Hahahaha I knew Cry Baby was next on the chopping block! See, despite apparently getting a lot of people fired up, it's not like my 10s prevented these songs' inevitable early exit. Now let's get to that MDNA cull shall we!
HELL NO. --- Also hearing people already thinking Girl Gone Wild is going soon gets me all feeling like 'oh no, here's the no-fun squad again!"
The only song I've ever been able to deal with that had any kind of baby noises, in this case giggling and calling for "mama" is this: Autotune Baby is a nightmare right off the bat and never ever gains any ground as far as I'm concerned. (2.5)
222 SCORE: 4.391 2015 PLACEMENT: 205 of 210 HIGHEST SCORE: 9.5 x 2 (@dancingwithmyself @Drew) LOWEST SCORE: 0 x 4 (@Babylon @NightmareBoy @clowezra @Mr Blonde) MY SCORE: 5/10 What's the problem with this one exactly? I've seen so many calls for it to go but I'm not really sure what it did to earn such ire. We've spoken a bit already about how Madonna carries a particular kind of frivolity in her music well rather than being a blanket expert at it (she's a blanket expert at most things so she's allowed some gaps in her talents) but I don't think this is one of the biggest offenders in her discography, particularly in the later eras where she's definitely gotten a bit more cavalier in terms of serving up songs for the giggles (we'll get to those, don't worry) so what gives? You can obviously tell by my score that I'm not that big a fan but at most, it's... inoffensive. A fairly sweet, lightweight, albeit corny love song. The lyrics are a cheesy mess at times but melodically it's definitely far more endearing than it is annoying. It has future Queen of Pop Lourdes on backing vocals for additional cuteness! My journey to double check the credits has... also taken me down quiTe the rabbit hole, readers. It actually became a promo single in Brazil when it was given away as a free CD with a newspaper in late 2012, complete with single cover hand-picked by Madonna from a competition that was run for fans to design their own. It's kind of a serve? There's also rumours of there being a completely fucked video for it in the vaults somewhere, in which Madonna is dressed a "terror bride" where the outfit is part traditional Islamic bridal veil and... part American military uniform (FUCK.) but it looks and sounds like total bullshit to me. All the articles I can find about it are around about October 2012, when she would have still been deep into touring, and considering how the video for "Turn Up The Radio" looked like it used the era's remaining $100 budget a few months prior, I doubt this would have got anything, let alone something elaborate. All the articles also simply reference "a source" so yeah, I'm debunking this for the time being until someone proves otherwise. Just another weird, weird rumour in a career full of them. Anyway, here are some other songs called "Superstar" that are better than this song called "Superstar". Sorry @Drew it's just the tea.
The most unsettling thing about my research: there's not an official upload of Jamelia's "Superstar" for some reason.
Yeah the only video on her official page is "Beware of the Dog". There's the HQ stream available but it might be geoblocked.
Great elimination. Of course, Jamelia's got the best "Superstar" song, but let me mention a few more that are better than Madonna's song:
It always surprises me to Superstar as so unpopular. There's nothing majorly wrong with it, other than a few duff lyrics. It's nowhere near a fave, but she's a cute girl. I feel like you could basically plop it onto 2/3rds of albums and it'd fit fine, because it's just that bland?
I mean, is it really a defence to say it's a cute girl? Like I don't think I've even thought of it since the last time I had to eliminate it five years ago, but there are far more songs deserving of barely scraping their way out of the Bottom 5 of her discography. And we'll be seeing those tonight!
