It's Britney Bitch! The Britney Spears Discography Rate - An 8.000 average! | Page 108 | The Popjustice Forum

It's Britney Bitch! The Britney Spears Discography Rate - An 8.000 average!

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Holly Something, May 24, 2021.


You're introducing someone to Britney for the first time. Which album do you play for them?

  1. ...Baby One More Time

  2. Oops!... I Did It Again

  3. Britney

  4. In The Zone

  5. Blackout

  6. Circus

  7. Femme Fatale

  8. Britney Jean

  9. Glory

  1. Heinous monstrosity, glad to see it go!

  2. How do I just KNOW that mine is probably one of them ddd
    Holly Something likes this.
  3. Speaking of 11s, have we lost any so far?
    Holly Something likes this.
  4. Not yet.
  5. Ready for the drama (and feeling safe about my 11 for once)
  6. Let's goooo...

    A long time coming I feel...


    120th Place
    (from Britney Jean)

    Average: 6.811


    High Scorers: 10 x 6 (@JMRGBY, @Remorque, @KingBruno, @eatyourself, @DJHazey, @GimmeWork)
    Low Scorer: 1 x 1 (@Babylon)
    My Score: 6

    Alien appears as the opening track from Britney's 8th album Britney Jean. The song was written by Britney along with William Orbit, Dan Traynor, Ana Diaz and Anthony Preston. It was produced by William Orbit and HyGrade. Despite no single release, the song charted at number 8 on the Bubbling Under chart of the Billboard Hot 100 (effectively in charting at number 108). It was included in the setlist for Britney: Piece Of Me in 2014 but was later cut in favour of Do Somethin'.

    My thoughts: Definitely one of the better songs on this album in theory, but the vocal splicing is too much and way too obvious. Even sections that are all Britney sound Frankenstein'd together in a bit of a crude manner. Also, the song should finish at 2:57 when it fades out, there's no need for another minute of it when nothing new happens aside from a couple of overly processed adlibs.
    @Christopher (8) I really don't care for this song, but I waited SO long for her to work with Orbit…

    @JMRGBY (10) This is a great album opener to be honest. Opening with Work Bitch would've made that song easier to skip though.

    @boombazookajoe (9) Not me coming for the very questionable vocal takes Britney and her team decided to use in a number of these songs and completely ignoring it on this song because I love it so much. The vocals are a non-serve but I love this song so much.

    @blaze_dave (8) I like this tune, the lyrics and William Orbit did well with the production. Not so much on Britney's vocals but still enjoyable.

    @Rantaro (7) Awful production glitch aside, this song is fine. I appreciate the lyrics behind it. Yeah the lyrics are probably the best bit of it.

    @livefrommelbs (7) Very hard to score this one. Has some amazing high points, and unforgivable low points too.

    @Ana Raquel (6) Like the verses, not the chorus.

    @stereosalt (6) This song is… fine. I feel like the army does too much with it. I feel like I remember some drama around the demo that leaked, and that sounding better? IDK. I read that there was a demo that leaked that was way worse but that could be something else.

    @cdd216 (8.25) I really, really like this song and think that under different circumstances it could have been a big hit for her. I wish she was serving Glory-era level vocals on this, but this performance feels a bit phoned in and over-processed.

    @daninternational (7) I feel like I might be among the high scorers for this album. It's basically a decent KP album. It wouldn't be a decent album for anyone teebs.

    @AstronautMikeDexter (7) I like it, but I feel like it’s missing something. It should be better than it is.

    @M24 (7.5) The best song in BJ after Perfume. It's relatively simple, but that pre-chorus is a thing of beauty.

    @WhenTheSunGoesDown (3) Hilariously unlistenable

    @Guyhawke! (8.5) Britney’s writing credits on ‘Britney Jean’ are as dubious as the vocals. On ‘Alien’, it’s at least believable that she had a hand in it as the lyrics about stars and feeling isolated bear her fingerprints. William Orbit’s finest days as a producer are behind him (‘Pure Shores’ this is not) but his signature electronic soundscape is a pleasantly deceptive way to start this dumpster fire of an album. Britney singing ‘I’m not alone’ and having Myah Marie echo ‘not alone, not alone’ is a prescient warning for the shitstorm to come.

    @Milotic (9.5) I just really love this song. However, the main Producer of the album keeps this from being a 10. HOW did they not catch that glitch? There's a reason he has no work credits after this album dddd Who even is that guy?

    @BreatheBox (7) there’s a nice song somewhere in there

    @lilylu (6) It's one of the few songs with worth on the album, but as much as I like William Orbit's work, this could just be... better than it is.

    @RMK (6.5) The vocal splicing is offensively bad, and these producers are paid too much money to be releasing this on her behalf.

  7. I definitely overscored this with an 8 thanks to me being exhausted and listening to it at past midnight at the time.
    Holly Something likes this.
  8. A single leaves us now...

    I'm not happy about this...


    119th Place
    (from Britney Jean)

    Average: 6.940


    High Scorers: 10 x 6 (@Sprockrooster, @Lucas, @maikos87, @daninternational, @Music Is Death, @Remorque)
    Low Scorer: 2 x 2 (@dylanaber, @Trouble in Paradise)
    My Score: 9.25

    Perfume appears as track 3 on the Britney Jean album, and was released as the album's second single on November 4th 2013. The song was written by Britney along with Sia Furler (yes that Sia) and Christopher Braide, with production handled by, Keith Harris and Christopher Braide. The music video ffor the song was directed by Joseph Kahn who also directed the videos for Stronger, Toxic and Womanizer. The song only charted at number 76 on the Billboard Hot 100, also making the top 100 in Australia and Canada, but did not chart in the UK. The "Perfume Mix" of the song was also included as a bonus track on the deluxe edition of Britney Jean.

    My thoughts: I love this! Potentially more because almost everything else on the album is garbage but I've always found it a beautiful song with a really emotive vocal from Britney. The simplicity of spraying your perfume so the other woman will know you exist is really passive aggressive but also quite sad. Anyway, the lack of success and the album that houses it will never put me off of it.
    @clowezra (4) Man I...really actively dislike this song. It's not unlistenable but I can't understand any justification in being a proper fan, either.

    @JMRGBY (7.5) I don’t think I ever listen to the album version but the Dreaming mix is gorgeous. I don't dislike it but it sounds fan edited, like they've just down some of the backing track.

    @boombazookajoe (7) These lyrics confuse the fuck out of me. So you are the current girlfriend, but you WANT her to smell your perfume on him when he's cheating on you? Even though you don't KNOW if he's cheating? Do you maybe just want to hope … he isn't cheating? I don't know. I think this song would make more sense if SHE was the other woman and she was hoping the actual girlfriend smells the perfume as a way to catch the guy, they break up, and you no longer need to be the other woman. But it's all a bit of a convoluted story. Anyway … the song is fine. This was a journey!

    @blaze_dave (9) A beautiful ballad from Britney and I like the production on this. It can be a bit jarring to hear her strain trying to hold the long notes, but not unpleasant and kinda reflects her pain. Great chorus. I also love the music video, beautifully shot.

    @Sprockrooster (10) I needed a few years to appreciate the beauty of this track You got here eventually though so it's all good.

    @Rantaro (8.5) The saving grace of this album. Yep!

    @maikos87 (10) Maybe I’m one of the few people that love this

    @livefrommelbs (8) Much like the rest of this campaign, Perfume is marred by what could have been.

    @Ana Raquel (5) An extra point for the iconic Cheiro de Quenga Remix

    @stereosalt (5) All points are for the vocals on the verses ONLY.

    @cdd216 (5) This might be the most over-hyped thing she's ever released? Conceptually, I find it completely bizarre - less "classic tale" and more Alex Forrest-like behavior. I don't actually mind the production, but something about the melody just doesn't click for me and I don't think this is her strongest vocal. Is it overhyped? I know she loves it.

    @daninternational (10) pretty

    @AstronautMikeDexter (6) It’s…fine? But why was it a single? Although, I guess if you think about it, what else could have been a single?

    @M24 (9.5) This will be done wrong for being on Britney Jean. For me, Perfume is one of her best songs from the 2010s.

    @An Insider (7) This could've been a lot better with less noisy production, but it's a cute track.

    @BeingNormal (6) The song itself is meh, but I love Brit (or Myah ?) emotive performance here I'm cautiously optimistic that this is actually Britney, with some backing here and there from Sia.

    @Guyhawke! (8.5) Britney’s voice is at its most natural here. She succeeds in conveying the emotion of a suspicious lover and turns in the strongest performance on the album. There’s a menacing subtext to Sia’s lyrics and the complexity of this is undercut by production that doesn’t have as strong a sense of what it is trying to achieve. The piano, strings and bubbling synth are nice ingredients, but the drums and crashing hi hat in the choruses sound cheap. The Dreaming Mix is more restrained but lacks the energy of the single mix, so neither version gets it right. There’s a good song in here somewhere.

    @Milotic (8) This gets a somewhat high score because I can tell it's actually Britney singing, which is an astounding achievement on this album.

    @Verandi (3.5) I don't care if she actually sings on this one. It's bad.

    @lilylu (9) I honestly think this is underrated. It's really pretty and sweet! I get why it wasn't a hit and why people might not love it, but on a personal level I've always liked this a lot.

  9. That means the last song standing from the Britney Jean album is... Work Bitch!

  10. Britney Jean nearly extinct

    I know Work Bitch is going to undeservingly sneak it’s way into the Top 50 because you tragic gays will stan anything with a house beat but let me light my vanilla candles and pray it’s elimination isn’t too far away.

    Femme Fatale needs a serious culling now.
  11. I don't like Sia much, but this song (and every song) is treated so badly for being from Benedict Jumberbatch
  12. Going back to an album that's been left alone for a while...

    There's a feature on it...


    (close enough)

    118th Place
    (Drop Dead) Beautiful feat. Sabi

    (from Femme Fatale)

    Average: 6.952


    High Scorers: 10 x 5 (@Sprockrooster, @DJHazey, @abael, @WhenTheSunGoesDown, @Milotic)
    Low Scorer: 1.5 x 1 (@Jonathan27)
    My Score: 5.25

    (Drop Dead) Beautiful appears as the 6th track on the Femme Fatale album and features singer Sabi (born Jenice Dena Portlock). The song was written by Jeremy Coleman, Joshua Coleman, Ester Dean, Mathieu Jomphe and Benjamin Levin, being produced by Benny Bianco, Ammo, JMike and Billboard.

    My thoughts: I think I've said before but for the most part Femme Fatale and Britney Jean are just albums full of noisy songs and massively over processed vocals. This song is exactly that, although there are semblances of melody to be found. Lyrics aren't good, and I couldn't comment on how she sounds because autotune is doing overtime here. Also, the feature is mostly just dumb.
    @boombazookajoe (9.5) It's the "steaming like a pot full of vegetables" for me. I don't care. This song is stupid and AMAZING.

    @blaze_dave (8.5) I love the beeping beats in this and glad they changed the lyrics from the demo. Obviously Sabi's rap is a highlight if this. Fun fact - This tune was used to promote a gay porno video… Of course it was.

    @Sprockrooster (10) I did not expect this to love this so much still. I was sure I was going to burn through the plays and overplay it fast. Yet that never happened, but the plays kept coming.

    @Rantaro (7) Remember when Sabi was (trying to be) a thing? No.

    @unnameable (6.5) “feeling so sick I think I caught the flu” is not an amusing lyric, post-COVID.

    @Ugly Beauty (7.5) remember when Sabi was everywhere? I literally haven't heard her on anything else ddd.

    @livefrommelbs (9) Bout time steamin' pots of vegetables had a club anthem to blanche their stems to.

    @chrisjche (7) I still laugh at how Sabi went on tour with her to just do her 20 seconds on stage every night… Was she at least the opening act or was it literally just those 20 seconds?

    @cdd216 (7) Bop, bop, bop... Sabi! SKIP.

    @daninternational (6) Just doesn't feel like a Britney song at all

    @M24 (5.5) This gets unfairly maligned because of the lyrics… I mean, who listens to a Britney song for good lyrics anyway? Plus, I'm sure there are raps out there with even worse lyrics, off the top of my mind I remember Kanye's line in Katy's E.T. remix "they calling me an alien a big headed astronaut(???) maybe it's because your boy Yeezy get ass a lot" O_O Gimme a steaming pot full of vegetables x1000 over that, at least it makes sense AND promotes good nutrition!!

    @WhenTheSunGoesDown (10) Vegetables! An incredibly dumb song. 10/10 Of course YOU would love this.

    @BeingNormal (6.5) Poor Sabi and ha steamed vegetables legacy

    @Guyhawke! (8.5) This song is proof that Britney is a method actor. She Stanislavskis her way through the vocal, delivering ‘your body looks so sick I think I caught the flu’ like she’s got a full-blown head cold. ‘(Drop Dead) Beautiful’ is the very definition of Basic Bop and I know I shouldn’t in good conscience score it this high, but it’s such a guilty pleasure. Daniel Day Lewis found out-acted.

    @Milotic (10) I really feel like this deserves a 10 because the pot full of vegetablessss line is so awful that it's iconic. Also, the rest of the song is great, and any song that objectifies men is a win in my book.

    @BreatheBox (3) ridiculously bad, but it’s not her fault

    @Verandi (9) A computer would have sounded more human than Brit Brit on this one.

  13. Time to lose the first 11 of the rate...

    Who's about to lose their fave...?


    117th Place
    Don't Keep Me Waiting

    (from Femme Fatale)

    Average: 6.953


    Top Scorer: 11 x 1 (@Filler)

    High Scorers: 10 x 7 (@AllGagaLike, @Ugly Beauty, @Runawaywithme, @Music Is Death, @daninternational, @abael, @eatyourself)
    Low Scorer: 0 x 1 (@Daniel_O)
    My Score: 4

    Don't Keep Me Waiting is the 16th track on the deluxe version of Britney's 7th album Femme Fatale. It was written by Michaela Shiloh, Thomas Lumpkins and Rodney "Darkchild" Jerkins, the latter of which also produced the song.

    My thoughts: This just isn't good. It sounds like someone had a half assed idea of Britney going in a rockier direction so they recorded this demo and then accidentally included it on an album where it sounds completely out of place. Not to be shady but it seems apt that the person who gave this song their 11 is literally called filler.
    @boombazookajoe (4.5) The only song from Femme Fatale that I skip. I don't want Britney to attempt rock. It doesn't suit her. (Her live cover of Jagged Little Pill aside.)

    @blaze_dave (7) Her British vocals make an appearance here on that middle 8. The song is OK to listen to with the chorus is the best.

    @Sprockrooster (8) Perfect closing track as it makes sure I want to spin the album again. Fuck Scary's drag, right?

    @Rantaro (5.5) I’ve...never been huge on this one.

    @daninternational (10) love the rock edge to this while not losing any of the dance side

    @AstronautMikeDexter (8.5) Definitely a different vibe for Britney but I like it!

    @M24 (3) I want to like this more than I do, because it's more pop rock in style and the middle-8 has so much sass. Yet the production in the chorus feels a tad too repetitive.

    @Guyhawke! (5.5) What a turd. The ‘what the hell, I’m standing outside/colder than a freezer’ line has to be the most insipid moment in a Britney song up to this point. It really just... isn't good.

    @Milotic (9) Just good fun.

    Handing over to the top scorer now to close us out:

    @Filler (11) Sounds like a Girls Aloud b-side. Yes that's a compliment. The biggest compliment I ever give. Fuck you Alyssa Edwards - Mama this is garbage.gif

  14. Wooohhh that felt good! 2 more songs below a 7 average which is wild considering we're not even in the top 100 yet. And who along with @Filler will lose their 11 before we get to the top 100? 2 of you are going to be seriously disappointed (especially because one of you gave it to a single)...
  15. Umm but Don’t Keep Me Waiting is one of the better songs off Femme Fatale?
  16. Don't Keep Me Waiting is a banger, y'all are whack.
  17. Where were you on the top scorers list then? Poor @Filler

    Suddenly not feeling quite as confident. Surely not though...?
  18. Perfume is probably the only song on Bertha Joyce that is entirely Britney, teebs. Genuinely gutted that it missed the top 100–I’ve always had a soft spot for it.
  19. Sabi sweetie im so sorry etc etc
    Verandi, M24 and Holly Something like this.
  20. I gave it 8.75, which is pretty high for me, thank you!

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