LGBTQIA+ | Page 889 | The Popjustice Forum


Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Babylon, Aug 15, 2012.

  1. I've suggested meeting once already and told him the days I'm off and he was like yeah sure. Why agree to be set up if your gonna make this little effort. Thats why I think is he trying to do the whole playing hard to get thing that drives me nuts. Dating in this day and age is too hard. If you interested great let's chat more get to know each other. If your not just say that's fine too we are all adults here. Sorry rant over.
    Conan and Contrail like this.
  2. I would just pull back then and leave it up to him to make the effort. If he doesn't text, at least you have your answer and save yourself the time. I know it's frustrating and this is literally the reason I deleted all my dating apps a few weeks back, conversation just doesn't seem to be a thing anymore!
    Music Is Life, Sam, Grins and 4 others like this.
  3. I thought at least being set up through mutual friends might have been a bit more natural and might have helped conversation move easier. Clearly not. How are people supposed to actually meet in this day and age anymore
  4. And that’s that. I get that people can be in a bad/not wanna talk mood but to get a response like that after all that and suggesting a hard time to meet up? Thank u, next.
    seaodw and Contrail like this.
  5. Him agreeing to be set up is why I was initially put off by his one word answers.

    People really need to act like adults especially when they were the one who agreed to meeting someone.

    Sounds like the type that just wants attention and nothing serious.

    I had similar situation but it was more of making friends and a mutual tried to set us up but he acted the same way and I had to fall back.
    Kuhleezi, Grins, Laurence and 2 others like this.
  6. Has anybody else watched the Documentary on BBC4 about Chechnya and the Gay Purge. I’ve just watched it and I’m deeply disturbed by it all.
    londonrain likes this.
  7. I watched it too and it was an absolutely harrowing watch. I felt sad for hours after watching it. I cannot believe this is happening in our modern world and the video footage of the men and women being attacked...shocking.

    I don’t understand how people can just disappear and be presumed dead but the government deny any responsibility? This world is truly fucked.
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2020
    Grins, londonrain and Stopremix like this.
  8. Yeah, let your friend know he was being short on you and vague, and that you appreciate the friend setting you up, but that the other party was being a hassle to deal with. A la *leave a bad review*.

    Those type of people are not worth anyone’s time. Getting set up doesn’t make you have to make it work for life, but at least appreciate the effort and see if you connect in person - doesn’t mean a 4 hour date! One coffee/drink is a fine start too.

    For me, I have a job, friends, responsibilities, hobbies and lots of things - If you are terrible to deal with it is not worth my time. Go play games on <generic gay app>
  9. I've decided to start online dating for the first time. I have no clue which app to use or how to do this.
    What are the 25-35 gays using these days?
  10. londonrain

    londonrain Staff Member

    Depends what you want. I’m currently having decent success with Tinder in terms of actual dating.
    Music Is Life, Grins, POPGASM and 3 others like this.
  11. Yes yes, actual dating.
    I'll launch with Tinder.
    Music Is Life and londonrain like this.
  12. Island

    Island Staff Member

    Lemme fly to London really fast xx
  13. londonrain

    londonrain Staff Member

    This does actually sound like a perfectly good reason to be anxious.

    If you can get past it, fine, but it’s been two years and you can’t get past it, which is a completely valid feeling for a number of reasons that you’ve articulated (all of which seem perfectly sensible). If he’s not able to make you feel better about that and is also reinforcing your insecurity rather than buoying your confidence, it’s possible that he isn’t what you need.
  14. Yeah I was about to write what @londonrain did.

    This part in particular worries me a bit, not gonna lie:
    especially after you told him that you get anxious because of the lack of proper communication on his part. The only advice I'd have is to try to communicate as much as possible. I understand some people struggle with it but after two years together he should be able to... say how he feels.
  15. Thank you both for replying, what you both say makes so much sense and it calms me a little bit just knowing that I'm not a crazy person obsessing over something this old??? Haha.

    In regards to communication, like when we (rarely) talk about this now, he says "what can I do to make you feel better?" and this question just floors me a bit because all I want him to say is "it won't happen again", but somehow he always seems to talk around this point and make me feel worse with all these extra random details and I feel stupid for even putting up with it/bringing it up again, but then in so many other aspects things are really good for us.
  16. londonrain

    londonrain Staff Member

    Ultimately, if it’s bothering you this much, then don’t discount it. That’s a feeling that needs to be dealt with, and I’m not getting a sense from your account that he is fully emotionally supportive of your insecurity.

    He doesn’t need to be a bad person for you not to want to be with him. You needing a kind of support that he isn’t giving you is a perfectly valid reason not to want to be with him. Heck, not wanting to be with him is a valid reason not to want to be with him. So you need to ask yourself what you truly want to happen if he never changes.
  17. You are so right. It's honestly so calming just reading these posts. There all sorts of other factors buzzing around my mind, like practical things, but what you are saying is really rational and I feel it's helping me streamline my thoughts. Thank you.
  18. You’re not wrong or crazy to feel these things cause a betrayal of trust not once but twice and in such a public way the second time is enough to make anyone feel these things well after the fact.

    As already well articulated, breaking it off with someone doesn’t exactly have to mean they were awful. People at times are like seasons and for a time they might be want you wanted and needed but you outgrow them. Sometimes even outgrow each other.

    No matter what, don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re wrong for how you feel.

    He shouldn’t have done what he did in the first place so ultimately it’s up to him to quell your worries and overall anxiety. If he can’t do that and properly be the partner you need then maybe you should re-evaluate the relationship and what else you want out of a romantic life with someone in the future.
  19. I've thought this ever since it happened and I think the lack of support bothers me as much as/more than the actual thing! I kind of talked myself into thinking I was being idealistic thinking this but seeing you guys literally write what I was thinking is giving me a lot more confidence, thank you for your reply @Contrail
    Contrail likes this.
  20. There is this gorgeous guy I followed on Tiktok and then it turns out he lives in my city... Oop.
    So I comment on his tiktoks and whatnot - nothing out of the ordinary for me, I comment on a lot of posts from different people and he's commented back and he seems nice. He said he wanted to learn makeup and I said I live in Chicago and could teach him and he Liked the comment but never replied and like that's fine.

    Okay so he made a tiktok where he said he's never been asked out on a date before. And I said "Excuse me, what do you MEAN you've never been asked on a date?!" and he said like "Yeah, never happened!" and i said "Okay well let's go on a date!"
    didn't respond.
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