Homophobia.
I’m disappointed in you home of sexuals. At #42, we say goodbye to Holland’s “I’m Not Afraid.” Holland, born Go Tae Seop, is mostly known for being the first (and only) openly gay K-Pop Idol. He even named his stage name after Holland, the first country to legalize gay marriage. And while Holland is an independent artist with no major company backing or support, his debut single, “Neverland” had over 1 million views in its’ first 24 hours. Later that year, he released this, the aptly titled “I’m Not Afraid.” I’m Not Afraid was written by Nassun, Holland, and Taemin (not that Taemin), and produced by Dalgui.
“I’m Not Afraid” is pretty self explanatory. Over the repeated refrain “I’m not afraid anymore / I’m not afraid anymore,” Holland sings of a love that he’s no longer ashamed to admit and speak about out loud. It doesn’t say a lot (seriously, there are barely any lyrics to this song), but it’s frankness and straight-forwardedness in an industry should be commended, even if it’s a bit simplistic.
Holland has certainly faced his challenges being an out Idol in an unfortunately homophobic industry. The budget is non-existent. He certainly isn’t working with God tier writers or producers. He’s faced tons of discrimination. But damn it, he’s trying his hardest! I’m not generally the type of person that thinks someone should be awarded simply for “being gay,” but in this case, I do give him more leeway simply for existing in a world that is clearly not making it easy on him.
Most of his music? It’s fine. It doesn’t gag me quite in the way I want, but it’s certainly pleasant enough. His production is usually glittery synthy goodness, which I can appreciate. Vocally? He kind of make Troye sound like Ariana (the range is certainly … a limitation), but never pushes it beyond his own capabilities, so it’s not too jarring.
In 2019, Holland released his EP of the same name, and I noticed a track right after this called “I’m So Afraid.” It acts as a really interesting counterpart. In fact, the song starts with a simple piano motif and the exact same melody as the verses of “I’m Not Afraid,” only to turn into a chopped and screwed chorus repeating “I’m So Afraid.” Kind of a ballsy switch up on his song, tbh.
The video is fairly simple, but it shows Holland friends partying it up at a house party, with ample opportunity for Holland to make out with some stud. Good for her, both for making out with a stud, AND continuing to depict gay love in his music videos.
While I definitely give him a pass for some of his shortcomings, some of you – did not. RUNAWAY drags: ”the sentiment of this song is nice, but his vocals are just so poor it totally fails at making any impact….” I won’t disagree and say that I personally wish I was more impacted by listening to the song, so I get that. KimLippington made me spit out my coffee with laughter when I first got their commentary: ”He’s aspirational in a sense that, I too am very gay with no talent for singing.” Fucking BYE! MmmDani gets the reason people like this, even if he himself doesn’t care for it too much: ”Incredibly inoffensive, ultimately uninteresting… I suspect that this is a widely beloved and powerful song because of the context/video, but I still don’t think the song itself is on the same level as a lot of others in this rate.”
Token straight Salami has no time for this gay nonsense: ”I can't work it out, is he afraid anymore? Way too repetitive.” I screamed. I love you, Salami.
A few others commented on the production, which really is quite dreamy and enjoyable. Glitterizer considers a deeper dive: ”every song of his that i have listened to has been a sparkly synthfest, maybe i should stan.” Maybe you should! And chrisjche recognizes it’s shortcomings while still enjoying: ”I wish there was a bit more to the chorus but I enjoy the production.”
Christopher sees this going harder with a better vocalist: ”I could tell in the bridge we were building to a big chorus. While I wish it had more lyrical diversity, I’m very pleased with the contrast from the verses. The vocals are definitely serviceable, though I feel this could have really gone off with a different singer? But having read up on Holland’s story…we have no choice but to stan. #harling”
But you know who does get it? ohnostalgia gets it. ”KPJC 2018 girlies know.” Oh I wish I was there for those early days.
Holland has had a few good tunes come out recently, that you should check out if he piques your interest at all. His most recent, “NUMBER BOY,” features ZB1 heartthrob and my husband Kim Ji Woong in the MV, and before that, he released a beautiful OST for the terrible BL that he starred in called Ocean like me. (Seriously, it’s bad, don’t watch it – he’s not much of an actor either ffff, but the song is great!)
Viewing Material
(This MV is rated 19 LMFAO)
Next elimination: We round out our bottom 10. Who doesn't deserve to make it to Top 40?