Relationships | Page 549 | The Popjustice Forum

Relationships

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Itty Bitty Piggy, May 1, 2016.

  1. "Mmhmm, mmhmmm. Now, looking over the last six months, we can see a steady plateau. Are you even trying? No pay rise for you."
     
  2. Zara Larsson found redundant.
     
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  3. My first ever date was with a J and he was an arse.
     
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  4. Sis?!!!!
     
  5. So last month I went on about 4 dates with this guy. Seemed lovely, but I wasn’t feeling it romantically or sexually. He asked me after Christmas over text if “everything was ok with us” and I was just honest and said I’ve really enjoyed getting to know him and I think he’s great but I don’t have romantic feelings towards him and that I’d like to be friends.

    This guy kind of flew off the handle after I said that. He said things like no wonder I’m alone, I’m a slut, accused me of sleeping with my ex (which is hilarious because had he listened to anything I said to him he’d know it didn’t work out with my ex because we literally did not have sex in our 3 year relationship), accused me of going on dates when I went to go see my girl friends over Christmas and said that I disgust him. I didn’t retaliate at all, I just assumed he got his feelings hurt and this was just his initial reaction. I’m not a reactionary person to things like that and those things were clearly said to try and get a rise out of me so I just told him I’m not engaging in any of this, like I said it would be a shame if we can’t have any form of relationship but I get it if you don’t want to.

    A few days following that he had been checking if I’m online on dating apps, said I gross him out, on New Years I posted a selfie on Instagram and commented that I basically look disgusting, and sent me harassing messages all through the night on New Years. When I woke up the next morning he sent me a message “so how are we going to fix this?”. At this point I’d had enough. I said something along the lines of “look, I’ve said I didn’t want to romantically date anymore and explained why, said I’d like to be friends but since then you’ve made me feel like I have to give an explanation as to why I see my friends, you say I disgust you and have been very rude to me. So I don’t know what there is to fix. We weren’t ever in a relationship and you don’t own me. so as far as I’m concerned I don’t want any form of relationship with you based on how you’ve treated me.”

    I haven’t said anything else to him since but he’s still be sending me harassing messages with rude comments and checking I’m online. It was my birthday yesterday and he whatsapped saying “against my better judgement, don’t want to say it, happy birthday.” obviously I didn’t respond. I had lovely meal with my friend for my birthday and he’s harassing me replying to all my stories from being out. Woken up to messages from him sent at 4AM, so I’ve just blocked him on everything because I’ve had enough. I forgot to block him on WhatsApp and literally within 5 minutes of blocking him on Instagram and Facebook he messaged to say I’m pathetic.

    I’ve never experienced anything like it. I just assumed he was still annoyed that I didn’t like him back in the way he perhaps liked me, but to continuously harass me with messages after I made it clear I want nothing to do with him has blown my mind. I try my best to be an understanding person and to understand why he reacted so badly and all I can think of is perhaps I should have said that didn’t want to date anymore in person. I never made any commitments to him and didn’t say I love you, we just went on a few dates. I thought the whole point of going on dates is to find out if you’re compatible or not, am I wrong? I just can’t understand the reaction he’s had.

    I’ve not let his comments get to me and I haven’t retaliated in any way. I’m not even sure why I’m bothering to post this but I guess I just wanted to vent. I don’t need this kind of negative energy in my life.
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2020
  6. There's so many guys that do this, and think it's acceptable. Like, I know rejection hurts and you feel a million things but... feel them. Do not express them. And many feel that this is a sign of true love, 'it ain't love unless we're fighting', 'it's just jealousy cause I want you' and other BS.
     
  7. Well you for sure dodged a bullet there, that's all that he proved for you.
     
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  8. He sounds unhinged, and as mentioned above you completely dodged a bullet there. Sounds like you couldn’t have been any clearer or nicer in how you handled it but sadly some people just don’t take rejection well. You were right to block, so just ignore and carry on with your own life.
     
  9. He sounds genuinely deranged. That kind of behaviour is never acceptable, but to do it after four dates? I suppose at least he showed his ass straight away, because even being friends with someone like that would be toxic.
     
  10. 2014

    2014 Staff Member

    Wow I - hope you're ok @Jesus Jugs, you don't deserve any of that.
     
  11. It's very clear that this guy has a truck full of emotional baggage that he needs to sort out for himself and is projecting all of his insecurities and vulnerability onto you through pure anger and rage.

    I'm happy to hear that you're being responsible and not letting it get to you because I can't imagine having to be hounded and harassed like that - hopefully he will feel everything out and realise he needs to back off, give himself a chance to breath and finally cut himself out of the picture.
     
  12. That’s so much time and energy.

    You did a good job and don’t owe him anything.
     
  13. @Jesus Jugs I'm very happy you found out he was like this after just four dates rather than after you've moved in with him/got serious/engaged/whatever, which is when a lot of people find out they've been going out with someone who's emotionally manipulative or a control freak.

    Block him but be sure if he gets in contact again somehow that you tell him, in no uncertain terms, that you'll be going to the police if he continues to harass you. Make sure you keep all the chats you've had.
     
  14. What I'd add is make sure to document the sort of messages he's sending. Screenshots it and keep it in one place so if you do go to the police the documents are there and ready to go.
     
    Sam, stuaw, Holly Something and 5 others like this.
  15. Wow thanks for all the comments on this. I am ok, I think this morning I was pretty wound up by it all as I literally haven’t replied to a single message since new year and he just would not stop. One of the Instagram messages from early this morning did say “you know what if you don’t reply to me...” and that just kind of triggered me to block as I didn’t care to find out what he was going to say after that ellipsis after being wound up from me not replying or whatever. I have got pictures of the chats, but I would hope that the blocking was enough to get the message out that I don’t want anything to do from him, nor do I want to hear from him.
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2020
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  16. I don't understand what the hell is wrong with people. The entitlement is astounding.
     
  17. Me, a Scorpio J, catching up on the J slander of the past few pages

    [​IMG]
     
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  18. 2020 I start screaming
     
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  19. That was legit my ex, a J with all the worst qualities of a Scorpio.
     
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