Songs and rhymes etc from your childhood that still amuse you to this day.

  • Thread starter My Blake Incarcerated
  • Start date
M

My Blake Incarcerated

I love!

What's the time?
Ten to nine!
Hang your knickers
On the line
When they're dry
Bring them in
Put them in the biscuit tin
Eat a biscuit
Eat a cake
Eat your knickers by mistake.

YAY.
 
D

deusexmachina

These are three separate rhymes but we always used to say them together...

Mummy and Daddy
There's something in my nappy
It's big and brown
I can't sit down

I was climbing up a tree
And it trickled down my knee
Diarrhoea! Diarrhoea!

I made a cup of tea
And I mixed it with my wee
It's all gone wrong
It's far too strong

Heeee!
 
M

My Blake Incarcerated

There once was a man from China
He wasn't a very good climber
He slipped on a rock and broke his cock
And now he's got a vagina.

:(
 
M

My Blake Incarcerated

Strawberry said:
I was climbing up a tree
And it trickled down my knee
Diarrhoea! Diarrhoea!
Click to expand...

Amazing. We had like hundreds of these!

It comes out your bum like Pedigree Chum
Diarrhoea! Diarrhoea!
 
D

deusexmachina

My Mum wasn't in
So I did it in the bin
Diarrhoea! Diarrhoea!
 
M

My Blake Incarcerated

Heinz beans
They're good for your heart
The more you eat
The more you fart
The more you fart
The better you feel
So let's have beans
For every meal.
 
M

My Blake Incarcerated

On an unrelated note, our Geography books were full of graffiti from cover to cover. This one time I was reading this text book and someone had written 'turn to page 20' in the corner, so I did. Then they told me to turn to page 47 or whatever, and there was FAT BITCH in the corner. I was well offended.
 
poploz

poploz

My Blake Incarcerated said:
On an unrelated note, our Geography books were full of graffiti from cover to cover. This one time I was reading this text book and someone had written 'turn to page 20' in the corner, so I did. Then they told me to turn to page 47 or whatever, and there was FAT BITCH in the corner. I was well offended.
Click to expand...

We had that in a few science books, except they were all 'turn to', so you spent the whole lesson going from page to page.
 
M

mattsy666

i remembered this from primary school a few weeks back (memory, not reality obv) and was amazed at the token racism of it ... but i still pissed myself laughing:

chinky, chonky chinaman sitting in the grass
along came a bumblebee and stung him on the ...

and no i don't feel ashamed ... i respected my elders when this was invented ... can anyone say the same now?
 
lisaj

lisaj

We said

It shoots from your bum like a bullet from a gun
Diarrhoea! Diarrhoea!

There's an old tape recording of me when I was about six saying

In 1966, the Queen pulled down her knicks
She licked her bum and said yum yum in 1966

Poetry.
 
D

DiscoWenchy83

I always remember singing the , "Hitler has only got one ball" song.

However, the only I can remember at the minute:

"What would you do
If you needed a poo
In an english country garden
Pull down your pants
And suffocate the ants
In an english country garden"

"What would you do
If you needed a wee (?!)
In an english country garden
Pull down your pants
And water all the plants
In an english country garden"

You get the jist.

I also liked the rhymes you used to decide who was doing what in games in the playground:

"Ip dip
dog shit
fucking bastard
silly git
O U T spells out"

Well, yes. Quite.
 
S

SuperCracko

Oh yeah, we had a weird one for choosing who was "It". It was like:

Mickey Mouse
In his house
Pulling down his trousers
What colour were his pants?

*Choose colour e.g. red*

R, E, D and you are not IT.

etc.

We also played a game called "Eggs, Bacon, Chips or Cheese" which involved the song:

Eggs, bacon, chips or cheese?
Which would you rather please?
Bubblegum
Chewing gum
Around the world in 80 Days (although sometimes replaced with "Stick it up your granny's bum" for hilarity)

Then some complicated game ensued.
 
M

MilkyBarKid

Here are a few of my faves:

Lets all go to Tesco
Where (insert name) buys all their best clothes

and

It comes out your bum
Like Pedigree Chum
Diarrhoea! Diarrhoea!

Milky x
 
lisaj

lisaj

And I just remembered this one to the tune of Seasons In The Sun

We had joy we had fun
Flicking bogies at the sun
But the sun was too hot
And the bogies turned to snot
 
Tribal Spaceman

Tribal Spaceman

Oh, OK.
Auntie Mary had a canary
Up the leg of her drawers
While she was sleeping
We were peeping
Up the leg of her drawers

Auntie Mary had a canary
Up the leg of her drawers
May auntie farted
It departed
Down the leg of her drawers

oh dear
 
S

SuperCracko

The girls in France do the hula-hula dance
And the dance they do is enough to tie a shoe
And the shoe they tie is enough to tell a lie
And the lie they tell is enough to ring a bell
And the bell they ring goes ding a ling a ling!

Oh and we always sang this one:

We are the *name of school* girls
We wear our hair in curls
We wear our dungarees/Levi jeans
Upon our sexy knees
We don't smoke or drink
That's what our parents think
We don't play with toys
We just kiss the boys
...

There was something about getting pregnant invloving the line "My father hit the roof, it was a baby poof". Lovely.

Oh and one more:

Oooh, Ah, I lost my bra
And I lost my knickers in my boyfriend's car

This was all in primary school!! Haha.
 
M

MilkyBarKid

This needs to be sung to the tune of Ace of Base's "The Sign"

I saw your mum,
She opened up her legs,
I gave her some.
She was outstanding,
I fucked her on the landing.
I saw your mum,
She opened up her legs,
I saw the scum.

Milky x
 
D

Daneeeboy

MilkyBarKid said:
This needs to be sung to the tune of Ace of Base's "The Sign"

I saw your mum,
She opened up her legs,
I gave her some.
She was outstanding,
I fucked her on the landing.
I saw your mum,
She opened up her legs,
I saw the scum.

Milky x
Click to expand...

That's not even vaguely funny.
 
D

DiscoWenchy83

MilkyBarKid said:
This needs to be sung to the tune of Ace of Base's "The Sign"

I saw your mum,
She opened up her legs,
I gave her some.
She was outstanding,
I fucked her on the landing.
I saw your mum,
She opened up her legs,
I saw the scum.

Milky x
Click to expand...

Oh dear god. That is brilliant.

I do remember when the whole R Kelly/children/Ignition drama was going on, and a few people at Uni came up with altered lyrics (I can only remember one bit at the moment):

"I've got my hand up your bum/while I'm fisting your Mum"

I can't listen to Ignition now.
 
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