K-Popjustice Charts - December 2016 Edition + 1st GRAMAMA Awards - COMPLETE RESULTS

Oh My Zzzz.

 

And so the winner of the...

~2017 WILL BE MY YEAR AWARD~

is...




















OH MY GIRL

Voters:
@Squashua
@McQueer
@ajmkv
@Vesperly
@junglefish
@SloMover
@D is for Danger!
@Mikl C

BACK-TO-BACK WINS!!! KWEENS!!!

I sincerely hope our prayers for a very successful 2017 for our girls would be answered. I *need* them to join Twice, GFriend, BLACKPINK, Red Velvet, and Mamamoo in the Successful New Groups Camp. I will sacrifice Shaman Unnie for this wish.

These hunties are also wishing for a successful 2017 for Oh My Girl. Tell me your wish, kids!

Squashua talks about laws... no, thank you. I forgot about that life already, cyst. Kii:

They're getting higher up with every release so law of averages has the bets in their corner.

ajmkv shades WJSN (quelle surprise!) before awarding his vote to OMG:

Oooh, hard. Any one of these will probably see a lot of success. However, with WJSN's new beige single, I'll have to give this to
Oh My Girl

Vesperly begs on ha knees... you and I both, sis:

Please.

junglefish is pressed about A-ing's success, I see. Kii. I actually agree with you, cyst. Don't kill me!:

They deserve it! But please girls enough with the cheesy 90s/00s remakes. Go back to the CLOSERS, 1 Step 2 Steps and Windy Days.

SloMover explains why Oh My Girl are our new saviors:

They've yet to set a foot wrong (sorry, I don't know what this Aing business you speak of). They always deliver something totally unique that sets them apart from the rest of the pastel aegyo school girls that have infested the Kpop girl groups landscape.

And D is for Danger! is into perverts as well... birds of the same feather and all that. Kii!:

2017 will be the year OMG finally make it big. They've got the vocals, the looks, the talent, but most of all the music. They also have the "pervert trio" which consists of Seunghee (shock!), YooA, and Mimi!



Congrats, ladies! Again! Please accept your GRAMAMA statuette!



Oh My Girl when the pressed haters are even more pressed because of this win:

​

 

I love A~ing, but it's no CLOSER! That winter single (I know, technically it wasn't their single) on the other hand, was an atrocity...

 

If they want to do something in the same vein as A~ing for the next comeback (which they might do considering it's their bigger single with the public) I hope they just expand Mimi's reggaeton rap break and go with that sound. I'd like a wild mariachi/carnival vibe really but I've been asking all pop to do that & no one listens.

 

AND NOW...

IS THE TIME...

FOR ONE OF THE BIGGEST AWARDS...

I'M TALKING ABOUT...


















~MESS OF THE YEAR~


Our first Daesang!!! 2016 has been one hot mess and these ten nominees are probably the most representative of all those messes. I can't wait for you to know which mess won this award. Kii.

Let's meet the nominees...




















1. Taeyeon vs. Wiz Khalifa Mess
2. Tiffany Snapchat Mess
3. Tzuyu Mess
4. Soyul and Moon Hee Jun Surprise Marriage Announcement Mess
5. Park Geun Hye-Choi Soon Sil Mess
6. Idols Being Shitty Messes (Kangin, Kim Hyun Joong, Yoochun)
7. AOA Korean History Mess
8. Disbandment and Member Exits Mess
9. SNL Korea Sexual Harassment Mess
10. Army vs. EXO-L vs. The World Mess


















~8TH PLACE~
aka NO ONE VOTED FOR THEM KII


















Tzuyu Mess
Soyul and Moon Hee Jun Surprise Marriage Announcement Mess
Army vs. EXO-L vs. The World Mess

Voters:

None

Slice of Life: Poor its.




















~4TH PLACE~
QUADRUPLE TIE




















TAEYEON VS. WIZ KHALIFA MESS

Voters:
@Squashua

Squashua: Partly for being the most bizarre spat of all time - crossing borders oceans and continents to demonstrate that even a true G from the underground US rap game would still choose T-ara above all else. Taeyang wishes he knew how that felt.

Slice of Life: I still live for this only because it is so random and unexpected. It died an uneventful death but it brought me great laughs so good job, everyone involved!

















IDOLS EXPOSING THEIR SHITTY SELVES MESS

Voters:
@Penguin

Slice of Life: I HOPE THEY ALL ROT IN HELL TBH. YATH!




















SEOLHYUN AND JIMIN VS. KOREAN HISTORY MESS

Voters:
@ajmkv

ajmkv: Giving a new meaning to RIDICULOUS. SK, please.

Slice of Life: Yeah, Seolhyun and Jimin exposed their dumbness but to label them Japanese right-wing supporters and demand their heads is just... you're being a little extra, Korea sis.


















AND




















SNL KOREA MESS

Voters:
@Ceir

Ceir: It still makes me angry.

Slice of Life: Same, Ceir cyst. This is still so maddening. HOW DARE THEY DO THAT TO MY B1A4 BABIES!!! Sick assholes!


















~3RD PLACE~




















TIFFANY VS. KOREAN NETIZENS MESS

Voters:
@junglefish
@Mikl C

junglefish: When will your fav end their career with a single Snapchat?

Mikl C: Tiffany fucking up TWICE in two days like an absolute idiot

Slice of Life: This is, like, the most unfortunate case of career death. Over Snapchat? SIS PLEASE. I'm hoping Tiff bounces back but I won't hold my breath.


















~2ND PLACE~




















DISBANDMENT AND MEMBER EXITS MESS

Voters:
@ryan_riot92
@He
@Slice of Life
@Gintoki

ryan_riot92: All the other ones are pretty messy too but this one hits a little harder than the others (plus the other ones are kind of fun to poke fun at sometimes) … There were just too many wounds made in the hearts of K-Pop fans that it’s going to take some time to recover. The disbandment wave spread like wildfire this year and it was just awful that one day you’d be talking up your faves just to see them announce their disbandment the next. That and all the new groups to debut this year were complete piles except for a small chunk of them. It’s almost like the end of an era.

He: what the fuck at YG ruining 2ne1, and Cube doing the same to 4minute.

Neither deserved to die and they were just axed from existence, taking a lot of k-pop’s coolness with them.

Slice of Life: Yeah, although the other messes were super messy as well, this one affected me more emotionally. Losing my favourite girl group, 2NE1, is just... I need a moment. YG, YOU RAT, LET'S FIGHT!!!​

 

Ok but why is Tiffany looking like a cheap Race Queen in that picture? Is she about to join the Pocket Girls? The decay. Poor it.

 

CYST, THE LAUGH I LET OUT BECAUSE OF THIS!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The bigger gag is, I got this from a Koreaboo article... and that shitty website had the guts to tell me that this is one of Tiff's sexiest outfits! I can't.

 

A MESS.

 

And so the winner of the...

~MESS OF THE YEAR~

is...




















PARK GEUN HYE-CHOI SOON SIL (AKA SHAMAN UNNIE) MESS

Voters:
@send photo
@Aries
@McQueer
@ThighHighs
@PopZeitgeist
@Vesperly
@Lego
@SloMover
@Monkey0
@D is for Danger!

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!

What kind of meta scenario??? Shaman Unnie will be receiving a GRAMAMA statuette that looks just like her? I AM LIVING! #HaImpact

Anyway, I didn't expect this to win in such a landslide manner. Shaman Unnie... she did that.

What are your thoughts about this mess, my equally messy cystren?

send photo just can't:

How do you even compete with this?

Aries stans for the Shaman Unnie yath!:

Who can honestly say that their faves had such an immense influence over the entire running of a country? Rasputin stans are SHOOK.

McQueer is shook to ha core!:

Shaman unnie mess fucking wow

Vesperly wrote the subtitle for Shaman Unnie's upcoming biopic:

A true mess for the ages.

SloMover read the articles that I linked, I see. Good job, cyst. And yath at that detail!!!:

A downfall of a president all because of an abandoned iPad without a pass-lock... My favourite detail is that the president's clothes were designed and made by Choi Soon Sil's gigolo boyfriend.

Monkey0 is screaming for ha life!:

SHE SCAMMED THE WHOLE DAMN COUNTRY! THIS IS SOME ANCIENT IMPERIAL INTRIGUE MESS. This makes ALL K-dramas look like docu-series!

And finally D is for Danger! concludes this mess rather nicely:

None of the other messes are anywhere near the sheer craziness of this mess. We're talking about a mess on a national scale here! The others are trivial in comparison.



CONGRATULATIONS, SHAMAN UNNIE!!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. Oh and you too, Park Geun Hye. Please accept your GRAMAMA statuette!



Me right now, genuinely happy for my Unnie:

​

 

I will emit a loud piercing scream if ShamanUnnie also wins the Blessing of the Year award now. The official Ying/Yang priestess of Seoul.

 

This gif gives me so much life every time I see it! Congratulations on your win Shaman Unnie!!

 

SAME. That's why I abuse it so much.

Also this...



Thank you @junglefish for this. We need more K-pop fangirl reaction gifs!

 

And now, let's be serious for a while...

Because this one might hurt us all over again...

I'm talking about...


















~DISBANDMENT OF THE YEAR~


2016 has been very brutal when it comes to disbandment cases. We lost such legendary groups. Okay, some of these groups have not officially disbanded yet... but we all know its just a matter of time. Let's meet them one last time.... Kii.




















1. 2NE1
2. Rainbow
3. 4Minute
4. KARA
5. Secret


















~5TH PLACE~




















SECRET

Voters:
@Squashua

Squashua: Because i'll miss 4Minute, 2NE1 were sadly over ages ago, KARA weren't bothered anymore, Rainbow actually released something this year and Zinger is the most tragic stage name I've ever witnessed.

Slice of Life: Dddddd you're so shady, Squashua, cyst. But she's not Zinger anymore for a few years now. She goes by her true name Hana which is much less iconic, I admit.


















~4TH PLACE~




















KARA

Voters:
@send photo
@Monkey0

send photo: I expected my vote to go to 4minute for their stable release of good music before remembering how great KARA was in their heyday. My interest diminished when they migrated to J-pop (nn at me stanning J-pop and abandoning them once they started) and Nicole left. STEP is/was great though, right? My favourite member was alien queen Hara. I looked into her solo stuff and it was kind of tragic.

Monkey0: This one is personal...

IF YOU WANT A PRETTY, EVERYONE A PRETTY

Spoiler

As ride-or-die Kamila this one broke my heart. I was there from (almost, just skip critically acclaimed flopping The First Blooming) beginning. From hyper-cute breakthrough (y’all faves are just copying KARA) through SweeTune reinvention, conquering Japan to even accepting YoungJi as full member and let me tell you, what a wild ride it was! Walk to the top was hard and trying to stay there even harder. We almost lost them in 2011! It was our own “Britney in 2007”. When they arrived to Korea from Japan just after the news broke out and press went in I nearly died of heart attack.
But we came through! I’ll just mention Nicole and JiYoung’s departure, North Korea connection accusations and that moment on Star Golden Bell where SNSD were talking how huge and fancy their dorm is while Hara honestly said they need another chair in theirs because now one member always needs to stand! THE STRUGGLE WAS REALEST! It was all worth it though. MY girls got so much yens and we got brilliant bops for centuries to come!

Rock U

Pretty Girl

Honey

Wanna

Mister

Lupin

Jumping

STEP

Pandora

Damaged Lady

Mamma Mia!

Cupid

Jet Coaster Love

Go Go Summer

Winter Magic

Speed Up/ Girl’s Power

Electric Boy

IMPECCABLE!

BEST FUCKING FIVE

Spoiler

Slice of Life:



Monkey0, cyst, that was beautiful. I don't know what else to say, really.

I will always love Kara for their Sweetune bops and I'll support their solo endeavors. And no send photo, HARA'S CHOCO CHIP COOKIES IS ICONIC!!!


















~2ND PLACE~
TIE




















RAINBOW

Voters:
@Aries
@ryan_riot92
@junglefish
@Lego
@D is for Danger!

Aries: A dignified contrast to the messy demises of 2NE1 and 4minute.

ryan_riot92: In all honesty, I saw 2NE1’s disbandment coming from miles away. It just didn’t sink in until it was announced and official. My vote goes for RAINBOW. There was no bad blood in the end and all the girls went their separate ways on good terms. Probably the cleanest disbandment in the history of K-Pop. No scandal, no blame (okay I blame DSP for looking at them like “oh hey we still have this group … let’s give them a comeback I guess). I will always hold RAINBOW close to my heart and never forget their colorful auras!

junglefish: I couldn’t give two shits about Secret, 4Minute are vastly overrated and 2NE1’s disbandment was bound to happen so the battle is between two DSP groups (quelle surprise!) I vote for Rainbow just because of the wasted potential. Oh well, at least they gave us A, Mach and To Me…

D is for Danger!: This one hurts the most because out of all the groups that have disbanded this year, they had it the roughest. 7 years, 0 scandals, 0 lineup changes, yet always stuck in nugudom due to mismanagement. They were on the verge of a breakthrough during their A to Sweet Dream period, but they were shipped off to Japan instead of building on what they had already established in Korea. It would have taken them 2 years to finally make a Korean comeback after their failed Japanese venture, which is career suicide. What little hype they had was gone by then. One of the few groups where you can tell the members actually care for each other. Their split was amicable and not a mess like the others. Now Jaekyung can move on to become the Martha Stewart of Korea, Jisook can become the DIY queen, and Hyunyoung can build a fitness empire.

Slice of Life: I agree with everyone. Rainbow didn't deserve to die as flops but here we are. I'm just glad that the girls are friends in real life and will even go to goodbye vacation trip before they totally disband. THAT'S SO SWEET! I'm like TT!


















AND




















4MINUTE

Voters:
@McQueer
@ajmkv
@SloMover
@Deja-Boo
@Mikl C

McQueer: Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but the only reason I ever checked for 4minute was because of Hyuna. Like, sure they have brought the bops before but I never bought them as a collective. Gayoon and Sohyun are whatever. Jihyun is obviously useless and Jiyoon's voice is terribly aggravating so I'm glad Hyuna's finally free from the rest of this mess of a group.

ajmkv: NOOOOO I CAN'T CHOOSE, I loved Rainbow and 4minute sooooo much.
In terms of impact, though, I'm going to have to go with
4minute
because they disbanded after one underperforming single and completely unexpectedly, whereas all the others had been underperforming for years or hadn't released anything in a long time, and let's be honest, who was surprised that 2NE1 fizzled out?...

SloMover: This was a toss-up between 2NE1 and 4Minute but I'm going with 4Minute because I prefered their music. I hate that 4Minute died for Hyuna's solo career because honestly her solo music isn't very good.

Because I'm feeling extra cunty tonight, I'm gonna give you commentary on the rest nnnñnn
Rainbow might as well have disbanded in 2012 (Blaxx and Blackswan were cute but I could live without them)
Secret should've disbanded in whatever year they released their last good song Madonna
2NE1 were never my favourite but it's disappointing that they disbanded because I feel they never really reached their true artistic potential
KARA... Great Sweetune bops, beautiful Sweetune bops.

Deja-Boo: 2NE1 was a long time coming, and KARA was also expected, so it didn't hurt as much. Secret's last good song was in 2010 so who even cares?

Mikl C: Everyone saw 2ne1 coming but 4minute hurt more.

Slice of Life: This was the shock disbandment of the year for me. People always yapped that Hyuna cared so much for her 4Minute members to go full-on solo so it was rather shocking that the reverse happened. I stopped caring for Hyuna's solo career years ago so the fact that 4Minute died for that is insult to injury.​

 

And so the winner of the...

~DISBANDMENT OF THE YEAR~

is...







































2NE1

Voters:
@He
@Ceir
@ThighHighs
@Slice of Life
@PopZeitgeist
@Penguin
@Vesperly
@Gintoki

Yes, kids. I know. I know too well that 2NE1 was gonna die the moment that Bom scandal became such a big issue. And when Minzy left, it basically felt like the confirmation that 2NE1 is indeed about to get the ax. And yet when it was announced that the girls are officially disbanding, it still hurt like a bitch. I didn't cry, I'm way past that level of Blackjack-hood, but the pain I felt was still very real.

And now we're getting a goodbye single on the 21st. I'm not sure if I'm ready or not. I just know that I would listen to that song for a minimum of three years and still get hurt every time I hear it ddddddddd. Yes, I'm an emotional wreck. QUELLE SURPRISE!

So what did our voters say about this disbandment? Humor me, cystren!

He gets nostalgic... I'm like TT again:

I started loving 4minute with Crazy and then they were screwed over, but nothing hurt as having one of the top girl groups being paid dust for so long and mistreated until they were forced to disband. They were the second k-pop girls I ever listened to, and getting my life to I Am The Best in gay bars in Amsterdam is something i’ll never forget.

Thank you for the music, girls.

Ceir stans for the Philippines' National Treasure, Sandara Park:

As much as I could rag on YG’s issues with cultural appropriation and they’re general “fuck all” attitude when it comes to the Korean music scene. I’ve been in love with them since that first mini.

But let’s be real. YG doesn’t know how to manage shit and doesn’t really seem to understand how to take care of their artists. Big Bang had enough of a footing in Korea and Japan that they could find their own projects by the time YG grew too big and the…well…poor management began. 2NE1 weren’t so lucky. As soon as Minzy left I already figure this would happen.

Let Queen Dara rise!

ThighHighs enjoys messy things, I see:

If not just for the absolute MESS of it all. However, RIP Rainbow :'(.

And we'll end with Vesperly and ha anger towards YG. Same, cyst. SAME.:

I can’t think about this without transforming into a pillar of salt. What a MESS. I will fight YG in the street. I can already see people voting for them in this category as a disbandment they’re happy about. There will be blood.



Congrats (???), ladies. Please accept your GRAMAMA statuette and throw it at YG's troll face!

​

 

I miss being messy.

So let's get messy.

Our next category is...


















~WORST USE OF COMPANY MONEY~


YATH. This is one of my most favourite categories because y'all went hard on our nominees. Look, it's not that I support entertainment companies' tendency to be really cheap but really, the money used on these nominees could've been used for far more deserving undertakings.

Let's meet our nominees.




















1. I.O.I
2. Twice's Vocal Lessons
3. Apink's existence
4. Boys24
5. Tiffany's Dance AND Vocal Lessons


















~3RD PLACE~
TRIPLE TIE KII




















I.O.I

Voters:
@Aries
@ryan_riot92
@Vesperly

Aries: Me, on January 31st 2017



ryan_riot92: “Yeah let’s make a show, okay. Let’s make 101 girls compete to be in a group! Watch them struggle to get the chance to make their dreams come true BUT let’s make the group last for less then a year and just disband them!! OMG What A GREAT Idea!” At least most of the girls have been shoved added into their respective labels groups or are going to get a solo venture … I’m looking at you Chungha, you my gurl! Still, as much as I enjoyed the show … to have the group only release 3 tracks is kind of a buzzkill.

Vesperly: I was going to vote for Twice’s vocal lessons, but then I don’t think JYP is actually spending any money on those.

Slice of Life: I'm excited for January 31st, to be honest. I can't wait for the creepy uncle fans to lose their shit and wreak havoc!




















APINK

Voters:
@PopZeitgeist
@Penguin
@D is for Danger!

D is for Danger!: I'll take any opportunity to drag A Beige. I just don't get their appeal. Their music is the epitome of bland, beige and boring. They keep recycling the same sound and concepts. Thankfully they're kind of flopping these days, which might finally light a fire under their asses and get them to try something new. For now, I only care about their oral proclivities on Korean variety television. Stan A Beige's true talent of putting phallic objects in their mouths!

Slice of Life: Ddddd I think I have dragged them enough in this thread so let me be cute and just say that I love Eunji even if she's from Apink.


















AND




















TIFFANY'S DANCE AND VOCAL LESSONS

Voters:
@send photo
@SloMover
@Deja-Boo

send photo: bequiettiffany.gif



SloMover: I know IOI and Twice are gonna sweep this so I'm gonna go with Tiffany because I can never pass up an opportunity to be shady to anything SNSD related. I Just Wanna Dance is a bop though (the rest of the EP is overrated and is 6/10 at best, yes even the Nicola Roberts track bye)

Deja-Boo: Forget dance and singing lessons, what about history lessons. It kinda pained me that she released such a good body of work with her mini and then it all went down the drain with one scandal.

Slice of Life: I just hope she's rehearsing her singing and dancing while she's reflecting. That's all I'm gonna say.


















~2ND PLACE~




















BOYS24

Voters:
@Squashua
@ajmkv
@ThighHighs
@Lego
@Gintoki

Squashua: I'd have said Twice but I don't believe JYP ever actually spent any money on vocal lessons for them so this would be a Alyssa/Coco moment all over again. I read the blurb about Boys24, watched an episode, shrugged then continued with my life. We've got o.I.o now anyway.

ajmkv: That was a rough spot..

ThighHighs: Who even? What even? Why?

Lego: what was ever the point of this?

Slice of Life: Literally, NUGU??? A mess.​

 

This thread will be the end of me, I swear.

 

@send photo definitely deserves a GRAMAMA for Most Shady yet Appropriate GIF Usage for that one.

 

And so the winner of the...

~WORST USE OF COMPANY MONEY~

is...







































TWICE'S VOCAL LESSONS

Voters:
@McQueer
@He
@Ceir
@Slice of Life
@junglefish
@Monkey0

A very narrow win against BOYS24. Congrats, I guess? Please don't take it personally, Twice stans. We just really want Twice to improve their singing abilities.

And drag them every time they fail.

I'm really not a Twice hater. I love some of the girls --- Sana, in particular. All of the foreign members, teebs. I even watched their boring reality show just so I could learn new information about them. And I learned that Nayeon and Momo are gay for each other.

What about the other voters? What's in your mind, precious?

He has some orders for me that I won't follow. Kii. I'm kidding, cyst. I'll stop now.:

first: stap the IOI shade!

now, TWICE’s vocals are a disgrace. I love their singles so far, but their lack of vocals is so glaring , it’s almost as bad as their performance skills.

But I also kinda don’t want them to improve, ha!

And the short haired girl is annoying.

I love you, Ceir unnie, but no at that performance.:

Bless these girls. Just watch their performance of Me Gustas Tu……

junglefish gives us a detailed view of how he did his scores:

I.O.I : I don’t think YMC invested much money so they’re good.
A Pink’s existence : I stan Eunji so no.
Boys24 : Who What When? Irrelevant.
Tiffany : The anti-patriotic problematic queen’s year was shitty enough so I’ll cut her some slack.

And Monkey0... Lawd... he skulldragged the girls!:

Musical equivalent of STD.

Spoiler

Congrats (???), ladies! Please accept your GRAMAMA statuette and please don't get mad! We love you here, I promise. Well at least @D is for Danger! oppar does. Hehe.

​

 

*rises from my grave* Where can I view this.

 

The only thing Nayeon is gay for is Oh My Girl.