Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE | Page 161 | The Popjustice Forum

Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by RJF, Apr 19, 2020.

  1. RJF


    SCORE: 5.67

    2015 PLACEMENT: 164 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) of 210 (6.089)
    HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 3 (@relby @BreatheBox @fancygreen)
    LOWEST SCORE: 1 x 3 (@OSHi @godspeed @Babylon)
    MY SCORE: 7.5/10

    So what the literal shitting Christing fuck happened here girls? A drop of over forty places and a loss of half a point? Make it make sense, because this is genuinely pretty great. If the likes of "Cry Baby" and "I'm Going Bananas" are the absolute nadir of what Madonna was going for with this entire album, then "Back In Business" is the absolute peak of what it could be. Those slinky, sexy verses, the strings, the woozy, boozy brass flourishes throughout before it bows out with a bang at the end. Madonna's vocals revelling in playing the bad guy (The way her voice just licks around "I just wanted to thank you... for all that you lack." is sensual.) and the lyrics themselves being genuinely great; leaping from scathing to amusing to flirtatious all in a single verse. It's genuinely just an incredibly well-constructed throwback moment and a rock-solid pop song to boot. It's also the main reason Stephen Sondheim was recruited to the project, because like all of y'all, Warren Beatty has no taste and with every detail I learn about him, seems more and more like a seven foot tall stuck-up pile of boring. I can only assume that Madonna was with him because her bottom hurt just thinking about him, because between this and his miserable cameos during Truth Or Dare, I'm not all that fond.


    It took me a while to parse the details of this story because I couldn't hunt a proper explanation down, but basically: Sondheim was approached by Beatty after the latter was so offended by "Back In Business" (despite it being perfectly fit for purpose) that he reached out to the former to come along and take the reigns of the music. I kept finding reports of Sondheim re-writing "Back In Business" but he's nowhere to be found on the album credits. I finally figured out that he actually penned an entirely different song of the same name that plays in the film but was never officially released anywhere. Miss Beatty sure was particular and snobby about what was a essentially a comic book movie.

    Below is a link to the scene where Sondheim's "Back In Business" plays, just so you can see what was apparently more acceptable for everyone involved. Spoiler: it's more obnoxiously on-the-nose, era-appropriate pastiche. I mean I'm just guessing Madonna's version was originally meant to play over this scene, but don't think it's too big a leap of logic to make. There's also a full version of this on YouTube that appears to have only resurfaced in the last few years, but I think two minutes of this inane garbage is enough punishment for y'all... at least for now.

  2. RJF


  3. Back In Business' tinny canned production lets it down a lot (common problem across the album) but I've come to appreciate it a lot more over the years. The verses only really.
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  4. Yeah, bar Vogue, that is the finest moment on I'm Tasteless – which apparently sold 7 million? I can't tell if I'm disgusted or impressed by Ms. Mahoney's power.
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  5. Back In Business (which I gave an 8) before Hanky Panky? Make it make sense indeed. Unlike most of this album, Back In Business sounds cool and fresh. The verses are excellent.
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2020
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  6. Well my hot take on this is that in the thread people were damn extra with the average scoring of the accompanying album in an almost competition who hates it the most, cause apparently being anti of I'm Breathless is an acquired taste for a Madonna stan.
  7. Well, my last low score went (Pretender, which I scored a 4), so I only had a hot minute to feel self-satisfied before my first 10 was torpedoed (Back in Business)... I'll just be over here living my best cartoon villainess life, plotting revenge to these immaculate Donna and Niki backing vocals!
    Remorque and phoenix123 like this.
  8. Oh no...not Back In Business...while basic shit like Superpop is still in? To me, I'm Breathless has at least 7 great tracks and she sounded SO GOOD and so sexy on the album...I knew that it's not particularly liked by the stans but i didnt know it was THAT hated ":\"
    Remorque, M24, Maki and 1 other person like this.
  9. Now girls, Back in Business is pretty solid. Hanky Panky is awful but I guess y'all's kinky, red asses can relate to it huh
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  10. Lila

    Lila Staff Member

    I can’t pretend I’m devastated by the loss but there is definitely a contingent in here who gave everything on I’m Breathless extremely low scores just to get the likes on their average.
  11. I gave Back In Business 8. I’ve always wondered why there was a totally different terrible song with the same name not sung by Madonna in the actual film so thanks for elaborating on that! I would have turfed out He’s A Man before this.
  12. See also Evita nn
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  13. Back In Business reminds me of the background music they play in Rugrats because of the doo-doo-doos in the verses dddd
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  14. "Back In Business" going before "Hanky Panky", among other songs, is a damn mess.
  15. Well I'm completely out of taste (instead of back in business) obviously, because I really love I'm Breathless and Evita. I've always adored how Madonna changed her image, her personality, her music, her voice - with I'm Breathless she incorporates the 30s movie star, but Evita is something different - she is playing herself in this role. Who has this "star quality" (Buenos Aires) like Evita, like Diana if not Madonna? And I love the musical, it has such beautiful melodies, such great dancing scenes. And Madonna did it, no-one ever believed she could, but she really made this role her own.

    But Bedtime Stories nearly made me lose the faith in Madonna. I really find it weak.

    And I believe in my right to like the Madonna album of my choice so I still believe in me and don't hide in a cupboard.
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2020
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  16. Besides its good vocals (especially on tour) and cool intro, Hanky Panky has nothing going for it. I can't imagine somebody actually listening to it in headphones for enjoyment.
    Cutlery likes this.
  17. I used to adore Pretender but realized it was actually weak dd. Still I gave it an 8 or so. I don't find it BAD like pushing the whole album down, it's very on the line with everything else on the album and there's actually... worst stuff in there. Already out, thank god.
    Maki likes this.
  18. RJF


    As someone who has actually seen everyone's votes, I will agree there was a slight trend in overall album opinion seeming to rule scoring. Like if someone thought an album was horrible or amazing, it appeared to decide what end of the keyboard they were going to be using exclusively for their scores, which... felt a little silly, if ultimately hard to police. Madonna's worst albums have good songs on them, and her best albums have songs that... aren't up to much. That's just the nature of being a popstar. If I felt it made a big dent in things I would have acted, but with 165 people voting it's hard for trends like that to have sway.
  19. Strangely, I think I was at the height of my fandom in 1990 - coming off the back of the Like A Prayer album and Vogue I played my Hanky Panky 7” to death that summer so it probably got about 2 extra points for nostalgic value alone.
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  20. I have a theory that the more ‘vintage’ amongst us probably score ‘I’m Breathless’ higher because we were around at the time and lived through it so are more invested. I think if was (a lot) younger and listening to it for the first time I possibly may not love it as it is an outlier in her discography. This theory may also be complete crap.

    My average for the album is 7.5 which I imagine is on the high side compared to most of the 165 voters.
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