Let's Go On A Little Joyride ★✩✮ The Tinashe Discography Rate - THE WINNER IS...

I want to announce to everybody here, my darling constantino, that I’m gonna divorce the shit out of you. Oh yeah. You can bet your trifling ass I’m gonna hire the best lawyer in town and I’m gonna get the house, the cats AND alimony. I’m gonna make the whole world see how filthy wrong and fake you are for using that poor excuse of a “joke” repeatedly.

Darling, u okay?
 
Darling, u okay?
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#43 (tie)
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Low-key so proud of this cover
Avg: 7.765

Highest: 10x2 (@ohdenny; @Andy French)

Lowest: 4x1 (@phily693)

My Vote: 9

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for:
latest



Heartbroken. Nightride’s domination had to come to a halt at some point but it feels too soon still. That being said, placing almost entirely in Top 40? We love a solid bulletproof album!


I adore Nightride. Its quality speaks for itself. I can’t imagine listening to it and being left cold, or not acknowledge its excellence in utter awe, or sitting still without shaking your buss as awkwardly as possible. You Don’t Know Me is not a stand-out, mind, but it’s undeniably great even though it’s surrounded by slightly better tracks. It sounds so slick and smooth and sexy. It’s exactly the sound that Tinashe channels best. Just, gorgeous. Don’t even get me started on the chorus. Her delivery is insane, and the way the production rolls and uncurls and unravels with those background vocals… yes gawd!


For anyone wondering, the reversed part is just the pre-chorus played backwards.



Crazy how different it sounds right?


This shouldn’t have been the first track off Nightride to leave but I’ll keep this unpopular opinion til the right moment. Now let’s head to your (questionable) opinions. First off, lowest-scorer phily000 (4): “This has potential and sadly it's buried under a lot of odd, trippy production.” And that’s a bad thing because? TRAVVV (6) doesn’t think too much of it either: “Another lovely track, but I always find myself skipping it.” Your (hearing) loss. And we finish with constantino (8), whose commentary I could’ve predicted from miles away: “You’re right, sis, I don’t know you. But something tells me you releasing Joyride would help me to get to know you a little better, no? Let’s give that a try.” You’re lucky your score is somewhat decent otherwise…

 
Reverie is a little patchy, but what's left is some of the best material from her discography. I think it has been done fittingly so far.


Only three left? What!?!?


These 3 are some of her best songs.
































#42
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Avg: 7.824
Highest
: 10x2 (@constantino; @WarmBlood11)

Lowest: 4x1 (@AshleyKerwin)

My Vote: 8.5

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: “Forever is upon us, wait for never would be wrong”


I’m so sorry. This is a genuinely good song and it should’ve been Top 40 at the very least. Now Reverie is down to 2 songs. Can’t spoil anything but let’s hope they both make it far.


This poignant plea to a lover is hook upon hook upon hook like only Tinashe can do. Particular highlight are those opening harp-like chords, sublime. Over the past few days I’ve criticized many times how heavily melodramatic Reverie can get, but in this track Tinashe balances it all flawlessly. It’s emotional, but not to the point of being overwrought or unironically cheesy. Key word is nuance: there are calmer moments that contrast the chorus and its drama, which makes it all the more convincing. Really a well-realized track. I’m not 100% sold on the post-chorus, otherwise it could even get a 10 from me.


Let’s skip through the unfortunate souls first. I’m not saying you are one AshleyKerwin (4) but you definitely are: “I feel like this would be on a disaster movie soundtrack.” You talk from experience there? Touchofmyhand (9.5) finally gets to see the light: “I slept on this for so long, but when it showed, it exploded with THAT chorus. I won't give it a 10 because it wasn't as instant as the other 10s of Reverie”. I didn’t give a single 10 on this mixtape ddd. You didn’t hear anything. Last word goes to constantino (10) and I should be happy this cheap wench is getting another high-score out but I’m not that petty. Hell no. Could’ve been another one of his 10s tho. “This ghostly moment of gothic whatever. Evanescence cancelled. Kyla La Grange is shaking.” Evanescence wish they could be as nuanced as this. I don’t know what a Kyla La Grange is. #HipsterJustice what’s good.

 
Getting a bit lazy the past few days.




















Maybe it was the prospect of this elimination.























C*ws.























#41!!!
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Avg: 7.868
Highest
: 10x4 (@WarmBlood11; @lemonsqueezyy; @Andy French; and me, the 4 knights of the Apocalypse)

Lowest: 2x1 (@TRAVVV, you in danger girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

My Vote: 10

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: That soothing drum pattern


Wow.


WHAT.

A.

SONG.


That is the best song off In Case We Die and quite possibly among her best songs ever. I’d put it into her Top 10 without hesitation. Yes, it’s that good.


First things first, it’s 5:44 minutes of pure bliss, when most girls can’t even handle 4+ minutes, especially AT THEIR DEBUT. Right, let’s not compare, everybody’s different, I know. Not everybody can be Tinashe.


Where to start with all this amazingness? The sound. How fucking smooth it sounds. How much it fucking bops. How cleansed my entire existence is by all this magnificence. The hooks are as stunning as they get. The chorus so hysterical, Tinashe replying to those distorted ogre vocals then stealing the lines altogether. The incredible bridge. The outro, the sonic equivalent of hot melted fudge.


And you heathens gave it the chop at #41. I can’t really complain about the outcome of this rate up until now, and I can tell there’s going to be a couple more choices on the way, but this is the most puzzling one in the whole affair. How can you possibly not obsess over a song like this? Just because it’s not glittery electro-pop doesn’t mean it can’t be a grade A+ bop. Just because it’s not glossy or as refined as her later work doesn’t mean it should be considered unpolished. It’s a masterpiece, through and through, and nobody can change that. Not even this measly position.


Not even AshleyKerwin (6), serving pain in the ass high-school teacher who’s never satisfied with anything: “Nice but not enough going on.” You mean to tell me verse-prechorus-otherprechorus-chorus-slightvariationofchorus-verse-prechorus-otherprechorus-chorus-slightvariationofchorus-bridge-chorus-slightvariationofchorus-3differingversesofoutro with all sorts of vocal flourishes in between isn’t enough for your standards? Come on! Another pretty low-scorer is phily??? (6.5): “The bleeps that are scattered through the song are a lovely touch, very early 00s sounding.” You must really hate the 00s then otherwise WHY DETRACT 3.5 POINTS? Luckily there’s good nikkysan (8.5) stanning for the Shrek realness of it all: “Those slightly distorted adlibs you can hear during the chorus, I love those. Gives a very euphoric sound to the track.” I’m holding myself onto every last bit of positivitea I can find so I’m not gonna oppose it. Last word goes to up and coming comedian duo Andy French (10) and constantino (8): “She did it” “And that is what she did”. Yeah. She did. That. Unlike y’all.

 
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That is going to be our only elimination today (if I wasn't so mad I'd rejoice in the cheap punnery) because we have a rounded-up Top 40 right there. And because That deserves its rightful moment to shine. Also because I'm feeling real lazy. Mostly because I'm feeling lazy.

Ok, here's what we've assembled together as the Top 40. Top 41 is that little bit more amazing though am I right?

TOP 40

InCaseWeDie_Cover.jpg


The Last Night on Earth
This Feeling

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Stargazing
Ecstasy

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Black Water
Vulnerable
Midnight Sun
1 for Me

16057662


Aquarius
Bet (featuring Devonté Hynes)
Cold Sweat
2 On (featuring Schoolboy Q)
Pretend (featuring ASAP Rocky)
All Hands on Deck
Far Side of the Moon
Feels Like Vegas
Bated Breath
Wildfire
Watch Me Work


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Dreams Are Real
Wrong
Something to Feel
Looking 4 It
Wanderer
Worth It (featuring Iamsu!)

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Lucid Dreaming
C'est La Vie
Sunburn
Sacrifices
Company
Soul Glitch
Spacetime
Ride of Your Life
Party Favors
Touch Pass
Ghetto Boy

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Player
All My Friends (with Snakehips and Chance the Rapper)
Just Say (with KDA)
Superlove

 
#40
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ecd4df31-cb43-4947-8b92-51055cf96bbe

Avg: 7.882
Highest
: 10x3 (@lemonsqueezyy; @2014; @ThisIsRogue)

Lowest: 4.5x1 (@nikkysan)

My Vote: 8.5

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: the lqqks


Y’all just decided All My Friends is Tinashe’s best feature and I’m so fucking thankful. Situation’s not as hopeless as I imagined. We’ll see how long that lasts.


If you look up “basic bop” in the dictionary, you won’t find this song because let’s face it our girl Tinashe still hasn’t made that kind of impact. That doesn’t change the fact Just Say is a basic bop through and through. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but Tinashe is honestly worth so much more than 9 notes (yeah I counted them (yeah I tried to push a clunky New Rules pun here but couldn't)) repeated over and over and over.


Now, on to the important things: the video. Yas. Answer this question: would you even remember about this song without that spectacular video? In a way, it feels so wrong one of her bestest video is “wasted” on a song like this, but it’s so incredible I don’t particularly care.


She serves some amazing looks throughout, yes, she also serves first and foremost face. Be it a vacuous stare into the void or a fierce femme fatale, her expressions, her intensity, her moves are always on point. One thing I’m sure about, she can only grow as a visual artist, and I can’t wait for the time when we’ll cheerfully look back at Superlove, when we thought it was her best video.


Ah, I almost forgot. My university is in a bit of a shady neighbourhood. One time, while going back to the underground station after lessons, there was this one car with windows down, and Just Say was blasting at full volume. AND I EVEN DARED QUESTION HER IMPACT?! I’m such a flop.


Reaction is mixed in the commentary. For Posh Spears (5) “this song never lives up to its potential” and nikkysan (4.5) serves beautiful goldfish: “I mean, it just kinda comes and goes whenever it comes on for me. Fast beat, but I can never remember how this goes nor do I care to replay it to remember how it goes.” It’s literally 9 notes though. phily969 (6) isn’t impressed either. Maybe he wanted 10 notes. “I like this but that's it, and I know it was well liked on here but I don't get why so many fawn all over it.” Maybe not, considering it barely made Top 40. My wild shot is they’ll let you live another day.


Waiting for a forgiveness card from constantino (8) any day now: “OOP, bop alert! I honestly didn’t even know this existed!” Add to that a chocolate box and you won’t even have to thank me! In all honesty, though, I’m a bit disappointed nobody referenced that amazeballs video yet. TRAVVV (8), come here and right this wrong: “Certainly a grower. That glammed out Twin Peaks video helped too.” Seriously, go watch it if you haven’t already. I’ll do the dirty job for you and embed it right here.

 
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#39
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Avg: 7.958


Highest: 10x3 (@ohdenny; @phily693; @constantino)

Lowest: 6x2 (none other than me and @TRAVVV)

My Vote: 6

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: the kiis


Ok, now close your eyes and try to imagine what I’m going to tell you, okay? Go back in time to early 2016, inside a struggling recording label. Arguably the biggest popstar in the planet releases her latest single and people are mistaking it with one of your artist’s 1.5 years old bonus track. What are you gonna do? You proceed to release it on YouTube and Spotify to capitalize on the situation, of course!


Tell me, doesn’t this sound like mental stan fiction in your opinion? Yet here we are. @RCA stays doing the most while doing the very least, fucking up and being a total embarrassment at every conceivable occasion. Relatable queen!


The actual song “issa bop”, like the youngsters use to say nowadays. I think. It’s a bit too much on the empty side of it though. When you get past the production, you can’t find a single feel-good vibe from it. It’s competent, but joyless. Dare I say lifeless? I mean

Watch me work, work, work, daddy

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Watch me while I work, work, work

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Yeah, now let me do my work, work, work, daddy

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Watch me while I work, work, work, daddy


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Let’s get the overenthusiastic crowd first. phily192 (10) shares a story: "I liked this when I first heard it and never really went back to it much after. Then when that genius put it up as Rihanna's Work on YouTube, I heard it again and fell in love all over again. It's probably one of her more simplistic and mainstream pandering productions, but it's a total bop." You're so brave. Thank you. Touchofmyhand (9) believes this “should have been a single, not a bonus track. It sounds a little demo-ish. With some tweaking it could have been the second single with all hands on deck third”. For all the shit I give Pretend as a single, god no. constantino (10) also hammers the single claxon: “SUCH a bop. So contemporary. So catchy. So fresh. So much hit potential. Such a missed opportunity. Why, Tina, why? This deserved to be a single, let alone an album track. Bonus track my arse.” Thankfully, herstory is by my side.


nikkysan (7) and Posh Spears (7.5) serve moderate realism: “It's good but fans overhype it” “Bop but it lasts a bit too long”. To conclude, I head over to the “We hide deep discontent with high levels of sass and sarcasm” groupchat which is honestly among my Top 15 favortie groupchats ever. Someone should do a rate someday by the way. There’s two messages there. First one is from AshleyKerwin (9): “Remember when we thought that getting this video trending would turn things around for Tinashe? Ha.” No because I only started stanning her afterwards thus preserving my mental well-being over her rampant floppability. Ha. And finally, TRAVVV (6), who’s that girl I knew they were: “I was that girl who went to Best Buy on release day for this track.” Support talent. Always and forever.

 
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#39
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Avg: 7.958


Highest: 10x3 (@ohdenny; @phily693; @constantino)

Lowest: 6x2 (none other than me and @TRAVVV)

My Vote: 6

Worth It (feat. Iamsu) for: the kiis


Ok, now close your eyes and try to imagine what I’m going to tell you, okay? Go back in time to early 2016, inside a struggling recording label. Arguably the biggest popstar in the planet releases her latest single and people are mistaking it with one of your artist’s 1.5 years old bonus track. What are you gonna do? You proceed to release it on YouTube and Spotify to capitalize on the situation, of course!


Tell me, doesn’t this sound like mental stan fiction in your opinion? Yet here we are. @RCA stays doing the most while doing the very least, fucking up and being a total embarrassment at every conceivable occasion. Relatable queen!


The actual song “issa bop”, like the youngsters use to say nowadays. I think. It’s a bit too much on the empty side of it though. When you get past the production, you can’t find a single feel-good vibe from it. It’s competent, but joyless. Dare I say lifeless? I mean

Watch me work, work, work, daddy

tumblr_onbqm7B7Rs1qkm7iwo1_500.gif


Watch me while I work, work, work

tumblr_onbqm7B7Rs1qkm7iwo1_500.gif


Yeah, now let me do my work, work, work, daddy

tumblr_onbqm7B7Rs1qkm7iwo1_500.gif


Watch me while I work, work, work, daddy


tumblr_onbqm7B7Rs1qkm7iwo1_500.gif



Let’s get the overenthusiastic crowd first. phily192 (10) shares a story: "I liked this when I first heard it and never really went back to it much after. Then when that genius put it up as Rihanna's Work on YouTube, I heard it again and fell in love all over again. It's probably one of her more simplistic and mainstream pandering productions, but it's a total bop." You're so brave. Thank you. Touchofmyhand (9) believes this “should have been a single, not a bonus track. It sounds a little demo-ish. With some tweaking it could have been the second single with all hands on deck third”. For all the shit I give Pretend as a single, god no. constantino (10) also hammers the single claxon: “SUCH a bop. So contemporary. So catchy. So fresh. So much hit potential. Such a missed opportunity. Why, Tina, why? This deserved to be a single, let alone an album track. Bonus track my arse.” Thankfully, herstory is by my side.


nikkysan (7) and Posh Spears (7.5) serve moderate realism: “It's good but fans overhype it” “Bop but it lasts a bit too long”. To conclude, I head over to the “We hide deep discontent with high levels of sass and sarcasm” groupchat which is honestly among my Top 15 favortie groupchats ever. Someone should do a rate someday by the way. There’s two messages there. First one is from AshleyKerwin (9): “Remember when we thought that getting this video trending would turn things around for Tinashe? Ha.” No because I only started stanning her afterwards thus preserving my mental well-being over her rampant floppability. Ha. And finally, TRAVVV (6), who’s that girl I knew they were: “I was that girl who went to Best Buy on release day for this track.” Support talent. Always and forever.


Damn - I really didn't expect to be the rate villain, as I have actively consumed and loved Tina since the mixtape era(s). I promise I actually scored many (deserved) tracks very high.

And I die that Watch Me Work is one of her few charting moments. Kind of amazing that a fan upload can create waves for a Best Buy bonus track.
 
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