Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by RJF, Apr 19, 2020.
2015 PLACEMENT: 165 of 210 (6.088)
HIGHEST SCORE: 9.5 x 2 (@joeee @Music Is Life)
LOWEST SCORE: 0 x 1 (@Ramalama)
MY SCORE: 6/10
Why do none of the men who assisted in making Hard Candy ever shut the fuck up on any of their tracks? If it's not Pharrell yipping and hollering all over everything, it's Justin Timberlake murmuring in your ear and turning your insides cold. I suppose this kind of works because it's under the pretence of Madonna being escorted to a club she was already going to anyway by a hot  young thing, and I'm also guessing that it was so most tracks could have a (Feat.) tacked onto them if they were ever made into singles to assist with radio, which wasn't at the point it is now where programmers are actively sticking pins in Madonna voodoo dolls to try and take her out. Although they were pretty close to it.
As someone who thinks Timbaland was behind the best of what Hard Candy had to offer, I think this was probably one of the weaker offerings from his batch. My score feels like it was higher simply because I wasn't dealing with "Incredible" any more, but yeah, it's just a bit anaemic. When you're dealing with someone who basically invented The Bop as we know it, lukewarm disco reheats with half the energy missing aren't going to work. Even Madonna sounds like she knows the jig is up here, delivering what must be one of most sedate vocals ever. I think the entire thing is shooting to be cool, but instead it just ends up being cold. There's not any interesting story behind it, and it didn't even make it out onto the Sticky & Sweet setlist despite the fact that I'm not sure that tour has even finished yet, so that should tell you everything. Bye!
I once read an article about her 50 best songs or something (Rolling Stone maybe?) and Dance 2night was the only song from Hard Candy to make the list. I was like "... her?"
After "Spanish Lesson" and "Incredible", "Dance 2Night" is the correct third elimination from "Hard Candy".
It's not a bad song at all, though it's too lukewarm to cause any feedback or greater praise.
Oh, and hey @Music Is Life! Nice to see you among the highest scorers for the first time in this rate.
Wait why is Funana still in?
I enjoyed Dance 2night, but I see what you mean about Madonna sounding disengaged. Hopefully the next Hard Candy cut will be Candy Shop.
Finally. I hate Justin Timberlake and his smug fucking face and his stupid fucking voice SO FUCKING MUCH. He fills me with RAGE. I categorically cannot agree that:
But as someone who stans Sweetener and Kylie's I Was Gonna Cancel, I'm clearly not averse to Pharrelliams.
Much like Beautiful Scars, Dance 2Night is a little too sedated and has the added misfortune of Justin Timberlake doing... nothing for it, but alas I still dig the sound of both songs
I love Hard Candy but I don't understand what she was doing with J****n T********e at that time. I mean, in hindsight I'd have expected of her to steer clear of white male trash like him.
Because it is a very good song.
That was such a well written write up, loved it.
Dance 2night is cute but I’m not too bothered to see it go, I can understand comments suggesting the lack of enthusiasm in the vocal delivery.
I do quite like the 80s music production, it’s kind of how the album was sold in the release interviews, the Beat Goes On did it much better though.
Voices should have gone first.
I knew Borrowed Time didn't have long to go, but I'm still kind of annoyed at it tumbling already. I found the results puzzling in 2015 and I find them even more puzzling in 2020. It's really quite fine? Certainly a lot better than any of the other Super Deluxe tracks, and a handful of standard/deluxe tracks too. I know the album has 73 songs on it but it most definitely is not in Rebel Heart's bottom 5 like the results have made it out to be.
Borrowed Time is my favourite out of the super deluxe tracks, I’ve always had a soft spot for this one, from the moment I heard the initial demo leaks. But I’ve seen it dragged enough over the past few years so I’m not surprised to see it go.
Sooner or Later does kind of seem like a victim of I'm Breathless hate, which is not irrational, but Sooner or Later is clearly a good song IMO. It sounds classic. I gave it an 8.
There's a great song buried in History, as evidenced by the demo, which bops HARD, but the released version is way too sleepy. She completely ruined the melody and sucked every bit of energy out of it. Not sure what they were thinking. All that earns a 5.
As for the newest eliminations, I think Dance Tonight is classy and glitzy sounding, but it's also a chore to listen to. The verse melodies particularly put me to sleep. I gave it a 6.
Borrowed Time is solid but some of the lyrics are a bit cringe. I absolutely love the dreamy production. It goes a long way toward lessening the cheese factor. Overall, the song is an easy 7, mostly because of that production.
Dance 2Nite is the warm disco all your baguettes beg for you just hate it because Justin ruins it ddd.
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