Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE | Page 403 | The Popjustice Forum

Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by RJF, Apr 19, 2020.

  1. I don't disagree; I really like Jump. Being featured in The Devil Wears Prada and Ugly Betty? Not everybody has that! I'm just at a point in the rate where I need to lose some 8s and 8.5s before I lose my plethora of 9s, 9.5s and 10s.
    rav4boy and Womanizer like this.
  2. RJF


    Calling "Jump" the worst Confessions single when that has always been "Sorry" feels inaccurate!
    Syzygyz, funkyg, FridayNight and 10 others like this.
  3. [​IMG]
  4. I always read Gone as her looking back at her first marriage and telling herself she wasn't going to lose herself that way again this next time around. Music came out three months before she married Guy, so it makes sense that she would be reflecting on what happened with Sean in the lead up to her second wedding.
  5. RJF



    2015 PLACEMENTS:

    57. Give It 2 Me - 7.961
    62. Devil Wouldn't Recognize You - 7.902
    69. Miles Away - 7.725
    112. Heartbeat - 7.025
    117. 4 Minutes (Feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland) - 6.961
    123. She's Not Me - 6.863
    135. Voices - 6.618
    146. Beat Goes On (Feat. Kanye West) - 6.422
    162. Candy Shop - 6.103
    165. Dance 2Night - 6.088
    196. Ring My Bell - 5.191
    199. Incredible - 4.951
    204. Spanish Lesson - 4.049

    SCORE: 6.556

    Not a bad outing for Hard Candy, all in all. The songs haven't reached as high as they did back in 2015, but everything has generally scored far higher than it did back in the day with every single track improving on its 2015 score, albeit marginally in some cases. While I don't prescribe entirely to the stans' reading of the album ageing magnificently, I do think we're reappraising it in a time where everything it does has come back into vogue again, meaning that of course it'll sound better than it did in 2015 when... I can't remember what was hot back then; tropi-bops? Adele? Carly Rae Jepsen to approximately fifty homosexuals on the Internet? I don't know. What I do know is that I don't listen to the album and feel like it's... out of place. Time has generally been kind to it. I also think time and hindsight has allowed it to truly settle as a Madonna album as Madonna has gone on to redefine what that is over and over since. It feels like an established piece of the pantheon now, however you feel about it.

    Let's be real for a second: this is the Guy Ritchie divorce album, isn't it? Correct me if I'm wrong and if y'all remember things better, but weren't rumours swirling about them being unhappy with each other for at least a year before they actually separated? I refuse to believe that a lot of this album wasn't written in the midst of that turmoil. I mean, how could it not be? Songs about communication being easier when they were far apart, songs about younger, prettier upstarts not comparing to all that she is, songs about how she's hot shit on her own and always has been, and songs about being so duplicitous that even Satan himself is fooled. It runs the full gamut of emotions; "Maybe we're better apart.", "Fuck you, I'll do this alone.", "Actually no, the dick too bomb.", "You're the worst person in my life.", "See my booty get down like uh."... There is also, of course, a plethora of songs about escaping into the dancefloor to exorcise your worries, which has always been Madonna's own sanctuary in times of strife. You add in committing to a never ending tour that conveniently took her away from her home life for nearly two years and, well... maybe the writing was on the wall long before anyone realised.

    Madonna in turmoil is always an interesting setting, because typically when her back is against the wall, she will stun. Here though... I don't know. I don't doubt that the album turned out the way she wanted at all, but I also think this was the first album nearly twenty years where she let herself be a producer's plaything on record. I gave the album credit earlier for being a Madonna album, but it's maybe only in the wider emotional sense where it fits in with what was happening to her at the time. Other times, she feels second fiddle to producers who were already dangerously close to the bottom of their bags of tricks by 2008, and she isn't really there to pick up the slack. So while it does have highlights ("Give It 2 Me", "Devil...", "Miles Away", and "Heartbeat" to a lesser extent, and even fucking "Candy Shop", I guess.) I feel like it is largely an album no one turned up for. The album would would turn out to be the start point for what was a very... odd six or seven years in the Madonna history books as stumbled, collapsed, got back up and recalibrated into something entirely new and intriguing at the point we're at now, but I think a 6.8/10 average sums the whole thing up rather nicely as a project. Decent, but not spectacular.

    Anyway, time to put the shutters down on the candy shop for the night. Don't worry; candy's full of sugar. It lasts forever. I'm sure it'll taste just as good when we return in a few years.

  6. RJF


    Tomorrow: we have a tie at No.61 that will lead us into our Top 60. I'm a little busy this weekend, but if nothing materialises tomorrow, I'll be making up for it on Sunday.
  7. People hear the Jump chorus as being 'simple' and don't take into account how strong the verses and overall thrust of the thing is. Similarly to Give It 2 Me (and so many of her best bops), the chorus doubles as a simple rallying cry to the dance floor, but also for something far more personal. Jump, to me, is the sequel to Keep It Together that I relate to more. Where Keep It Together (maybe wryly) places blood relatives above all else, Jump questions that and asks if we the listener are ready to ask those questions along with Madonna, and if we are indeed able to make it alone if we have to.
  8. RJF


    It also:

    • slaps
  9. matthew.

    matthew. Staff Member

    Also don't forget that Hard Candy is eligible for platinum status in America, Guy just needs to do this one trick and dermatologists hate him!

    I think a lot of ire at Hard Candy comes from it being her first album to get stuck at gold.
    LTG, eatyourself and Jwentz like this.
  10. (Short strings intro)

    C'est du thé, en fait

    Eso es té, en realidad

    Questo è il tè, in realtà

    Dat is eigenlijk thee

    (Chugging bassline)

    Disclaimer: If any of these translations are wrong/shaky, blame Google Translate
  12. Me being Hard Candy’s highest scorer. Pretty legendary if you ask me.

  13. Losing a 9 and a 10 back-to-back...this is where things are going to start to get painful isn’t it?
    Maki, Pop Life and Lila like this.
  14. - Madonna after people criticized her Dutch in the Sorry intro
  15. Maybe the inaccurate translations led to her disliking of the song.
  16. It slaps and then when you still don't react, it knocks you the fuck out.
  17. Jump is fantastic. I think that and Get Together deserved much better videos.
  18. Hard Candy is a pretty great pop album. The era itself and the visuals were sort of lazy but I think it definitely got a lot more criticism than it deserved because it came after Confessions. There’s only one terrible song for me and the rest spans from guilty pleasure to undeniable bop.
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