Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE | Page 281 | The Popjustice Forum

Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by RJF, Apr 19, 2020.

  1. RJF




    SCORE: 7.085

    2015 PLACEMENT: UP 14 - 149 of 210 (6.314)
    HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 13 (@Vasilios @Sprockrooster @Angeleyes @soratami @Up Down Suite @BreatheBox @citoig @Xanax @phoenix123 @Remorque @Trinu 3.0 @Holly Something @happiestgirl)
    LOWEST SCORE: 0 x 2 (@CasperFan @Mr Blonde)
    MY SCORE: 7/10

    Would anyone like another slice? No? Are you sure? Feels like a waste to throw all this away. But then I guess Madonna did that to 80% of the original song, so. Yes, "American Pie" finally bows out after becoming the target of the thread's ire for... quite some time. I don't know. I only ever read my own posts. Up fourteen places and surging from 6.3 to 7.0 isn't that bad a go at things though!

    Originally for the soundtrack for The Next Best Thing, a turn of the millennium box office turd (with apparently 19% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes) that Madonna was the co-lead of, she decided to cover the iconic Don McLean song at the encouragement of her co-star, Rupert Everett. Madonna, determined to not let a homosexual down, did as he asked, and it would turn out to be the only good decision he would have a hand in, because this was actually pretty huge. It's one of Madonna's thirteen No.1s in the UK, and hit the top spot in a load of other countries in Europe too. It even managed Top 30 on the Hot 100 despite having no official US release and nothing but strong radio play. Radio. Playing Madonna. Strongly. The day the music died indeed.

    I honestly think this is one of Madonna's prettiest vocals on record. She sounds sensational on it and just glides from line to line. The production job overall is absolutely pristine, which maybe clashes with the original heterosexual white grit of the original, but we have to remember who we're dealing with here: Madonna pulls you into her world; she isn't going into yours until you've satisfied the demands of her rider. I could have easily listened to all thirty verses of the original with the treatment M and William Orbit give it. In fact, both the between-era singles in this and "Beautiful Stranger" sound marvellous to this day. It also got the seal of approval from Don McLean himself, who said Madonna's version was "a gift from goddess" and "mystical and sensual" which is how people frequently describe my presence also.

    Despite having great success with it, it was never performed live even just once. It did get a Kelly Clarkson video before Kelly Clarkson was even Kelly Clarkson though, where Madonna casts a bunch of ugly Normals to illustrate the rich tapestry of the American BLAH BLAH BLAH enjoy!

  2. 'American Pie' is great.
  3. I don't get why it gets so much hatred, are people really that protective of the original song? I know I'd rather listen to Madonna's version on repeat. It's objectively a good song in any rendtion whether you recognize it or not.
  4. There was a time I enjoyed this song, it was nice
    Finally I can shut up
    phoenix123 and Future Lover like this.
  5. I hope Beautiful Stranger is kept unbothered for a few months though.
  6. I just remembered It Used To Be My Playground is also still in... that can definitely vacate now.
    tylerc904, Bangers&Bops, Lila and 6 others like this.
  7. LTG


    I think I say this every time this song is brought up, but we missed out on an 8 minute M + Orbit odyssey by them not doing the whole song. I'd hope it's in the vaults somewhere, but as Madonna's vaults get cleared out by hackers every couple of years, I feel there's no chance it exists.
    Music Is Death, stuaw, BTG and 5 others like this.
  8. 2014

    2014 Staff Member

    Add me to the I love American Pie clique!!
  9. “ugly Normals” is how I refer to every PJ user besides myself and @RJF
  10. I can understand why it's out so early, and I did expect it to be gone a little earlier, but the country gay in me is still disappointed.

  11. R27


    This isn’t terrible, but it just feels so unnecessary. Nothing about it really jumps out or makes it noteworthy. It comes off as really pretty and well-produced background music for me.
    acl and Maki like this.
  12. I was never a fan of American Pie, but somehow something about it suddenly clicked last year. Talk about a long time to warm up to a song.
  13. I honestly need an entire cover version
    DJHazey likes this.
  14. RJF





    SCORE: 7.091

    2015 PLACEMENT: UP
    9 - 143 of 210 (6.471)
    HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 9 (@nanafan @Dangerous Maknae @tylerc904 @Angeleyes @Sideout @joeee @eliminathan @Holly Something @Markus1981)
    LOWEST SCORE: 2 x 3 (@citoig @MrMannacroix @strangekin)
    MY SCORE: 5.5/10

    Madonna really tried everything to make people care about that film she directed in 2012, didn't she? To the point of even trying to Trojan horse it into album promo at the time, along with trying to dangle the carrot of there being a brand new song by her over the credits, enticing you both into the cinema and to stay to the end. Alas, it wasn't meant to be, and Wee! was another bruise to her film industry ego. Still, Madonna being Madonna, she managed to walk away from the wreckage with a trophy: Elton John's fumes. Yes, despite being connected to an absolute bomb of a movie, "Masterpiece" acting as W.E.'s closing credits song managed to net Madonna another Golden Globe, since the HFPA seems to be the only film-related body interested in actually awarding her outside of the Razzies. There are rumours of it also being in contention for an Oscar nom, but then the Academy saw she had a writing credit and therefore passed on it.

    It's... meh. After a slew of MDNA's frankly upsettingly bad dance-pop, there is something cleansing about being hit with that sombre guitar and spacious production, but the song itself isn't up to the task. The idea of finding a lover unapproachable in their perfection is a good one for a song, but Madonna did it far better and with far more emotional excavation in "X-Static Process" a decade earlier and with far better lyrics. Why is a thief in the night right by my side? Shouldn't they be, you know, stealing something, rather than watching me sleep? It's not entirely irredeemable; the chorus melody is stunning and honestly does about 80% of the heavy lifting in making it memorable, but then the far superior "Falling Free" comes straight after so it's all an exercise in futility. Oh well. At least it got mum an award!

    The song was performed during the MDNA Tour, and, if you ask me, was actually one of the unsung heroes of the set. It helped that it was also frequently the point in the show where Madonna got a little more candid. Enjoy!

  15. 1) American Pie haters don't deserve rights
    2) The best thing to come out of Masterpiece was M's Golden Globe win and Miss Elton getting her haughty ass handed to her
  16. RJF


    The best thing about the Elton/Madonna feud is how hilariously one-sided it has been. Elton seems pressed as hell about her very existence and Madonna... is just wondering why this toe with glasses and hair plugs is mad at her winning all the time.
  17. LTG


    Apparently Masterpiece starts too late within the credits to be eligible for Best Original Song at the Oscars. Her directing actually fucked up its chances of even getting a nom.
    Music Is Death, aux, Mvnl and 30 others like this.
  18. RJF


  19. What's even weirder is that for a hot second in the mid-90s he was actually friendly with her


    I would ask what changed, but I imagine the answer is stupid as hell as it always is with these arrogant queers who decide she's a Big Meanie and make it their defining personality trait so Elton can remain pressed!
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