Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Babylon, Aug 15, 2012.
Oh yeah? Well my bird smells good, too! He smells like a bird!
Tea. I have way too much patience with these idiots.
That Kristen Stewart Christmas movie is really not good. Why is everyone loving it so much?
Mackenzie Davis' character is horrible, and pretty much gets away with treating Kristen like garbage. K-Stew deserved Aubrey Plaza!
Get out as soon as you can!
Your dog is so adorable too.
God I want a puppy. Sadly, my cats/mom won't allow it.
Uhhhh....because it’s a perfect romcom, and now I hate you for sounding like a Harper.
It’s terrible. She ended up with the wrong girl.
I’m at a low ebb to be honest. I feel so hideous. All my friends are always getting action and flirting with each other on Twitter and I feel like I’m just completely unwanted. I had been flirting with a guy on Grindr for a while but it turns out he’s been on a few dates with someone of my friends so even that can’t go anywhere now. I just want to have sex. I want to feel sexy again. I want that confidence back again. I just want to burst into tears most of the time because I can’t stand to look at myself anymore. I feel completely disgusting.
Just like life/any good romcom.
I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. I get feeling unwanted is incredibly hard on your self-worth. It might be a good idea to seek professional help if it is available to you: some guidance in unpacking these feelings might do you good, finding the root and working in understanding it. Talking to close friends also helps.
When I've felt similarly, getting sex hasn't helped, specially if you're feeling this insecure. It'll be a momentary relief at most. Sounds horribly cliché, but finding ways to love myself is what has helped in these cases.
Poor Patrick/Garlic sauce guy has dislocated his shoulder in an accident at work, I think I want to be his friend now but I also feel bad for not kissing him. Wish he could spark my interests more but he's a walking disaster it will be like dating Mr Bean.
Probably one of the oldest tales in the book, but I’ve really developed feelings for one of my close friends. I just hate knowing that the only way to get over my feelings is distancing myself from him a bit but not being able to because I love being in his company so much.
We have kissed once and went a bit further on another occasion but nothing has happened between us in that way since June. We’ve been alone together on multiple occasions and it feels like something should happen but it never does. We have been caught alone together a few times and everyone just assumes we’ve got together, so it is a bit shit knowing that we’ve actually just sat there chatting and smoking dddd
He’s a great guy and has really been there for me over the past few months when I haven’t been my best mentally. I wouldn’t want to lose his friendship but these feelings I have just make everything so complicated ugh.
Ffff I feel you. I’ve been in this situation with a friend for a lot of 2020 and am only just finally letting go of it all. (I surmised that he wouldn’t initiate contact if I didn’t, and I was right.)
Have you spoken to him directly about your feelings and what you want?
It’s just the worst isn’t it? Glad to hear you’re starting to get over it now though. I’d say it must take time!
I actually haven’t ever told him and I probably should. I know he doesn’t have the same feelings back, which is fine, but I guess it’s just the fear of rejection and making things awkward between us. I suppose I can’t carry on with things the way they are anyway and I owe him some form of explanation if I do try and loosen the tie a little.
The sooner you stop comparing your life to others the better, work out where all this information is coming from about how your friends are getting action. Give yourself a break from social media (sounds like Twitter would be a good call at the moment), also have a word with any friends you think are at risk of spilling all their latest conquests directly to you, a good friend should be able to read the room, less chats about their sex life, more chats aimed at boosting your self esteem.
I've been pretty down lately about where I'm going with my own love life, I've put zero effort in for the past year and I'm still trying to work out whether it's due to laziness, fear or just being realistic (c'mon, we're going through a pandemic right now). Thankfully I get through it knowing I'm fly, hot and sexy and beautiful. As @He says you need to work on your self worth. Don't waste your thoughts on men that aren't interested, listen to Grindr guy who shows he's into you, listen to your partner, listen to your friends, listen to us - and if you need it, listen to a therapist.
I’ve recently gotten back to Christianity (I left when I was younger due to my sexuality) to cope with something personal that I’m going through currently.
Although I’ve found the sessions helpful to me, the possibility that these people could be homophobic was something that was in the back of my mind.
Fast forward to today’s sermon by the pastor online, he basically said that one of the many reasons why this pandemic happened was because us humans allowed homosexuality to be normalised in this world.
I’m not surprised but hearing that woke me up again as to why I left the first time, I guess to cope now, I’ll retire to self help books and also keep telling myself I’m strong and that I can get through this.
I really should’ve known better.
Yes to all of this! And don't assume sex is going make everything better, Jamie.
It may fill the void, temporarily (so to speak), but you'll probably be back feeling the same soon after if you're comparing yourself to the same friends.
I wouldn't worry too much. I think 2020 will be a year that we write off for many aspects life.
Your love life is not like a savings account you're not losing anything by not topping it up this year. Think of 2020 as me time.
I can totally relate to this and your journey. I was raised a Christian, my dad was heavily involved in the church.
I left the church behind about six years ago after finally realising I was never going to be able to be myself there and it was just holding me back from accepting who I was completely. My main circle of friends are Christians who I met at church and they are completely accepting of who I am and a great support network. So I feel I did gain something for that journey, at least.
I'm sorry that you experienced that and hope you are okay!
It's probably awkward already! I've been in this position once before (where I knew the friend was straight and so there was zero chance) and not telling him didn't help me at all. Telling him was the first step of getting past it for me.
There are definitely LGBT-inclusive Christian congregations, so if you feel that Christianity is helpful to you then it may be worth investigating those. For example, in the UK we have OneBodyOneFaith, which actively challenges homophobia and transphobia in the church while also organising LGBT-friendly Christian spaces and gatherings.
A lot of Christian denominations are trash but if you think that being a Christian gives you something positive then there are definitely options out there for you.
Honestly every time I come to this thread it’s so beautiful and life affirming-especially reading about people going through similar experiences as me. I wanted to echo @He cause I promise from experience even having a wonderful steady partner does not do away with self doubt and self hating thoughts and behaviors. I know it’s the biggest gay cliche but we have to learn to love ourselves first. And like @londonrain said sometimes that means trusting that those around us loves s enough to hear our most vulnerable moments. Take it from me, don’t leave things unsaid between you and a friend!
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