PJ Retro 100 - It's an anniversary! We have a winner!

So, this round, I went for a singer and song I discovered fairly recently. I found a compilation album early this year, that featured this song, and I was in love with the song instantly. Valerie Carter released her debut and sophomore albums in a short timespan in the 70's - Just A Stone's Throw Away was released in 1977, Wild Child in 1978. Both great examples of 70's singer-songwriter pop, blending several genres. The exquisite single Crazy is taken from Wild Child, and is my favourite of Valerie's songs. The gap between her 2nd and 3rd albums was quite long - The Way It Is was released in 1996. After that, she only released two more EP's. Sadly, she passed away in 2017.

THEME: None. Just bring your absolutely best.
Love to adhere to themes.

I had this queued as my round 100 entry for some time. Had to be something celebratory, right? What's more celebratory than having a gang bang against the wall?

For better or worse – perhaps just for worse – everyone in the UK knows who Black Lace are. One-hit wonder energy with the notorious 'Agadoo', but actually with 14 chart hits to their name. The unasked-for British answer to schlager. A band that sounds at once very European and very Brexit. The sonic equivalent of the Orange walk that just happened in Benidorm. A former Eurovision pop act with a prolific discography, yet absolutely zero sign of a fanbase on the Popjustice forum. The kind of pop that only happens outside here, for the unwashed and unrefined. Camp for straights.

I've always found it sort of fascinating that 'Do the Conga' – a song universally known to Britons, omnipresent at our shittest parties – doesn't have its own Wikipedia page. I think that kind of sums up Black Lace. It's pop everyone knows exists, but nobody wants to talk about.

'Gang Bang' – apparently a #90 hit – hasn't quite been a radio staple, for some reason. The people who know it mostly seem to know it from 'Rita, Sue, and Bob Too', which I haven't seen. I'm sure some of you, like me, will know it from this iconic X Factor audition.

What fascinates me about 'Gang Bang' is the incongruity of delivery and content. As PJ Retro 84 participants might remember from 'Meet My Friend (CALLED DICK)', I'm a big fan of gossamer-thin innuendo; in this case, the innuendo is so thin as to be nonexistent. For all its horned-up hokeycokeyness, nothing in this song is actually explicit – with the sole, glaring exception of the phrase "gang bang", which they seem to think is a double entendre, but, well, really just means "gang bang". I don't think it's supposed to be quite as brazenly sordid as it is. A song that aims for cheeky nudge-wink frivolity, but overshoots to unpleasant and kind of sinister. I absolutely love it.

Sorry for corralling everyone to re-endure it after the Spotify mix-up – I try to make a habit of checking my entry is correct when a Spotify playlist first drops (and not just when I'm voting, which is almost always near the end of the round) but it slipped by me this time. My submitted version had more of a hands-in-the-air party atmosphere; the wrong version was even shonkier and creakier, really desolate and haunting, proper wanking-in-a-bush vibe. Arguably an improvement. I was tempted to stick with it.

Thank you @unnameable for saving me from 0 points – and condemning yourself to last place in the process. (If it's any comfort, I wouldn't have guessed yours was the other "troll" entry people were grousing about! I actually assumed it was 'DJ Girl' given the cold reception I got with 'Glamour Girl' last round.)

Colin Gibb from Black Lace literally DIED during the round, by the way. The third of my last four entries to be a posthumous tribute, and by accident this time! I didn't have a tip-off about him being in ill health or anything. Maybe the negative energy in the thread finished him off? Hope you're all happy with yourselves. R.I.P. Colin Gibb from Black Lace (murdered by Popjustice).
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