#37/37
CALADAN
6.972222222
My Score: 8
(@caladan, @japanbonustrack: 10) HIGHEST V. LOWEST (@Untouchable Ace: 2.5)
Noooooooooo!!!!!
@caladan was such an integral part of this rate, providing us with background information on songs as well as stanning
Halfaxa, and y’all kicked him off the island. And you only gave him a 6.9! WTF? Lil’ Regina Georges running rampant, I guess. In all seriousness, Caladan is a seriously great opener. I could not think of a better way to begin the journey that is Grimes’s discography. And it really is a song of journeys, if I’ve ever heard one. I love the jangly, rusty feel of it. Combined that with the chant-like melody and it feels like some kind of ancient, legendary pilgrimage.
Canterbury Tales could
never. I’d go as far as to argue that this is her
best opener. It sets the tone perfectly while being a great song in itself. Plus, I thank it for giving a good enough first impression that some of y’all actually dared to do this rate. Imagine if “Outer” or “Orphia” was our entryway into the Grimes experience. We’d probably be a voter pool of about five.
It even managed to pull in
happiestgirl (7) who is not shy about hating “fetus Grimes,” as
Sanctuary (6) so eloquently put it a page or so ago: “I love how creepy and mysterious and unfinished this sounds.”
constantino (7.5) also digs the creepiness: “Such a haunting intro to her discography! To this day, the eery production still holds up!” Meanwhile,
caladan (10) still spills the tea despite y’all’s tomfoolery and fuckery: “I got my username based on this fantastic song. The song is quite distorted and unusual but still melodic. By the way, Caladan is the home planet of the good guys (House Atreides) in the Dune universe. The bad guys are the House Harkonnen and their home planet is Giedi Prime. As you already guessed it, the album title is a pun.” Queen of Underrated Linguistic Devices!
Trouble in Paradise (6.5), who has a sixth sense that allows him to feel a song’s texture, says, “This song has always felt so soft to me in a way I can’t really describe but really enjoy.”
The song's so soft, he ain’t had nothing softer (though maybe he
has had softer since he only gave it a 6.5). Despite being a respected producer,
Mirwais Ahmadzai (7.5) doesn’t know his music theory: “A really nice album opener and introduction to Grimes. I don’t know anything about this kind of shit, but I feel like it’s sung in a minor key? Which I like the sound of…” It’s also a nice album opener for
Remorque, but on his scale that only equates to a 6: “It's nice sounding, but that's about it, I'm afraid. A lovely moodpiece.”
Xanax (7) sees it both a moodpiece and a thesis statement: “A very interesting opener to the album since it very much introduces the dichotomy of the albums sounds in such a smart way: by contrasting the very lo-fi, “brash“ instrumental in the very beginning with the clear instrumentation of the verses.”
Cutlery (9) sees a similar dialectic at work: “An initially somber and very characteristically lo-fi opener with plenty of appeal. Claire brings out the poet in her to deliver a charming guitar, piano and subtle synth affair that perfectly sets the mood for GP.” Does that stand for Giedi Primes or the general public? I, for one, still think Caladan has the potential to be that surprise summer smash.
YouTube Comments Section
Bronlokis: a 2 minute and 28 second long orgasm ( ^ . ^ )
dead people: the start sounds like someone's dropped there chicken nuggets on a piano
CBEMIRhubarb: DDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
WEREGILD
6.972222222
My Score: 6
(@japanbonustrack, @Cutlery, @caladan, @Xanax: 10) HIGHEST V. LOWEST (@HappyBirthday: 4)
*sweats* Why am I suddenly feeling the need to frantically defend my score? And why do the highest scorers suddenly look like angry, salivating werewolves? I didn't know just how passionate some of y’all were about this one. To be fair, I
might have underscored it a bit, but I don’t think by that much. Some aspects are brilliant: that intro where the synths instantly malfunction and crash over and over again, the generally crazy atmosphere, the uncharacteristically sweet bit where she sings “I was light and the sky/All bright at night (all the way),” which is possibly one of the most beautiful melody bits she has written. But for all that, the song as a whole is kind of a chore. It just lasts way too fucking long, to the point that I start to realize that it doesn’t really develop as much as it should even in spite of the kitchen sink production. I do appreciate Grimes’ immortalization of her cat though. When will your pets?
Cutlery (10) dedicates the beginning of his most recent novel to the feline in question: “Voignamir is such a legendary cat name, when will your fave? This mood piece goes quite into ambient territory, being enveloped in an aura of mystery throughout its very well used five minute run, while also keeping the electronics to a minimum and giving space for the diverse vocals to breathe. Somehow, the genius behind this masterpiece still manages to make it pop. My favorite thing is how the beat was reused in MSSTST, and the “I can't see waves on the radio” lyric was reused in Vanessa. A queen of REFERENCES teeb.” A “fuzzy dream/waiting and hesitating” tea.
caladan (10) perhaps needs to update his eye-glasses prescription: “
The blurry intro is about her cat Voignamir: "Say something for me, Voignamir." Weregild remains one of the highlights of the album. The song's title is about a restitution used in early germanic society.” Queen of educating her listeners.
Mirwais Ahmadzai (7.5) and
Trouble in Paradise (8) both love a witchy bop. Mirwais calls it, “Bewitching. The “I was blinded / The skies will brighten” melody is lovely” while Trouble in Paradise opines: “This is Grimes at her witchiest and I love it. There’s something transcendent when she gets all the pieces right in a song and this is one of the first in her discography that feels that way. Though that “And I hope/And I beg” keeps it from really reaching the upper echelon.” Elphaba and Sabrina the Teenage Witch found unemployed and destitute. Perhaps
Earth Intruders (7.5) is also destitute because he begins by begging: “And I hope... and I beg... and I pray. At first I thought this was way too much but now I quite like it.” It seems to have been instant for
constantino (8), who tells everybody to stream “I Am…Weregild Fierce” on their streaming app of choice: “This is fierce, I love the driving, nocturnal nymph quality this has. A standout on what is my least favourite album from her.” In a shocking turn of events,
happiestgirl (5) is…lukewarm toward a Halfaxa song: "This isn't bad but way too long.”
I feel the same way about this write-up, so we’ll end with
Xanax (10), who is living his best Weregild-life: “WHAT A SONG!!! The intro alone is worth 10 points. This is such an intense track. The beat, the witchy background noises, the vocal delivery…I could go on forever! Also this manages to follow a very clear structure yet it is so rich in its sonic palette and ideas.” Now excuse me while I run and hide.
YouTube Comments Section
Jo Jo: it's actually creepy when you are listening to this at 3 am while dancing and imagining some creatures dancing with you
Some Weirdo ;3: RIP Headphone users at the beggining
Scottish Scotman: it's about time cats get jobs?