Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE | Page 270 | The Popjustice Forum

Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by RJF, Apr 19, 2020.

  1. RJF



    SCORE: 6.915

    2015 PLACEMENT: DOWN 30 - 113 of 210 (7.01)
    HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 10 (@nikkysan @funkyg @P'NutButter @eatyourself @Dangerous Maknae @GimmeWork @Up Down Suite @FridayNight @joeee @sexercise)
    LOWEST SCORE: 1 x 1 (@NightmareBoy)
    MY SCORE: 7/10

    If I had known Rebel Heart was going to bomb this hard I would have given this a far higher score! On paper, this really shouldn't even amount to what it is. Madonna, Tommy Brown, Kanye West, Martin Kierszenbaum, and... Cruel Youth FKA Teddy Sinclair FKA Natalia Kills FKA Verbalicious are the collective writers here, with Mike Dean on production and... we get a pulsing, jittering, structurefuck of a pop song all about Madonna's pussy tasting literally divine complete with an interpolation from "Vogue", which Cruel Youth FKA Teddy Sinclair FKA Natalia Kills FKA Verbalicious would then allegedly recycle the hook from for Rihanna's "Kiss It Better" the year later. Can someone? Because I can't.

    Bizarrely enough, after having a fairly tepid response to it when the album first came out, I think it's been one of the tracks with considerable staying power in the last five years. Something about the twitching, sparse production just makes it so intriguing still, and it's such an utterly absurd concept brought to life in a doubly absurd manner that it's hard to not get swept up in its fun. Like, the stock porn moans punctuating each line in the chorus. Scream. She knew what she was doing. I do get why it's dropping out now though; this kind of vulgarity can be a little... divisive at the stage Madonna is at now.

    The song received an absolutely standout performance during the Rebel Heart Tour which was suitably OTT for an OTT song. Sexy nuns using crucifixes (crucifi?) as stripper poles, along with Madonna presenting her clit for dessert during a recreation of The Last Supper. I cannot believe that is a sentence I just typed out. If it had been done in the 80s I'm pretty sure the Vatican would have exploded in hellfire, although it did have to get cut from the setlist in Singapore. You really cannot make this shit up. Who else's career? NO ONE'S. I've also linked to Fenty Beauty founder and retired popstar Rihanna's "Kiss It Better" as well, because honestly, what a JAM.

  2. At the risk of blowing it, let me say I'm really satisfied to see Dark Ballet and I'm So Stupid as 7+, top 150 songs. Not every Madonna song has that
    Music Is Death, Filippa and Maki like this.
  3. At 3.5 it was my lowest score left. I prefer other Rebel Heart songs that have left already.
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2020
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  4. Rebel Heart has been handled horribly, voters!
  5. Holy Water and Body Shop are the songs I come back to the most from the album so this is a bit sad. That live performance tho sksksksksksk
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  6. LTG


    In the 2025 rate I’m going to have to run a pro-Rebel Heart AND a pro-Hard Candy campaign.
  7. So just like the track list and the album campaign then.
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2020
  8. It took me a long time to warm up to Holy Water but when it did, it did.
  9. "Holy Water" is a BANGER and I still come back to it more than I would expect. Y'all messed up with this one.
  10. We get locked out of the forum for an entire day and this is what I come back to?
  11. Holy Water is a modern-day highlight but I actually expected it to fall earlier because I imagined it would be divisive. Good showing for it, but it’s about time we lose some of the merely pleasant album cuts from elsewhere. Eyes on Music.
  12. Anyone who gives this a low score will be hearing from me.

    Holy Water, it’s top tier Rebel Heart for me!
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2020
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  13. Holy Water is awesome. The girls can stay mad at this 2010s highlight.
    djmakemewet likes this.
  14. I still have 24 songs with scores of either 5, 5.5 or 6. So hopefully a lot of these will get the chop next, though I'm willing to bet some will be here for a while longer. Namely the American Life tracks.
    Where's The Party
    Why's it so Hard
    Little Star
    Nobody's Perfect
    Nobody Knows Me
    X-Static Process
    Mother and Father
    Easy Ride
    How High
    Devil Wouldn't Recognise You
    Love Spent
    Falling Free
    Body Shop
    Rebel Heart
    Extreme Occident
    Looking for Mercy
    This Used to be My Playground
    Goodbye To Innocence
    I'll Remember
    You Must Love Me
    Don't Cry For Me Argentina
    Time Stood Still
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2020
  15. So what you're saying is that you scored Masterpiece higher than all of these tracks?

  16. She got a cute 6.5.
  17. "Gambler" is a damn bop and I just knew it was going to end up underrated.
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  18. I do love Gambler and I hate how it’s basically ignored by Madonna and unavailable digitally, I do wonder if this is half of the reason for the lack of love from the fan base?
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  19. I gave Masterpiece a 10.
    torontodj and Maki like this.
  20. M24


    I know I'm like a hundred pages late, but I fully stand by my 1 for Future. It's a bland song, doesn't stand out in any way, and in the context of Madonna's overall discography, that warrants a very low score. Plus, Unapologetic Bitch does the reggae vibe much better.

    Anyway, I feel like even though it was my first era as a fan, Madame X is doing better than I expected on this rate. I mean, I enjoyed the album a lot as an "experience", but some tracks really should've left sooner and stayed here too long (Future, Bitch I'm Loca), and others should be leaving pretty soon (Faz Gostoso, Come Alive, I Rise). The rest does deserve to make top 100 and beyond.
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