Where the fuck am I?
It's been so long, girls. Is this...could it be my beloved Lists & Charts, returned to me at long last? Can it have been an entire 18ish months since I completed the Ariana Grande Rate and left on a long sabbatical to find myself, serving Eat, Pray, Love teas?
Unfortunately, most of that sabbatical was spent in Random Thoughts. However I'm happy to say that the electroshock therapy seems to have mostly worked, and I am here, doctor's note in hand. I signed up for this rate last year knowing we would certainly have a myriad of epic alberms to rate. New Taylor and Katy, to be sure! Probably Ariana, right? And hell, Rihanna used to release an album every 3-4 weeks, she was sure to have a new record out by the end of 2017 right precious?!
Well...
Okay, so 2017 has been a little rough. Musically, politically, personally. But we are here, my dears. Hello! Let's celebrate that. Let's rate some shit.
But I hear your voices - barely, but I do hear them, if I decide to pay attention - asking, Laura, goddess, legend...what ARE we rating?
...
I'm glad you asked.
REPUTATION
1. ...Ready For It?
2. End Game (ft. Ed Sheeran and Future)
3. I Did Something Bad
4. Don't Blame Me
5. Delicate
6. Look What You Made Me Do
7. So It Goes...
8. Gorgeous
9. Getaway Car
10. King of My Heart
11. Dancing with Our Hands Tied
12. Dress
13. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
14. Call It What You Want
15. New Year's Day
Full Album: Spotify
WITNESS
1. Witness
2. Hey Hey Hey
3. Roulette
4. Swish Swish (ft. Nicki Minaj)
5. Déjà Vu
6. Power
7. Mind Maze
8. Miss You More
9. Chained to the Rhythm (ft. Skip Marley)
10. Tsunami
11. Bon Appétit (ft. Migos)
12. Bigger Than Me
13. Save as Draft
14. Pendulum
15. Into Me You See
16. Dance with the Devil
17. Act My Age
Full Standard Album: Spotify
Yeah, those two were givens. But hyieux else?
MELODRAMA
1. Green Light
2. Sober
3. Homemade Dynamite
4. The Louvre
5. Liability
6. Hard Feelings/Loveless
7. Sober II (Melodrama)
8. Writer in the Dark
9. Supercut
10. Liability (Reprise)
11. Perfect Places
Full Album: Spotify
RAINBOW
1. Bastards
2. Let 'Em Talk (ft. Eagles of Death Metal)
3. Woman (ft. The Dap-Kings Horns)
4. Hymn
5. Praying
6. Learn to Let Go
7. Finding You
8. Rainbow
9. Hunt You Down
10. Boogie Feet (ft. Eagles of Death Metal)
11. Boots
12. Old Flames (Can't Hold a Candle to You) (ft. Dolly Parton)
13. Godzilla
14. Spaceship
15. Emotional
Full Standard Album: Spotify
MEANING OF LIFE
1. A Minute (Intro)
2. Love So Soft
3. Heat
4. Meaning of Life
5. Move You
6. Whole Lotta Woman
7. Medicine
8. Cruel
9. Didn't I
10. Would You Call That Love
11. I Don't Think About You
12. Slow Dance
13. Don't You Pretend
14. Go High
Full Album: Spotify
BEAUTIFUL TRAUMA
1. Beautiful Trauma
2. Revenge (ft. Eminem)
3. Whatever You Want
4. What About Us
5. But We Lost It
6. Barbies
7. Where We Go
8. For Now
9. Secrets
10. Better Life
11. I Am Here
12. Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken
13. You Get My Love
Full Album: Spotify
And though we didn't get a full album from ha...
1. The Cure
Well, that's it! That's all of 'em, happy rating every-
Wait.
Wait.
Anyone smell that?
Could that be the sweet, sweet smell of...
...success?
Not Rita!
1. Your Song
2. Anywhere
And shit, she brought guests. Specifically, solo female lead artist guests (no features! No DJs!) who had top tens or longstanding chart hits this year.
Camila Cabello - Havana (ft. Young Thug)
Cardi B - Bodak Yellow
Demi Lovato - Sorry Not Sorry
Dua Lipa - New Rules
Halsey - Now Or Never
Julia Michaels - Issues
Miley Cyrus - Malibu
See what happens? When you leave the door unlocked?
THE RULES:
1. Rate every song from 1-10. Half-marks allowed but chill with that 3.14159 nonsense.
2. You may give one song an 11. Not one song per album. One song of the entire rate. The one you really want to signal boost as your absolute fucking favorite. And no, I don't care if SOME OF YOU are hardcore stans for both, say, Gaga and Dua Lipa. You only got one, like Frou Frou said.
3. You may change only one score after you submit your votes. This is a rule that @Reputation and Joanne Fan implemented that I am quite fond of. (When will ha impact cease?) Once your scores are in, they're locked. If you reconsider, you may have one change on one single song. Vote wisely.
4. Don't. Fucking. Troll. I can't say it enough. Don't do it. I've even taken note of people who have made jokes about doing it. It ruins the fun for everyone. It's not fun for me to have to confront you about it. It's not fun for the thread when the scores come out. It's not fun for you to waste your time. Just skip it. Be fair and don't be a prick. I'm watching.
VOTING CLOSES DECEMBER 29th.
See you then...
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