LGBTQIA+ | Page 1048 | The Popjustice Forum


Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Babylon, Aug 15, 2012.

  1. I think it's just a lack of understanding and familiarity. And of course people get into them for the wrong reasons and that can be disastrous. I struggled to get my head around them for a long time, especially since I was in a monogamous relationship and I saw that as 'the way'. But relationships change and 16 years into mine things have opened up (some what). I had a *really* weird year on top of the pandemic. A total head fuck.

    It's also worth noting that there isn't one way to have an open relationship. It very much hinges on what the individuals want.
    lushLuck, londonrain and DoggySwami like this.
  2. Fully, but people also get into monogamous relationships for all the wrong reasons too dddd. I guess it’s just funny to me that gays can accept same sex love, love with many genders, trans people, non-binary identifies, asexuality, kink, etc. but the second you tell them “my partner and I are in a committed and long term loving relationship, and we sleep with other people” they go:


    as if it’s the most wild, unknown, unacceptable thing they’ve ever heard of.
    Jacques, stuaw, BubblegumBoy and 14 others like this.
  3. I think you give gays too much credit
    Jacques, roblognick, stuaw and 32 others like this.
  4. I wouldn’t go that far.
  5. I don't really have relationships as an asexual (I know not all are like this...) but if I did, you bet I would allow my partner to go get their needs met elsewhere. As long as I knew about it, and that's what they want, fine.
  6. Every relationship has their own set of rules, open or not. Simple as.
  7. I'm single and I would never sleep with a guy who was in an open relationship. Tried it once, the other person wanted it to be a regular thing and was developing feelings for me and so his partner got my number and started harassing me.

    So it's the biggest turn off for me, personally.
    magictreehouse likes this.
  8. These "how masc for masc gays think they sound vs how they really sound" memes

    lushLuck and Jamie like this.
  9. This humblebrag, I live.
  10. I get you had a previously bad experience with it -- but just because it happened once doesn't mean every open couple are secretly jealous liars who aren't emotionally prepared for it and will make the third person uncomfortable. I've allowed my partner to have several regular things over the years, even go on dates (more than one) with the same person, and have never once tracked that person down or started contacting them to harass them. Some couples may open up too soon and ultimately are too jealous/possessive to really be okay with their partners pursuing other people. Others aren't.
  11. Mr.Arroz

    Mr.Arroz Staff Member

    And honestly, it's fair to be stung because something burned you in the past, but a better approach would to just be cautious and on the lookout for any potential red flags, rather than being outright dismissive and seemingly judgmental. Every open situation is a differently textured one, and being more nuanced about your interaction with them will be better off for all parties, but mostly yourself, in the long run.
  12. Mr.Arroz

    Mr.Arroz Staff Member

    It's already started in NYC

  13. All valid points but how does one go about screening for that? Usually you ask if your partner is ‘cool with it’ and the answer is ‘yeah’ and then you go ahead with it. To go further into the nuances of the relationship would be the biggest mood killer for me.
  14. londonrain

    londonrain Staff Member

    How does one go about screening people who aren't in relationships? They can be just as insecure, jealous and clingy as the next person. Ultimately you have to trust your gut.
    Jacques, roblognick, stuaw and 20 others like this.
  15. @londonrain kinda said what I was going to say. Ultimately you have to screen for a good connection and trust in any sexual encounter you come across; and hope that they are as forthcoming with what they are looking for and what they want as you are.
    stuaw, Island, JMRGBY and 5 others like this.
  16. Casual sex got so much better for me once I found my partner. I used to latch on and project so much onto guys I'd just met and then once I found emotional fulfillment with one guy, sex in general became much more fun and exciting and not emotionally fraught ddd.

    But of course everyone is different and there are too many different factors I think to make sweeping statements one way or the other. One of my besties is in an open marriage and his husband fucks anything that moves and my bestie would rather it be monogamous - the emotional toll is really intense on him. Also his husband wants to talk about who he has met, which is great, but I personally would hate to hear that (ignorance is bliss etc). In conclusion, do whatever works for you and don't do anything that doesn't.
    Jacques, Island, jtm and 10 others like this.

    Hey everyone, I'm part of an LGBTQIA+ organisation called Mid Ulster Pride here in Mid Ulster, Northern Ireland and I would love it if youse could give it a wee watch, would love to see what yous think of it. I'm the ginger haired guy wearing glasses in it, I'm also being interviewed too.
    Conan, K94 and He like this.
  18. Worse than having a piece of shit on your dick? Being a piece of shit to someone for it. You put your body into someone's shithole, I mean....gorgeous, stunning, never the same, co-totally unique, but people poop from there.

    Most people I've met didn't want an unfortunate event to happen and/or had differing priorities re: the lengths they went to in preparation for penetrative sex. Let's discuss it honestly and openly, like any other aspect of sex.
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2021
  19. I once had a date with a very cute flight attendandt in his hotel, we clicked, it was fun.

    When I told hom about my boyfriend after that his mood totally shifted. I guess I should have told him beforehand I was in an open relationship but in the end we met for a sex date, in his hotel room at the airport, what did he expect?

    I still don‘t understand why gays meet for sex and hope it turns into romance. If I am really interested in someone I would never meet for a hook up as first date.
    ohaimanabu and lushLuck like this.
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