Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Itty Bitty Piggy, May 1, 2016.
Go Go Go Go
Maybe but a lot of people give over-complex statements about their values and interests and I'm just like "I don't need to be inspired rn hun".
Went on a third date. Movie and ice cream. Made out in his car. That's as far as we've gone.
I feel like I'm dating in 1955, and I'm kind of living for it.
Honestly, I really wish men would stop this whole "mindlessly obsessed" thing. Like, we went on one date and maaaaybe chilled - but I ain't tryna be your boo, your bae, or your man. Especially when I explain that I can't/won't offer you any more... which only makes the chase even more extra?!?! I get being infatuated and all, but it gets to be desperate, which only makes me lose more interest, which only makes them try harder to get it back and UGH. The cycle is never-ending.
wait a min not me being currently in this situation where im the desperate one!!
UGH I THINK I'M ACTUALLY IN THE PROCESS OF DATING HIM FOR REAL. This is weird and I feel giddy. His smile. The nape of his neck. The way he links pinkies under the table when we're listening to our friends tell stories over drinks.
I wish a hookup would get just a biT obsessed with me but every time I say ‘I’m not looking for more’ they just go ‘k cool great’ and I never hear from them again
For once I’m on the same boat as @Mr.Arroz
We had a couple of nice dates, I got a bit drunk and flirty on first, and toned it down a lot for the second, and didn’t even attempt a kiss, but he’s perfectly pleasant, and we get on, just not in a fancying him whatsoever way. Sometimes you want them to get the hint, instead of being brutal, sometimes (usually the position I’m in) they don’t get the hint.
Oh well, I am very interested in the Dr I’m talking to, and he moves very close next week.
I think karma's come to bite me in the ass for slagging off that blokes dirty fingernails, in that I'm starting to like him quite a bit, but he's not seeming as into it as I am?
Even though he says he's busy, if I'm messaging him (and he's reading them) but not replying... that's clear as day isn't it?
He spontaneously played Charli/Christine's "Gone" while we were making out in his car.
Guess you could say we're getting married.
Here's some motivation for you.
Now this actually looks like supernanny.
She actually does!
This is such a great relationship song.
She really hits all the right spots.
I really need some advice. I’m really not sure why I’ve came here first, I think I need the advice of people I don’t know before talking to friends who are more likely to have a biased opinion etc.
My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 5 years, and for 3 of those we’ve lived together. I’ve had niggling feelings for a while now that I’m not entirely happy. I’m finding it difficult to make a decision about what to do because our lives are so intertwined at this point. We live together, do weekends away with his parents and so on and they refer to me as their third son and it’s so hard to know I will be hurting them as well as him. His friends are mine and mine his etc.
It’s fucking breaking my heart just even posting this, because it’s like writing it down here is making it more real. Neither of us have done anything to make me feel like this, he’s an amazing man and I can’t stress enough how much he’s helped me over the years. It’s killing me that it’s just came to this because it’s even sadder than something happening to get to this point. It’s like I’ve just gradually fell out of love with him. We’re living together but more like friends and flat mates than a couple.
I love him so dearly as a person and I don’t want to hurt him, but I just feel this isn’t fair on both of us. One word to describe this situation is FUCK.
Any advice, please?
I think we've all been in this kind of situation (me more times than I like to remember) Without being blunt - is nothing happening between you sexually? If you don't feel like you want that side of things anymore then sometimes that's a tell tale sign - well it is for me. If everything they do just niggles away and annoys you then that's probably a sign as well. What do you think he thinks? the same? Have you mentioned it or spoken about it?
From what you've said it doesn't seem like talking to anyone (professional or friends) is going to help. Don't fall into the trap of telling too many people and trying to take their opinions on board - you have to be selfish in this situation - yes it will hurt and be difficult for a lot of people but what's the alternative? Live unhappily for another few years/lifetime! A few months pain for a lifetime of happiness is worth it. Trust me.
I don't know if I can give you much advice. Just that I understand your pain, since it's the most baffling situation, when nothing "bad" has happened but you just don't think you can continue.
Do you think he might feel a bit similarly? Even if he doesn't, I think opening a discussion with him about your happiness and his, and hinting and leading to where you are at right now, might be best.
Talking to others who might not see why this is happening, could make you feel worse, especially if they are biased in favor of you staying together. They cannot understand how you feel.
I’ve had two long term relationships that both ended in this manner. Nothing happened, we just fell out of love and ended up just going through the motions. It is very sad and frustrating but it happens and is quite common in relationships. You need to talk to him and see how he feels - sometimes talking it out might change things for the better, you might realise some changes that need to be made to make things work again? If you do break up it will be hard for a while but if you both agree it’s for the best things will eventually work out. I’m actually best friends with one of the exes and the other is still someone I meet up with every so often for a catch up, still good friends! Good luck with whatever happens.
@baxterclan @He @ElectricKnight
Thanks guys, really appreciate it. You’ve all just confirmed what I know I probably need to do. This fucking sucks.
I feel like he thinks we’re totally fine and we’re just in the ‘settling down’ phase of the relationship (which we are I guess). As for sex, we are still having sex a couple, maybe three times a week, but it’s usually him that initiates it. If he didn’t it would happen a lot less I think.
I just feel really overwhelmed right now. It’s very daunting to have been so safe for 5 years and all of a sudden I’m potentially going to be back out there on my own again. I just feel so guilty. It’s like just last week, his parents helped me out with some money to get my car fixed, and I repay them by dumping their son? Ya know?
Are you sure there's nothing salvageable? If you're still having sex then surely theres still some passion there? I know from my past experiences in a similar situation the sex would still happen but not as frequent as that (monthly if that) and it felt like a tick box (let's get this over with) because I didn't really want it to happen.
Separate names with a comma.