Our long, strange tour of early 90's novelty rap continues. And you don't get much more novelty than this one!
But to be honest, this going at this point is a little wiggedy-wiggedy-wiggedy-wack.
71. Jump - Kris Kross
Average: 5.563
Highest score: 3 x 10 (
@Sprockrooster ,
@br0dy ,
@Petty Mayonnaise )
Lowest score: 4 x 0 (
@Spiral ,
@Ray ,
@phoenix123 ,
@Filippa )
Weeks at #1: 8 consecutive Hot 100
Year-End Hot 100: #3 (1992)
OK, seriously, America... how the actual FUCK did you let this happen? What, you decided that the novelty pop-rap hits you were having weren't childish enough, so you decided to have actual children rapping occupy the #1 spot for EIGHT FECKIN' WEEKS? The backwards-clothes-wearing kids in question, Chris "Mac Daddy" Kelly and Chris "Daddy Mac" Smith, got some help from their very own Svengali - a then 19-year-old Jermaine Dupri, who got them signed when he saw them rapping at a mall, and would go on to become a huge name in hip-hop and R&B production over the rest of the 90's and 2000's. Yep, betcha didn't know that Kris Kross was his first substantial mainstream hit! But, come on, general public - all the amazing hip-hop coming out at this time, and the stuff you put on top of the charts is the twelve-year-olds calling themselves "mack daddies" (side note: is anyone else kind of disturbed by the kids calling themselves, basically, pimps)?! It's... it's...
...it's actually not bad?
Well, that's all my credibility gone in a flash.
But you know what? For a kid's song, the beat actually kinda slaps. The drums have a good amount of punch and weight, the sharp piano chords (sampled from the Jackson 5's "I Want You Back") provide a pretty solid musical hook in the background, and with your standard-issue G-funk sine wave synth layered over the chorus, this beat genuinely does go pretty hard, an only slightly smoothed-down version of circa-1992 rap production for the kids. There isn't too much love lost between me and Jermaine Dupri, but I will admit, he can come with some nice beats from time to time, and this is one of them. But nobody really cares about the beat, what about the two little kids rapping? Honestly, Mac Daddy and Daddy Mac could rap circles around most of the adult rappers we've encountered in the rate thus far, which is a bit sad to say. Sure, they're not going to give Rakim a run for his money or anything, but they ride the beat well and have decent flows on them, even if the rhymes and lyrics are basic stuff, and they come through with a hook that you'd have to have nerves of steel not to let get into your head. But then you have to confront the issue of them being so young. Let me put it this way... a surprisingly hard beat like "Jump", or any kind of hip-hop beat really, does not lend itself to being rapped over by twelve-year-olds. Listening to them bragging about how badass and cool they are is pretty absurd, and y'know, when you're a little kid who's being Svengali'd into novelty stardom, taking shots at "R&B, rap and bullcrap" and trying to emphasize how real you are is probably not the best course of action... not to mention, bragging about them wearing their clothes backwards (seriously, what was with that?). But it's only a minor ding on what actually holds up as a surprisingly well-constructed bit of disposable pop-rap. Like “Baby Got Back”, “Jump” still works as a somewhat amusing novelty – one that I had to knock a little bit off my initial 7 for, because the kids' attitudes started to bug me a bit, but seeing as it actually kind of works as a real song and not just a gag, I can actually kinda bop to it non-ironically, a bit. Bless 'em, the lovable scamps.
japanbonustrack (3) - The chart's original sin.
(AND HE SHALL SMITE THE WICKED AND PLUNGE THEM INTO THE FIERY PIT!)
Mina (3) - Did this come off of KidzBops or whatever that's called?! I am so confused.
(Do not invoke the name of Satan in this sacred place!)
Filippa (0) - Not my song. I don’t like the genre and that children are singing the song makes it worse.
Ray (0) - Please stop this.
Empty Shoebox (1) - Who let children in here? Get them out.
(Have you met my friend Willy Wonka?)
mung_bean (3) - How old are these children?
(12.) I like the sample but thats it I’m afraid.
(Looking at Wikipedia... lot of samples going on in this song, like really a lot. Paul's Boutique hew?)
Hudweiser (3) - I knew this really posh girl who was obsessed with Kris Kross. She was also evil.
(Ah, we've all been there. A lot of songs my shitty ex-girlfriend liked are dead to me forever...)
Rooneyboy (3.5) - Annoying.
WowWowWowWow (3) - Like, good for them for making a career out of wearing your pants backwards, but the music needs to be of decent quality or else you're in the scrap heap ASAP.
(Come on, they were on the scrap heap fast enough as it was, don't rub salt in the wound!)
iheartpoptarts (9) - I just put on a pair of jeans backwards to see how it would turn out. Surprisingly better than I thought!
(Now go out of the house wearing them. Go on, you know you want to.)
Sprockrooster (10) - No idea, this was so old actually.
(It's a classic now!)
DJHazey (9) - I'm sorry, but this is mega bop and will be ingrained in pop culture forever.
(See, agreement!)
berserkboi (7.5) - Quite fun but time has not been overly kind (and by that I mean how dated it sounded even by the late 90s… Had a bit of fun with it in the day though so some respect with the points..
(Ahh, one of those! If only I'd been able to bop to this on the playground back in the day... probably would have had to have been about 10 years older.)
londonrain (7) - I loved this when it came out and it’s still a banger. House of Pain WHO?
(They're coming to get ya, they're coming to get ya. Spitting out lyrics, homie they'll wet ya.)
ohnoitsnathan (6) - Not much of a tune in there, really, but you can't deny it was a moment.
(A moment of what? We just don't know...)
RIP Chris "Mac Daddy" Kelly. There's a tribute painting that your old bandmate made for you. Quite nice, isn't it?
