The Alicia Keys Rate: WINNER REVEALED | The Popjustice Forum

The Alicia Keys Rate: WINNER REVEALED

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Heaven on Earth, Dec 9, 2017.

  1. Once upon a time, in a hot-pink pop paradise far away, with ice cream skies, there was a rate started by @D.F.P. This rate was to be dedicated to the divine Alicia Keys, queen of the piano, queen of amazing songs, queen of everything. A recent immigrate to this pop paradise was @Heaven on Earth who, while not being the biggest Alicia Keys fan and honestly wouldn’t have come up with the idea to host this rate, adored quite a number of songs and, being the eager newbie and an avid music lover, wanted to participate to honor the Woman of the Hour. After a nerve-wracking, last-minute rating session, this divine person got his scores in. Like any other member of the Rating Guild, experienced or not, he prayed for the songs he loved to do well and trembled in anticipation of seeing which will stand tall above the rest.

    Finally, the day of the reckoning came and the trumpets prepared to blast. Much to the crowd’s surprise, only a weak note came out from all those trumpets. The Alicia Keys rate was in trouble as the music that had kept @D.F.P. functioning flatlined. To this day, no one is sure what has happened and sincerely pray for the wonderful host’s safe return. But before the mysterious disappearance, a note was left behind, detailing the first seven songs to be revealed. It was on the basis of this that that brave newcomer @Heaven on Earth decided to dedicate some of his time away from the upcoming Annie discography rate and host this. What could go wrong?

    It seems that there is a curse placed upon the hosts for this rate. Maybe due to the Queen’s fury that more people didn’t vote in this like she deserved, she placed a curse on this. After all, karma is karma. Or maybe part of the curse that affected @D.F.P. has somewhat leaked onto @Heaven on Earth. Well, whatever the karma may be, it should know that we’re dealing with someone who doesn’t give up easily. Even though he needs to get the scores and commentaries done like yesterday for @Ironheade's sure-to-be-iconic ’90s Billboard #1’s rate and @constantino's already insane Alt Pop Girls rate, he’ll fix his schedule around just to make sure “Karma” gets what it deserves. And, now, what do you say we make this a success?

  2. Eliminations by @londonrain:

    1. Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart 10.333
    2. Karma 9.667
    3. You Don't Know My Name 9.611
    4. Empire State of Mind (with Jay-Z) 9.500
    5. If I Ain't Got You 9.389
    6. Fallin' 9.056
    6. Un-Thinkable (I'm Ready) 9.056

    Eliminations by @Heaven on Earth:

    6. Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down 9.056
    9. A Woman's Worth 8.889
    10. Doesn't Mean Anything 8.833
    10. In Common 8.833

    Eliminations by @Sprockrooster:
    12. Girlfriend 8.8667
    13. Put It In A Love Song (featuring Beyoncé) 8.556
    13. Wait Til You See My Smile 8.556
    15. Like You'll Never See Me Again 8.500
    16. Diary (featuring Tony! Toni! Toné!) 8.222
    17. Heartburn 8.159
    18. Butterflyz 8.016
    19. When It's All Over 7.984
    20. Superwoman 7.944

    21. This Bed 7.873
    22. Juiciest (Mixtape Version) 7.841
    22. Rock Wit U 7.841
    24. Gangsta Lovin' (with Eve) 7.778
    25. Dragon Days 7.714
    26. If I Was Your Woman/Walk On By 7.698
    27. Tell You Something (Nana's Reprise) 7.667
    27. That's How Strong My Love Is 7.667
    29. How Come You Don't Call Me 7.611
    29. New Day 7.611

    31. Harlem's Nocturne 7.603
    32. Jane Doe 7.587
    33. Back to Life 7.556
    33. Go Ahead 7.556
    35. Troubles 7.523
    36. Brand New Me 7.500
    37. Holy War 7.477
    38. Dreaming 7.461
    39. Girl on Fire 7.444
    39. Lover Man 7.444
    39. No One 7.444
    39. Wreckless Love 7.444

    43. Place to Call My Own (AK Version) 7.400
    44. Love Is Blind 7.349
    45. Lovin' U 7.317

    46. Samsonite Man 7.301
    47. Sure Looks Good to Me 7.286
    48. Girl Can't Be Herself 7.254
    49. Distance and Time 7.238
    50. I Need You 7.206

    51. Piano & I 7.159
    51. Why Do I Feel So Sad 7.159
    53. How It Feels to Fly 7.127
    54. Slow Down 7.111
    54. Where Do We Go from Here 7.111
    56. Like the Sea 7.095
    57. Teenage Love Affair 7.056
    58. The Life 7.048
    59. Limitedless 7.016
    60. When You Really Love Someone 7.000

    61. Streets of New York (featuring Nas & Rakim) 6.968
    62. Blended Family (What You Do for Love) (featuring A$AP Rocky) 6.944
    63. Pawn It All 6.904
    63. Rear View Mirror 6.904
    65. Hallelujah 6.889
    66. The Gospel 6.857
    67. Speechless (featuring Eve) 6.794
    68. Love is My Disease 6.793
    69. 28 Thousand Days 6.778
    69. Through It All 6.778
    69. We Gotta Pray 6.778

    72. Wake Up 6.761
    73. My Boo (with Usher) 6.722
    74. Goodbye 6.699
    74. Mr. Man (featuring Jimmy Cozier) 6.699
    76. Tears Always Win 6.667

    77. Pray for Forgiveness 6.651
    78. Listen to Your Heart 6.650
    79. Stolen Moments 6.634
    80. Typewriter 6.634

    81. Caged Bird 6.619
    82. One Thing 6.603
    83. Where Do We Begin Now 6.587
    84. Fire We Make (featuring Maxwell) 6.556
    85. It's On Again (featuring Kendrick Lamar) 6.556
    86. So Simple (featuring Lellow) 6.556
    87. More Than We Know 6.523
    88. Work On It 6.523
    89. That's When I Knew 6.508
    90. We're Almost There 6.490

    91. Heaven's Door 6.349

    92. Feeling U, Feeling Me 6.286
    93. 101 6.286
    94. Never Felt This Way (Interlude) 6.254
    95. Better You, Better Me 6.222
    95. Lesson Learned (featuring John Mayer) 6.222
    97. I Won't (Crazy World) 6.190
    97. Nobody Not Really 6.190
    99. We Are Here 6.167
    100. Illusion of Bliss 6.143

    101. Saviour 6.095
    101. Doncha Know (Sky Is Blue) 6.079
    101. The Thing About Love 6.079
    104. As I Am (Intro) 6.063

    Eliminations by @Heaven on Earth:
    105. Unbreakable (Live) 6.056
    106. Powerful (with Jussie Smollett) 5.952
    106. That's What's Up 5.952
    108. Waiting for Your Love 5.778
    109. Not Even the King 5.746
    110. Every Little Bit Hurts 5.611
    111. Prelude to a Kiss 5.523

    Eliminations by @D.F.P.:

    112. Ghettoman (featuring muMs da Schemer) 5.643
    113. Another Way to Die (with Jack White) 5.563
    114. Kill Your Mama 5.500
    114. She Don't Really Care_1 Luv 5.500

    116. The Beginning (Interlude) 5.429
    117. De Novo Adagio (Intro) 5.357
    118. Don't Give Up (Africa) (with Bono) 4.750

    This list corrects a couple of errors in the thread, so ranks may not always match the ones in the individual reveals.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2018
    londonrain and Sprockrooster like this.
  3. Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2018
    londonrain and Sprockrooster like this.
  4. Let'sbring it on!
    londonrain likes this.
  5. Let's see...​

    111. Prelude to a Kiss
    AVERAGE: 5.523​

    In 1938, Duke Ellington wrote the torch song standard called “Prelude to a Kiss.” In 1992, Meg Ryan and Alec Baldwin teamed up to star in a movie adaptation of a successful Broadway play called Prelude to a Kiss. In 2007, Alicia Keys released a song called “Prelude to a Kiss” on her commercially successful album As I Am. In order from best to worst: 1) the Duke Ellington torch song; 2) the Alicia Keys song; 3) the movie. The last two are considerably far from the first and honestly could be switched depending on your disposition.

    To understand my issue with this song, one particular review in the Washington Post for As I Am highlights an overlying problem with Alicia Keys’ catalogue: “She’s an effective but generally unimaginative lyricist whose writings tends to be simple, weirdly impersonal and wholly average, with a few exceptions – not least her terrific singles ‘Fallin’’ and ‘You Don’t Know My Name.’” Now, don’t get me wrong, I so wouldn’t say this about her entire catalogue, but it’s so true about this song, one which she apparently wrote after a trip to Africa and seeing people live in poverty. Yeah, I wouldn’t have gathered that from this final product. Of course, the piano is great and her vocals are nice, but they’re average. Alicia has done better in both departments.

    Ultimately, this song is one of the weakest links of a really good album and I don’t think anyone will be too fussed about this one being out first in this revamped and remastered rate. Except maybe @Sprockrooster.
    londonrain and Sprockrooster like this.
  6. londonrain

    londonrain Staff Member

    I can live with that elimination. Thank you for resurrecting this, @Heaven on Earth!

    Could you please include the highest and lowest scorers?
  7. I don't have @D.F.P.'s scores or @HollyDunnSomething's or @A&E's, so it'd be incomplete.
    Sprockrooster likes this.
  8. I only did the singles so feel free to ignore mine.
  9. I was going to ignore the highest/lowest scores anyway. Sorry, @londonrain. I was just going to reveal the scores for those spectacular people who did the commentaries.

    I really wish @D.F.P. had sent @RainOnFire all the 411. I think I've bashed the poor person enough.
  10. londonrain

    londonrain Staff Member

    Ah. Then which scores are the averages and rankings based on?

    (And did nobody provide commentary for this song? Poor it.)
  11. The averages which @D.F.P. turned in to @RainOnFire.

    And a lot of songs didn't get commentaries. Poor them.
  12. londonrain

    londonrain Staff Member

    Oh, I see. Did we get any additional voters in the end, or are the averages still the same as they were when the rate was abandoned?
  13. @soratami is the new voter, sadly as you'll see the next elimination.
  14. [​IMG]
  15. Coming from the person who gave "Another Way to Die" a three.

    @soratami, why?

    110. Every Little Bit Hurts [Live]
    AVERAGE: 5.611

    The second single from her 2005 live album, Unplugged, “Every Little Bit Hurts” is a cover of Brenda Holloway’s 1963 hit single of the same name. And it didn’t deserve to go out until, like, at least twenty places down – and it certainly isn’t a zero, @soratami. While it’s certainly not as great as the other single from the album, “Unbreakable,” it’s still a rather enjoyable listen. It’s kind of obvious to see why she was attracted to the original to cover. My only issue with the song is actually that I want to feel some authentic passion from Alicia’s part, which is a shame because the blueprint is good and she is capable of scalping wigs. It’s just a bit reserved, in my opinion, though whatever magic the song contains opens itself up slowly with each listen.

    @Sprockrooster (7) writes, “This song has always seem to suffer a bit from the hattrick knockout on the album that is about to come after this song with ‘Streets of New York,’ ‘Wild Horses’ and ‘Diary.’ All those three are absolute killer performances. And ‘Wild Horses,’ a cover from the Rolling Stones which I stan a lot, is absolutely done brilliant. The more rocky version from the Stones can definitely need some soul from Alicia. From ‘Every Little Bit Hurts,’ I particularly love the outro. The gospel part is definitely strong.” Well, if you wanted to his thoughts on her cover of “Wild Horses,” you got it. I must admit that I haven’t heard the album aside from the two singles so I will definitely check it out. You’ve piqued my interest.
  16. Sorry (Not Sorry) I'm just generally not here for live songs, unless they're particularly outstanding.

    I only gave six 0s out of 118 songs though, and I think one or two at least were for songs that already left.
  17. Wow, this one hurts.

    109. Not Even the King
    AVERAGE: 5.714

    Really? You kick one of the best songs from Girl on Fire this early? I see how this is going to go. Well, your host barely respectfully disagrees with those who gave it a middling score. How can one listen to this wonderful mediation on the same old “money can’t buy happiness” trope and give it a low score? Just look at this verse:

    All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
    They came marching through
    They offered the world just to have what we got
    But I found the world in you
    I found the world in you

    Starting with such evocative imagery of great power, using well known phrases, the verse ultimately becomes a parable on happiness and greed. Alicia’s refusal to give up love and happiness for wealth is something that’s becoming a little too rare in an increasingly materialistic and technical world. Sometimes the greatest blessing in life is true human connection, and while this track may not as obviously great as some of her others, it expresses something I usually have difficulty expressing my need for into a distinct, visceral song. And it’s going out at #109? Really?

    And, yes, the verse I offered as an example is one of my favorites out of her catalogue. @londonrain (7) apparently disagrees with me, “The lyrics seem a bit clichéd for Alicia, but it’s a nice enough song.” Well, Emeli Sandé co-wrote the song, and maybe her contribution here wasn’t good enough for you people, but it works here. It’s more than just “a nice enough song.”

    The lyrics were so good, it was blessed with a video.
  18. londonrain

    londonrain Staff Member

    Eh, I can live without that one.

    It’s way better than most of Here, though. Can we recommence culling that a bit?
  19. Wow. Not even my points could save that one.
  20. Is this stopping again? Cursed redux?
    londonrain likes this.
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