Pet Shop Boys Rate. Part 1: 1985-1991. Winner.
- Thread starter Ray
- Start date
I think so, too. I was so glad when they released it as the weak vocals of Patsy didn't work for me at all. They should have released the promo edit as their own single (preferably instead of It's Alright).
You are indeed.
Sorry for this barrage of posts, but I wasn't able to read and comment earlier.
But what song on Behaviour actually DOES? I think they all are fairly high on an emotional, story-telling level from the first note. The songs tend to flow and draw you into their "wake" with subtle force.
13.
13. Two Divided By Zero
8.6111111111
One of the best album openers ever, please.
Highest score: 11x3 (@JonBcn, @Eric Generic, @rawkey), 10x10 (@KingBruno, @etcetera, @CorgiCorgiCorgi, @TrendyMüller, @slurmjunkie, @idratherjack, @DominoDancing, @RaggedTiger, @Farnaby, @Ray)
Lowest score: 3 (@Sweet Music)
Neil: In 1983, when I was working in New York at the American version of Smash Hits, I bought my father a talking calculator which spoke the numbers out loud for his Christmas present. Chris and I loved the calculator's voice – it had a very very sad quality. When we played it to Bobby 'O' he loved it too – he said 'this is a whole album!' Bobby 'O' had given us a backing track he'd done which he couldn't think of anything to do with, so we had the idea – because you could make the calculator say mathematical sentences – of making it say 'two divided by zero' and building a song around that. I think it was Chris who thought of it – it's not the kind of thing I'd have ever thought of.
Chris: Two divided by zero is infinity, isn't it?
Neil: I think at the time we had this discussion about whether or not it was infinity. Anyway, it was rather a romantic idea.
Chris: Two divided by nothing. It's like 'when two become one'.
Neil: Precisely. It was just the idea that two people couldn't be split up by anything; could be split up by nothing. And that suggested this idea of two people running away. It reminded me of when I was a teenager. This girl Maureen and I often had this romantic notion of running away to London, and we sometimes used to go to Newcastle Central Station at night to see the trains going to London. And, in the song, maybe there's trouble at home, so the two people are going to run away, in this instance, to New York. [...] The suggestion is that one of them is pregnant. [...] I'd given the calculator to my dad after we made the first version, then I got it back off him for the album, and he never got it back again after that. [...] For Please Stephen Hague spent ages working on it, and I think it's the best sounding track on the album. The arrangement is very similar to Bobby 'O's, but it sounds bigger. The whole thing has got that sort of rush of excitement, of running away. At the same time, you know that there's no way the people in the song are really going to end up in New York. Just like Maureen and I.
@Ray: WHAT A SONG. Opening an album with the line "Let's not go home" and ending it with "Why don't we live together?" will never cease to give me goosebumps (duly present right this moment). It's perfect sonically, fantastic melody, but it is mostly the lyrics that grab me. I always wanted to run away, ever since I remember. I hated my life as it were, and all I wanted was a partner in crime. It never occurred to me this song might not actually end up with those people not managing to escape. So I guess it's a better metaphor for my life at this period than I thought. But it just struck me so hard every time how much I wanted to just leave everything behind, catch a fast train, and when the postman calls to deliver something that is NOT a pregnancy test it would be too late to stop me.
Three people gave it 11s, but only one commented (and I originally forgot) so here is @JonBcn:
Forgive me for being a bit self-indulgent, I might waffle on a bit here. This song might not be my favourite musically (that’d be something off ‘Introspective’), but it’s always meant more to me than any other PSB song. When ‘Please’ came out I was 10, and living in Oman. It was a really formative time for me musically: cheap but good quality bootleg cassettes were all over the place, and with my pocket money every week I bought everything. I would buy Smash Hits religiously, and then buy the music of artists featured in it – often without even having heard them. I’d heard the PSBs when we’d been home to the UK; it must have been West End Girls, and as soon as I got back I bought the album. 2%0 has always given me an energy rush since the very first time I heard it – which I can still remember, on my Walkman, in the back of my parents’ car. It still brings back memories of that amazing time in my life, but as I got older the song evolved with me. Growing up gay in the midlands, I would daydream with the theme of getting on a plane, and starting a new life. These days I travel a lot internationally, for business and pleasure. And almost every time I get on a plane, I get the urge to listen to this track. For me it’s timeless, evocative, quintessentially PSBs and when I’m finally invited to be a guest on Desert Island Discs, will definitely be one of my chosen tracks.
Thank you for this.
@Peer_Gynt10: what a way to announce yourself as a duo that, 30 years later, is still going strong and remains undivided
@One Stop Candy Shop: Pocket calculator anthem of 1986.
@DominoDancing: It's probably wrong to call the opener on the first Pet Shop Boys album a "hidden" gem, but it's definitely underrated. I love everything about this track. The calculator voice hook is iconic, the lyrics are incredibly evocative and the chord progression is wonderfully ominous. What a great start into this rate! I was shocked (SHOCKED!) when I realized that Chris doesn't have a writing credit on this. [I still didn't know it until right now!]
@Mikey1701: Show me a more assured and iconic opening track on a debut album, i’ll wait. Everything brilliant about the Pet Shop Boys in on display here: catchy hooks, sublime production, multi-layered lyrics… I could go on, but I feel that my fellow raters will be much more eloquent than I. Suffice to say: this is an incredible track.
@Bleu Noir: great album opener, romance of escaping to the excitement of the city
@KingBruno: So exciting.
@ohnoitisnathan: Nice.
@Sally_Harper: I love a bit of aloof melodrama with my PSB.
@Heaven on Earth: The “divided by” motif really annoys me.
@TrendyMüller: This is the song that made me a fan! What a perfect album/career opener.
Pandemonium:
Glastonbury:
It Couldn't Happen Here:
Good news: the next song only has one 11.
I love everything about this track.
Nice.
Nice.
13. Two Divided By Zero
8.6111111111
One of the best album openers ever, please.
Highest score: 11x3 (@JonBcn, @Eric Generic, @rawkey), 10x10 (@KingBruno, @etcetera, @CorgiCorgiCorgi, @TrendyMüller, @slurmjunkie, @idratherjack, @DominoDancing, @RaggedTiger, @Farnaby, @Ray)
Lowest score: 3 (@Sweet Music)
Neil: In 1983, when I was working in New York at the American version of Smash Hits, I bought my father a talking calculator which spoke the numbers out loud for his Christmas present. Chris and I loved the calculator's voice – it had a very very sad quality. When we played it to Bobby 'O' he loved it too – he said 'this is a whole album!' Bobby 'O' had given us a backing track he'd done which he couldn't think of anything to do with, so we had the idea – because you could make the calculator say mathematical sentences – of making it say 'two divided by zero' and building a song around that. I think it was Chris who thought of it – it's not the kind of thing I'd have ever thought of.
Chris: Two divided by zero is infinity, isn't it?
Neil: I think at the time we had this discussion about whether or not it was infinity. Anyway, it was rather a romantic idea.
Chris: Two divided by nothing. It's like 'when two become one'.
Neil: Precisely. It was just the idea that two people couldn't be split up by anything; could be split up by nothing. And that suggested this idea of two people running away. It reminded me of when I was a teenager. This girl Maureen and I often had this romantic notion of running away to London, and we sometimes used to go to Newcastle Central Station at night to see the trains going to London. And, in the song, maybe there's trouble at home, so the two people are going to run away, in this instance, to New York. [...] The suggestion is that one of them is pregnant. [...] I'd given the calculator to my dad after we made the first version, then I got it back off him for the album, and he never got it back again after that. [...] For Please Stephen Hague spent ages working on it, and I think it's the best sounding track on the album. The arrangement is very similar to Bobby 'O's, but it sounds bigger. The whole thing has got that sort of rush of excitement, of running away. At the same time, you know that there's no way the people in the song are really going to end up in New York. Just like Maureen and I.
@Ray: WHAT A SONG. Opening an album with the line "Let's not go home" and ending it with "Why don't we live together?" will never cease to give me goosebumps (duly present right this moment). It's perfect sonically, fantastic melody, but it is mostly the lyrics that grab me. I always wanted to run away, ever since I remember. I hated my life as it were, and all I wanted was a partner in crime. It never occurred to me this song might not actually end up with those people not managing to escape. So I guess it's a better metaphor for my life at this period than I thought. But it just struck me so hard every time how much I wanted to just leave everything behind, catch a fast train, and when the postman calls to deliver something that is NOT a pregnancy test it would be too late to stop me.
Three people gave it 11s, but only one commented (and I originally forgot) so here is @JonBcn:
Forgive me for being a bit self-indulgent, I might waffle on a bit here. This song might not be my favourite musically (that’d be something off ‘Introspective’), but it’s always meant more to me than any other PSB song. When ‘Please’ came out I was 10, and living in Oman. It was a really formative time for me musically: cheap but good quality bootleg cassettes were all over the place, and with my pocket money every week I bought everything. I would buy Smash Hits religiously, and then buy the music of artists featured in it – often without even having heard them. I’d heard the PSBs when we’d been home to the UK; it must have been West End Girls, and as soon as I got back I bought the album. 2%0 has always given me an energy rush since the very first time I heard it – which I can still remember, on my Walkman, in the back of my parents’ car. It still brings back memories of that amazing time in my life, but as I got older the song evolved with me. Growing up gay in the midlands, I would daydream with the theme of getting on a plane, and starting a new life. These days I travel a lot internationally, for business and pleasure. And almost every time I get on a plane, I get the urge to listen to this track. For me it’s timeless, evocative, quintessentially PSBs and when I’m finally invited to be a guest on Desert Island Discs, will definitely be one of my chosen tracks.
Thank you for this.
@Peer_Gynt10: what a way to announce yourself as a duo that, 30 years later, is still going strong and remains undivided
@One Stop Candy Shop: Pocket calculator anthem of 1986.
@DominoDancing: It's probably wrong to call the opener on the first Pet Shop Boys album a "hidden" gem, but it's definitely underrated. I love everything about this track. The calculator voice hook is iconic, the lyrics are incredibly evocative and the chord progression is wonderfully ominous. What a great start into this rate! I was shocked (SHOCKED!) when I realized that Chris doesn't have a writing credit on this. [I still didn't know it until right now!]
@Mikey1701: Show me a more assured and iconic opening track on a debut album, i’ll wait. Everything brilliant about the Pet Shop Boys in on display here: catchy hooks, sublime production, multi-layered lyrics… I could go on, but I feel that my fellow raters will be much more eloquent than I. Suffice to say: this is an incredible track.
@Bleu Noir: great album opener, romance of escaping to the excitement of the city
@KingBruno: So exciting.
@ohnoitisnathan: Nice.
@Sally_Harper: I love a bit of aloof melodrama with my PSB.
@Heaven on Earth: The “divided by” motif really annoys me.
@TrendyMüller: This is the song that made me a fan! What a perfect album/career opener.
Pandemonium:
Glastonbury:
It Couldn't Happen Here:
Good news: the next song only has one 11.
Last edited:
Well that’s what I get for mentioning it ...
STRAIGHT INTO TOWN.
What a fucking song.
I know, YOU KNOW, that this should have been TOP 3!
The great thrill about the lyrics is not just the romance of running away from a compromising situation, BUT the fact that the protagonist wants to do it in style by flying to New York to go clubbing and most likely also shopping!
Across the bridges and tunnels, Straight! Into! Town!
I have written elsewhere about my fascination with the song and I would love to know what the 11´s are thinking about it (apart from the obvious that it is PSBs best song of that era!)
The great thrill about the lyrics is not just the romance of running away from a compromising situation, BUT the fact that the protagonist wants to do it in style by flying to New York to go clubbing and most likely also shopping!
Across the bridges and tunnels, Straight! Into! Town!
I have written elsewhere about my fascination with the song and I would love to know what the 11´s are thinking about it (apart from the obvious that it is PSBs best song of that era!)
I had hoped Two Divided By Zero could hang on till Top 10, it's an absolute classic and what a mission statement as the opening track on their debut album. Genuinely of their most thrilling moments.
BEEP BEEP
That "beep beep" is one of my (many) favourite bits of the song. Seriously, I'd give it 10.99 if I could. But I checked and it would still be #13, just with slightly higher average.
Was Two Divided By Zero the last album track standing?
12.
Some good bits, some jarring
It tries very hard
One of their very best
Neil: We wrote this in a demo studio. Chris wrote most of the music – I wrote the middle bit.
Chris: It's a Fairlight track (laughs). I must have started it in my flat.
12. So Hard
8.9041666667
AUS #27, AT #14, BE #8, CAN #76, NL #11, FIN #1, FRA #52, GER #3, IRL #3, ITA #2, JPN #5, NZ #24, NOR #9, POL Radio Three #9, SPA #2, SWE #3, SWI #2, UK #4, US #62, US Dance #4, US Hot Dance Music/Maxi-Singles Sales Chart #2
(Well, that's a chartful.)
Highest score: 11x1 (@tylerc904), 10x14 (@Ray, @Mikey1701, @VeryPSB, @Jóga, @Vive Indifference, @SmashHitter, @DominoDancing, @chris4862, @idratherjack, @slurmjunkie, @Eric Generic, @etcetera, @KingBruno, @Scoundrel_Days)
Lowest score: 5 (@Bleu Noir)
Chris: I don't like 'So Hard'. It's a blot on this album. [BLOCK HA – oh wait – Ray]
Neil: I like the lyrics. The song is a true story, about two friends who lived together. One of them came home and found that his boyfriend was in bed alone, and there was an ashtray beside the bed, and he didn't smoke.
Chris: Make of it what you will.
Neil: They are totally unfaithful to each other but they both pretend they are faithful and then catch each other out. The first line is "I double cross you, and you get mysterious mall". He finds out his boyfriend has loads of letters from contact magazines. There's a bit in the third verse: "I'm always hoping you'll be faithful but you're not, I suppose/we've both given up smoking 'cause it's fatal, so whose matches are those?" Really what it's saying the "so hard" element is – this is the middle bit – "if your give up your affairs forever/I will give up mine/but it's hard/so hard". People get caught, I think, very much between their desire to have a permanent relationship and their desire to play around or whatever.
Chris: It's a Donna Summer Giorgio Moroder kind of thing. Actually, it's got some good bits, and the David Morales Red Zone remix is one of our best twelve-inches.
Neil: This has got very analogue-y synths. And at the beginning there's a sample saying 'kiss'. It's quite a different vocal style for me – like whispering in your ear again.
Chris: Is 'So hard' a Carry On-style double entendre?
Neil: As with most of my innuendo, it wasn't intended, but obviously I very quickly realised it would be perceived as that.
@Ray: This is the first time I consciously noticed that there were Pet Shop Boys and they were amazing. It was 'Being Boring' that made me go buy the album, but 'So Hard' was on heavy rotation both on the radio and on my tape recorder. I know @Eric Generic had this 'WTF' reaction to how Neil looked in the video, but I wasn't really aware Neil ever looked different. Also I adore the sinister quality the video has. It's very mob meets some Brit kids. Like two stories that somehow met, even though they were never supposed to. There is a LISTENABLE The KLF remix of it, too. An average of 8.9 is about right, although I gave it a 10 – but then from now on I gave a 10 to... oh... two more songs. BEASTS!!!
Seriously, you two, how young are you not to realise that there was world before Grindr?
@TrendyMüller: It tries very hard and it sits a bit out of place on Behaviour…[Hi Chris!] despite the slightly dated lyrics (contact magazine!) the song just wont get old. Neither for its subject nor the music.
@Mikey1701: The highlight of the parent album by a country mile. This goes in and it goes in hard. Everything comes together spectacularly here, the comedic lyrics, the menacing production, the outdated references to ‘contact magazines’- nothing is off. I would definitely put this in my Top 5 PSB tracks.
@One Stop Candy Shop: Anthem of cheating. I love it. (The song, not cheating.) [Thank you for the clarification. For the record, we agree on both counts.]
@Jóga: One of my favourite lyrics ever: 'We've both given up smoking 'cause it's fatal, so who's matches are those?'.
@DominoDancing: I absolutely love how the song jumps from hard orchestra-stabs to very calm parts to everything in between. The lyrics are quite funny actually - "We've both given up smoking/'Cause it's fatal/So whose matches are those?" would be a great line for anyone.
@Bleu Noir: rarely play it
@chris4862: This was very close to being my 11. One of their very best, but I feel like it tends to get overlooked.
@KingBruno: This was ahead of its time. How they combined the effective retro sound with a stunning pounding house beat like this is incredible. It sounds immense and I can’t get enough of it. [I think it's one of those rare songs that still, 26 years later (AM I OLD OR SOMETHING) sound like nothing else – except for songs that sampled it.]
@ohnoitisnathan: Some good bits, some jarring.
@Sally_Harper: THE LYRICS ARE BRILLIANT.
And for a change we finish with the 11x1 commentary:
@tylerc904: Hands down my favorite PSB song. Some days I may prefer to listen to Always on My Mind (those SYNTHS) but this is the one I always come back to. Plus it has my favorite ever Pet Shop lyric: "we've both given up smoking cause it's fatal. So, who's matches are those?"
Sorry, Tyler. While 'Two Divided By Zero' was my 10.99, this is my 10.98.
AN ACTUAL EXTENDED VIDEO
David Morales Red Zone Overrated Remix:
Performance performance:
Terry Wogan performance:
Some good bits, some jarring
It tries very hard
One of their very best
Neil: We wrote this in a demo studio. Chris wrote most of the music – I wrote the middle bit.
Chris: It's a Fairlight track (laughs). I must have started it in my flat.
12. So Hard
8.9041666667
AUS #27, AT #14, BE #8, CAN #76, NL #11, FIN #1, FRA #52, GER #3, IRL #3, ITA #2, JPN #5, NZ #24, NOR #9, POL Radio Three #9, SPA #2, SWE #3, SWI #2, UK #4, US #62, US Dance #4, US Hot Dance Music/Maxi-Singles Sales Chart #2
(Well, that's a chartful.)
Highest score: 11x1 (@tylerc904), 10x14 (@Ray, @Mikey1701, @VeryPSB, @Jóga, @Vive Indifference, @SmashHitter, @DominoDancing, @chris4862, @idratherjack, @slurmjunkie, @Eric Generic, @etcetera, @KingBruno, @Scoundrel_Days)
Lowest score: 5 (@Bleu Noir)
Chris: I don't like 'So Hard'. It's a blot on this album. [BLOCK HA – oh wait – Ray]
Neil: I like the lyrics. The song is a true story, about two friends who lived together. One of them came home and found that his boyfriend was in bed alone, and there was an ashtray beside the bed, and he didn't smoke.
Chris: Make of it what you will.
Neil: They are totally unfaithful to each other but they both pretend they are faithful and then catch each other out. The first line is "I double cross you, and you get mysterious mall". He finds out his boyfriend has loads of letters from contact magazines. There's a bit in the third verse: "I'm always hoping you'll be faithful but you're not, I suppose/we've both given up smoking 'cause it's fatal, so whose matches are those?" Really what it's saying the "so hard" element is – this is the middle bit – "if your give up your affairs forever/I will give up mine/but it's hard/so hard". People get caught, I think, very much between their desire to have a permanent relationship and their desire to play around or whatever.
Chris: It's a Donna Summer Giorgio Moroder kind of thing. Actually, it's got some good bits, and the David Morales Red Zone remix is one of our best twelve-inches.
Neil: This has got very analogue-y synths. And at the beginning there's a sample saying 'kiss'. It's quite a different vocal style for me – like whispering in your ear again.
Chris: Is 'So hard' a Carry On-style double entendre?
Neil: As with most of my innuendo, it wasn't intended, but obviously I very quickly realised it would be perceived as that.
@Ray: This is the first time I consciously noticed that there were Pet Shop Boys and they were amazing. It was 'Being Boring' that made me go buy the album, but 'So Hard' was on heavy rotation both on the radio and on my tape recorder. I know @Eric Generic had this 'WTF' reaction to how Neil looked in the video, but I wasn't really aware Neil ever looked different. Also I adore the sinister quality the video has. It's very mob meets some Brit kids. Like two stories that somehow met, even though they were never supposed to. There is a LISTENABLE The KLF remix of it, too. An average of 8.9 is about right, although I gave it a 10 – but then from now on I gave a 10 to... oh... two more songs. BEASTS!!!
Seriously, you two, how young are you not to realise that there was world before Grindr?
@TrendyMüller: It tries very hard and it sits a bit out of place on Behaviour…[Hi Chris!] despite the slightly dated lyrics (contact magazine!) the song just wont get old. Neither for its subject nor the music.
@Mikey1701: The highlight of the parent album by a country mile. This goes in and it goes in hard. Everything comes together spectacularly here, the comedic lyrics, the menacing production, the outdated references to ‘contact magazines’- nothing is off. I would definitely put this in my Top 5 PSB tracks.
@One Stop Candy Shop: Anthem of cheating. I love it. (The song, not cheating.) [Thank you for the clarification. For the record, we agree on both counts.]
@Jóga: One of my favourite lyrics ever: 'We've both given up smoking 'cause it's fatal, so who's matches are those?'.
@DominoDancing: I absolutely love how the song jumps from hard orchestra-stabs to very calm parts to everything in between. The lyrics are quite funny actually - "We've both given up smoking/'Cause it's fatal/So whose matches are those?" would be a great line for anyone.
@Bleu Noir: rarely play it
@chris4862: This was very close to being my 11. One of their very best, but I feel like it tends to get overlooked.
@KingBruno: This was ahead of its time. How they combined the effective retro sound with a stunning pounding house beat like this is incredible. It sounds immense and I can’t get enough of it. [I think it's one of those rare songs that still, 26 years later (AM I OLD OR SOMETHING) sound like nothing else – except for songs that sampled it.]
@ohnoitisnathan: Some good bits, some jarring.
@Sally_Harper: THE LYRICS ARE BRILLIANT.
And for a change we finish with the 11x1 commentary:
@tylerc904: Hands down my favorite PSB song. Some days I may prefer to listen to Always on My Mind (those SYNTHS) but this is the one I always come back to. Plus it has my favorite ever Pet Shop lyric: "we've both given up smoking cause it's fatal. So, who's matches are those?"
Sorry, Tyler. While 'Two Divided By Zero' was my 10.99, this is my 10.98.
AN ACTUAL EXTENDED VIDEO
David Morales Red Zone Overrated Remix:
Performance performance:
Terry Wogan performance:
They/them, he/him
Still no change. The difference between #13 and #12 was 0.26, quite large for our recent standards.