Random Thoughts 2.0

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Got some new bands for my Fitbit today.

As a small update to my reading of the glorious 1500 page epic novel that is the Witness Thread, I would like to inform you all of the newest addition to my vocabulary: the word “Witnussy”.

I can’t remember who first coined this unique and fascinating addition to the English language, but my heart tells me it was probably @strangekin. And I admit when I first saw it, I didn’t think much of it. I mean, as a shockingly explicit gay male with an underarm fetish, I am constantly hearing various portmanteaus of a certain slang word for the female genitalia and random things, such as a bussy, Bionicussy, and Lotussy. None of them really phase me, as I prefer to call to my own cave of wonders my Joaqussy, after my middle name since the location of it is in the middle of my body just how my middle name is in the middle of my name.

But guys let me tell you: Witnussy has grown on me like a fungus. In fact, the word Witnussy has made me appreciate the Witness album more and the title track a lot more. While I did enjoy the album before, I wouldn’t say I loved it. But thanks to the existence of the word Witnussy, I now often listen to the album at the gym unironically.

There’s nothing more liberating and soul freeing than being on the treadmill and singing: “CAN I GET A WITNUSSY? I’M LOOKING FOR A WITNUSSY IN ALL OF THIS!”

We are all just looking for connections.
We all just want to be seen.
And isn’t all that we want in the end a Witnussy to get us through this?

Thank you wonderful citizens of Popjustice for gifting me with this addition to my vocabulary. I must now return to my job.
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