Relationships | Page 521 | The Popjustice Forum


Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Itty Bitty Piggy, May 1, 2016.

  1. Well in my situation, it kinda felt like we had broken up about a month before we made it official. Afterwards, I felt free and ready to move on.
    londonrain likes this.
  2. He


    I guess it depends on the breakup and the people? Usually people go through stages after it, others do so at break neck speed. My ex was dating someone 3 weeks after we broke up, I haven't dated since (over 5 years).

    Some are ready for new things, or new flings help them cope, others cannot stand the sight of them, others feel like they don't need them much anymore (me).
  3. I went on a date yesterday.

    We met for afternoon drinks. We went for a walk. We went for more drinks.

    The conversation kept flowing and he made me laugh.

    He's asked to see me again this week.

  4. G'won lad.
  5. I kind of crave dates more than a relationship, like meeting new people and just seeing if chemistry and attraction exists is just kinda nice.

    I think there’s tremendous freedom and excitement in getting to make a first impression
    Rem, Jacques, Someboy and 11 others like this.
  6. It depends on the person. I've kind of noticed that the people I almost got serious with ended up being serial monogamists. Kind of forcing the relationship on me when it still needs to organically grow. Nothing really wrong with that because it's nice to find people that are relationship oriented, but since relationships are still new ground for me, it kind of made me weary and put a bit of added pressure on myself and each others expectations.

    Honestly, kudos to people who know what they want and just go for it.
    kal, FINISH LINE, K94 and 2 others like this.
  7. I used to love going on dates when I was young, but now I'm like 'can I be bothered with making small talk with someone I potentially won't like?'. I could do with a crush ideally, but none has presented themselves.
  8. He


    Yes, I feel the same way. Though I never dated much.

    I also haven't had a crush since... 2012? Yikes, I might have died or something.
  9. I quite liked 'dating' when I did it, but I always found I'd tell the same stories and inevitably get super drunk.
  10. Men are scum and life is too short to waste on them.

    KamikazeHeart, Overdose, K94 and 4 others like this.
  11. My god i fucking hate dating. There is nothing exciting about anxiously waiting to see someone response and wondering if you said something wrong, or the tired old game of pretending you don’t care. Is TOO MUCH.
    KYLE, electroplate, Overdose and 5 others like this.
  12. Like this all sucks, but it's also a lot of fun in weird ways.
  13. I can't be bothered with that. Just be up front, and if they think you're too full on then who can be arsed with that? You want to spend a huge chunk of your life with someone who plays games? Life's too short.

    Plus, if you're not excited at the start, if you're capable of holding back then what hope is there for later on?!

    (Obvs I'm totally single and probably will be for life)
    Overdose, Tigerlily and Terminus like this.
  14. I’m in a relationship. kii
    (I was talking out of experience. If i’m back to being single again i don’t even know what would i do since i just became so used to having someone there all the time)
    londonrain likes this.
  15. So, where to begin? I kinda did that…I faced my fears, hoped on the Eurostar and snatched what I feel like I deserved - that dick. And I didn’t vomit this time! I can’t lie, there were moments in the first two days where I had to pop some paracetamol, but that didn’t stop me from popping my bussy. We’re friends, we’ve been friends for 8 months and that just made the whole experience more…fun and easy? I feel like the best parts about sex are the ones that no one really talks about: the laughter, the awkward moments like when your cross gets in the way (I was…mortified) and just being in the moment. It was everything I wanted it to be and I’m really surprised. It’s the first time I’ve had sex with someone I’m actually attracted to, as weird as that sounds. Going forward, I no longer feel the need to accept advances for the sake of it; sex isn’t something to be…endured, it’s something to be enjoyed.

    I still don’t really want a relationship but there were some moments where I got a feeling of what it would be like, and I didn’t hate it…? Okay, so it was pretty weird at some points, and downright scary at others. I’ve benefitted from passing privilege my entire life, so being in a position where strangers could identify me as gay and harm me as a result was…sobering. Being French, he’s very tactile, and there was a moment where he put his arm around me in the subway station and the entire platform looked like they were about to murder us nn. For the most part, we remained totally friendly and platonic and saved any affection for when we were in his flat. Although I don’t like PDA, I certainly feel closer to my LGBT+ fam as a result, in a way that I’ve never felt before. I’m still coming to terms with the whole thing, but this all felt very important.

    I found it hard to say goodbye after having such a wonderful four days, but I knew the deal from the start and I am still feeling uplifted by the whole experience. Going back to reality and having to still lie about the whole thing has been difficult, but that doesn’t take away from how big a step this was for me. I am working to normalise all of this in my own head, and then maybe I can normalise it in the eyes of my loved ones to. I want to be a loud and proud advocate, and I’m gonna try my hardest this summer to be that, but I need to make sure I am emotionally ready for how much harder my life could get as a result.

  16. Yaaaaaaaas

    LTG, londonrain, junglefish and 6 others like this.
  17. You wrote an entire novel and yet here I am, scrolling down and liking it right after I read this. Yas sis x

    evilsin, LP, LTG and 11 others like this.
  18. That's great @constantino! Sex is meant to be something to enjoy and I'm glad you enjoyed yourself and the experience.

    Do what you feel like you should do on your own time!
    londonrain, constantino and andru like this.
  19. So.. to say my life has been a rollercoaster these past few months would be an understatement. New meds, suicidal thoughts, a shitty time at work, using alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism. Everything has felt like a blur.

    However this past month has been particularly testing. Around this time last month I abruptly stopped receiving contact from my boyfriend. At first I was not particularly concerned. He suffers from a form of narcolepsy, so it is not unusual for him to sleep for days at a time. But after the third day I decided to send his mother a text to ask if things were OK with him, to which she explained to me in very vague terms that he was at the police station being tested for drugs. I wasn't too alarmed because he was still on his probation period after being caught a year or two ago. This was before we entered a relationship, by the way.

    So I waited, and waited. Sporadically texting his mother for updates. In the first 2 weeks she told me that he had said he would be "out soon", and to "wait for me". However, 2 weeks turned to 3 weeks, 3 weeks turned into a month and I still know next to nothing about what is going on. I can only assume he was caught with something, but whenever I probe his mother she either deflects the question or doesn't answer at all. At this point it is starting to get really frustrating and upsetting because as his boyfriend I want to know what the hell is going on. I gave her a letter to send to him, which she said she did and he said "thankyou", but when I asked her if I could get a reply, silence.

    Like in this situation I have no idea what to do. Things were OK between us until last month and it just feels very odd. I'm not sure if his mother is any kind of legal obligation to keep her silence but it sucks being left in the dark like this. It makes me wonder, what next? I am still very much in love with him and there is no real catalyst for a breakup, but at this point I am wondering if I will ever see him again. I just want an answer, to talk to him, just something instead of being caught in limbo. I feel like even if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to move on with a free conscience without knowing the truth.

    This sucks
  20. "he was at the police station being tested for drugs"

    He was being tested? Wouldn't that be at a hospital?

    Sounds as if he's been arrested and charged with possession, could he be in prison? Was he dealing?
    Dee91, toby3000 and londonrain like this.
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