Relationships | Page 532 | The Popjustice Forum


Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Itty Bitty Piggy, May 1, 2016.

  1. When you get a reputation, and we all laugh about it, as it’s a joke,
    Then things start firing up with the ex of a good friend...
    I guess my reputation, is
    Music Is Life likes this.
  2. Wow. This post really touched me since I've been through something similar with my twin brother. Long story short, sometimes you hate people because it's easier to deal with them this way. It's a way for the brain to block any emotions/memories you share with him.

    On a positive note, my brother and I totally worked out our differences and I realised that at one point, I resented who he was become and not who he is. Don't feel bad for having empathy towards him. People like you are becoming rarer.
    xtophermorrison likes this.
  3. Last week was so bizarre... which included finding out stuff about the guy I was starting to get into.

    I worked with the guy for a week straight (after working with him for about a month), for three days he was so attentive and sweet and funny. Just telling me about his life. It was nice. Then two things happened during the remaining two days. I finally worked with him around other people and got to see that he was mercilessly hitting on everything. Like, for instance, on lesbians who were not interested in him at all. So that was fun. Then he turned to me and said "Yeah, like two weeks ago, I broke up with my girlfriend. I really tried, for three years, but it just wasn't going to work". Which means that when I had met him a month ago, and he was being massively flirty, he wasn't single and was with someone "he was really trying to make it work with".

    So I took a massive step back and his behavior after that was so strange. Like telling me that he's going to Vegas with buddies, but "he think's he's just going to stay in". Like, what? He's this young hot 28 year old, recently single, and he's just gonna stay in a hotel room????? Bitch, fucking please. (In fact he spent so much of his time trying to shape himself into this image, saying things to me that amounted to "I'm just such a good guy".)

    I closed myself off after that, which obviously went well for me based on his reaction. He seemed so desperate to get my attention, anything from me. On the last day, I turned to him and said, "I hope I never see you ever again". I guess he thought I was being flirty or something, cause he was smiling, but suddenly a frown crept up his face.

    Some of the girls started to confide in me about what he was doing to them (like getting too close into their personal space, touching them in a way that's borderline not appropriate, saying things that where borderline not appropriate). Just fucking great. He did all the same stuff to me too, but I was into it, while there girls were either not into him or have boyfriends.

    I did make one big mistake, but it doesn't matter now. I asked if he wanted to go to a Dodgers game and he was very excited to go, trying to plan it all out. We have a mutual coworker/friend and I suggested that we should invite him too. (I figured it would make it less awkward for him then having to just go with me.) He said "Ohhh, yeah...", but he sounded so disappointed that I would suggest that. He confessed that he tried to go with that friend, but it didn't work out. The subject got dropped pretty quickly after that.

    Or, like always, I'm just being a giant mess.
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2019
  4. I don't really understand what you were attempting with this comment?
  5. Soap Opera Grand Statement style vindication?

    It never turns out the way you think it will, it’s real life.
    Euphoria and Mr Blonde like this.
  6. My sister is a bit of a dick to the rest of us, but gets a lot of support from our parents (because she's the only one with kids, which is all they ever talk about). She forgets birthdays but erupts if a card bound for my niece or nephew is a day late, and basically spends any gathering trying to insinuate that my brother and I have it too easy by comparison and that we wouldn't be able to handle a day in her shoes. It's made worse by the fact that neither of us really react to it, so she just gets wound up more. We both moved far from home (halfway across the world in his case) whereas she's 10 minutes down the road from my folks, which she seems to resent.
    LP and spaceship like this.
  7. Family dynamics can be really tough and complicated and it sucks that it feels like you're always in a competition against her. I think the best way to deal with her is to just avoid arguing and always taking the high road. I know it can get tiring but it's better than dealing with outbursts.
  8. Oh everyone does, but she hasn't learned, in a way she sees our lack of reaction as confirmation that she's allowed to be a tool.
    londonrain and spaceship like this.
  9. You know a couple of weeks back I mentioned a friend that had a mentally abusive boyfriend and they confided in me about their issues, etc.

    Well as you know even though they told me I had "opened their eyes" to it, they were still lovey-dovey with each other on social media. Anyhoo, skip to now and this person who I thought was a dear friend has basically ghosted me the last week. Ignores all my messages...

    I'm so frustrated.
  10. Maybe that friend talked to the boyfriend about it and he convinced them that you are a bad influence or jealous of their relationship. It wouldn't be nothing new in mentally abusive relationships. These people are fantastic manipulators.
    LP, londonrain, andru and 6 others like this.
  11. Yep, I thought the same. Especially as the boyfriend detests me because I've had it out with him about this shit in the past.
  12. He


    In order to keep your friend closer, and maybe be of more help to them if things get worse, you might need to dial back on your antagonising of their partner.
    Riise likes this.
  13. They came to me with the problems, that's where my frustration comes from. I don't get involved with my friends love lives at all.
  14. Maybe maintaining a relationship with you is a daily reminder that what they're doing is not the right thing and they would rather be in denial.
  15. He


    Yeah, I understand. But it's a very complex situation when there's abuse. So, if you want to keep seeing them, you might need to act differently and change your tune: try to give them support, instead of targeting his partner all out.

    Of course, you don't need to do all this labour, since it is quite taxing as well.
    londonrain likes this.
  16. Had a first date after a long while and it went really well. Turns out the guy I went out with is the ex of a good friend of mine and my friend did not have nice things to say about him.

    Last edited: Jul 11, 2019
    LP, londonrain, papatrick and 31 others like this.
  17. 2014

    2014 Moderator

    my straight friend just asked me to be his wingman for a thing he's going to tomorrow and I'm like.......did you message the wrong person hhhhhhh

    londonrain, papatrick, R92 and 11 others like this.
  18. So my emotionally and mentally abusive ex partner has spent this week sending friend requests to my friends back in North Staffordshire and tonight he sent one to my current boyfriend. The bf challenged him why he would send the request to which he claimed it was “a mistake”.

    It’s clearly not and I don’t understand why he would be reaching out to my friends and my boyfriend after SIX YEARS of absolutely no contact whatsoever. It’s really bothering me but what’s more bothersome is that i’m too chicken to message him myself and tell him to piss off and crawl back under whatever rock he slithered from under.
    londonrain likes this.
  19. Being back home for the past month made me realise how much I truly detest my mother and how I wish I could just cut her out my life but alas it ain’t that easy
    LP, londonrain, KamikazeHeart and 9 others like this.
  20. You’ll figure it out. I haven’t spoken to or seen my family of origin in 3 years. You’ll learn all kinds of fun things about yourself, like how many times you can cry in one day, but also who you are as a person outside of shitty people who may have otherwise defined you. It’s a lot of work and I’d recommend working with a therapist before taking any action, but there’s yet a day to go by where I regret it.
    LP and londonrain like this.
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