PJ Retro 78 - Awkward pre-1996 twisted English virgins. Drip dry reveals O.V.A.H. - winner announced

After 46 rounds and (yes, I looked it up) 5 years and 1 month of trying, I finally won a round of PJ Retro ddd.



Coincidentally, I get to host round 78, and '78 is my birth year.

I've long thought of what theme I might choose, should I ever win a round of PJ Retro. I've decided to combine a couple of ideas I had into one, in case I don't get to host a round ever again or choose not to after this experience ddd.

After some intense deliberation, I have finally settled on...

VIRGINS 2.0 aka rejuvenated virgins/born again virgins ddd

That is, a sequel to PJ Retro 58, where all entries must be from artists who have never been entered into PJOPS/PJ Retro before.

Except, as you might expect from the thread title, there's a twist.

The songs also have to be from before 1996. Why? Because I'm not here for the late 90s, and this is my round ddd.



Another twist... the songs also have to be sung primarily in English. Why? So I can sing along if I want to ddd.




To be clear on the specific eligibility criteria for this round:

1. Your song has to be by an artist who has not previously been entered into PJOPS/PJ Retro. A band member going solo, who has not been entered as a solo artist before (or vice versa - a solo artist joining a band), is OK. An artist who has been entered into PJ00s or PJSC, but not PJ Retro/PJOPS before, is OK.

2. Your song must be from before 1996. A 1996 single that originally appeared on a 1995 album is OK.

3. The lyrics of your song must be at least half in the English language. A couple of lines in another language are OK, as in Clio's 'Eyes' (where the chorus, I think, is in Japanese, but the rest of the song is in English). Broken English, as in 'Aliens' from the last round, is also acceptable.

Alternatively, if you're feeling bold, you can submit an instrumental track.



OPTIONAL SIDE THEME:

Submit with your ballot your favourite 'awkward' TV/interview moment, such as a hostile interviewer, an interviewee who finally (and probably justifiably) loses their cool, a public meltdown, or some mishap/misadventure captured during the recording of something else. This does not have to be pre-2000, but it would be fitting if it was. Video and/or gif evidence of the moment would be appreciated!



ENTRY

PM @ohnoitisnathan

Send:

- Your entry (in Artist - Song format)
- Link to entry on YouTube or similar
- Preferred Spotify link (or a note that it's not on Spotify, or shouldn't be included in the Spotify playlist for whatever reason)

RULES

Spoiler: Rules

You submit a song, the veto panel reviews your submission, and you’ll hear back if you’ve successfully passed. Once the song list is revealed, you listen to all of the other entries and put together a Eurovision-style ballot ranking the 10 songs you think most deserve recognition with point values as follows:

12 points (your favourite song goes here)
10 points
8 points
7 points
6 points
5 points
4 points
3 points
2 points
1 point (your least favourite song of your top 10 goes here)

You cannot vote for your own entry, you don’t know who submitted the other songs, and only those who have entered a song may submit a ballot. Contestants who enter a song but don’t vote will have their points total halved as a consequence. I’ll reveal the ballots one by one at the end, and whoever accrues the most points wins the round, the envy of their peers, and an appearance at Bingo Bongo. Simple as that.

Criteria that will absolutely result in a veto

• Song was originally released after December 31, 1999
• Song was already entered in a previous round of any of the PJ song contests
• Click here for the list of previous PJOPS/PJ Retro entries
• Click here for the list of previous PJSC entries
• Song peaked within the top 10 on the UK or US singles chart
• Song is a cover of or contains a prominent sample of a UK or US top 10 hit OR was covered/prominently sampled in a song that was a UK or US top 10 hit
• Act has 25 pages or more of discussion on the forum
• Act was entered in the previous round
• This includes any related solo or group acts to an act that was entered in the previous round (ex. Gwen Stefani and No Doubt, in an alternate universe where either of them could actually pass the veto criteria)

Criteria that will also be taken in consideration for veto purposes

• Song is from an album that peaked in the top 10 on the UK or US albums chart
• Song is from a Platinum- or Gold-certified album in the UK or US
• Song peaked between #11 and #20 on the UK or US singles chart
• Song was a major hit in other big music markets (France, Germany, Japan, etc) and/or in multiple countries
• Act has 15 - 24 pages of discussion on the forum
• Song is by an act who had major success in the UK or US
• Act has been entered multiple times in this contest

DATES

Submission: June 29 - July 6
Voting: July 9 - July 23
Results: July 24

(All deadlines close 11:59 PM Australian Eastern time,
which is:
GMT +10
so UK time 2:59 PM
Eastern US time 9:59 AM
Pacific US time 6:59 AM)​

 

PARTICIPANTS

Attis
berserkboi
chanex
Cotton Park
Disco Blister
DJ Hazey
Domino Dancing
Doodvid
Ezz
Filler
Hudweiser
If You Go
iheartpoptarts
invertedbutterfly
Isobel
klow
livefrommelbs
Maki
ohnoitisnathan
Phonetics Girl
pop3blow2
saviodxl
soratami
Tiger Suit
TéléDex
unnameable
Untouchable Ace
Up N Down
WoW73
WowWowWowWow​

​

 

SONGS

Renée - High Time He Went
Two Girls - Another Boy in Town
Eve Gallagher - Love Come Down (1995 version)
Miranda Sex Garden - Wheel
Grant Miller - Stranger in My Life
Jo Beth Taylor - 99 Reasons
Moulin Rouge - Boys Don't Cry
Kiwi & Tess - Give Your Heart
Kashif - I Just Gotta Have You (Lover Turn Me On)
Anticappella feat. MC Fixx It - Move Your Body
Rose - Magic Carillon
Lynne and the Lizards - My Mistake
K.B. Caps - Catch Me Now I'm Falling
Utopia - Set Me Free
Doce - For the Love of Conchita
Kut Klose - I Like
Stargard - What You Waitin' For
Yukihiro Takahashi - Drip Dry Eyes
Tony ''Dr. Edit'' Garcia feat. Lil Suzy - Take Me In Your Arms
Rose Chronicles - Awaiting Eternity
Shauna Davis - Get Away
Hashim - Al-Naafyish (The Soul) (It's Time!)
Samantha - In the Night
Man 2 Man - Energy Is Eurobeat
Ashford & Simpson - Found a Cure
True Image - Keep Me Dancing
Akasa - Kama Sutra
Bel Canto - Shimmering, Warm & Bright
Lori Ruso - Show Off
The Dead Milkmen - Punk Rock Girl

Spoiler: PM-friendly list

Renée - High Time He Went
Two Girls - Another Boy in Town
Eve Gallagher - Love Come Down (1995 version)
Miranda Sex Garden - Wheel
Grant Miller - Stranger in My Life
Jo Beth Taylor - 99 Reasons
Moulin Rouge - Boys Don't Cry
Kiwi & Tess - Give Your Heart
Kashif - I Just Gotta Have You (Lover Turn Me On)
Anticappella feat. MC Fixx It - Move Your Body
Rose - Magic Carillon
Lynne and the Lizards - My Mistake
K.B. Caps - Catch Me Now I'm Falling
Utopia - Set Me Free
Doce - For the Love of Conchita
Kut Klose - I Like
Stargard - What You Waitin' For
Yukihiro Takahashi - Drip Dry Eyes
Tony ''Dr. Edit'' Garcia feat. Lil Suzy - Take Me In Your Arms
Rose Chronicles - Awaiting Eternity
Shauna Davis - Get Away
Hashim - Al-Naafyish (The Soul) (It's Time!)
Samantha - In the Night
Man 2 Man - Energy Is Eurobeat
Ashford & Simpson - Found a Cure
True Image - Keep Me Dancing
Akasa - Kama Sutra
Bel Canto - Shimmering, Warm & Bright
Lori Ruso - Show Off
The Dead Milkmen - Punk Rock Girl

SPOTIFY

Not on Spotify:

Two Girls - Another Boy in Town
Eve Gallagher - Love Come Down (1995 version)
Anticappella feat. MC Fixx It - Move Your Body
K.B. Caps - Catch Me Now I'm Falling
Shauna Davis - Get Away
Man 2 Man - Energy Is Eurobeat
Akasa - Kama Sutra
Lori Ruso - Show Off​

YouTube PLAYLIST:

Click here​

​

 

FINAL LEADERBOARD
(sorry, I couldn't work out how to number ties with the numbering formatting I used #awkward)

1. Renée - High Time He Went // klow = 155
2. Kiwi & Tess - Give Your Heart // WoW73 = 105
3. Bel Canto - Shimmering, Warm & Bright // Tiger Suit = 100
4. Rose Chronicles - Awaiting Eternity // If You Go = 97
5. Grant Miller - Stranger in My Life // Maki = 90
6. Eve Gallagher - Love Come Down (1995 version) // livefrommelbs = 85
7. Rose - Magic Carillon // Up N Down = 84
8. Utopia - Set Me Free // Isobel = 78
9. Doce - For the Love of Conchita // saviodxl = 76
10. Shauna Davis - Get Away // iheartpoptarts = 72
11. Moulin Rouge - Boys Don't Cry // Doodvid = 66
12. Ashford & Simpson - Found a Cure // invertedbutterfly = 62
13. Hashim - Al-Naafyish (The Soul) (It's Time!) // DJ Hazey = 57
14. Yukihiro Takahashi - Drip Dry Eyes // TéléDex = 53
15. Kut Klose - I Like // soratami = 52
16. Jo Beth Taylor - 99 Reasons // ohnoitisnathan = 47
17. Tony ''Dr. Edit'' Garcia feat. Lil Suzy - Take Me In Your Arms // WowWowWowWow = 46
18. Akasa - Kama Sutra // Disco Blister = 45
19. Samantha - In the Night // unnameable = 44
20. Two Girls - Another Boy in Town // berserkboi = 38
21. Lori Ruso - Show Off // chanex = 36
22. Kashif - I Just Gotta Have You (Lover Turn Me On) // Attis = 35
23. K.B. Caps - Catch Me Now I'm Falling // Untouchable Ace = 35
24. True Image - Keep Me Dancing // Cotton Park = 31
25. The Dead Milkmen - Punk Rock Girl // Domino Dancing = 31
26. Lynne and the Lizards - My Mistake // Phonetics Girl = 30
27. Stargard - What You Waitin' For // pop3blow2 = 27
28. Man 2 Man - Energy Is Eurobeat // Ezz = 24
29. Anticappella feat. MC Fixx It - Move Your Body // Hudweiser = 21
30. Miranda Sex Garden - Wheel // Filler = 18
    
    

 

Is this the most restrictive theme ever for me where I can currently only think of one song to send? Yass god!!

But it is a corker - what a boon!! <3

 

Haha, I knew you might struggle with finding songs in English.

 

• Awkward ✔️
• Pre-1996 ❌
• English ❌
• Virgin ✔️

I may not entirely fit this theme but I have a few songs in mind that do!

 

The way @ohnoitisnathan made a super-restrictive theme and I still had multiple options on my longlist to submit? EVERYTHING'S COMING UP livefromMILHOUSE!

 

I am... a hosting virgin. Maybe it was too restrictive. The 'virgin' part, though, is really the only 'restrictive' part.

 

I only say super-restrictive in the sense that there are three criteria to meet. There's still an abundance of songs for everyone to choose from! And it's your round, your rules (and I support these rules).

 

"Artist not sent to Retro before, in English, released before 1996" is like 90% of my longlist. We finally got a Filler-themed round!

 

It's early days, but of the 6 songs submitted so far, only 3 are on Spotify. It seems this may be the unofficial not-on-Spotify round, too ddd.

 

My first thought for my entry turns out not only not to be on Spotify, but in addition only exists on Youtube as a bad vinyl rip.

Back to the drawing board!

 

Wondering if I can entice @Eric Generic back for my round.

 

Given I'll know what your entry is anyway, could there be a chance I've got the video in my collection and could upload it? PM me!

And I share your pain. There's a song I considered entering this round, but it's not on Spotify, and only a 240p video exists on YouTube (and I don't have a better copy myself).

 

This concept truly is the "Make Berserkboi Sweat" theme (but looking at my longlist - I actually have a handful of things, which is great if my first pick gets vetoed ddd)

I wonder if anyone will bait me with something akin to Baila Bolero for the inclusion of just some FL words thrown in ddd

 

Also tagging @Derek as the reigning Champion of Virgins (TM) with Meri D Marshall who was railroading us so much (leading by 56 points at one point) that I had to jumble the ballot order, to the horror of @br0dy who was technically the first person to get a 12, but ended up the last participant on zero ddd

Good times!

 

An awkward early Kylie interview, where she's asked if she's anorexic and a loner.

 

Submission tea:

10 songs in, we already have one artist - with the same song - submitted by two people.

Dddddddd.

 

More submission tea:

There are, to my ears, songs sung by non-native English speakers to satisfy those with FL urges.