Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE | Page 277 | The Popjustice Forum

Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by RJF, Apr 19, 2020.

  1. RJF


  2. RJF



    SCORE: 7.058

    2015 PLACEMENT: DOWN 6 - 131 of 210 (6.76)
    HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 6 (@eatyourself @DJHazey @soratami @Phonetics Boy @DinahLee @Holly Something)
    LOWEST SCORE: 2 x 1 (@Euphoria)
    MY SCORE: 6/10

    And we're back to clogging arteries in Rebel Heart! Yes, despite boasting collaborators such as Diplo, Toby Gad, and the hallowed Ariel Rechtshaid, and at one point even rumoured to be the album's title during the slew of leaks and that even weirder period of time where all the fan sites were posting extensive *~exclusives~* because all the traders were circle jerking to everything they had bought or stole from Madonna's hard drive, "Unapologetic Bitch" bows out of the rate. It's not all that bad; it has experienced a slight uptick in its score, and not fallen nearly as far as some of its other album pals either. So not too bad from a song that has always been a bit abrasive.

    Let me lay out: it's good. It's a good track. The way the dancehall production sways and lurches around her, occasionally offering a dissonant air horn is great. I think the lyrics are funny and biting, and generally, if I had to pick between this and "Gang Bang" as acerbic kiss-off anthems to useless men, I would pick this one every time. It's just better constructed all the way around, but Muffy sis... the mastering. They should have jailed Demo while they were sentencing Madonna's hacker, because I'm not sure who did her dirtier. There's so much going on here and it all kind of gets crushed together like when you choose Flatten Layers at the very end of a Photoshop project so all the different layers you've been working on become nothing but what's directly visible. So much of Madonna's delivery and cadence gets lost in the mushmouthery of how her vocals have been treated, and that's not even counting the way she's basically fighting with the otherwise excellent production. It feels a lot like a wasted opportunity, and makes for a frustrating listen overall despite the song itself being great.

    The track acted as the finale to the Rebel Heart Tour... well before the encore but you get what I mean. It was probably the cause of the most press and buzz as it involved Madonna picking someone from the audience to come up on stage, and that person was frequently a celebrity. Madonna would more or less engage them with a bit of banter and a spanking before sending them on their way with a banana for no real reason. It was cute! I was very drunk by this point of the show at my date but of course the guy in Glasgow was wearing a kilt. Here's a full list of Unapologetic Bitches you might care about:

    • Diplo
    • Amy Schumer (who was already in the building since she did stand up that night as Madonna's support, if I remember correctly)
    • Anderson Cooper
    • David Banda
    • ...Derrick fucking Barry, as Britney Spears, because of course.
    • Nelly Furtado
    • Katy Perry
    • Jessica Chastain
    • Idris Elba
    • Rita Ora, continuing her streak of showing up at literally everything
    • Alexander Elebro
    • Fausto Puglisi
    • Jon Kortajarena
    • Graham Norton
    • Stella McCartney
    • Jean Paul Gaultier
    • Christine & The Queens
    • Mercy James
    • Ariana Grande
    • Eason Chan
    • Courtney Act
    • ...and Gwendoline Christie, who is literally three times Madonna's height.

  3. jlksfadjdklasdj Gwendoline Christie being the Unapologetic Bitch that night was iconic. She's such a stan.

  4. Y'all did Unapologetic Bitch wrong I think it might be my biggest loss thus far at a 9/10 dd.
  5. This rate is a mess.
    DJHazey and Phonetics Girl like this.
  6. Iconic writeup and a track that left too soon. @RJF am I correct to believe it actually rose a bit compared to the last time or are there not 6 tracks left from Madame X?

    Also sad this has gone before Bitch I'm Madonna
    Holly Something likes this.
  7. Unapologetic Bitch is a hard one. It wavered between 9 and 10. But Bitch I'm Madonna is a 10 for sure.
    Music Is Death, R27, evilsin and 24 others like this.
  9. I like Unapologetic Bitch, but I don't really like it. I'd have seen a few other Rebel Heart eliminees outlast this.
    Maki, Chezam, Jwentz and 3 others like this.
  10. How is Body Shop outlasting all these songs?
  11. K94


    I gave Unapologetic Bitch a 7.5 but probably should have scored slightly higher - the way that breakdown goes off
    Holly Something likes this.
  12. Unapologetic Bop is amazing.

    Some of you miserable bores need to be damn sorry.
    Music Is Death, RMK, evilsin and 14 others like this.
  13. RJF


    There are nine tracks left from Madame X, so if you want to do it that way, it's UP 3. I actually toyed with the idea of doing the 2015 placement section like this, but ultimately it's not like those Madame X tracks would be there if people didn't like them better, so I think it still shows how opinions have changed.

    Oh, and whenever we're ready to have the conversation about "I Don't Search I Find" being literal nonsense set to a generic house beat and only still being in because y'all fucking nut at just the mention of "a generic house beat", I'm ready. I didn't get nearly enough chances to drag uninspired dance music this year given Chromatica's six hour long album campaign.
  14. Well I am glad my reaching made me find some solace.
  15. That Rita Ora drag in the Unapologetic Bitch write-up is better and saltier than the song itself.

    As for the last two Madame X eliminations ... People can’t actually be clutching their pearls over these slogs? Save your breath for the actual good ballads/meditative songs like, say, Easy Ride, which did the “life is a circle” metaphor first and a hell of a lot better at that.
  16. RJF


    For anyone curious, I'm going to stop posting the leaderboard every day once we reach the halfway point, and instead it'll be replaced with me posting a list of the remaining songs. The leaderboard will still be updated with every elimination of course, but I think it'll be nice to change things up at that point.

    137. Unapologetic Bitch - 7.058
    137. Extreme Occident - 7.058
    139. Looking For Mercy - 7.042
    140. You Must Love Me - 7.024
    141. Goodbye To Innocence - 7.009
    142. Gang Bang - 6.939
    143. Holy Water - 6.915
    144. Gambler - 6.912
    145. Think Of Me - 6.906
    146. Beat Goes On (Feat. Kanye West) - 6.894
    147. Beautiful Killer - 6.884
    148. Hold Tight - 6.873
    149. The Look Of Love - 6.824
    150. Future (Feat. Quavo) - 6.8
    151. Batuka - 6.791
    152. Voices - 6.785
    153. Best Night - 6.755
    154. Veni Vidi Vici (Feat. Nas) - 6.752
    154. Broken (I'm Sorry) - 6.752
    156. Shanti / Ashtangi - 6.73
    157. Addicted - 6.712
    158. Iconic (Feat. Chance The Rapper & Mike Tyson) - 6.702
    158. Ciao Bella - 6.702
    160. Spotlight - 6.694
    161. I Love New York - 6.652
    162. Messiah - 6.639
    163. Love Song - 6.621
    163. I'd Rather Be Your Lover - 6.621
    165. Supernatural - 6.615
    166. Candy Shop - 6.588
    167. Wash All Over Me - 6.561
    168. HeartBreakCity - 6.558
    169. Bitch I'm Loca (Feat. Maluma) - 6.548
    170. Your Honesty - 6.524
    171. Beautiful Scars - 6.461
    172. Something To Remember - 6.458
    173. Love Don't Live Here Anymore - 6.448
    174. Over And Over - 6.433
    175. Another Suitcase In Another Hall - 6.409
    176. Stay - 6.367
    177. Don't Stop - 6.339
    178. Girl Gone Wild - 6.324
    179. I Know It - 6.267
    180. Act Of Contrition - 6.245
    181. Fighting Spirit - 6.227
    182. I Don't Give A (Feat. Nicki Minaj) - 6.203
    183. It's So Cool - 6.191
    184. Illuminati - 6.167
    185. Funana - 6.161
    186. Dance 2Night - 6.152
    187. Borrowed Time - 6.118
    187. History - 6.118
    189. Sooner Or Later - 6.109
    189. One More Chance - 6.109
    191. Back That Up To The Beat - 6.076
    192. Let Down Your Guard - 6.036
    193. Killers Who Are Partying - 6.015
    194. I'm A Sinner - 6.012
    195. I Fucked Up - 5.964
    196 - Some Girls - 5.933
    197. He's A Man - 5.924
    198. Give Me All Your Luvin' (Feat. Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.) - 5.921
    199. Buenos Aires - 5.894
    200. Super Pop - 5.848
    201. Revolver (Feat. Lil Wayne) - 5.827
    202. Can't Stop - 5.776
    203. Ain't No Big Deal - 5.736
    204. Turn Up The Radio - 5.727
    205. Best Friend - 5.721
    206. Graffiti Heart - 5.697
    207. Hanky Panky - 5.691
    208. Love Makes The World Go Round - 5.679
    209. Back In Business - 5.67
    210. Pretender - 5.661
    211. Lament - 5.615
    212. Cyber-Raga - 5.603
    213. Incredible - 5.545
    214. Jimmy Jimmy - 5.521
    215. Now I'm Following You - 5.497
    216. Ring My Bell - 5.424
    217. S.E.X. - 5.373
    218. Spanish Lesson - 4.997
    219. Shoo-Bee-Doo - 4.948
    220. More - 4.852
    221. What Can You Lose - 4.436
    222. Superstar - 4.391
    223. Auto-Tune Baby - 4.121
    224. Cry Baby - 3.367
    225. I'm Going Bananas - 3.327
    226. B-Day Song (Feat. M.I.A.) - 3.000
    227. Hey You - 2.976
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  18. K94


    Tired of American Pie's presence

    BTG, Sail On, R27 and 8 others like this.
  19. I scrolled too fast and thought Future Lovers had been eliminated.


    (Also the calling for American Pie is upsetting me and my homegirl. How are y'all going to come for her warm honey-drizzled voquelles like that?)
  20. Another set of important moments in this woman's career falling out of the race while the the four and a half minute tuneless hot garbage that is I'm Addicted still remains is a far greater crime than American Pie's pity votes taking it a wee bit beyond its natural lifespan.
    Phonetics Girl, FridayNight and Maki like this.
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