Let's Go On A Little Joyride ★✩✮ The Tinashe Discography Rate - THE WINNER IS...

Kuhleezi

Kuhleezi

#49 (tie)
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Avg: 7.647
Highest: 10x4 (@Andy French; @constantino; @Serg.; @phily693)

Lowest: 2.5x1 (@Kuhleezi)

My Vote: 2.5

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: The sampled intro, announcing great things to come…


…and then it all goes down in flames. You can tell me when it’s over (not soon enough). The high was definitely not worth the pain, the pain of sitting through this, because frankly. Where. Is. It.


My enduring reign of terror seemingly won’t ever let up. I’m quite envisioning myself as Queen Daenerys and the 10-givers as pressed and distressed Varys/Tyrion when my illustrious alter ego lets the Tarlys be Drogon’s marshmallows. The ending result will end up being the same: as much as you may seem outraged by this being dealt with in such an unceremonious way, by next week nobody will care/remember anymore.


Back to the song. I hate it. The beginning is promising, the sample introduces something new and fresh in the mixtape and the first verse with the guitar tricks you into thinking the song could straight up explode. But then the hook is one of her most insipid and uninspired, the second verse is meh, and afterwards…


…the drop…


…


Tinashe’s worst moment. Even worse than whatever’s been happening to her career since 2015. It’s not just standard ugly. It’s making you want to move to another galaxy after tearing apart every organ involved in the activity of hearing ugly. It’s terrible. It’s shit. It’s not a sound that’s worthy of coming out of a Tinashe song, let alone an exciting and sensible direction for her. I get it T, you’re a big Britney stan, ok. But was it necessary to gun even for her questionable dubstep phase? I’m sure everybody here would’ve forgiven it.


ThisIsRogue ehm ehm... Posh Spears (9) is another member of the masochistic squad: “Poor my ears at 3:09, but until then I’m grooving viciously”. Stream Disco Tits on Spotify, out now (if you happen to find it, that is). Touchofmyhand (7.5) too can’t stand that part, thus showing they have a minimum of self-respect left: “this is screwed up by the unnecessary outro”. Still 5 points too high. But then again, I have bigger problems at hand, like phily789 (10): “I love this so much. It's got pop flowing through its veins but it's not too sappy, it still sounds cool. What a chorus! Never been a huge fan of the abrupt ending.” WHY WOULD YOU AWARD A PERFECT SCORE IF YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE PARTS OF THE SONG. At least you did address the elephant in the room. Unlike Andy French (10): “The Daughter sample is inspired and magnificent. Indie queen!” Yeah, I know that. But I’ve been. WANTING. NEEDING. WAITING. FOR YOU. TO JUSTIFY THAT DROP.


TRAVVV (8) is the only one paying attention to the lyrics: “"Sexy little figure with a curl in my hair…” - have always had a soft spot for this track, probably because I love this line.” Alright. Back to the awful drop. nikkysan (5) is serving the good old capital-T T: “Oh T what were you thinking with that wall of noise at the end? It's bloody dreadful. The song before that is nice, but the last minute does knock off a few points for me sadly.” Preach. constantino (10), on the other hand, not only awards this that insulting score, but also adds salt to the wound: “My indie-ass still can’t comprehend that Tinashe is a Daughter stan. I *would* welcome her to HipsterJustice but our faves actually get albums out so…” Eat dragonglass. Last but not least, the shady, shady AshleyKerwin (6): “I think this could’ve been a real hit in like 2008.” I hollered.



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Kuhleezi

Kuhleezi

Let's get rid of another Reverie track shall we?























#49 (tie)
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Давай laziness!
Avg: 7.647
Highest: 10x3 (@constantino; @Serg.; @ThisIsRogue)

Lowest: 5x3 (@phily693; @2014; @Kuhleezi)

My Vote: 5

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: The Phantom of the Opera cameo


Poor Reverie and its title track. I don’t think it’s that bad. It’s just kinda messy. And it’s covered with that dusty patina of melodrama that bogs down the better half of the mixtape. There’s a way to do that right, and in the haunting possessed bridge she achieves just that, but I don’t feel it particularly works for the rest of the track.


Let’s talk about lyrics. The song is peak baby Wokenashe: we’re all living in a dream-like state, where lines are blurred and truth is held captive by the few. Aquarius’s title track is not that far off. Particular highlight is the line “What happened to our blue skies?”, signalling Tinashe’s first flirtations with weather imagery (particularly stormy weather), so recurrent throughout her discography since and reaching its peak on Nightride. Not bad for a track that’s really not that much.


In fact, you didn’t waste too much time thinking about this either. phily913 (5) feels it didn’t leave up to the expectations: “I was never a huge fan of this, especially seeing as the mixtape was named after it, I feel that it's a bit of a letdown.” More often than not title tracks aren’t really that great but you didn’t hear that from me.


I feel like I could use some goodwill towards constantino (10) after today’s reveals: “WHEW. C’mon PRODUCTION. The twinkling synths are giving me FKA Twigs and Kelela teas...what great company to keep, eh?” What a trifecta of mega talented women you have right there! I almost forgive you for the 10 to Another Me. Almost.

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Kuhleezi

Kuhleezi

Before we get back to eliminations...




...Happy 5th Birthday Reverie!!!
kHyUemF.jpg


I may not be your biggest supporter, still I appreciate you and think you are a good mixtape (although definitely not her best). I feel a bit bad that you're already down to three songs, but I'm glad at least they're the best three songs and they deserve to make it further than Top 50.


Stargazing
Come When I Call
Ecstasy


How far will they go?​
 
Kuhleezi

Kuhleezi

Now let's go back to the last part of our 3-way tie


#49 (tie)
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Avg: 7.647
Highest: 10x1 (@constantino)

Lowest: 5x1 (@AshleyKerwin)

My Vote: 9

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: Plinky plonky piano 1.0


Sigh. This song is so magical. Tugged near the end of In Case We Die, it’s easy to see this being overlooked. Still, it’s a damn pity. I really dig this softer side to Tinashe, and the fact she doesn’t show it that much only enhances my appreciation.


The chorus literally soars. It really makes you feel like you’re taking off from this planet and floating in the outer space. Yeah, it’s a bit juvenile, but that doesn’t exclude the fact it’s one of the best tracks in the mixtape and additional proof she was never playing around, not even day one. Also, that piano does things to me I can’t even explain. If she suddenly decided to release an all-instrumental album of just piano lines like this and those from Dreams Are Real and Touch Pass I’d stan the shit out of it. I’m not joking.


TRAVVV (6) is serving half-baked enthusiasm: “She better show us what an experimental queen she is on her debut mixtape.” Or are you one of those people that mean “experimental” in a shady, back-handed compliment sort of way? On to phily905 (7), stanning the best decade ever: “It's quite 90s in the chorus but the verses are weak.” It birthed ME! (as well as Tinashe) so you better believe it honey! Need more proof of that? Another iconic 90s babe, constantino (10), coming with that top-notch flawless opinion! “The piano is such a subtle touch, but it really elevates this for me. Take me to your space lair, sis.” Yes. YES. To all this. I’m welling up.



Coming up next, my first 10 to leave. I'm not ready.​
 
Kuhleezi

Kuhleezi

#48
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Avg: 7.676
Highest: 10x4 (@TRAVVV; @lemonsqueezyy; @Andy French; @Kuhleezi)

Lowest: 5x2 (@phily693; @constantino)

My Vote: 10

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: The cheese


What’s there not to love in this mesmerizing track? You have, in order: the ridiculous, out of nowhere operatic intro, the borrowed from 1993 “Anniversary” by R&B-group Tony! Toni! Toné! drum pattern, the chill first verse, the flooring chorus, the second verse going into that soaring pre-chorus, the final chorus that, although repeated ad-nauseam, you can’t ever get tired of.


To top it all off, loads and loads of fine Stilton cheese. It just works so well here. Her voice is perfect for a cheesy song like this. I dare say it’s one of her campest songs to date, and I’m so here for many, many more to come in the future. Wave that rainbow flag high and proud queen! You know, I’m Selfish isn’t the only time she addresses a female love interest…


Back to our song. I can’t believe it’s found here, rotting in the low 40s. All of us 10-givers voted early, so this song was off to a goodish start. But when later votes came in it free-fell from #29 to #45 to current #48. How do you feel about doing that to this camp beauty that is in my personal Black Water Top 3?


phily666 (5) is WRONG: “It's a bit too easy listening/lounge music.” You know you're wrong. So fucking wrong. You're so damn wrong. You did me wrong. And constantino (5) does it again, and he does it and he does it again: “Eh, this does nothing for me. It’s not bad or anything, it’s just indulgent and generic by her standards. It’s so...anonymous.” I was starting to get closer to you after today’s elimination, but after that, eat dragonglass (2).


TRAVVV (10) deserves a new paragraph, far from those “opinions”: “Oooh I always forget about this one! Gives me TLC/Diggin On You summer pool vibes. This is actually the second Tina track I ever heard (after 2 On) and was impressed that she could A) actually sing and B) clearly stanned the 90s.” The fact you listened to Just A Taste before everything else is so random and so cute, I wish it had happened to me as well. I don’t remember the second Tinashe song I heard, it was probably All Hands On Deck though. Boring, I know. This fact. Not the song. Ok I dragged this write-up enough. Time to close it off. And say farewell to Just A Taste.


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TRAVVV

TRAVVV

Kuhleezi said:
TRAVVV (10) deserves a new paragraph, far from those “opinions”: “Oooh I always forget about this one! Gives me TLC/Diggin On You summer pool vibes. This is actually the second Tina track I ever heard (after 2 On) and was impressed that she could A) actually sing and B) clearly stanned the 90s.” The fact you listened to Just A Taste before everything else is so random and so cute, I wish it had happened to me as well. I don’t remember the second Tinashe song I heard, it was probably All Hands On Deck though. Boring, I know. This fact. Not the song. Ok I dragged this write-up enough. Time to close it off. And say farewell to Just A Taste.​
Click to expand...
It really was! I loved 2 On the moment I heard it, then went to her soundcloud and randomly chose this track to play. I playlist it every summer! Shame to see it leave so early.
 
Mr Blonde

Mr Blonde

Kuhleezi said:
Before we get back to eliminations...




...Happy 5th Birthday Reverie!!!
kHyUemF.jpg


I may not be your biggest supporter, still I appreciate you and think you are a good mixtape (although definitely not her best). I feel a bit bad that you're already down to three songs, but I'm glad at least they're the best three songs and they deserve to make it further than Top 50.


Stargazing
Come When I Call
Ecstasy


How far will they go?​
Click to expand...

These 3 are some of her best songs.
 
Kuhleezi

Kuhleezi

#46 (tie)
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Avg: 7.706
Highest: 9x2 (@Andy French; @phily693)

Lowest: 6.5x1 (@2014)

My Vote: 7.5

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: “So every time you do wrong I brace myself for the blame”


With pretty much every vote ranging from 7 to 8, we all agreed this song is sort of cute, but inoffensive. Kind of a glorified interlude. It gets away with it with ease, as the rest of the tracks on Black Water are not that much longer than it. As with most of the mixtape though, this song hooks me every single time. It’s a sound that perfectly mixes her smoother side with her edgier one. What can I say? Another inductee in the “I wish this song was longer” prestigious club. Needless to say, Tinashe is a regular.


Oh, and did you know this little song is Tinashe’s first collaboration with none other than Ms Devonté Hynes? As with the best things in life, it’s completely random and odd but I like that. They’d go on to work together once or twice more after this, still, I feel Tinashe is in a similar situation to Florence re: Dev. I just wish they worked with him way more, and I feel they haven’t really brought the best in each other quite yet and I’m sure they could.


Did I actually manage to bring up Florence in here? It’s not just my own wild imagination? I’m so proud. Sniff.


You clocked Devonté Knowles' touch immediately. So proud of you x To phily805 (9) “there's something very 80s about this and I love it. If it was slightly longer (about another minute or so) it'd probably get a 10 from me.” The hook-up life is so hard sometimes, I know! AshleyKerwin (7) tries to cater to the WHERE R DA 80PZ THO? crowd: “I love the 80’s vibes on this.” The 90s are still better. constantino (8) makes me stan for ha once again: “The falsetto hooks in the chorus are among the most memorable moments on the mixtape; this would be a 10 if she had fleshed it out a bit more.” When you get it right you get it SO RIGHT.

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Kuhleezi

Kuhleezi

#46 (tie)
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Avg: 7.706
Highest: 10x2 (@lemonsqueezyy; @Touchofmyhand)

Lowest: 4x1 (@Serg.)

My Vote: 7

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: Those melismas. Beyoncé wheů?


Mama, I feel I underscored a track. Again. But then again, I would’ve probably upped my score from a 7 to an 8 only, it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. But then again, in the grand scheme of things it would’ve broken the tie and passed over Fugitive at the very least, so it did actually matter. Why does life have to be so difficult?


This song is a charm. It’s extra in a way that only Tinashe can make so endearingly cute. It’s not a flood of hooks like she’d spoil us with on later releases, but those that are there are great. It’s unpolished, it could do with different vocal production, but in the end there’s no denying it’s a solid bop. It kind of drags towards the end and that reminds me why I didn’t award a higher score. Maybe I did the right thing after all…


Not for y’all apparently. What can I say? Once a rate villain, always a rate villain. phily883 (8.5) is all about the timeless bops: “This is 5 years old and still sounds cool, you can hear that it's less polished but that's not an issue.” I mean, 5 years is not that much all things considered isn’t it? TRAVVV (8) doesn’t care, TRAVVV loves it: “I’ve always loved this track, not sure why - I just find the chorus so bouncy yet so menacing.” Not to get all stalkery and stuff, but… you actually are in LA right? You better bounce bounce. constantino (8) wants in in the fun as well: “I love the production, so luscious and whimsical. Take me there, sis.” I’m ready to jump on the first plane and leave for LA, you? If TRAVVV doesn’t accom we can always camp outside Tinashe’s mansion. They must have gifted her the one in Slumber Party out of sheer talent, right?


nikkysan (9) praises enthusiastically: “That chorus is so infectious, the feeling that she's slipping further away from her conscious and towards "her high" is executed very well here.“ while AshleyKerwin (7) compares it to another gem: “Extremely similar to The Last Night on Earth.” (but it's worse). Andy French (9) brings up absolute royalty: “The Sade teas I get from this though! I just wish it sounded a bit “fuller”.” We aren’t worthy of the sole presence of her name among us. We are NOT worthy. Final stage for Touchofmyhand (10), even though we aren’t exactly on the same page on this one: “Lush, underrated and very well made. The song that sound the least bootleg-ish from the album along with this feeling. Makes me want to give a lap dance.” I’m saving myself for the right man thank you. Or Vulnerable.

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Kuhleezi

Kuhleezi

#45​
7e301d9a-9777-4cc0-a651-9bd0a474bcf9

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Avg: 7.735
Highest: 10x2 (@TRAVVV; @WarmBlood11)

Lowest: 5x1 (moi, ah ah)

My Vote: 5

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: “Fuck your opinion!”


This shouldn’t be in Black Water’s Top 5. This shouldn’t have outlasted Middle of Nowhere. This shouldn’t have outlasted Just a Taste. Hell, this shouldn’t be anywhere near bothering Top 40.


Stunt is the only misstep in Black Water. It’s kind of a bop, but it’s stale, it’s tired, and it doesn’t even bop that much after all. As with Another Me, the premises are all excellent: the opening keys, the heavily filtered high-pitched, sublime “Fuck your opinion!”, the first verse rolling so well. What really lets me down is the chorus, which is not something I’m used to saying in a Tinashe song. It doesn’t take off the way it should and that’s the tea.


phily121 (8.5) asks the important questions: “Am I the only one wondering why this isn't named "Switch It Up"?” Yes, you are. constantino (9) is the only other person to muster up something to say about this track. And does so by getting on my nerves, once again: “BOP! If only she could switch it up by actually releasing another album? Just a thought.” This is your last warning! You know I give you life! If you try this shit again, you gon lose your wife!

Not a swarm of opinions for this but we're getting close to losing some heavy-hitters so hold on to your wigs.



Just stumbled upon this and could not ignore it.


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Kuhleezi

Kuhleezi

#43 (tie)
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Avg: 7.765
Highest: 10x3 (@nikkysan; @Mr Blonde; @constantino)

Lowest: 2.5x1 (@TRAVVV)

My Vote: 4

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: the fact she tried



‘Twas fucking time, to be quite honest.


I can imagine Jujubee’s -UNT confessional on Tyra applying to Tinashe in this case, just replace the ugly shoes with this song. Like, I appreciate the effort. I appreciate the sentiment. I appreciate every last drop of drama this is soaked into. But In Case We Dienashe quite literally doesn’t have the range for this type of song. Not as a vocalist. Not as a songwriter. Not as a producer.


Her vocals are unbearably shrill. Her voice reaches the sensational heights we all know about only from Black Water onwards, I get that, still there are some tracks on her first two mixtapes where her performance is totally fine because it plays to her strengths. This is not the case. It takes things way too far, and in 2012 she lacked the power and depth to sustain a track like this without sounding shrill. Which she inevitably does.


The songwriting is very poor. There’s no crescendo, no breathing moment, it’s all a 100-mph rush from beginning to end, which inevitably gets tiring if there’s no variation. And the production really doesn’t help matters: rather than complimenting the hooks, it just buries them under yet another heavy layer.


I like that Tinashe tried though. This song is all her doing, and even though it’s not that good, I’m sure if she tried something like this now that she’s grown so much under every aspect she’d slаy the whole house down.


*Warning Alert* I won’t #BeKind with your alarmingly positive commentary. What better way to start than constantino’s (10) latest (and last) betrayal? “Well clearly she didn’t try hard enough because we are still nowhere near getting Joyride. This track gives me some serious late-90s-into-early-00s teas and I am HERE for every last drop.” I want to announce to everybody here, my darling constantino, that I’m gonna divorce the shit out of you. Oh yeah. You can bet your trifling ass I’m gonna hire the best lawyer in town and I’m gonna get the house, the cats AND alimony. I’m gonna make the whole world see how filthy wrong and fake you are for using that poor excuse of a “joke” repeatedly. Whose side are you on, phily515 (8.5)? “You could hear the pop sound seeping through here more so than most other songs on the mixtape, it's delicious!” Oh well, time to find an ally in nikkysan (10). Maybe not. “Should I give this a 10? Fuck it, I am. After nearly falling asleep with Boss, the momentum is brought roaring back with this monster of a track. It borders on being overproduced (there's this weird synth buried under the rest of the production that probably didn't need to be there) but man it's what you need heading into the back half of the mixtape. And those vocals, serve it girl!” nooooooooooooo.


TRAVVV (2.5) would very much like to be excluded from this narrative: “This one gets a bit shouty for me. Could certainly do without it.” Pretty much. Another one on the way to good taste is AshleyKerwin (6). Kinda. “I like the urgency in her voice on these tracks.” I don’t. For Posh Spears (9) this song is “a bit all over the place but dang this goes off”. Like fish. And to end things in an orderly manner, Touchofmyhand (9.5): “I love how urgent this is. With some polishing it could be a 10.” Ok but more like a 7.5.

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