LGBTQIA+

I'm not sure how the mods will feel about this, given that sexuality can be a tender issue with some people, but since a large portion (the majority) of posters on this board are gay or bisexual, I think it would be nice to have somewhere to explicitly discuss matters.

I have a feeling I've tried this before, but I might just be imagining things.

Plenty to discuss.

*Coming-out stories, or if you need support.
*Politics + sexuality
*Religion + sexuality
*The stigmas related to sexuality (are you uncomfortable with it "defining" you?)
*Gay sub-cultures
*Drag culture
*Clubbing

... and that's only scratching the surface.

Obviously, don't feel the need to censor yourself or tread on eggshells, but try to be as respectful and non-judgemental as possible.
 

Rmx

He/Him/His
Gosh, there's so much to say about this I don't even know where to start, so what I'm about to say might seem a bit random. But "being gay" is a blessing and a curse at the same time. It's a curse because the ideal in society is to have a family, and even though we can adopt or find other means of having children, we'll never be a nuclear family and for that alone we'll always be exiles. This is why gay people are so much more likely to have mental disorders, depression, suicide, etc. However, it also means that we deal with heavy issues (all the coming out / learning to accept yourself drama) quite early in life, and I genuinely believe that makes us stronger persons. And what better excuse than being gay is there to have loads of fun in life! I used to hate being gay (pre-coming out), but now I wouldn't change it for the world. If they gave me a pill that made me straight, I'd throw it away.
 
I love being gay. I love men. I love lots of different types of men. So it's pretty great.

(Proper response to come later...maybe).
 
This woman is an ass.

Linda-Harvey-Gays-Should-Be-Banned-From-Teaching-186x186.jpg


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/...y-mission-america-linda-harvey_n_1776997.html
 

Mr.Arroz

Staff member
he/him/his
Gosh, there's so much to say about this I don't even know where to start, so what I'm about to say might seem a bit random. But "being gay" is a blessing and a curse at the same time. It's a curse because the ideal in society is to have a family, and even though we can adopt or find other means of having children, we'll never be a nuclear family and for that alone we'll always be exiles. This is why gay people are so much more likely to have mental disorders, depression, suicide, etc. However, it also means that we deal with heavy issues (all the coming out / learning to accept yourself drama) quite early in life, and I genuinely believe that makes us stronger persons. And what better excuse than being gay is there to have loads of fun in life! I used to hate being gay (pre-coming out), but now I wouldn't change it for the world. If they gave me a pill that made me straight, I'd throw it away.

Agree with completely. It's almost stereotypical to paint our experiences as melodramatic and difficult, but actually they are. I'm glad to be "knowing" and accepting of not only myself, but the diversity that being of an "alternative lifestyle" has exposed me to. I have run into people from all walks of life, and learned to appreciate people that my Midwestern upbringing would otherwise have prevented me from acknowledging.

Love myself, and my world - would never trade it for anything!
 
Being gay is shit though. It's not even fabulous! It's like being straight but life's 75% harder.

And I got none of the stereotypical positive gay attributes needed to soften the deal. Where's my suave fashion sense and scathing wit, godammit?!
 

Rmx

He/Him/His
That's the downside of positive stereotypes. They create high expectations we can't all fulfill. I could go on for ages about that but I'll spare you the essays.
 
T

TeenIdle

Relating to the recent "scandal" involving Anderson Cooper, this sums up my feelings to how most are reporting on it -

What Those Photos of Anderson Cooper's Boyfriend Kissing Another Man Could Teach America

“So instead of assuming that Maisani was cheating on Cooper, as almost all the media outlets have done, why not assume that Cooper knew exactly where his boyfriend was and had simply said, “Have fun with Bob. I’ll see you later tonight. Oh, and can you pick up some more milk? We’re almost out”?

Because most of America isn’t ready for that. It’s barely ready for gay marriage (and, in most states, entirely unprepared for it). Right wingers are quick to argue that if they give their blessing to gay marriages, other unthinkable terrors, like polygamy and polyamory, won’t be far behind.

And they’re not alone. Even some queer people worry about what the larger consequences of non-monogamy could be. One gay friend of mine, who has been with his partner for nearly a decade but is unable to marry him because they reside in a Midwestern state where gay marriage isn’t legal, thought the photos of Maisani could make it even harder for him to wed. He questioned how mainstream America would react to Maisani’s public display of affection with a man who wasn’t his boyfriend and how it would do anything to “help gay acceptance.”

But in my fantasies, we’re not gunning for gay acceptance — especially not if the only way we’re granted it is by “behaving ourselves” and struggling to fit into a heteronormative mold (which, as far as I can tell, hasn’t really benefited heterosexual people very well, either). Instead, I want us to be pushing for queer liberation, which, to me, has always meant that when it comes to sex and love, we all get to do whatever we want with whomever we want as long as we’re not hurting anyone (unless, of course, that person/those people are asking for us to hurt them).”

via HuffPost

The "No, no! Not all of us are like that!" reaction from gay men is a bit disheartening.
 

Rmx

He/Him/His
Why? We're literally not all like that. Homosexuality shouldn't be directly associated with polygamy. I think polygamy is great if both people agree, but heterosexuals can do that just as well for that matter. I hate the direct link with homosexuality. They're two separate things, though it's probably more common for gays. But that's more of a man thing, not a gay thing. I don't see a lot of gay women do it.
 
Why? We're literally not all like that. Homosexuality shouldn't be directly associated with polygamy. I think polygamy is great if both people agree, but heterosexuals can do that just as well for that matter. I hate the direct link with homosexuality. They're two separate things, though it's probably more common for gays. But that's more of a man thing, not a gay thing. I don't see a lot of gay women do it.
It is a man thing. Its usually the men that cheat.

I think its something primal that men are pre-programmed to reproduce as much a possible.
 
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad I'm gay. There's no other way to put it.

I'm nicer and more self-aware than the average heterosexual because I've been treated like absolute dirt, and I'd never ever want anyone to feel the way I have. My experiences have definitely made me a better person, and I look forward to any more 'ordeals' because I know I can get through them and come out the other side a better person. I'm more open-minded, which really lets me live life happier, instead of in a little box. Most straight people live in such a little box of ideals and rules and morals, I just couldn't bear living like that.
Quite a few straight men have said "you're the coolest gay guy I've ever met" because I try to avoid being a cunt, a gossip, rude, shallow, etc.(these are characteristics of people in general, not just gay people), because all my experiences have made me so self-aware (in the good way).
I come off as a bit of a dick on this site sometimes, but I'm really genuinely nice in person all because I've never really been treated that nicely and I know what it feels like.

I'm horribly inarticulate but I hope y'all got my message.


(And seriously, THE MEN! God do I love men)
 
T

TeenIdle

Why? We're literally not all like that. Homosexuality shouldn't be directly associated with polygamy. I think polygamy is great if both people agree, but heterosexuals can do that just as well for that matter. I hate the direct link with homosexuality. They're two separate things, though it's probably more common for gays. But that's more of a man thing, not a gay thing. I don't see a lot of gay women do it.

Well, yeah, we aren't all like that - but for us to even have to defend homosexuality is problematic as it 1) only further holds up the burden of representation gay men have to deal with as a minority (Us giving the "we're not all like that!" line as opposed to telling any non-gay person they're a complete idiot for ever assuming that a person from X minority doing something is representative of all people from X minority) and 2) shames polyamorous relationships, which plays into an extremely dominant heteronormative attitude in society.

Which is why people find the "marriage equality" fight a bit problematic as opposed to something like "sexual equality" (or "gay liberation"), as it doesn't aim to equalize gay people and place homosexuality just as equal and understood as heterosexuality. It tries to make homosexuality as tolerable as possible for heterosexual people by dressing it up as closely to the societal values of heterosexuality as possible.

A gay person should be able to have any kind of relationship they want - be it with multiple partners and single, in a monogamous relationship with one person, with one partner yet not finding the need to bend towards a normative like marriage, not seeing anyone at all, in a polyamorous relationship or whatever they want to explore.
 
R

Resi12

A gay person should be able to have any kind of relationship they want - be it with multiple partners and single, in a monogamous relationship with one person, with one partner yet not finding the need to bend towards a normative like marriage, not seeing anyone at all, in a polyamorous relationship or whatever they want to explore.

Well, they can. That isn't illegal is it?

Why? We're literally not all like that. Homosexuality shouldn't be directly associated with polygamy. I think polygamy is great if both people agree, but heterosexuals can do that just as well for that matter. I hate the direct link with homosexuality. They're two separate things, though it's probably more common for gays. But that's more of a man thing, not a gay thing. I don't see a lot of gay women do it.

Completely. This isn't a gay specific issue (for lack of a better word) and I hate when gay people try to act like it's something to boast about. "I get to be a whore because I'm gay! Wooo!!". That mind set is so confusing for me, as a gay man. Let alone to some 40 year old housewife from the mid west of America.
 
Just came in to echo everyone who has said they love being gay.

I wasn't always, though. It's only been in the past few years I've learned to love myself. I was probably a bit of a self-hating gay in my early twenties.
 
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad I'm gay. There's no other way to put it.

I'm nicer and more self-aware than the average heterosexual because I've been treated like absolute dirt, and I'd never ever want anyone to feel the way I have. My experiences have definitely made me a better person, and I look forward to any more 'ordeals' because I know I can get through them and come out the other side a better person. I'm more open-minded, which really lets me live life happier, instead of in a little box.

I completely agree with all of this. It's made me pause before judging someone. Even straight people who are all pro-gay rights are pretty naive about LGBT issues, or will turn around and say something transphobic.
 
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