Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Ironheade, Nov 6, 2017.
Everything comes to an end...
Oh wait, I've picked a different song that just happens to have the same title.
Come on, as much as we'd like it, we know it's not happening.
It will at some point.
Yes, but looking back at my scores, I've definitely given it at least two points too many, so that's raised its average by 0.045.
Sorry about that everyone.
I don't think I Love Your Smile has been mentioned once; did we all forget it was still there? I don't see it making the top 20 considering what else is left.
More opinions like this and you will be a shoebox buried in the middle of a forest. A very dark forest.
There's only five songs left here that I've scored higher than it, but I'm imagining the Carey fans won't like it.
"Hero" has to sod off five weeks ago and "Black Velvet" can join it.
I was just thinking how bizarre it is that some of these songs are still left.
I Love Your Smile
Saved The Best For Last
Stay (I MIssed You)
All nice enough but much, much better have struggled to get this far already and much much worse are still stinking the place up Ace Of Base.
(Also, I’m dying at the idea that poor Alannah was ever a Big Pop Girl.)
Today... we say farewell to an artist who clung on tenaciously... but all must fall before my scythe in the end.
I know some people who won't like this elimination. But that's OK, because...
30. Opposites Attract - Paula Abdul and the Wild Pair
Highest score: 9 x 10 (@Ray , @Empty Promises , @GimmeWork , @soratami , @Remorque , @br0dy , @Robsolete , @Petty Mayonnaise , @Jeffo )
Lowest score: 3 x 4 (@DJHazey , @playboy69 , @iheartpoptarts )
Weeks at #1: 3 consecutive Hot 100, 4 consecutive airplay
Year-End Hot 100: #14 (1990)
By the time that “Opposites Attract” came out as a single, we were on to single number six (three of which had gone to the top of the charts) from Paula Abdul's debut album Forever Your Girl. Surely, her usual fluffy dance-pop schtick has to be wearing a little thin at this point. So, what can we do to switch things up for Paula? And possibly court the massive audience of furries that just has to be out there? Well... how about having her duet with a cartoon cat? Yeah, sounds great! And of course it was a license to print money and it went straight to number one, because sometimes, the charts just get really weird. (And no, despite what you may have heard from Paula herself – it made for a better story, apparently – MC Skat Kat's rap was not done by 40-Year-Old Virgin supporting player Romany Malco. It was actually a guy called Derrick Stevens. Good pub quiz question fodder, there.)
The fact of Paula duetting with a lecherous animated feline was always going to be more interesting than the actual song, to be fair. “Opposites Attract” is nothing but more edgeless late 80's dance-pop – that sounds notably bare, in fact. The drums sound like someone hitting a plastic box, and at times, the beat is almost unadorned except for the bassline (which is quite good, but really sounds like a stock patch on a keyboard, not an actual instrument). When something else does come in, it's usually a few cheap-sounding orchestra hits, or the brief stabs of funk guitar that were de rigueur in every single freestyle hit. But you know what? Maybe it's because it's early in the list and the boredom hadn't set in yet, but I don't completely hate the sound here. It's cheaply made, certainly, but it has a certain rinky-dink charm and dovetails well with the half-drawn look of the video, though that may just be a coincidence. But then we get to the element that's brought down both of Paula's previous songs in this rate. Hate to break it to you, Paula... you're getting pretty comprehensively outsung by the cartoon character here. That's kind of embarrassing. (Actually, the guy voicing MC Skat Kat doesn't have a bad singing voice, even if his raps are about as clunky as you'd expect.) Well, to be fair, she puts a bit more peppiness and enthusiasm into it, and just about manages to carry the day as a result... it's a shame that what she has to carry is so silly. The premise makes less sense the more you think about it, and the lines aren't even that witty, just a series of basic reversals. So, in the end, blah. If it wasn't for the memorable visuals, I doubt anyone would have cared; “Opposites Attract” seems to me a song that was made to support a video, and not the other way round. It's a passable bit of dance-pop, but the premise is just way too goofy for me in every regard. (Yeah, yeah, I'm no fun.)
Ray (10) - I don’t see myself ever not loving this – it just sounds like joy. And obviously the video is and forever will be a classic. (Doesn't sound like a joy living with this bloke to me...)
br0dy (10) - Okay, so this guy is messy, loud, broke, steals the covers, smokes, parties all night and doesn't take anything seriously. This relationship sounds like a nightmare Paula! You need to leave him. Fantastic song though. (AND he keeps leaving hairballs in the shower!)
Filippa (6) - Not her best song but still good.
Rooneyboy (8) - Great but she’s done better.
Sprockrooster (5) - This only drives me to listen to 'Superstitious' instead. (To be fair, anything that causes someone to listen to "Superstition" is to be commended.)
iheartpoptarts (4) - Love her, but I wish she hadn’t gone so novelty with this one. (Hey, we all need novelty hits to lighten up the charts. I just wish they were funny occasionally...)
Spiral (9) - No matter where I turn, this song appears. I've seen it on Sabrina The Teenage Witch, Family Guy, and RuPaul's Drag Race. So I'm giving it a 9 because it's taken over my brain subliminally. (...I really have to start watching Drag Race sometime. If only to see what the hell the queens could possibly do to this.)
Hudweiser (7.5) - We had this on ‘Monster Hits 1990’ and think my sister may have had the 7”. The rap is edited out of the version of Spotify, which sucks as it was a fun addition. (It's a tough life being an animated kat.)
Empty Shoebox (10) - Love this song. Have done for a while. The rap section is rather unnecessary I think. I know it's there to drive home the 'opposites' theme, but like I said, I think it's unnecessary. If it didn't have that, I might give it an 11. ("Ice Cube who?" - MC Skat Kat)
londonrain (5) - This is so bonkers and so fun!
japanbonustrack (7) - Not something I would revisit. She looks fun. (Yeah, sure. It's all fun and games until she pulls out the fur suit.)
berserkboi (7.5) - Decent bop and shows off Paula’s amazing dancing very well…
Mina (5) - This video is like a retro acid trip. (Move over, Yellow Submarine!)
DJHazey (4) - I have better memories of liking this video than I do of the song itself.
GimmeWork (10) - Was this the one that had a cartoon cat in the video?!? I love it! (That's kind of the song's defining quality, yep.)
WowWowWowWow (8) - Paula encouraging those human / animated cat crossover antics! (She was ahead of her time, was Paula. I wonder if she had a LiveJournal back in the day...)
mung_bean (7) - Pretty good, though that video looks like it's a cereal advert.
ohnoitsnathan (8) - Let's face it - this was only really a huge hit because of the video. The song is decent, but earlier singles from the album were better. (This man tells the truth, straight up.)
Yes, this is an actual album that was actually sold. One of these days, I'm going to find a copy, listen to it, then develop a religion based around it.
I thought this would happen. Poor Paula.
I take it @Jeffo is having his
moment around now.
(I would include @Ray in my sympathies, but I’m still suspicious about some of his remaining scores.)
Sis, I watched Call Me by Your Name a couple of days ago -- I have no more tears left in me.
These last 2 eliminations...
Small correction here: Straight Up, Forever Your Girl, and Cold Hearted were each released and went to #1, then (It's Just) The Way That You Love Me was re-released in the US, going to #3 (in its original release, it went to #88 before the label pulled the plug on it because Straight Up was beginning to pick up steam on radio as an album track). Then Opposites Attract was released and went to #1.
Get that James fucking Corden outta here. A man whose "talents" are so thin they make the background of the Opposites Attract video look comprehensive in comparison.
It was kind of tough picking between my head (giving my 11 to Opposites Attract, which I knew would place the highest in this rate, to inch it even further) and my heart (giving The Promise of a New Day my 11, which I knew would go first).
Like, Opposites Attract (Single Version) bops but pales in comparison to the Elliot Wolff songs from that album (or even the other Oliver Leiber songs). Still, it has its charms, mostly in its go-for-broke attitude and the fact that Paula was old school in the sense that she considered herself an entertainer first and foremost. That's what fed most of her work -- the idea of entertaining the masses in the same way her idol Gene Kelly did (whose musical sequence dancing with Jerry Mouse of Tom and Jerry fame, by the way, inspired the Opposites Attract video).
She went top 30.
Separate names with a comma.