Heard the chorus over an Instagram video of some dancing homosexual or other, and stopped in my tracks like ooh – this sounds sexy, dangerous, and basic! Straight to PJSC we go!
I'm in denial that I'm an Instagram user, and I haven't posted or welcomed followers for years. When I signed up, I used it exclusively as an embarrassing thirst-follow account for attractive strangers, then locked it down after I discovered, to my bewilderment and horror, that Facebook – which I had not connected it to, other than them both being on the same phone – was recommending it to all my IRLs. "Your friend/cousin/nephew is now on Instagram! Click HERE to see that horny FAG scouting for DICK!"
But I never really left – when I'm at my least functional/most depressed, one of my stock idle animations is to open Instagram and sink into the malignant algorithmic brainhackery of the explore grid. If I occasionally find a PJSC entry this way, I can delude myself that it's a productive use of my time. 14th place (just the right side of the hotshot/hasbeen divide) is my most successful entry since my summer hit streak last year, so thank you voters for enabling my ongoing mental self-annihilation.