Good morning girls, gays, and their various associates; welcome to Episode 5 of PJXtra. I'm your host, @klow, who rode in on beginner's luck and Chilean disco strings to victory in @Doodvid and @WoW73's Club Tropicana iteration of this contest. Honoured and humbled to be helming this edition, I have two questions for you to answer. One: what's the best song you know released on or after 1 January 2000, in any language that isn't English or Spanish, and that doesn't fall foul of the "veto criteria" listed under the spoiler tag below? (I know; easy, right?) Two: what's your pleasure?!? Yes, for the side theme this round, we are taking inspiration from Ms Jessica Lois Ware, who, in between releasing her disco magnum opus What's Your Pleasure?, climbing over her personal trainer husband, renovating her house, posting dubiously Zionist content on Instagram, taking care of her two children, and releasing a kids' clothing line, manages to host a food-themed podcast with her mother. This podcast is called Table Manners, has allegedly received more than 80 million downloads, and recently spawned a now-bestselling cookbook. The format is simple - Jessie and her mother invite a celebrity guest to their house, cook them a meal, and record the dinner party conversation. Episodes have been recorded via Zoom during the pandemic, but the concept remains the same. Guests have included trans rights icons Munroe Bergdorf and Nigella Lawson, Buffalo poseuse Neneh Cherry, queen of swords Carly Rae Jepsen, bake-off doyennes Mel & Sue and Sandi Toksvig, ex-GA member Cheryl, ex-1D member Liam, ex-Spice Melanies B and C, Ross from Friends, Dula Peep, Sadiq Khan, and...Rick Astley. One question asked of all guests on the podcast is what would be the last meal you would have if you were going away to a desert island for a year? This is the question I'd like you to answer for the side theme. The ideal answer will contain a starter, main course, dessert, and drink and should be your ultimate menu. But if all you'd want is a serving of hot chips doused in oil and salt, then who am I to judge? Please be as descriptive and specific as you like. It could be something very elaborate, or a simple meal you ate with your family as a child that you associate with happy memories. It could be your favourite ice cream or something you ate on a holiday once and have never forgotten. If you wish to set the scene by describing where and with whom you're eating the meal, that embellishment will also be warmly received! There are no extra points if your food originates in the same region as your chosen song, but if you can manage that synergy, then I salute you. If you aren't interested in the side theme at all, then don't let that prevent you from entering the contest. It is optional and our main focus here, of course, is the music. ******************************* TL;DR: 1) Submit a song to me in a PM by 8:59 AM Friday 11 September AEST / 11:59 PM Thursday 10 September BST that is a) good and b) also fits the following criteria: Spoiler - is sung in any language other than that of the winning song from the most recent PJXtra contest (in this case - Spanish) and features less than 20% approximately of English lyrics. - hasn’t charted in the top 3 anywhere in the world and isn’t a Eurovision Song Contest entry (non-qualifying national final songs are eligible). - is performed by an artist with 30 pages or less of dedicated discussion on the Popjustice forum & didn’t participate in the most recent PJXtra competition. - hasn’t previously been entered into either PJSC, PJ00s or PJXtra. Use the linked spreadsheets to check. - if it is a cover version, is subject to certain criteria including if the song being covered is already famous/successful. When submitting your song, please include the name of the artist, title of the song, link to the song on Youtube and Spotify (if possible), the language of the lyrics, and the year it was released. 2) The submitted songs, once approved by our jury of gourmands, will be revealed at some stage on Friday 11 September. 3) From the selected songs, you will be able to choose 10 favourites and award them points in a ballot as follows: 12 points : your favourite song of the contest 10 points : 2nd place 8 points: 3rd place 7 points: and so on 6 points: and so forth 5 points: you get the point 4 points: stop go 3 points: fast slow 2 points: here together 1 point: what's your pleasure rahhh. You cannot vote for the song you submitted. Please keep your ballots secret! 4) Once your ballot is finalised, please send it to me via PM by Thursday October 1 (time to be determined). Failure to vote will mean your submitted song's points will be halved when the final tally is calculated. 5) In the same PM, or at any time by separate PM before results are revealed, please provide your answer to the question: what would be the last meal you would have if you were going away to a desert island for a year? 6) Results, and our ultimate menus, will be revealed in tandem on Friday October 2. 7) If you have any questions about the contest at all, please post in the thread or send me a PM and I will do my best to respond. Bon appétit, bébés.