Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE | Page 443 | The Popjustice Forum

Madonna: The Discography Rate - COMPLETE

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by RJF, Apr 19, 2020.

  1. RJF




    SCORE: 8.518

    2015 PLACEMENT: UP 1 - 44 of 210 (8.189)

    11 x 1

    HIGHEST SCORE: 10 x 37 (@Tigerlily @Vasilios @cheida @dodoriazarbon @eatyourself @m_dimitrov @Dangerous Maknae @tylerc904 @DJHazey @Phonetics Boy @dylanaber @Mjg0806 @Jonathan27 @elear @Andy French @WoW73 @torontodj @dancingwithmyself @Fuchsia @NightmareBoy @Hurricane Drunk @joeee @DinahLee @Jimmyandroid @Candy Perfume Girl @paperboyfriendd @Miss Lange @Mister_G @Sleepycat @Pop Life @clowezra @Remorque @Digital Ghost @Verandi @nametag @Music Is Life @Beautiful Child 2)
    LOWEST SCORE: 4 x 1 (@Filippa)
    MY SCORE: 8/10

    Madonna Louise Ciconne was born in Michigan in 1958, but Madonna was born in the middle of some fucking road in 1983, lip-syncing for her life and the life of every other human being with a sex drive. This is the one, isn't it, girls? Other singles have loftier titles; the first ever single, the first No.1, the first blah blah blah. But this feels like the first one you can see the personality that would go on to conquer the world for the next four decades. The moment she locks eyes with the camera and crawls towards us in seduction rather than surrender, it's over. She has us, and instead of her gaze turning us to stone it turns us into gold and light. We're burning up, ladies. And never has immolation felt more like benediction.

    "Burning Up" is a better rock song that most of the ones all those dead or soon-to-be-dead men made, and that's the tea. From the moment that guitar starts licking away like a flame, it's over for those other hoes. It's also one of the songs that Madonna carried around all of New York City when she was trying to make someone take a chance on her, which is most likely why it acted as the second single of the debut. Reggie Lucas was originally charged with reproducing a lot of Madonna's original demos and, like I have said in pretty much every single debut elimination, Jellybean was drafted in to give it a few more ticks when Madonna decided she wasn't satisfied with the final product. I think the final production manages to balance things nicely between the original's rockier, messier treatment (which I'll post at the bottom of this page) and the poppier direction the label wanted Madonna to take. It smooths out a lot of the amateurish choices while also letting it soar and flourish with that scruffy grime that makes it so addictive. It's an underrated hero of a single from the early days, teebs. I probably underscored it; I would have happily seen it go Top 40 for the FUCKING BASSLINE alone.

    Thankfully, someone was on hand to give more than full marks to make up for my blunder. @GimmeWork reveals their 11/10, and explains to us how they came to deciding it:

    "Drunk college games lead to me being dared to do my best striptease. Of course I picked my favorite thirsty bop for my “number”. Well ladies I got too excited doing my best “Madonna writhing seductively on the floor” impression and now have a rug burn scar on my leg as a life-long reminder that I have about as much business stripping as a bowl of potato salad. So, it's an absolute classic worth my 11 based on it’s own musical merit but I gave it mine because it gave me a scar."

    A permanent scar? Sis, ferociously where your legs rubbing on the floor? We've all had our Madonna moment in our solitude, but nearly starting a damn fire with the friction from your floor humping is dedication. Burning up indeed.

    Like I said above: the video is the genesis of all that we would become to adore. You can now see why "Lucky Star" couldn't even afford good lighting, because they blew it all here. The props, mama. The different setups, mother. The early 80s video effects, madame. When there's a door that Madonna can't open when she sings the lyric, "You're always closing the door." I felt that. And of course, the aforementioned road writhing, which is legitimately, classic-sense-of-the-word iconic. The video is also the first hint we get of Madonna fucking with the patriarchy, a habit that would become a full blown addiction as the decade went on. The song repeatedly finds her at the mercy of this love, only for the video to ultimately invert that in the end and reveal that she has been in control this entire time, and merely playing up the damsel in distress for a lil bit of fun. A dom top from the beginning, folks. The track was also performed on The Virgin Tour, Re-Invention, and Rebel Heart. It slapped every single time. I can't find an official cut of The Virgin Tour, so enjoy one filmed by a fan (!!!) back in 1985, which must have been done on a camera the size of a cruise liner. Enjoy!

  2. The fact that the camera crane or whatever almost crushed her to death during the filming of the Burning Up video.

    FUCK YOU THOUGHT metal beams.
  3. RJF


    Tomorrow, we reach the absolutely insane milestone of the Madonna Discography Rate Top 40, after eliminating nearly two hundred songs in the last three months to get to this point. But it wouldn't be the edge of a milestone without a little bit of pain first, would it?

    Find out what just missed out on being Top 40 when y'all join me tomorrow night for the gaggery, the goopery, and anything else I have in my wee bag of tricks. See you then!



    Dress You Up

    Papa Don't Preach
    Open Your Heart
    Live To Tell
    La Isla Bonita

    Like A Prayer
    Express Yourself
    Till Death Do Us Part
    Oh Father


    Deeper And Deeper

    Human Nature
    Bedtime Story

    Drowned World/Substitute For Love
    Ray Of Light
    Nothing Really Matters
    Sky Fits Heaven
    The Power Of Goodbye

    Don't Tell Me
    What It Feels Like For A Girl

    American Life
    Nothing Fails
    X-Static Process
    Die Another Day
    Easy Ride

    Hung Up
    Get Together

    God Control

    Into The Groove
    Justify My Love
    Beautiful Stranger​
  4. I’m completely fine with both of those songs leaving tonight.
  5. A full half of the remaining songs were released between 1998 and 2005. Now that is how you do a second imperial phase.
  6. RJF


    A fan also covered "Burning Up" in 2011, btw:

  7. Ahm on f̶͇̲̭̃i̴͇̪͛y̴̨̬̽u̶̜͍̱̠̭̓̽̐̈́̎h̷͚͈̻́̀̐̄!!!!!
  8. RJF


    Who is that nobody? Did she have a career after 2005?
  9. [​IMG]
  10. And we love her for it!
  11. Two of my 10s at once!

    I am proud of Hollywood making it this far when apparently everyone comes for Hollywood in this thread. I love it. It has that cool Bojack Horseman intro-sequence vibe. The whole push the button don'tpushthebutton section shook me as a kid.

    And Burning Up is just the definition of a ten ton bop. The demo/live versions giving me the Metal/hard rock for gays thread teas... Madame X is a headbanger.
  12. "Hollywood" and "Burning Up"?

    Music Is Death, Uno, DJHazey and 2 others like this.
  13. RJF


    Can you believe that two months ago we were still having to discuss the sixteen I'm Breathless tracks I was eliminating every night and "Girl Gone Wild" was considered a marquee elimination? It's so good to be at this end of the rate!!!
  14. Something something Madonna can melt metal beams.
    Maki likes this.
  16. Oh, and "Hollywood" and "Burning Up", two of her only few (perhaps even consecutive*) singles that didn't chart on Billboard Hot 100, leaving on the same day, at the same position, with the same average score (and almost keeping the exact same position as in the previous rate) is kind of an insane connection/coincidence.

    *Yes, they are!
  17. BTG


    Hollywood is a cute girl that I don’t mind listening to but never actively seek out.

    When is American Life (the track) bowing out? She doesn’t belong here.
    MilesAngel likes this.
  18. American Life and Intervention have no business lasting any longer.
  19. The Britney version sounding more dated than the original alshslahdkslwusn
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