LGBTQIA+ | Page 856 | The Popjustice Forum

LGBTQIA+

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Babylon, Aug 15, 2012.

  1. I absolutely stan being in my 30s, even though I often still have crisis of confidence. It's important to remember that nobody ever really figures things out or gets their shit together even if it looks like they do – regardless of if they're 25 or 65. Holding yourself up against other people or what you "think" you should be doing at your age is only going to make you miserable, gwerls. Just do you, and the right people will come to you.

    But, like – the knowledge, the wisdom, the bullshit detection I've manage to accumulate since I was in my early 20s? Aging is iconic and there's dick available for all age brackets, body shapes, hobbies and preferences nowadays so don't panic.
     
  2. I'm about to be 28 iiiin.... 2 days.
    I always joke "Yeah i'm 27, That's practically 42 in Gay Years".
    But the joke aside, you have no obligation to "grow up" based on anyone else's opinions. I'm pretty sure RuPaul, who I don't like quoting from his canned phrases, one time said "Be who you are, not who you think people want you to be".
    I still wear comic book character tshirts, I have a Spongebob shirt, a Steven universe shirt, Gaga shirts, drag queen shirts... I honestly don't care if i'm "Getting a little too old" for them in other people's eyes because they make me happy.
    I meet a lot of customers at work, selling makeup to them, and I ALWAYS hear "Oh no... I can't wear that, I'm too old for that." I always tell them: There is no rules to life, those 'rules' of what you 'can and can't do' someone else made those up for themselves... Life is much better when you like something- you do it, you wear it. I will be an 80 year old man in blue eyeshadow and lipstick. You make your own rules for your own life. The only caveat with that is that you also have to be open with yourself about making changes you want to do for your own self - If you feel the need to start working out soon, do it, even if you never have before. But do it because you want to, not because you feel like you should.
     
    flowersandu, hologram, Sam and 14 others like this.
  3. If we weren't getting older, it'd have meant that we died, so I'm into it.
     
    FridayNight and letuinmybackdoor like this.
  4. I'll be turning 28 in July and honestly, thank you for writing this because I have been getting some real anxieties recently at the thought of it. I just keep wondering, will I be 'too old' to do all the things that I enjoy? I love going out and getting drunk at the weekend as much as anyone, spending obscene amounts of money going to gigs, dating etc but there's this nagging voice in my head telling me otherwise. I know it's ridiculous to even think that but damn, the fear is real.
     
    Gemini likes this.
  5. Arriving in the GAY thread for some light reading, only to see posts about people in their 20's worried about being "old".

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  6. londonrain

    londonrain Staff Member

    You will never be 'too old' to do anything you enjoy. You think there aren't people in their 30s, 40s and 50s going out and getting drunk at the weekend as much as anyone, spending obscene amounts of money going to gigs and dating? If you don't, then that's just because you haven't noticed them. If you do but think they're ridiculous or 'too old', then that's more about your own internalised prejudices than it is about them.

    Just live your best life and don't worry about arbitrary numbers.
     
  7. I absolutely don't think that at all. I guess I'm just looking at it from my own perspective, which is a late 20-something whose probably just a little scared about getting older. I would be the first person to encourage people to live their best lives at whatever age, yet I struggle to allow myself the same freedoms.

    I read my post back and it sounded ridiculous after putting it into words but those were just some of the thoughts I had when I thought about turning 28. I need to just get over it and like you said, not worry about numbers or made up assumptions!
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2020
    toby3000 and londonrain like this.
  8. RJF

    RJF

    The idea of being too old to enjoy certain things came from boring heterosexual boomers who had spouses, multiple children, and property by the age of 21 and stopped having any interests outside their mortgage. Having assets instead of hobbies doesn’t make you an adult.
     
    fancygreen, OspreyQueen, jtm and 62 others like this.
  9. Best post in this thread. Ever.
     
    Gemini likes this.
  10. There's plenty of people in their 30s, 40s, 50s doing the exact same thing as you (gigs, clubs, dating, shagging, whatever) – you just don't notice them because we're naturally only concerned with the type of circles we inhabit. That's no shade whatsoever because I was the same, but I think you maybe just need to look outside your bubble a bit and notice what's going on around you on a wider level.

    The idea that there's somehow a cutoff point once the clock strikes midnight on your 30th birthday where you're locked indoors until the end of time and aren't allowed to continue as you are is something y'all really need to get untwisted.
     
    Bangers&Bops, Sam, Laurence and 10 others like this.
  11. 100%.
    I think young people have more of a "Well i'm doing these things because I enjoy it, not because it is financially beneficial, or earns me status" mindset than older generations. Which is why we feel the pressure of "Oh, Do I need to grow up now?", because we look at older folks and see that a lot of them kind of... threw their passions away to instead get a job they could make money at. Young people aren't willing to compromise like that as much anymore. We want to make money, yes, but capitalism is such poison that we really want to just be able to do the things that make us happy, too. And everyone should be allowed that.
     
    Crisp X, Jamie and ratedr like this.
  12. I truly think, and would say this doesn't get given enough attention, that when you turn 40, is when you'll be at your most liberated, powerful, confident, sassy and fearless.

    Let's look at these hoes in the years they were 40!

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    Gays should know, more than most people, how lucky they are to get to live to 40. And beyond.
     
  13. This is a very good point, and it also leads me to another point—with an entire generation of gay men lost, and with public acceptance being a relatively recent phenomenon, many young gays don't even know what it looks like to be an older gay person (who isn't a wealthy celebrity). I also think there's a fear of loneliness somewhere in there.
     
  14. This just made me burst into tears because it’s so true.
     
  15. I didn't meet my first older gay friend until I started working. My boss was in his mid 30s and gay and his boss was in his late 40s and gay*. It was a really eye opening experience into the fact that I could actually have a future and a career and that other people had paved the way to make sure I'd have an easier ride.

    Expand those circles because there's a big wide fabulous world out there.

    * he called us the 3 Muskaqueers it was a scream.
     
  16. I don't know why but I saw this and thought about the whole age (well, life) thing:


    You just gotta keep an open mind about these things and try to cut yourself some slack from time-to-time (sometimes easier said than done I'm sure)...
     
    Music Is Life, Crisp X and londonrain like this.
  17. I love being in my 30s. I was an insecure, validation-seeking mess in my 20s and the confidence I’ve found within myself since has been brilliant. Embrace what makes you unique and roll with it. Just do it with kindness to yourself and to others.
     
  18. My thirties haven’t been great so far but I know I can turn things around.
     
    cuddle dungeon and Sprockrooster like this.
  19. Older is great. It me. Trust me.
     
    Music Is Life, Sam, Alenko and 7 others like this.
  20. Island

    Island Staff Member

    Ddd I'm only friends with gays I meet on apps who are 10+ years older than me.
     
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