143 SCORE: 6.915 2015 PLACEMENT: DOWN 30 - 113 of 210 (7.01) HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 10 (@nikkysan @funkyg @P'NutButter @eatyourself @Dangerous Maknae @GimmeWork @Up Down Suite @FridayNight @joeee @sexercise) LOWEST SCORE: 1 x 1 (@NightmareBoy) MY SCORE: 7/10 If I had known Rebel Heart was going to bomb this hard I would have given this a far higher score! On paper, this really shouldn't even amount to what it is. Madonna, Tommy Brown, Kanye West, Martin Kierszenbaum, and... Cruel Youth FKA Teddy Sinclair FKA Natalia Kills FKA Verbalicious are the collective writers here, with Mike Dean on production and... we get a pulsing, jittering, structurefuck of a pop song all about Madonna's pussy tasting literally divine complete with an interpolation from "Vogue", which Cruel Youth FKA Teddy Sinclair FKA Natalia Kills FKA Verbalicious would then allegedly recycle the hook from for Rihanna's "Kiss It Better" the year later. Can someone? Because I can't. Bizarrely enough, after having a fairly tepid response to it when the album first came out, I think it's been one of the tracks with considerable staying power in the last five years. Something about the twitching, sparse production just makes it so intriguing still, and it's such an utterly absurd concept brought to life in a doubly absurd manner that it's hard to not get swept up in its fun. Like, the stock porn moans punctuating each line in the chorus. Scream. She knew what she was doing. I do get why it's dropping out now though; this kind of vulgarity can be a little... divisive at the stage Madonna is at now. The song received an absolutely standout performance during the Rebel Heart Tour which was suitably OTT for an OTT song. Sexy nuns using crucifixes (crucifi?) as stripper poles, along with Madonna presenting her clit for dessert during a recreation of The Last Supper. I cannot believe that is a sentence I just typed out. If it had been done in the 80s I'm pretty sure the Vatican would have exploded in hellfire, although it did have to get cut from the setlist in Singapore. You really cannot make this shit up. Who else's career? NO ONE'S. I've also linked to Fenty Beauty founder and retired popstar Rihanna's "Kiss It Better" as well, because honestly, what a JAM.