Hey sweets.
Let me introduce you to my Moms:
Luann: Arguably the heart of the franchise, Luann spent the first four seasons of the show as the "uppity" countess, lecturing the girls on manners and mostly focusing on what is or isn't appropriate social behavior. After sleeping with pirates, two divorces, falling in bushes, getting arrested, threatening a police officer's life, getting songs on iTunes under the name Countess Luann, and having a couple of stints of rehab, Luann has emerged as our sympathetic heroine. We have seen her at her highest and lowest moments, and she remains resilient and has finally found a sense of humor about the madness in her life.
Highlights: "Even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes," Sneaking a naked man into the room across from Heather and Carole, singing a horrific version of "Happy Birthday" to try and kill Bethenny.
Ramona: She's a maven, you know?? As our conservative, Christian mom, she spent her early years in the show pretending to be demure but being unable to stop every single thought she had from leaving her mouth. She shares her opinion pretty much constantly. Her businesses are always pretend. And she always has a glass of pinot in hand. Since her divorce from Mario, she actually seems to have mellowed out and is much less interested in stirring up drama as she is being the absolute center of attention all of the time.
Highlights: "WOW BETHENNY, WOW." "Turtle....time." "YOU'RE LIKE A TUTU. YOU'RE BOOF-BOO. YOU'RE A TUTU-BOOF-BOO.
Sonja: Sonja has raised millions for the LGBT. So let's respect our iconic queen. She started in the show as a dignified woman of the upper-crust, always wearing stunning fashions and giving us a modern-day Mae West shtick. Since then, she has gradually fallen apart at the seams, and it's been kind of amazing to watch. From her forgetting to put pants on her Marie Antoinette costume, to her tooth falling out at a club, to telling us that she parties with John-John Kennedy and Madonna ALL OF THE TIME, she is now more "crazy bag lady" with three dollars on her plastic-covered bed than dignified sex-kitten.
Highlights: Anytime her and Ramona interact together in any capacity.
Bethenny: Bethenny began as the #RelatableGirl, who was often the "Greek chorus" of the show during confessionals. She left the show for her own spin-off, following the glorious Season 3. Her absence on Season 4, however, left the rest of the cast some room to breathe and grow. She is, inarguably, the biggest success of the franchise, so it was inevitable that she would return after a failing talk show and a spin-off that was often very uncomfortable to watch. Now? She's the #AnxietyGirl, because she gives me anxiety every time she's on screen. She lately seems to have a massive chip on her shoulder and an incredible amount of resentment. She longs to be important, and while her relief and charity efforts are notable, she can't seem to help herself from trying to destroy any human being that she comes in contact with. And hey, don't forget to buy our new SkinnyGirl line of snacks, jeans, colonics, perfumes, vehicles, etc.!
Highlights: "GO TO SLEEP GOTOSLEEP!!!!" Calling Luann a 'dumb drag queen,' "MENTION IT!! MENTION IT ALLLL!!!"
Dorinda: Drunk.
Highlights: Drunk.
Tinsley: She brings it the least of all of my moms. But hey, she's still one of my moms, and last season she cried over her frozen eggs and went wedding dress shopping without any possibility of a wedding taking place at any point in the near future. Also, her mom is kind of an icon. She's likeable enough but her personality is always eclipsed by the rest of this incredible cast. I'm hoping she brings us more mess with season 11.
Highlights: "Longer than your MARRIAGE." "SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND SHUT YOUR LEGS!!!"
Jill Zarin: I used her full name because she is completely iconic. After being Bethenny's BFF and forming a hilarious alliance against Kelly K.B. in the season 2 reunion, Jill allegedly orchestrated a fight with Bethenny to get herself more fame and more screen time, once she heard that Bravo was testing Bethenny for her own spin-off show. She made a pact with the other girls to not film with Bethenny for season 3. She doubled-down on how she was DONE with Bethenny for filming of the show. However, once Bethenny was pregnant, engaged, and her father died, Jill appeared to realize Bethenny was going to be the sympathetic character in season 3. She attempted to turn the tide on their friendship but it was too late: Bethenny (and Bravo) soured on Jill, as did many fans. For season 4, you could tell Jill tried to pull back and be less abrasive. The damage was already done. Her story is that she sent an e-mail quitting the show after taking a sleeping pill, but it's pretty apparent that Andy Cohen was done with her, based on the season 4 reunion. She has since been making appearances on the show, and she will be back in season 11 in some capacity. She is amazing.
Highlights: Showing up to St. Barts as a "surprise," all of her Coco Montrese-esque, shady confessionals.
And introducing, Barbara: This is the woman who went off-camera (but not off-mic) to tell Carole about Tom cheating on Luann. She then tried to sue Bravo. Then she withdrew the lawsuit. Now she's on the show?? I can't WAIT to see how this turns out...
So 10 seasons of incredible television, and now we prepare for season 11:
Interested in the show? Start with the season 3. And that's all you need to know.
Let me introduce you to my Moms:
Luann: Arguably the heart of the franchise, Luann spent the first four seasons of the show as the "uppity" countess, lecturing the girls on manners and mostly focusing on what is or isn't appropriate social behavior. After sleeping with pirates, two divorces, falling in bushes, getting arrested, threatening a police officer's life, getting songs on iTunes under the name Countess Luann, and having a couple of stints of rehab, Luann has emerged as our sympathetic heroine. We have seen her at her highest and lowest moments, and she remains resilient and has finally found a sense of humor about the madness in her life.
Highlights: "Even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes," Sneaking a naked man into the room across from Heather and Carole, singing a horrific version of "Happy Birthday" to try and kill Bethenny.
Ramona: She's a maven, you know?? As our conservative, Christian mom, she spent her early years in the show pretending to be demure but being unable to stop every single thought she had from leaving her mouth. She shares her opinion pretty much constantly. Her businesses are always pretend. And she always has a glass of pinot in hand. Since her divorce from Mario, she actually seems to have mellowed out and is much less interested in stirring up drama as she is being the absolute center of attention all of the time.
Highlights: "WOW BETHENNY, WOW." "Turtle....time." "YOU'RE LIKE A TUTU. YOU'RE BOOF-BOO. YOU'RE A TUTU-BOOF-BOO.
Sonja: Sonja has raised millions for the LGBT. So let's respect our iconic queen. She started in the show as a dignified woman of the upper-crust, always wearing stunning fashions and giving us a modern-day Mae West shtick. Since then, she has gradually fallen apart at the seams, and it's been kind of amazing to watch. From her forgetting to put pants on her Marie Antoinette costume, to her tooth falling out at a club, to telling us that she parties with John-John Kennedy and Madonna ALL OF THE TIME, she is now more "crazy bag lady" with three dollars on her plastic-covered bed than dignified sex-kitten.
Highlights: Anytime her and Ramona interact together in any capacity.
Bethenny: Bethenny began as the #RelatableGirl, who was often the "Greek chorus" of the show during confessionals. She left the show for her own spin-off, following the glorious Season 3. Her absence on Season 4, however, left the rest of the cast some room to breathe and grow. She is, inarguably, the biggest success of the franchise, so it was inevitable that she would return after a failing talk show and a spin-off that was often very uncomfortable to watch. Now? She's the #AnxietyGirl, because she gives me anxiety every time she's on screen. She lately seems to have a massive chip on her shoulder and an incredible amount of resentment. She longs to be important, and while her relief and charity efforts are notable, she can't seem to help herself from trying to destroy any human being that she comes in contact with. And hey, don't forget to buy our new SkinnyGirl line of snacks, jeans, colonics, perfumes, vehicles, etc.!
Highlights: "GO TO SLEEP GOTOSLEEP!!!!" Calling Luann a 'dumb drag queen,' "MENTION IT!! MENTION IT ALLLL!!!"
Dorinda: Drunk.
Highlights: Drunk.
Tinsley: She brings it the least of all of my moms. But hey, she's still one of my moms, and last season she cried over her frozen eggs and went wedding dress shopping without any possibility of a wedding taking place at any point in the near future. Also, her mom is kind of an icon. She's likeable enough but her personality is always eclipsed by the rest of this incredible cast. I'm hoping she brings us more mess with season 11.
Highlights: "Longer than your MARRIAGE." "SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND SHUT YOUR LEGS!!!"
Jill Zarin: I used her full name because she is completely iconic. After being Bethenny's BFF and forming a hilarious alliance against Kelly K.B. in the season 2 reunion, Jill allegedly orchestrated a fight with Bethenny to get herself more fame and more screen time, once she heard that Bravo was testing Bethenny for her own spin-off show. She made a pact with the other girls to not film with Bethenny for season 3. She doubled-down on how she was DONE with Bethenny for filming of the show. However, once Bethenny was pregnant, engaged, and her father died, Jill appeared to realize Bethenny was going to be the sympathetic character in season 3. She attempted to turn the tide on their friendship but it was too late: Bethenny (and Bravo) soured on Jill, as did many fans. For season 4, you could tell Jill tried to pull back and be less abrasive. The damage was already done. Her story is that she sent an e-mail quitting the show after taking a sleeping pill, but it's pretty apparent that Andy Cohen was done with her, based on the season 4 reunion. She has since been making appearances on the show, and she will be back in season 11 in some capacity. She is amazing.
Highlights: Showing up to St. Barts as a "surprise," all of her Coco Montrese-esque, shady confessionals.
And introducing, Barbara: This is the woman who went off-camera (but not off-mic) to tell Carole about Tom cheating on Luann. She then tried to sue Bravo. Then she withdrew the lawsuit. Now she's on the show?? I can't WAIT to see how this turns out...
So 10 seasons of incredible television, and now we prepare for season 11:
Interested in the show? Start with the season 3. And that's all you need to know.
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