Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by RJF, Apr 19, 2020.
*STUTTERING AIR HORN*
2015 PLACEMENT: DOWN 6 - 131 of 210 (6.76)
HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 6 (@eatyourself @DJHazey @soratami @Phonetics Boy @DinahLee @Holly Something)
LOWEST SCORE: 2 x 1 (@Euphoria)
MY SCORE: 6/10
And we're back to clogging arteries in Rebel Heart! Yes, despite boasting collaborators such as Diplo, Toby Gad, and the hallowed Ariel Rechtshaid, and at one point even rumoured to be the album's title during the slew of leaks and that even weirder period of time where all the fan sites were posting extensive *~exclusives~* because all the traders were circle jerking to everything they had bought or stole from Madonna's hard drive, "Unapologetic Bitch" bows out of the rate. It's not all that bad; it has experienced a slight uptick in its score, and not fallen nearly as far as some of its other album pals either. So not too bad from a song that has always been a bit abrasive.
Let me lay out: it's good. It's a good track. The way the dancehall production sways and lurches around her, occasionally offering a dissonant air horn is great. I think the lyrics are funny and biting, and generally, if I had to pick between this and "Gang Bang" as acerbic kiss-off anthems to useless men, I would pick this one every time. It's just better constructed all the way around, but Muffy sis... the mastering. They should have jailed Demo while they were sentencing Madonna's hacker, because I'm not sure who did her dirtier. There's so much going on here and it all kind of gets crushed together like when you choose Flatten Layers at the very end of a Photoshop project so all the different layers you've been working on become nothing but what's directly visible. So much of Madonna's delivery and cadence gets lost in the mushmouthery of how her vocals have been treated, and that's not even counting the way she's basically fighting with the otherwise excellent production. It feels a lot like a wasted opportunity, and makes for a frustrating listen overall despite the song itself being great.
The track acted as the finale to the Rebel Heart Tour... well before the encore but you get what I mean. It was probably the cause of the most press and buzz as it involved Madonna picking someone from the audience to come up on stage, and that person was frequently a celebrity. Madonna would more or less engage them with a bit of banter and a spanking before sending them on their way with a banana for no real reason. It was cute! I was very drunk by this point of the show at my date but of course the guy in Glasgow was wearing a kilt. Here's a full list of Unapologetic Bitches you might care about:
Amy Schumer (who was already in the building since she did stand up that night as Madonna's support, if I remember correctly)
...Derrick fucking Barry, as Britney Spears, because of course.
Rita Ora, continuing her streak of showing up at literally everything
Jean Paul Gaultier
Christine & The Queens
...and Gwendoline Christie, who is literally three times Madonna's height.
jlksfadjdklasdj Gwendoline Christie being the Unapologetic Bitch that night was iconic. She's such a stan.
Y'all did Unapologetic Bitch wrong I think it might be my biggest loss thus far at a 9/10 dd.
This rate is a mess.
Iconic writeup and a track that left too soon. @RJF am I correct to believe it actually rose a bit compared to the last time or are there not 6 tracks left from Madame X?
Also sad this has gone before Bitch I'm Madonna
Unapologetic Bitch is a hard one. It wavered between 9 and 10. But Bitch I'm Madonna is a 10 for sure.
I like Unapologetic Bitch, but I don't really like it. I'd have seen a few other Rebel Heart eliminees outlast this.
How is Body Shop outlasting all these songs?
I gave Unapologetic Bitch a 7.5 but probably should have scored slightly higher - the way that breakdown goes off
Unapologetic Bop is amazing.
Some of you miserable bores need to be damn sorry.
There are nine tracks left from Madame X, so if you want to do it that way, it's UP 3. I actually toyed with the idea of doing the 2015 placement section like this, but ultimately it's not like those Madame X tracks would be there if people didn't like them better, so I think it still shows how opinions have changed.
Oh, and whenever we're ready to have the conversation about "I Don't Search I Find" being literal nonsense set to a generic house beat and only still being in because y'all fucking nut at just the mention of "a generic house beat", I'm ready. I didn't get nearly enough chances to drag uninspired dance music this year given Chromatica's six hour long album campaign.
Well I am glad my reaching made me find some solace.
That Rita Ora drag in the Unapologetic Bitch write-up is better and saltier than the song itself.
As for the last two Madame X eliminations ... People can’t actually be clutching their pearls over these slogs? Save your breath for the actual good ballads/meditative songs like, say, Easy Ride, which did the “life is a circle” metaphor first and a hell of a lot better at that.
For anyone curious, I'm going to stop posting the leaderboard every day once we reach the halfway point, and instead it'll be replaced with me posting a list of the remaining songs. The leaderboard will still be updated with every elimination of course, but I think it'll be nice to change things up at that point.
137. Unapologetic Bitch - 7.058
137. Extreme Occident - 7.058
139. Looking For Mercy - 7.042
140. You Must Love Me - 7.024
141. Goodbye To Innocence - 7.009
142. Gang Bang - 6.939
143. Holy Water - 6.915
144. Gambler - 6.912
145. Think Of Me - 6.906
146. Beat Goes On (Feat. Kanye West) - 6.894
147. Beautiful Killer - 6.884
148. Hold Tight - 6.873
149. The Look Of Love - 6.824
150. Future (Feat. Quavo) - 6.8
151. Batuka - 6.791
152. Voices - 6.785
153. Best Night - 6.755
154. Veni Vidi Vici (Feat. Nas) - 6.752
154. Broken (I'm Sorry) - 6.752
156. Shanti / Ashtangi - 6.73
157. Addicted - 6.712
158. Iconic (Feat. Chance The Rapper & Mike Tyson) - 6.702
158. Ciao Bella - 6.702
160. Spotlight - 6.694
161. I Love New York - 6.652
162. Messiah - 6.639
163. Love Song - 6.621
163. I'd Rather Be Your Lover - 6.621
165. Supernatural - 6.615
166. Candy Shop - 6.588
167. Wash All Over Me - 6.561
168. HeartBreakCity - 6.558
169. Bitch I'm Loca (Feat. Maluma) - 6.548
170. Your Honesty - 6.524
171. Beautiful Scars - 6.461
172. Something To Remember - 6.458
173. Love Don't Live Here Anymore - 6.448
174. Over And Over - 6.433
175. Another Suitcase In Another Hall - 6.409
176. Stay - 6.367
177. Don't Stop - 6.339
178. Girl Gone Wild - 6.324
179. I Know It - 6.267
180. Act Of Contrition - 6.245
181. Fighting Spirit - 6.227
182. I Don't Give A (Feat. Nicki Minaj) - 6.203
183. It's So Cool - 6.191
184. Illuminati - 6.167
185. Funana - 6.161
186. Dance 2Night - 6.152
187. Borrowed Time - 6.118
187. History - 6.118
189. Sooner Or Later - 6.109
189. One More Chance - 6.109
191. Back That Up To The Beat - 6.076
192. Let Down Your Guard - 6.036
193. Killers Who Are Partying - 6.015
194. I'm A Sinner - 6.012
195. I Fucked Up - 5.964
196 - Some Girls - 5.933
197. He's A Man - 5.924
198. Give Me All Your Luvin' (Feat. Nicki Minaj & M.I.A.) - 5.921
199. Buenos Aires - 5.894
200. Super Pop - 5.848
201. Revolver (Feat. Lil Wayne) - 5.827
202. Can't Stop - 5.776
203. Ain't No Big Deal - 5.736
204. Turn Up The Radio - 5.727
205. Best Friend - 5.721
206. Graffiti Heart - 5.697
207. Hanky Panky - 5.691
208. Love Makes The World Go Round - 5.679
209. Back In Business - 5.67
210. Pretender - 5.661
211. Lament - 5.615
212. Cyber-Raga - 5.603
213. Incredible - 5.545
214. Jimmy Jimmy - 5.521
215. Now I'm Following You - 5.497
216. Ring My Bell - 5.424
217. S.E.X. - 5.373
218. Spanish Lesson - 4.997
219. Shoo-Bee-Doo - 4.948
220. More - 4.852
221. What Can You Lose - 4.436
222. Superstar - 4.391
223. Auto-Tune Baby - 4.121
224. Cry Baby - 3.367
225. I'm Going Bananas - 3.327
226. B-Day Song (Feat. M.I.A.) - 3.000
227. Hey You - 2.976
Tired of American Pie's presence
I scrolled too fast and thought Future Lovers had been eliminated.
(Also the calling for American Pie is upsetting me and my homegirl. How are y'all going to come for her warm honey-drizzled voquelles like that?)
Another set of important moments in this woman's career falling out of the race while the the four and a half minute tuneless hot garbage that is I'm Addicted still remains is a far greater crime than American Pie's pity votes taking it a wee bit beyond its natural lifespan.
Separate names with a comma.