LGBTQIA+

My school bully once messaged me to say sorry for his actions but that's only because he wanted me to design his next tattoo.

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londonrain

Staff member
Someone else from my year messaged me a few years ago to apologise and it felt sincere because he actually acknowledged what he did and specifically apologised for his part of it - and also because it was minor compared to the bully I mentioned earlier. So it’s not like I’ll never accept an apology.

But this “I’m sincerely sorry for whatever I might have done but I don’t remember any of it and I won’t acknowledge that it was homophobic” nonsense? Nah.

 
I found myself in a very similar situation. Someone that made my life hell at High School died in a joy riding accident. He would call my house landline and ask to speak to me, then shout homophobic abuse at me. He would also turn up at my house with a gang of lads and pretend to my parents that he was a friend to try to get me to come out of the house so they could beat me up. He would wait for me after school and walk behind me kicking my feet to trip me up and spitting on my back.

When he died there were pieces in the local newspaper trying to make out what a tragic accident it was, with quotes from the school about him being a popular pupil. He was horrible (I know they can't say that in the newspaper). The whole year group was given the day off to attend his funeral. I had a lovely day at home instead! It's weird to feel relief when someone dies.

This is all kinds of nasty! I can't believe people can be so abjectly cruel. But, in a heartless (?) way... he sure got his.
 

matthew.

Staff member
Nn one of my biggest bullies in high school who also made my life a living hell, including at a cross country "roast" event making a whole sketch about me coming out of the closet (I didn't even realize I was gay at this time) in front of my parents?? Got wasted and drowned in a lake. I saw the news and simply thought;

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I will extend no sympathies to anyone who caused me so much misery! No sir no m'am!
 
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The high school boy who used to be my dear friend, and inadvertently turned into my first crush, read the letter where I confessed said crush in front of his bro roommates, while we were all living in shared student accommodation. Not only did he do it for the kiis, in retrospect, he basically endangered me physically? Any one of them could've beaten me up if they wanted to.
So anyway, he got in a horrible car accident. He's fine now, living a very basic mid straightie life with a miserable salary. Still a homophobic ass too! Yeah, can't help but feel a bit of schadenfreude.
 
Yeah most of the boys who'd given me (and others) a hard time for dressing like Bros (kii) or liking Bananarama and Belinda Carlisle died one after the other as soon as we left school from drugs / motorbike accidents or both. One of them was my neighbour's nephew and she tearily told me one day 'we lost poor Anthony!!!' and I was like 'okay'.

Byeee!
 

Mr.Arroz

Staff member
He/Him/His
The only story I have like this is a former straight friend that made my life hell the last semester of college. Another gay friend physically assaulted me while drunk, she accused me of fabricating the "story", and worst of all, she said I deserved to suffer. Fast forward a few years down the road on Facebook and she ended up having to have her leg amputated, and the gay reptile is balding.

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I was incredibly lucky not to have been bullied during my school years. I detested bullies that would pick on vulnerable or diverse people. I always had an opinion and would stand-up to them but somehow I would always go too far and end up being a bully the bully, which I later learned was never right. Coming out as gay, with my boyfriend at the time definitely made people shocked (I always played rugby and basketball from a young age and always would get into fights) but also could line it up from my obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed and of course Sugababes. After that, the bullies (who would never change and continue to bully anyone) would completely avoid me if they ever saw me on their radar, which worked fine for me. I wondered if it was from me dealing with them or if it was because they knew I was gay. I feel very fortunate to have not had a shit school experience, it was in fact the opposite. I never take that for granted.
 
This subject is so interesting to me. I'm writing on forgiveness at the moment and I've always been adamant that you don't need to forgive people to move on. Of course it's different if the other person is genuinely sorry and they offer an apology but from my viewpoint, you don't need it yourself to get on with your life.

Happiness is the best revenge.
 
There are people who made my life hell who are, at least on paper, happier and doing better than me. Not that it isn't validating to receive some acknowledgement of the hurt from someone or to see someone bad fail but...I'm still working on getting out of a headspace where my only way to 'win' at life is to do better and be happier than them. Especially when they likely haven't given me a second thought in years
 
I had my fair share of dealings with horrible homophobic bullies during high school.

Whilst none of them died, I moved back to my hometown a few years ago and whenever I see them they're usually either a) riddled with kids and looking extremely dishevelled or b) still working in the same shop they worked at part-time during high school, having peaked during their high school years

For me, that's punishment enough

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I feel like being gay in a relatively hostile environment has made me more adventurous though; up for taking a risk and uprooting myself to go to where the queer people are at in greater numbers, travel and prioritise life away from 'home'.

Nearly all of the people I went to school with are still in the area or haven't gone far at all, but I guess there's something around roots, keeping the friends of their youth that those of us who fought through every day don't have - before I think I'd have felt bitter about that, but seeing that they're all still there just getting older and still hanging out with the same twats they were at 16, raising little clones of themselves, I feel like I'm better off and that those shitty years were a launchpad away from that existence.

TL;DR we're awesome.
 
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