Addison Grace - I Don't Wanna Fall In Love // Music Is Death
Also, I hope everyone likes my song. I just listened to it again and fell in love with it all over again.
Not me posting this accidental hint ddd.
Addison Grace is a 21 year-old trans masc singer/songwriter who uses he/they pronouns. He's release a series of singles over the past couple years, and released their debut EP, Immaturing back in May, which this song comes from. I came across the song by scrolling through my "For You" page on Tik Tok (which is mostly a mix of queer people making queer videos and book stuff, so my algorithm is perfect) and saw a video of him lip-synching to the bridge and final chorus and I was like "That sounds like something I'd love." Needless to say, it was. This song just really hit me on first listen and still does. I've been a hopeless romantic who loves love pretty much my whole life and would always wonder what that'd be like, to have that. Obviously for a long time, through media and real-life, I was shown what love and marriage was "supposed" to be like and how it's meant to play out for everyone. And even when I was younger, I'm not sure that idea ever felt right to me. Especially after realizing I was bi, I've been conflicted about balancing that "ideal" with what I mgiht want for myself. While no one over put pressure or expectations on me when it comes to this (thankfully), I did, and it was a bit of a struggle unraveling all of those expectations and freeing myself from them. And even though for a long time I've been able to say "I could marry anyone" just to acknowledge that women were still a possibility, I've been on a more recent journey of realizing I'm most likely homoromantic and just facing and accepting what that means for me, and fully letting go of the expectation of "You have to marry a woman". I also love that the song rejects the idea that you have
to settle down when you're young, which has been even harder to let go of as an adult. I'm surrounded by so many people around my age who are in long-term relationships, having kids (though I personally wouldn't want to spend my 20s being a father ddd) and have been in these relationships for a few years. It's always made me feel like, "What am I missing? Why can't I have that?" Going to therapy thoughout last year helped me let go of my desparation for a relationship and really learn to be okay with being single and on my own and I've been able to really let go of those questions and just be okay with knowing that I'll find my person whenever I find them. And I just really love the writing here across the song as a whole. I'm just gonna list my favorite lines and why now ddd.
"What if I'm not meant to love and I've lost all my chosen ones being picky and obscene? What if love wasn't made for me?" Ouch. While I never regretted breaking up with someone, there had been a couple times that I've thought I jumped the gun and should have tried harder or maybe I shouldn't have because now I'm single. There was even a period of time that I thought I couldn't actually fall in love because the endings never hurt me like it seemed like they should have. That is, until last August dddd.
"I'm tired of waking up in my own head, staring for hours at my phone in bed, swiping left, swpiwing right. None of it seems right." Oof the relatability! I find a couple dating apps to just be really hollow and painful in the long-run, but thankfully I've realized it's just a matter of finding which app works best for you, but this still hits.
Yes, I realize that was the entire first verse. Shhh.
"I wanna see the world, feel it all." YES. I want
this. Badly. Part of me wants to do it while I'm in love with someone, but I'm not trying to force it anymore and that feels so good.
"Love myself out of spite" Again, YES. I feel like there can be an idea pushed in media that you have to lose/sacrifice yourself to love someone when that shouldn't be the case. And I love spiting my demons ddd.
Okay. That's everything. Wasn't really planning on saying all of this but obviously I had a lot of thoughts on why I love this song so much and wanted to share with all of you. I really hope you liked the song and got something out of it.
Oh and obviously, I just absolutely love the bubblegum pop rock production. Can't help but jam and scream-sing along.
Also, shout out to @HarryEzra
for sending a song who's title is the opposite of my song's and one I also deeply related to. When I first saw that, I laughed dddd.