Yeah, Beat Goes On does everything right. A Hard Candy highlight. They did a good job of upgrading it from its cringey demo form.
217 SCORE: 5.373 2015 PLACEMENT: 191 of 210 (5.496) HIGHEST SCORE: 9.5 x 4 (@funkyg @Dangerous Maknae @elear @Andy French) LOWEST SCORE: 0 x 2 (@NightmareBoy @Touchofmyhand) MY SCORE: 6/10 You know what? Sorry, this is just hilarious and should be treated as such. At this point, Madonna doesn't need to prove that she's good at doing blue-flame-hot sensuality so I'm fully here for songs that maybe pop a few balloons of pomp and rigidity of the whole thing at this stage. Sometimes sex is funny. Sometimes the best sex is funny. So let the SEX Book creator have a biT of a laugh, kids. She knows what she's talking about. No, but seriously, I find it a weird point of contention. I remember when the album first came out and it was the usual parade of adjectives, "embarrassing", "desperate" ...like Madonna talking about being soaking wet, consenting to her guy not pulling out, and sticking her fucking grill in her mouth and campily listing kinks and sex acts as a lesson in sexology was a legitimate attempt to get us throbbing and she should be ashamed at how not turned on everyone is. I realise this was also the era Madonna became a bit obsessed with some shambolic stand up comedy, but this hits the mark for me. The funniest part of it is how it leads into the dreadfully maudlin "Messiah". I think there was also either a video or an alternate tour interlude that involved her being dressed as a teacher that never made out. She posted a selfie of her at a desk with a whip, but that might have just been a Wednesday morning for Queen. The links that I got in response to a Google search for both "madonna s.e.x. video" and "madonna s.e.x. teacher instagram" made me want to die, so I'm afraid it's up to one of y'all to go scrolling. The song was used on the Rebel Heart Tour as an interlude though, where it also interpolated elements of "Justify My Love", which is a legitimate panty soaker, folks. While Madonna was getting her brows done in quick change for the final act, four pairs of dancers of various genders and states of undress writhe on beds that look so cheap that I wouldn't be caught either dead or with my ankles at my ears in any of them. Good night!
Don't @ me but the idea of Madonna pegging Guy is legitimately a bit hot. Like you just know she absolutely gave it to him and maybe prompted a wee sexuality crisis in the process. Ugh queen.
217. S.E.X. - 5.373 218. Spanish Lesson - 4.997 219. Shoo-Bee-Doo - 4.948 220. More - 4.852 221. What Can You Lose - 4.436 222. Superstar - 4.391 223. Auto-Tune Baby - 4.121 224. Cry Baby - 3.367 225. I'm Going Bananas - 3.327 226. B-Day Song (Feat. M.I.A.) - 3.000 227. Hey You - 2.976
My biggest loss so far is Spanish Lesson (7). S.E.X. and Superstar could have lasted a bit longer too. I think we're reaching the point where all the obvious early eliminations are done, and things are getting more unpredictable. No idea what the next few cuts are going to be.
Ddd at the comments on her Bitch I’m Madonna social media post, they should all come here for the facts of true worst song.
One moment please. Mentally recontextualizing "Give Me All Your Luvin'" as the ~divorce album~'s pegging anthem.
