PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYONCÉ - Love, RJF. XOXO

Quite frankly, fuck using this format wrecking advert vehicle for the opening post. DO NOT POST UNTIL I'VE RESERVED THE NEXT TWO POSTS.

Instead, let us begin with the story of how such a monumental rate came to be...

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Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

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I don’t think any of us are ready for this.

As 2013 draws to a close, it feels appropriate to bring together four of Popjustice’s most talked about albums of the year for some kind of critique. When I thought about doing this, I said to myself: RJF, these albums and their artists are the bread of butter of Popjustice. You need to treat this event with respect and maturity where we intelligently discuss the highs and lows of each album. Prism with “Choose Your Battles” on one side then Generic Sonnets to the Penis of John Mayer #1-12 on the other. ARTPOP with its euphoric choruses on one side then its £1.99 production on the other. Britney Jean with its blessed gaps of silence between tracks on one side then the music on the other. BEYONCÉ with its admirable honesty and vulnerability on one side, then its brutally homophobic agenda in the video for “XO” on the other. Dizzying highs, crashing lows. RJF, I said, you need to create and moderate a thread where we hash out all these things in a civilised manner and come to a unanimous conclusion about what album is the best.

But then I thought that would be pretty boring, so I decided to host a shamelessly messy battle royale where a song’s quality is rated out of 10 and Jordananan howls in horror as “Unconditonally” becomes one of the first eliminations. HILARIOUS.

Our players, in order of album release:

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Katy Perry – Prism

Released on October 18th, Katy Perry’s third album saw a rather dramatic change in approach to her music. Her entire ethos towards the creation of the album was “let the light in” and let it in she did. Prism is so bright you can’t actually see or hear any kind of discernable identity. A few properly standout tracks aside, it is this rate host’s opinion that it’s an album that completely whitewashes the fun, warmth and unique lyrical twists that has made Katy Perry such an entertaining popstar up until now. However, will the voters agree?

1. Roar
2. Legendary Lovers
3. Birthday
4. Walking On Air
5. Unconditionally
6. Dark Horse
7. This Is How We Do
8. International Smile
9. Ghost
10. Love Me
11. This Moment
12. Double Rainbow
13. By The Grace Of God
14. Spiritual
15. It Takes Two
16. Choose Your Battles

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Lady Gaga – ARTPOP

Released on November 6th, Lady Gaga’s fourth (Third? Christ, who knows?) album saw her come in after a commercially successful but ultimately rocky album campaign. After six months of radio silence, she came blasting back into the pop sphere with an album she claimed was a melding of ART and POP. Your host’s personal opinion? Efficiently written, slightly shoddily produced, but ultimately an album that’s not as easy to love as previous efforts. A 7/10 effort when we all know Our Lady of the Gag should be hitting far higher than that. Do you concur with my opinions of this reverse Warholian experience? Or will our auras never combine?

1. Aura
2. Venus
3. G.U.Y.
4. Sexxx Dreams
5. Jewels & Drugs (Feat. T.I., Too $hort & Twista)
6. MANiCURE
7. Do What U Want (Feat. R. Kelly)
8. ARTPOP
9. Swine
10. Donatella
11. Fashion!
12. Mary Jane Holland
13. Dope
14. Gypsy
15. Applause

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Britney Spears – Britney Jean

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1. Alien
2. Work Bitch
3. Perfume
4. It Should Be Easy (Feat. Will.I.Am)
5. Tik Tik Boom (Feat. T.I.)
6. Body Ache
7. Til It’s Gone
8. Passenger
9. Chillin’ With You (Feat. Jamie Lynn)
10. Don’t Cry
11. Brightest Morning Star
12. Hold On Tight
13. Now That I Found You
14. Perfume (The Dreaming Mix)

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Beyoncé – BEYONCÉ

It was Friday 13th. It was a bit wet outside. I was a little hungover. I had barely got out my bed before Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter stood over me, gently caressed my cheek then dug her nails into my scalp and tore every single strand out of my head down to the follicle. Turns out I was just one of millions. BEYONCÉ, in this humble rate host’s opinion, is a properly true moment of pop music. It’s an artistic peak, emotionally raw and brave, exquisitely crafted and performed, and by the looks of things critically and commercially lauded. Do you agree with the majority of listeners? Or is perfection so… mmm?

I had a bit of trouble locating links to listen to the songs for this album. If you have no way of accessing a song, or actually know of a working link for any of the songs I’m missing, give me a shout.

1. Pretty Hurts
2. Haunted
3. Drunk In Love (Feat. Jay-Z)
4. Blow
5. No Angel
6. Partition
7. Jealous
8. Rocket
9. Mine (Feat. Drake)
10. XO
11. ***Flawless (Feat. Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche)
12. Superpower (Feat. Frank Ocean)
13. Heaven
14. Blue

So, we all know the score by now. You rate all fifty-nine songs out of ten, send your scores to me and I will compile them into a scoreboard where I figure out the ranking of all the tracks based on your scores. Then I draw out the reveal in an incredibly entertaining way… Hopefully.

As it’s been known to be a little problem before, I have PMed my own scores to invertedbutterfly before the opening of voting to ensure that I can’t go changing scores to effect the outcomes. I think normal procedure is to not vote, but I couldn’t resist.

So, I imagine we’re all quite familiar with these albums, but at the same time it’s New Year and everything’s a bit up in the air. Shall we give the voting process a good solid ten days? We’ll make it so your scores must be in by the end of January 10th, and I can start the reveal the next day.

And remember: don’t fuck it up.
 
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Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

59. It Should Be Easy - 3.33
58. Chillin' With You (Feat. Jamie Lynn) - 3.78
57. This Moment - 4.25
56. Don't Cry - 4.40
55. Hold On Right - 4.60
54. Now That I Found You - 4.67
53. Body Ache - 4.69
52. Tik Tik Boom (Feat. T.I.) - 4.76
51. Brightest Morning Star - 4.82

50. Dope - 4.86
49. It Takes Two - 4.92
48. Love Me - 4.96
47. Jewels N' Drugs (Feat. T.I., Too $hort & Twista) - 5.06
46. By The Grace Of God - 5.35

45. This Is How We Do - 5.39
44. Double Rainbow - 5.54
43. Ghost - 5.63
42. Perfume (The Dreaming Mix) - 5.64
40 Til It's Gone - 5.69
40. Unconditionally - 5.69

39. International Smile - 5.84
38. Spiritual - 5.87
37. Roar - 5.96

36. Rocket - 6.14
35. Superpower (Feat. Frank Ocean) - 6.16
34. Choose Your Battles - 6.28
33. Passenger - 6.33

32. Donatella - 6.38
31. Perfume - 6.42
30. No Angel - 6.48
29. Swine - 6.59

28. Alien - 6.7
27. Birthday - 6.78
25. Dark Horse (Feat. Juicy J) - 6.8
25. Mary Jane Holland - 6.8

24. Fashion! - 6.87
23. Aura - 7
22. MANiCURE - 7.03
21. Work Bitch - 7.24

20. Legendary Lovers - 7.3
19. Blue (Feat. Blue Ivy) - 7.37
18. Walking On Air - 7.38

17. ARTPOP - 7.49
16. Pretty Hurts - 7.57
15. Jealous - 7.64

14. Venus - 7.69
13. Heaven - 7.74
12. ***Flawless (Feat. Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche) - 7.75
11. Blow - 7.81

10. Mine (Feat. Drake) - 7.84
9. Drunk In Love (Feat. Jay-Z) - 7.86

8. G.U.Y. - 8.22
7. Applause - 8.29

6. Haunted - 8.35
5. Sexxx Dreams - 8.45

4. Gypsy - 8.55
3. Partition - 8.66
2. Do What U Want (Feat. R Kelly) - 8.85
1. XO - 8.95

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Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

I'm not quite sure I'm ready to actually give Britney Jean a listen yet.
 
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

I am so ready for this rate, ie I already made an excel spread sheet for it. Poor GrOOWN Woman.

Lets get to work bish
 
he / him
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

Prism is my favourite album right now. It's going to be getting some extremely high scores from me. I actually really like Britney Jean. ARTPOP is average and I daren't listen to Beyonce just yet...
 
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

YAAAAAAAAAAS. Finally a rate where I can give Chillin' with You the 10 it deserves.
 

Mr.Arroz

Staff member
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Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

I really don't want to listen to PRISM again.
 
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

Well, *cracks knuckles*

2 of these albums are fucking abysmal, 1 is alreet, 1 is a stunner. Are we allowed to give 0's? I do hope we are.
 
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

Oops, I've only listened to Britney Jean. I'll be giving He About To Lose me a 10 for sure. It deserves to win at least 1 of these things.
 
they / them
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

Completely unexpectedly, (and entirely thanks to Sainsbury's selling ARTPOP for £3.99), I now own three of these albums. And yet I'm still not sure I can face listening to Prism in order to vote in this...
 
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

Of course I'm going to participate, but giving Britney Jean another listen is going to be excruciating; the chorus of Tik Tik Boom haunts me in the wee hours of the night.

This will be the first rate Beyonce properly dominates, I think. There's such a decent jump in quality between ARTPOP and BEYONCE with the other two albums collecting sand at the bottom of the ocean in comparison.
 

Mr.Arroz

Staff member
he/him/his
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

Of course I'm going to participate, but giving Britney Jean another listen is going to be excruciating; the chorus of Tik Tik Boom haunts me in the wee hours of the night.

This will be the first rate Beyonce properly dominates, I think. There's such a decent jump in quality between ARTPOP and BEYONCE with the other two albums collecting sand at the bottom of the ocean in comparison.

Oh, of course. I rather enjoy Britney Jean but it's quite terrible.

ARTPOP and Beyoncé need to dominate all others.
 
he / him
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

Prism ought to trample every single song in this rate, but I know my taste is... Unique.
 
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

Zeroes are allowed. As are half-marks. I gave out a few of each in my scores which are now held by our games-master invertbutterfly.

I can't wait for the scores to start coming in.
 
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

Some songs I think are deservingly zeroes and then I find a new low and the curve upgrades some to .5
 
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

I need to finish some work, and then I'm doing this.

I CAN'T WAIT TO DESTROY BRITNEY JEAN, AND SHOWER LOVE ALL OVER ARTPOP AND BEYONCÉ.

*ahem*

Yes.
 
he / him
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

PLEASE SAY THERE ARE OTHERS THAT LOVE PRISM LIKE ME PLEASE
 
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

I can't believe I have to listen to Prism for this.

(Also not RFJ using 'effect' instead of 'affect'. #bye)
 
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Mr.Arroz

Staff member
he/him/his
Re: PJ's Ultimate Album Rate Pt III: Beyoncé Strikes Back - Prism VS ARTPOP VS Britney Jean VS BEYON

God, never again. The second half of PRISM is actually very painful. I can't remember any of the songs.

My averages were very interesting. Very, very much so. Can't wait to start this muhfugga.
 

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