Relationships | Page 538 | The Popjustice Forum


Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Itty Bitty Piggy, May 1, 2016.

  1. Has anyone else had a friend, that after a while you just realise you don’t really have that much in common and you can’t relate, but they try the keep the friendship going whereas you’re happy just letting it fizzle out? This has happened to me and I feel so fucking horrible but it’s life isn’t it? I just need some reassurance that I’m not the bad guy.
    munro and letuinmybackdoor like this.
  2. No it's natural. I had a friend I lost touch with for years and we got in touch through Facebook. At first it was brilliant and like the old days but once you've talked about the old days you realise your lives are so different and I've kind of grown out of them, plus they kept letting me down over stuff and I had to let go. Social media friends will do for me.

    But yeah, sometimes friendship has a sell by date, sadly.
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2019
    Seger and MadameX like this.
  3. This is lowkey happening to me and someone i've been friends with for over 10 years, except i'm the one trying to keep it going ddd. It's a rubbish situation but your friend is likely picking up on the signs themselves and trying to prevent it from happening. It's one of those "rip the band aid off" moments in life that you're just gonna need to tackle sis. It'll be shit at the time but i'm sure you'll feel less awkward once the conversation has actually been had and you don't need to act x
    Seger likes this.
  4. Friendships come and go but that doesn't make them less worthy or less valuable. It's okay to have them develop over time in whatever way happens.
    Seger likes this.
  5. Sometimes you just need a break from friends. I let one fizzle out then picked it up again 2 or 3 years later and we get on better than ever now.
    Seger, MadameX, steste and 3 others like this.
  6. This all is #dark but here goes... I have serious anxiety issues, so "the future" is a scary concept, and I grew up with no models on which to build a relationship where people still like each other 20+ years down the road. I broke up with my boyfriend - who I knew, then and now, was the best thing to ever happen to me - because the future freaked me out, and because my drunken low self-esteem ass needs validation from strangers, generally via hookups. He (the ex) and I are supposed to have a conversation about why we broke up so abruptly (which was my choice/mistake) and I'm dreading it. I guess the advice I can offer you is to continue exactly what you're doing until you find someone worth being exclusive with. I didn't read any replies to your post, so this has probably been brought up, but really I think exploring all of your options until you find someone worth exploring the steps toward a traditional monogamous relationship (if that's what you want) with is the way to go. I feel like this was a string of nonsense, but I'm also drunker than I'm used to being on a Wednesday, so I definitely invite any and all PM questions you might have to avoid the damage I've done to my life. Too melodramatic? Sorry, can't be blamed for the pop that's saturating the market right now. But seriously, my advice is to do whatever feels right in the moment until you find something you want to explore for more than that moment.
    playboy69 likes this.
  7. This was so interesting to me as I've done exactly the same thing as you - breaking up with my ex abruptly because of the same reasons. I'm so glad he's giving you a chance to meet and talk about it though, I really hope you two manage to sort it out and be together. Unfortunately I didn't get that chance with my ex as I continued to screw things up with him after I broke up with him and he wont talk to me at all now so I have to move on but I just can't and it's literally ruining me. So good luck!!
    Wishlight, Island, rav4boy and 2 others like this.
  8. I'm not an expert on you (obviously) but I feel maybe we're similar. In two relationships, at the exact same point (ie the point where I panicked about about being in a 'serious' relationship) I kissed another boy in front of them. In both cases I think it was my way of getting out of a relationship, and in both cases they forgave me.

    Neither of those relationships worked out, but I think they were both 'worth' being exclusive with - despite my self sabotage.

    BUT I do think you have to do what feels right - don't have a boyfriend because it seems like the best option, because I've also had 'logical' boyfriends and it's always a disaster
  9. the username jumped out
    Mikl C likes this.
  10. All I've seemed capable of for the past few years is random sex / regular hookups. I've been on the very occasional date but I never have any interest in anybody at all beyond getting laid. I've been working a lot at internships and going back to school, and I've moved country 4 times in 3 years, so I guess that's my focus in general right now, but my best friend (we're both 28) has been in an LTR, moved in and got married with the guy, and is now thinking about a divorce and I just feel about 10000 miles behind where other people my age are. I don't know whether I think my problem is not having a relationship or not wanting to have one? I have some great friends whom I love dearly but I definitely like being on my own. I guess I'm just venting at this point.
    Andrew.L likes this.
  11. I love that you're like 'I'm so far behind, I haven't even got divorced yet'

    But seriously - if you're happy single why would that be a problem? You can always change your mind, and unless you want children there's no particular hurry to do anything.
  12. I guess you're right, I just a feel bit like
    JMRGBY likes this.
  13. Being alone is underrated, teebz
    Wishlight, Lander, Rem and 23 others like this.
  14. When I see some of the shit people go through in relationships (and some of the shit I've been through), it often feels like being alone is very, very, very much underrated..
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2019
    Wishlight, Seger, Meathook and 5 others like this.
  15. I guess I've just experienced the opposite problem to what some of you guys may have had. I'm a girl and I was starting to become interested in a male acquaintance at work...but it didn't take long for me to realise, via his social media, that he's gay!

    Before I discovered this, all I really knew about him was that we have similar personalities (introverts) and are of similar ages. A few weeks ago we had a brief chat and it felt nice to get a smile/eye contact from him. Normally I think I'm quite good at spotting 'gayness', but with this guy it wasn't obvious. Oh well (again - not long after I was turned down by another crush).
  16. I've been seeing this guy for several weeks and I thought it was going great - like, I haven't been this excited about anyone in years - but now I think he's ghosting me. So, that sucks. I'm handling it better than I thought I would but I still feel like he should just tell me he's not interested anymore. I don't think ghosting is a great thing to do to someone in any situation but it's not like it was just one date. We've been seeing each other.

    Ugh, anyway. I've been single for so long it's not like it changes anything to go back to it.
  17. That sucks. I get where you are coming from with the whole being single for too long times, it's quite a change of pace when I end up doing things with others- walking, going to a movie, a concert, etc. I have to be somewhat in tune with the other individual versus just being able to do whatever I want, however I want, etc.

    Actually, I've been platonically (I established this early on in meeting him) hanging out with this dude, who is in an open marriage, and he told me he liked me yesterday. It sucks because I only have two gay friends- one has a boyfriend and I never see him and the other is a grumpy man, who I love and adore, but can only handle in small doses. I've enjoyed being able to connect with him but I am definitely going to give our friendship some space for a little bit.
  18. You know that person (my friend) a while back that confided in me about their partner basically mentally abusing them and asking my advice etc. Three times in the last five months they've cried to me about how they were/are treated and wanting my help. Anyway, last month he finally left the prick.

    You could physically see he was happier in himself and he was so grateful to be out of that situation. Skip forward to last week and the prick posted a picture of him and my friend at a hotel? So my friend has basically got back together with him...

    I know it's awful, but I think for my mental health I need to cut this friendship off.
    Lander, Doodvid, LP and 3 others like this.
  19. I've been in a relationship now for over a year, he told me he loved me about 3 months in and I wasn't ready so was honest with him. 9 months later and I still don't love him. I know I need to end this but it's so hard, he is literally so good to me and I love spending time with him...I'm just not in love with him. How do I end up in these situations, it's literally unbearable, the thought of hurting him.
    johnny_tsunami and londonrain like this.
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