Relationships | Page 539 | The Popjustice Forum


Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Itty Bitty Piggy, May 1, 2016.

  1. Companionship is why most people date / have partners. If everything else is great, stay. Love sometimes comes later.
  2. You can always make it clear that you’re around if and when he chooses to leave the guy again (just so he doesn’t fall into the trap of believing he will be totally adrift if he walks out again), but yeah, at some point your own mental health has to take priority over trying to protect your friend.
    Wishlight, Lander, Seger and 3 others like this.
  3. Sis I know what you mean but why do you think you need to end this relationship? He might have fallen in love with you and you haven't yet but if you enjoy spending time with him and genuinely enjoy his company why... do you feel the need to end the whole thing? Love can come or it might not for good but as long as you're being honest about your feelings and he's happy to be with you then... just be happy?

    This. Love is great but it's a bit overrated.
    Seger, Espeon and enjoy v2.0 like this.
  4. Just ask them about it first, what happened and why they returned if that's the case.

    My friend went through a similar break-up a while ago. Her prick went crazy and, among other things, uploaded old photos of them on Instagram pretending they were still together.
    londonrain likes this.
  5. This is what my ex told me when he broke up with me, and I doubt he's going to find what he's looking for. Love is choosing to be with somebody. Feelings come and go - you'll have periods where a relationship is nothing more than shared economy and sex - and then you'll have periods where you're waking up with butterflies every day.

    If you feel you need to leave, then that's the right thing to do. But just be sure about why you're doing it.
    Wishlight, Inky, Seger and 9 others like this.
  6. I've done this and more for them, I've let him stay with me for weeks and I've picked up the pieces every time. This feels like the final straw, I feel like a complete pushover and I've had enough of worrying about his health when he doesn't think of anybody else.

    This Insta pic was definitely taken the other week because they started acting suspect with those of us that have been there the last few months.

    We've all basically washed our hands of him because it's too exhausting going over this again and again.
    londonrain and Music Is Life like this.
  7. Can I ask for some advice with this? I’m honestly terrible with dating and I overthink everything. I texted him on Saturday and he didn’t really respond but he was away so I tried not to think too much about it. I didn’t text him again until Monday but when I did I said that I hoped he had a great weekend away. Then, last night he finally responded and said “Thanks. Got lots of sun” with a smiley face.

    Now I’m not sure what to say back. On the one hand, he didn’t ghost me. But on the other hand, his response to me didn’t really invite a conversation and kind of confirms my suspicions that he’s lost interest. (I should mention we had a GREAT date on Friday but then it ended awkwardly and that’s why I have all these doubts now, plus he’s been very sparse with his texting.) Can I ask him what’s going on? Or, more directly, how can I ask in a way that doesn’t make me seem insecure (which, duh, I am). I don’t know if I’m interpreting things the wrong way and I don’t want to make something an issue if it’s not, but I’d like some clarity too.

    Or, do I just wait to see if he texts me again?

    I feel so embarrassed about all of this and having to ask. Dating honestly brings out the worst in me, which is probably why I’m single!
  8. Just arrange another date? If he dodges then you know and if not then you can go from there
    Floppie, Andrew.L, londonrain and 2 others like this.
  9. That seems like the most logical thing I could do. Makes sense that I wouldn’t think to do it.
  10. Thanks for the advice, to be honest I'm pretty surprised at some of the responses. I guess I just miss that feeling of being in love, I've had it a few times and nothing beats it. I'm just really confused, I'm at the age where I'm getting old and I guess I'm worried about youth slipping away forever and never getting that love I've had in the past ever again.
    AllRed and johnny_tsunami like this.
  11. Girl get that 365 spoon and stop daydreaming about what usually lasts a week or so.
  12. That feeling of love you're talking about is just a temporary brain chemical that inevitably fades away within a few months. There is a different kind of love and companionship that comes with long-term partnership. It's like how your brain releases the most Oxytocin when you embrace a long-term's different and certainly not as exciting or elating but it provides comfort and security that you don't get from those initial, overwhelming feelings of falling in love.
  13. Although to quote Ramona Mazura Singer on a Hooters yacht, my current partner? I'm still......HOT for him.
    K94, Meathook, Kuhleezi and 8 others like this.
  14. So last year I went on my very first two dates with a lovely guy, then he ghosted me.

    Fast forward to a couple of days ago, I saw him pop up on my Grindr and we got chatting and he basically outright said to me he always had a boyfriend but just went on dates with me because he felt sorry for me. Kii.
    Yuri, Mikl C, Meathook and 6 others like this.
  15. Slash his fucking tyres and tell the boyfriend...
    Unless they’re open, then just the tyres.

    Ugh, gays.
    baxterclan, Wishlight, K94 and 11 others like this.
  16. That’s disgusting behaviour. I hope you blocked him and you’re ok. Why are people like this?!
  17. Of course two weeks before I move away to uni I start actually 'seeing/talking' to this random closeted dude who is 100% my type. Then again he's closeted and delusional and I really struggle with intimacy that is devoid of emotional connection.

    *heavy sigh*. Being gay can be cripplingly lonely sometimes. But we move.
    Espeon likes this.
  18. I'm just glad it happened now rather than back when I went on dates with him.

    Me back then would've just broken down because my mental health was horrible. But now I couldn't care less, he's a twat.
    baxterclan, Wishlight, K94 and 9 others like this.
  19. You know it’s past the point of no return when you’ve been unconnected on LinkedIn and unfriended on Co-Star.
    Wishlight, K94, LP and 10 others like this.
  20. I've been through your situation so many times and looking back at every case, none of it ever went anywhere. It was just always me making the effort and texting first/trying to make plans until they eventually block me or something. I've literally always made it clear that I can take 'no' for an answer and while it would suck for someone to lose interest or be dissapointed in meeting me, I'd rather just be blocked/told to fuck off instead of being led on by someone who doesn't have the decency to be honest with me.

    I guess the harsh reality is that if someone is interested in you they WILL text you first. They'll make the effort, you'll have good conversations, you'll be texting non stop and making plans and it will just feel 'right'. If you're messaging them first every few days and they're just responding to your questions and not actually texting you first ever or showing any enthusiasm then chances are they're already back on Grindr making plans with someone else.

    Right now I've been chatting to a guy for a week or so now and we're having decent banter and we're both initiating conversations and staying up all night texting....but I just found out last night he actually has no intentions of meeting anyone and just wants to chat. Quite annoying as I feel my time has been wasted yet again.
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