Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Itty Bitty Piggy, May 1, 2016.
It’s been a long 9 months girls
Oh we'll get some coffee alright..
Yas get it sis
I seriously need a new group of pals.
I’m always trying to organise stuff with them and it’s either a no sorry I’m busy or no response at all. When we do hang out, we always have a blast but I feel like I’m always an afterthought.
I work for a small company where everyone is a lot younger than me so can’t make new friends there. I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to meet new people who are on the same wave length as me etc.
L O L
Okay so I had the easiest breakup ever, despite the anxiety leading up to it.
I've moved arou d a lot, so I don't have the reliable group of friends lots of people have, and I often think 'how do adults make friends' ?
It probably doesn't help that I'm quiet anti social, but still.
I’m kind of the same. I always feel I’m socially awkward around new people too.
It’s just so frustrating with my current group of friends. There are 6 of us, one I haven’t seen since August, others I haven’t seen this year and haven’t seen any of them since February. Last week I asked if anyone fancied doing an escape room. All of them came back saying they were busy except one who said she’d need to check to see if she could get a babysitter. That was Sunday. It’s now Thursday and she still hasn’t got back to me. I know people are busy but it’s just so rude to leave people hanging. I want to be friends with people who make time for me like I always make time for them.
I moved back to Edinburgh a year or so ago and found myself in a situation where my previously very close friend group had splintered a little and people had kindof 'grown up' and weren't as available to hang out as they had been previously.
I found MeetUp to be pretty good in connection with new folks of similar interests. I'm also a little reserved/socially awkward but I've made a few good pals from the app.
I feel you. It kind of sucks to be the 4th or 5th option all the time. I have several acquaintances that i can spend time with, i guess, but no one, i can call friend since i moved to this new city, like four years ago.
I'm also 29 and haven't had a proper relationship, like ever. It has been weighing down on me since i desperately need some support due to my abuse history catching up with me and lord it has been painful.
I'm going to stop now as i can feel "laganjathisisjusttoofuckingmuch.gif" rising inside me but yeah, it sucks to see seeing your efforts at reaching out not getting validated.
Thanks, I will take a look at that site.
I’m supposed to be going to one of their houses next week for Eurovision but I don’t even really want to because I don’t feel like they deserve my time.
I joined a pop choir in January and that's widened my social circle quite a bit. It's a nice mix of people and everyone loves to talk music in the pub after.
I feel like another problem I have is that I'm not really sure of the social rules. Like, if you invite someone for dinner and they say no, is it appropriate to ask again?
Its particularly hard in cities with a low churn - at least London or Sydney is full of new people all the time.
I mean sure, after a suitable period of time, if you get knocked back twice, don't waste your time any further.
See this is my thing too. I’ll ask people and they’ll say no or not reply. I’ll ask again in a couple of months time and usually get the same result. I’ve stopped asking mostly.
Back in January, I asked 2 friends to the cinema. They both agreed yet when I asked them both times what time, no response. Ended up going alone and me being so passive aggressive made lots of digs about it where I knew they’d see it. They acknowledged it and apologised and then almost immediately did it again.
I think as I've gotten older I've become more aware of the social pecking order. I can see where I fit into peoples friendship groups and I'm fine with that, I know when and who to make the effort with.
This is the really hard thing about growing up that nobody tells you about
I think you should not bother with this people, honestly. They don't seem to value your time or effort, and certainly make none for you.
I can imagine it's not easy, but they don't seem good friends or friends at all? I don't suggest cutting them off, but maybe don't try to make plans with them or expect anything from them. Definitely try MeetUp and see if you can hook up with like minded people.
I also think, because it's been my experience and what I've witnessed, it's harder to make real friends after a certain age due to "adult" environments not being conducive to them. I haven't made new close friendships in the last maybe 3-5 years (I'm 31), but I'm lucky that I have an incredibly strong group of 10+ people who I always see and plan things with (even if we don't live in the same country at the moment). But most of those I've know for 7, 10, even 20+ years. I think friendships blossom when there's constant contact (school, courses, neighbours), and some are lost when that repetition stops.
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