PJSC 124 - The Real Housewives of Popjustice - WINNER CROWNED!

He/Him
like how that's like the most basic wind chime possible, pretty sure you could buy one that looks exactly like that in any store that sells wind chimes dd
Hey, Dorit said it so…

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Oh hey bitches, it's finally time again for the first leaderboard check of the year.

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@livefrommelbs has won relatively recently but being the only person to achieve only medals thus far this year, he is winning by a margin.
The only winners this year make up the podium.

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But down the other end, @berserkboi is doing some kind of performance art, not cracking the 10 point mark this year.

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The ones of us that were just on the podium later year have all fallen, but I've decided that this is when I can send whatever the hell I want. But I'm sure @Attis and @soratami will find their way up again.

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Very well done to those who have already beaten their best score from all of 2022 @CaliDevotion, @A&E, @Tiger Suit, @DJHazey and especially @Filler who achieved their best result ever this year.

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Early prediction, I think the players that have had extended breaks from PJSC will win this year @A&E, @2014, @Connor Walsh, @londonrain and @Zar-Unity (or they can all just enjoy my music if they don't.)

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We hope you enjoyed our interlude now let's all finish voting.

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Who else will be joining in the fun this round?

@Disco Blister, represented by AVIVA DRESCHER

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Even if you've not watched an episode of the Real Housewives of New York, it's possible you've heard about THEE incident involving Aviva Drescher - in the final moments of Season 6, she pulled the stunt to end all stunts that ended with an artificial leg lying on the floor in the middle of a restaurant.

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What must be stressed, though, to those not familiar with the Big Apple's 'Wives, is that this is merely one of Aviva's many, many chaotic moments during her two seasons on screen. A relatively mild-mannered presence early on whose main problem, it seemed, was making sure her libidinous father didn't sexually harass any of her castmates, it was on the St Barts trip in Season 5 that Aviva's demonic tendencies first came to the fore as she began terrorising Sonja and Ramona in particular, labelling them "white trash, quite frankly". She iced herself out further from the group when grilling Carole on her writerly credentials early on in Season 6, and then refused to come on Kristin's Montana group trip, tossing medication and asthma inhalers towards her when rejecting her invitation.

A memorably hilarious Aviva sequence for me is during a lunch at Ramona's house following Aviva's Soul Cycle charity event; Aviva wasn't happy that Sonja and Ramona couldn't come, and while apologising, Sonja gets sidetracked talking about her embarrassed dog's diarrhoea. But Aviva can only endure a tangent for so long; as she interrupts declaratively that "it was about the CHILDREN who are MISSING LEGS!?!", her status as a franchise icon was firmly established.

@Disco Blister sent me the above .gif sequence in their PM when selecting Aviva; I want also to shout out @enjoy here, as they originally picked Aviva but were then vetoed, didn't send a back up and so couldn't participate in the round.

 
And back to another local hero...

@livefrommelbs represented by JANET ROACH

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Season 1 of the Real Housewives of Melbourne was dominated by a feud between Lonsdale Street's most bronzed barrister, Gina Liano, and queen of the checklist Andrea Moss. It probably wasn't until the following season that Janet Roach really came into her element - the arrival of Gamble Breaux birthed the "EVVVVVVERYBOOOOOODY" meme - and thus Janet revealed her true nature to the audience - a gossipy queen who doesn't put up with nonsense and can spew vitriol when necessary, but who also has a motherly, caring nature. The scenes shown with her and her son Jake, who was badly burned in a fire, and the tea business they built together were heartwarming.

These days, Janet is most regularly seen receiving physiotherapy treatment what with her having to carry virtually the entirety of the otherwise abysmal Season 5 on her back. When she's not doing that, she's busy buying up property or just enjoying time with her wealthy new partner, pharmacy mogul Sam Gance.

@livefrommelbs hasn't provided any commentary but I know Janet is a longtime favourite for him so I'll open the floor and let him rake in the likes for anything he'd like to say about one of Melbourne's all time greats.

 

@livefrommelbs hasn't provided any commentary but I know Janet is a longtime favourite for him so I'll open the floor and let him rake in the likes for anything he'd like to say about one of Melbourne's all time greats.

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Thank you my darling @klow - and apologies for not sending you commentary! I ended up in hospital (twice) last week so have been a bit all over the shop. Funnily enough, the last time I was in hospital in 2014 marked the first time I watched RHOM and began a deep and long-standing love affair with Janet aka Roachy if you're Jackie Gillies - so this feels fortuitous.

I remember that first introduction like it was only yesterday - which is a miracle, since it was 9 years ago and there was a shit-ton of morphine involved. I was drawn to Janet from her first scene. She had this perfect blend of aspirational glam and maternal warmth. The sense that she was a good time gal with money to burn and a fabulous life to boot, but a heart of gold too. Or at least diamond, melted down from the rocks life had thrown her way (side note, still not sure that's chemically possible but it made for a fabulous tagline). It was the brief throwaway moment of Janet stealing her camp-as-tits hairdresser's dog and running down a Melbourne laneway with it in her purse that really made me sit up and take notice. It was giving silly goose. And the only thing better than a bog-standard silly goose? A rich one on a reality TV show. Bring it on.

The canine theft turned out to be just the beginning. As @klow mentioned, Janet's powers were on a gentle boil for much of S1 - but the gorgeous girls knew she was the moment from the jump. Privy to all the goings on. Across all the gossip. Quite literally purveying the tea (even though that rather fittingly didn't take off until seasons after). And all the while, going through the season with an air of levity and playfulness that suggested she knew what franchise she was and how she could contribute. She's an underrated MVP of driving the narrative from day 1 and those powers only grew stronger as the seasons went on - to the point where by season 5, she was standing proudly and deservedly as the Queen of RHOM. I've got to reiterate @klow's point about her relationship/tea business with her son Jake too. It was scenes they shared and her genuine love and pride for him and his resilience that perfectly rounded out Janet's character. Give me a woman who's just as likeable coining the phrase Lydiot as she is celebrating her son's remarkable recovery.

Speaking of relationships! While her almost entirely-infallible friendship with Jackie is the alliance she's more known for, it's Janet's volatile relationship with Gina that I enjoyed the most out of any dynamic on the show. Over the years they exchanged some barbs (Janet telling Gina to go drown in the fucking pool while they were in Mexico springs to mind), there was always this sense of mutual respect and banter between them that I adored. Gina choking and laughing on her food when Janet tells Lydia (is it Lydia?) to 'get up and FUCK OFF' is a highlight. And remember that silly goose energy? It came back to bite Gina when Janet stole her gift at Venus' daughter's birthday and gifted it to her instead. Janet cackling away while Gina spirals is the high camp buffoonery that I get out of bed for in the morning (and trust me gals, getting out of bed is physically hard at the moment).

Honestly I could go all day. Apols for the essay. In short, Janet's amazing. She gives me all the dimensions I want from a housewife. She seems as excited to be a part of the goss as we are to watch it. And she, like the rest of us, learned the hard way that too much tequila will lead to shocking physical injury. (Don't worry, she and her new eyebrows are fine now.)
 
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