Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE | Page 394 | The Popjustice Forum

Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by RJF, Apr 19, 2020.

  1. Imagine how fucking cynical your listening habits must be for Mer Girl to leave you unmoved. Couldn't be me.
  2. *looks at the users who liked this post*
  3. RJF


    Marginally, apparently.



    SCORE: 8.167

    2015 PLACEMENT: DOWN 9 - 58 of 210 (7.946)
    HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 30 (@funkyg @Vasilios @cheida @Dangerous Maknae @Sprockrooster @Remyky22 @GimmeWork @Andrew.L @Mjg0806 @Ana Raquel @fatyoshi @Modeblock @Coochi @DominoDancing @scottdisick94 @Robsolete @MilesAngel @unnameable @joeee @TrueBeliever @phoenix123 @Pop Life @ABoy’sGot2Suffer4Fashion @Remorque @Digital Ghost @MrMannacroix @ufint @Markus1981 @happiestgirl @Music Is Life)
    LOWEST SCORE: 3 x 1 (@RainOnFire)
    MY SCORE: 5/10

    Yeah, I don't like it. Sue me.

    "Material Girl" is one of Madonna's most iconic songs, and one of the most iconic pop songs of all time. This is not even hyperbole; this is fact. It is... in the lexicon. There will be children who don't even know who Madonna is but will know the phrase "material girl", such is the reach and power of this song. It is also one of the few defining Madonna hits that doesn't have her anywhere near the writing credits. Originally drawn to the song when she was at her peak in terms of career ambition and was obsessed with making it big, Madonna says that the song spoke to her because the titular material girl wasn't settling for anything less than the best. Nile Rodgers serves as the producer as he did for most of Like A Virgin, and you have pure pop alchemy. It, along with the seismic nature of "Like A Virgin", were arguably the foundation for Madonna becoming the Queen of Pop. We owe it a lot.

    ...but it's just a bit annoying, isn't it?

    Okay, I'll admit: I'm looking at my 5/10 at the moment and thinking that it was maybe a little petty even for me, but... does anyone even really seek out "Material Girl" actively at this point? Out of all of Madonna's most famous songs, is anyone actually willingly putting it on to bop? I don't think I've ever sought it out. It's just not a moment most pleasing to me in her career. The put on baby voice, the frog-voiced men on back up duty, the kinda janky production on the verses. I just think it's generally a poor pop song, regardless of how iconic it is. Nile Rodgers provides a couple of solid saving graces in the form of that insanely addictive guitar riff and those delightful little bells, but other than that, I just think it's aged poorly, which is actually a fairly rare thing for her 80s material by and large.

    Also, Madonna doesn't even like it that much. She's repeatedly gone on record as saying that if she had known that she was going to get saddled with "The Material Girl..." title in literally every single tabloid article for the next forty years, she wouldn't have even recorded it. She's also been repeatedly frustrated at the fact that she always intended it to be ironic and it has largely been taken to be literal, which... hmm. Okay, honey. I'll believe it when I don't see a clothing range named after it.


    The most iconic component of "Material Girl" is easily the video, in which Madonna basically recreates a scene from Marilyn Monroe's "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" and... fucks a producer who tricks her into thinking he's a lowly vagrant with a pick up truck because she's most definitely not the kind of girl to be wooed by... all the things she says she's wooed by in the song. It's also been performed on a lot of tours. The Virgin Tour, the messy Who's That Girl Tour performance where she does a Nazi salute during the middle-eight, Blond Ambition, Re-Invention, a tiny interpolation on MDNA that barely counts, and the Rebel Heart Tour. I've included the video and all of the above below.

    Interpolation of "Material Girl" during "Girl Gone Wild" @ MDNA Tour
    "Material Girl" @ Rebel Heart Tour
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2020
  4. RJF


    Lucky Star
    Burning Up

    Like A Virgin
    Dress You Up

    Papa Don't Preach
    Open Your Heart
    Live To Tell
    La Isla Bonita

    Like A Prayer
    Express Yourself
    Till Death Do Us Part
    Oh Father


    Deeper And Deeper
    Bad Girl
    Thief Of Hearts

    Human Nature
    Bedtime Story
    Take A Bow

    Drowned World/Substitute For Love
    Ray Of Light
    Nothing Really Matters
    Sky Fits Heaven
    The Power Of Goodbye
    To Have And Not To Hold

    Impressive Instant
    Don't Tell Me
    What It Feels Like For A Girl
    Paradise (Not For Me)

    American Life
    Love Profusion
    Nothing Fails
    X-Static Process
    Die Another Day
    Easy Ride

    Hung Up
    Get Together
    Future Lovers
    Forbidden Love

    Give It 2 Me
    Miles Away


    Medellín (Feat. Maluma)
    God Control
    Crave (Feat. Swae Lee)

    Into The Groove
    Crazy For You
    Justify My Love
    Rescue Me
    Beautiful Stranger​
  5. Yes, I do think so.

    Speaking of which, here's my ranking of Madonna's "girl" songs:

    Who's That Girl > Material Girl > Bad Girl > Candy Perfume Girl > What It Feels Like for a Girl > Girl Gone Wild > Mer Girl

    Drag me.

    Edit: Oop.
  6. [​IMG]
  7. ...and with that 'The Immaculate Collection' has been penetrated.

  8. I'd say the best "Girl" songs are What It Feels Like For A Girl and Candy Perfume Girl, but none of them actually got a 10 from me.
  9. I' tired
  10. I kinda knew Mer Girl’s time was running out, but damn... it deserved better. A progressive darkwave pop masterpiece. The closest Madonna ever got to recording something Kate Bush-esque? The outro leaves me with goosebumps every single time.

    BUH-BYE @ Material Girl.
  11. I’m horrified at “Mer Girl” departing so soon and I’m off to watch the Drowned World Tour performance to mourn.
    Music Is Death, stuaw, Lila and 5 others like this.
  12. Well, apparently @RJF bumped his score from 9 to 10 this time around for Mer Girl. Oops.
  13. With one girl, falls the other
  14. Mer Girl - 8.5. It's an incredibly atmospheric song with poignantly plaintive lyrics. But there are eight other songs I prefer on the album which have a higher score.
    Maki likes this.
  15. Also, the top 15* of Madonna's album tracks, according to this rate, consists from:

    Till Death Do Us Part
    Thief Of Hearts
    Sky Fits Heaven
    To Have and Not to Hold
    Impressive Instant
    Paradise (Not for Me)
    X-Static Process
    Easy Ride
    Future Lovers
    Forbidden Love
    God Control

    * There are 16 songs on the list, but you can exclude "God Control" because it has a music video, or "Sky Fits Heaven" for being a promo single.

    Apart from one 6 and one 7, everything else received at least a 7.5 from me, including ten 9+ scores.

    Overall, this is great, but not seeing "Love Tried to Welcome Me", "Forbidden Love" (1994), "Inside of Me", "Runaway Lover", "Messiah" and "Extreme Occident" among them hurts a bit.
    Andrew.L and soratami like this.
  16. My lowest remaining scores belong to "Swim", "Crave" and "Medellin".

    And I guess since "Swim" is apparently taking first place in the whole goddamn rate for reasons I will never comprehend --


    -- I'm going to have to start calling for a 'Missez X' cull.
    Verandi likes this.
  17. ...why does Swim upset some of you so much?
  18. "Swim" is excellent (even though it's not a 10), but I agree about "Crave" and "Medellín" being among the weakest remaining songs.
    They barely have anything Madonna-sounding about them to earn a place in the top 100, let alone top 70. Not only that, but they are just basic contemporary songs.
    Pop Life and MilesAngel like this.
  19. Sometimes I wish I had the nuclear codes to this thread just to put a stop to these takes.
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