austria), #5 (Finland), #8 (Ireland), #3 (Netherlands), #8 (Norway), #3 (Sweden), #8 (Switzerland)

Producers: The Movement (of Maxx, Real McCoy)

Once upon a time, the musical geniuses behind Real McCoy's 'Another Night' decided to adopt aliases and launch another project, and Maxx was born in all its faux-ragga dancetastic glory.

Though 'Get-a-Way' achieved Europe-wide success, Maxx almost ended before it began. Vocalist Samira Besic quit shortly after recording the song, only to eventually put out solo music in very much the same vein. It's a bop and a bit of a discovery. This is why we do research, guys!

With no one to sing, Maxx proceeded in true 90s Eurodance fashion and hired dancer/model Alice Montana to lip sync the 'Get-a-Way' vocals in Samira's place. But this didn't last long - British singer Linda Meek joined Maxx just in time for the follow-up hit.

Moving on to the present day, Linda still performs as Maxx now and then at 90s festivals, often with the help of rent-a-rappers. Her old solo stuff is also dance bops for days.

Randomly enough, Maxx mastermind The Hitman went on to do just about an entire album with The Moffatts.

...Yes, that's a boyband. From Canada. Hopefully @DJHazey won't mind!


@ohnoitisnathan (10) - Such a bop! One of the few exceptions where ragga and eurodance work together (even if the verse lyrics are dodgy)

@roborovsky (10) - Never quite understood the hyphenation in the title nor ‘Gary B’ and his fauxmaican rapping. Love that Linda (who didn’t even sing on this but did on the follow up singles) has made herself a little career out of appearing at European 90s nostalgia festivals. Good for you, Linda!

I wanna go to a 90s nostalgia festival. Take me with you!

@berserkboi (8.1) - Gets a bit tedious but fun

@Seventeen Days (7) - This one gets an above-average score because those icy synths are simply delish.

@Hudweiser (8) - As is the trend here, I preferred the follow up, No More. The rap is frankly embarrassing to listen to now, but it's saved by the rest of it.

Get It Away:

@CasuallyCrazed (0) - Bootleg sounding trash.

@Empty Shoebox (3) - That rap is just awful. Even the parts where the woman sings aren't great.

Just Okay:

Indeed, the rap stylings of Gary B. were not especially popular...

@phily693 (5.5) - It should go so much harder than it does. The guy’s parts drag it down.

@WowWowWowWow (6) - So, I was ready to just be like "Well, it sounds like every other song from this era, but it's this era so it's great!" and then the guy started rapping. At least that's what I think he was doing. With none of the passion of an O-Jay or a Lane McCray!

@Sprockrooster (5) - I love the beat, but the male voice especially is uncaptivating.

@31entrance (5) - 5 points off for that horrible white rapper.

@Cutlery (6.6) - Did he just sing something about “I’m a white man, I’m a white man”? Boppable nonetheless.

Believe it or not, those are the actual words!

@Ray (4) - “Oh. That one.”

@One Stop Candy Shop (5) - I don't care.


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I didn't even realise before that a different vocalist did 'Get-A-Way' to the later Maxx singles. I assumed that the singer of 'No More' was the real singer of 'Get-A-Way', I guess because she (from memory) did the live vocal TOTP performance of 'Get-A-Way', because I guess... she's somewhat aesthetically-challenged (for a Eurodance singer, anyway), and it might have been a Felly/Ya Kid K-type situation, where they hired a more-'presentable' face for the first release, before the real singer demanded to front the group.
Happy Saturday night, guys!

...No, that's not a hint. Can you imagine?


#63. Twenty 4 Seven - Slave to the Music - 6.292

After 5: #64
After 10: #69
After 15: #65
After 20: #68
After 25: #68
After 30: #64
Final: #63

Highest: 10 x 3 (@dancingwithmyself, @geomixes, @ohnoitisnathan) 9.6 x 1 (@berserkboi)

Lowest: 3 x 2 (@Daniel_O, @soratami) 3.5 x 1 (@DJHazey)

(Finally, no zeroes!)

Album: Slave to the Music (1993)

Best Charts: #2 (Australia), #7 (Denmark), #8 (Germany), #6 (Netherlands), #5 (Norway), #7 (Finland), #4 (Sweden)

Producers: Ruud van Rijen (of Twenty 4 Seven)

Twenty 4 Seven (not to be confused with short-lived UK boyband Twen2y 4 Se7en) was originally formed by DJ Ruud van Rijen and former army captain turned producer/rapper Captain Hollywood—yes, that one.

Several years before 'Slave to the Music', they got their start doing the whole late-80s/early-90s Technotronic-esque hip house sort of thing with 'I Can't Stand It', which remains their biggest UK success to date.

Such an addictive bop, and it would've been here too if it wasn't from 1989!

Captain Hollywood (the down MC!) left shortly thereafter to start his own, well, project. I'll let you guess what it was called.

'Slave to the Music', Twenty 4 Seven's lone entry in our rate, has the distinction of having been a massive Eurodance hit in Australia. As well as across Europe, but I mean, that happens all the time with this stuff.

There is a frog in this video for no apparent reason. I love it.

Lead singer Nancy Coolen a.k.a. Nance later went out on her own, and I can't decide whether to post the actual Eurodance song or give @DJHazey a shout-out. You know what? Have both.

(Did I mention I love everything he plays? *wink*)

Since then, they've gone through a number of vocalists (Sharon Doorson of PJSC sort-of-fame being the most PJ-relevant one) and attempted several comebacks, most recently with 2012's 'The Reason'.


@ohnoitisnathan (10) - There were a couple of Eurodance songs that were big in Australia in the 90s, but, oddly, not the the UK. This is one of them (#2 in Oz). A fab choon that's catchy as hell. A real earworm. Oh nay na na nay nah! A favourite memory associated with this is having a friend from my form sing "I'm a slave to the (my high school nickname, which I'm not revealing here)" to me in double Friday afternoon Indonesian class.

@berserkboi (9.6) - Awesome

I guess you had to be there!

The Rest of the World:

@Remorque (6.5) - I've always thought of Twenty 4 Seven as a poor man's 2 Unlimited, but I did like Slave to the Music back in the day. Now it sounds quite dated though...

@Empty Shoebox (4) - The na na na nay na bits really get on my tits, and given how often they're used, you can see why they lower my opinion of the whole song.

OH NAY NA NA... okay, okay, I'll stop now.

@Ray (4) - I actually never heard this before the rate, I think! I didn’t miss much, sadly.

@CasuallyCrazed (5) - Surprisingly soothing, let me put this on my power-yoga playlist.

@sfmartin (6) - I like the breakdown. The other parts don't really stand out.

@WowWowWowWow (7) - The Wikipedia page for Twenty 4 Seven is a treasure trove of information. Somebody in this group left and became Captain Hollywood Project? Sharon Doorson was a vocalist for this group for about 30 seconds? I like this song but I am probably an oversensitive American and a white lady singing about how she's a slave is... a bit of a choice.

I had a lot of fun on Wikipedia, let me tell you!

@Seventeen Days (7) - Ohh yas, this is more of the sound that I enjoy. I can totally see 12 year old me getting my preteen life to this back in the day.

@Sprockrooster (6) - This is drifting a bit to nowhere. Not offensive either. Very average.

@phily693 (5.5) - It’s very kids’ TV show intro. Sadly not a huge fan.

"Kids' TV show" is the new "kindergarten", am I right?

@One Stop Candy Shop (5) - I wouldn’t listen to this 24/7.


(For no apparent reason.)​
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Yeah that choice of synths and the chorus are both annoying, 3.5 all day. That's two of my lowest scores out now (Technotronic).

Invasion of the boybands! This is what happens when @iheartpoptarts takes over I guess, ddd.

Oh am I your favorite DJ? I'm not even a real DJ though, I just like music.

But hey might as well post this because I can.


(I know you're not a real DJ, obvs!)
Canadian 90s Party Time




In today's edition of songs that could have been here, we celebrate Canada!

*bops in igloo*

Kim Esty is a Canadian dance singer who @WowWowWowWow has highlighted for us. Here we have 'Funky Little Beat', the work of legendary producer and PJOPS debut-ruiner Barry Harris. (I heart him anyway!)

As such, this will probably get deleted off the internet before anyone sees it.

This next one is totally the Menudo song. Amazing.

In the late 90s, Kim collaborated with dance trio the Boomtang Boys, and their infamous 1999 hit 'Squeeze Toy' is so not about rubber duckies. I almost sent it to the PJOPS story round before I realized I would have to explain the story myself!

Also a bop, less notable lyrics...

Canadian hottie Joée and his collaborators Intonation are a fave of @ohnoitisnathan, who's helpfully provided us with a flawless video!

I'm a stan, as it happens. After his dance era, he went all boyband-sounding towards the end of the 90s, so he's pretty much done everything I love!​
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Yeah that choice of synths and the chorus are both annoying, 3.5 all day. That's two of my lowest scores out now (Technotronic).

Invasion of the boybands! This is what happens when @iheartpoptarts takes over I guess, ddd.

Oh am I your favorite DJ? I'm not even a real DJ though, I just like music.

But hey might as well post this because I can.

She performed this on an episode of Ricki Lake that was about people who look like 'freaks'. The singer from Bloodhound Gang also appeared on this episode, as a judge (of a freak contest) rather than performing. I may still have it on VHS somewhere...