The Ariana Grande Rate | Page 190 | The Popjustice Forum

The Ariana Grande Rate

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Laura Vanderbooben, Jun 6, 2016.

  1. 19

    Side to Side

    Average: 8.24
    Highest Score: 10 x 15 (@Sprockrooster, @AlmightyAloud, @constantino, @Hunterpoop, @TtT2, @A$AP Robbie, @Can't Speak French, @mattyjayy, @ohdenny, @Daniel!, @supersoon, @Jacques, @xOJakeXo, @velocity, @Laurence)
    Lowest Score: 5 x 2 (@HeartSwells, @WhenTheSunGoesDown)

    How funny that the lowest scores for this were 5s when it didn't even so much as make an overture to the top ten. Oh, averages, you crazy things you. You would think a song about getting dicked up, down and sideways would be a hit on this forum, and you would be correct. This might very well end up being the third single off Dangerous Woman; a video has been shot (although one exists for Everyday as well) and I recall iTunes reactions being positive in release week. Let's hope Into You gets the VMA slot though. The Swedes went reggae on this one: Max Martin and Ilya co-produce and share writing credits with Alex Kronlund, Savan, as well as Nicki and Ariana (I sort of love that she has a co-write on this). It took me a little bit to like this but that bass eventually got me. I wouldn't pick it as a single though, teebs.

    Commentary, as is par for the course, revolved mostly around dick bicycles.

    Look for AlmightyAloud to pop up stumbling through the background of CNN's 24-hour election coverage, probably in the early morning hours when he's still bowlegged. "Ariana and Nicki singing about getting wrecked so good that you can't walk straight? *passes out*" Right into the arms of sexercise, and his 6. "I’m hesitant to say Nicki can do better considering the year she’s had. As annoying as she is, this is so underwhelming for a Nicki/Ariana collab. I still bop in the right setting though." LA Hallucinations is also a bit cool. "A bit of a non-event. Not Nicki’s best but wrist icicle, ride dick bicycle remains iconic. Also, I just looked up wrist icicle’s definition and wow. We certainly don’t have a term for that in my language." For the innocents: it doesn't mean jewelry. that boy is a monster reiterates "wrist icicle, ride dick bicycle" and then goes [​IMG]. "Great rap, great chorus, great production," joe_alouder checks off. "Let's go ride a dick bicycle hennies." This is a family forum.

    THIS IS A FAMILY FOR- oh fuck it, here's digitalkaiser. "If Into You is chapter 1, this mega hit is chapters 2-5 in the bottom bible. I’m a meat and potatoes sort of gal. Nicki’s rap is perfect, the subject matter is perfect. (I mean, we can relate girl) I love the chilled out island vibe, with the hard cutting chorus. Mmmyes." Jersey knows it's a "little clunky" but ultimately doesn't care. "It doesn't make me want to pat my puss in the sand any less. DICK BICYCLE~" Forearm decor aside, lemonsqueezyy isn't digging the flow. "Ari and Nicki are outstanding together, but I’m taking points off for the basic lyrics." Beginner surprises us all with some filthiness appreciation. "I love how cartoonish the imagery of the chorus is. Poor Ari snatching that handicapped parking tag cause the D too bomb! Gives me 'when we're done, I don't wanna feel my legs' teas."

    I feel like violet's being shady, but she gave it a 9, so what do I know. "This kind of chemistry is what happens when you tell Ariana and Nicki they're indeed on the same song." munro slut-dropped, but sensibly. "I like the reggae-pop sound that Ariana has gone for here, also love the Nicki verse." Posh Spears is reminded of Madge's Unapologetic Bitch. "It’s basic but I also can't help but bop to it. 'Ride dick bicycle' forever!" Which is a perfect segue to RJF. Let's give him his own paragraph.

    "Sometimes, the dick is so bomb you're left feeling like you've been impaled on the battlements of some ancient city, left to rot in the roasting sun as a stark warning to their enemies. Sometimes, you put a song on your album about the dick being so bomb you're left feeling like you've been impaled on the battlements of some ancient city, left to rot in the roasting sun as a stark warning to their enemies. Sometimes, the song on your album about the dick being so bomb you're left feeling like you've been impaled on the battlements of some ancient city, left to rot in the roasting sun as a stark warning to their enemies is a bop. This is one of those times."

    I shed a tear. I did. Anyway, Euphoria gives off ho vibes, what did he think? "So sexy. Makes me wanna jump on a car & drop my buss. Summertime thot anthem." He then donates his wig to Sprockrooster for cremation. "What is this? Rihanna's weave?! Bury that Barbados queen with this fresh island sound. And what is this? Nicki Minaj?! Well let's bury Raining Men also, when we are at it." Oh good, sure, make DJHazey angry why don't you. "This song really makes you feel like you want to start swaying from side to side, in the verses especially. When I first heard this song, I already knew this was going to be one of my favorite albums of the year. When the synths get extra 'dirty' during the pre-chorus, it's quite the highlight as it transitions from this darker sounding moment to the upbeat explosion to come." Hehe. 'Upbeat explosion.'

    "I wish the production was more interesting," daydreams Slice of Life. "Otherwise, a perfectly serviceable bop that is bound to be a single." I guess Nicki doesn't come cheap does she. Queen of the Islands, ohnostalgia, pegs this as a "true modern day Romeo & Juliet." Andy French continues his slow reveal as a Britney stan with this deep-cut shout out: "Best anal bop since Over to You Now, teebs. Nicki Minaj's verse (and general presence on the track, if I'm honest) is disposable as hell though." Not when it was strangekin's signature for weeks. "The best bop about the good d ever created. Can't wait for Dick Bicycle to get added to the dictionary."

    "I don’t think I fully get what everyone else sees in this but it’s an interesting new sound for her at least," supposes Solenciennes. constantino is far too young for such filth and declined to- "Nicki is completely ON IT here and I love it. After the mess that was the Pink Print era (was she fucking kidding me with Anaconda??), this was a refreshing return to form for Onika. Ariana’s ‘AND BOOOYYYYY YOU GOT ME WALKIN’ SIDE-TO-SIDE’ is fucking incredible but it’s Nicki’s ‘dick bicycle’ refrain at the end that finishes. me. off. every. time." Oh. A$AP Robbie lists off, "The islands vibe, Nicki doing some good work, this is a walk in smash hit single." Can't Speak French was clapping too. "This is so cool. The way the chorus is done makes it sound a bit like Neon Indian, like chillwave type thing. This bounces along nicely and works well. Onika does her THANG well, queen of features."

    IMHO finds it "a tad disposable in the grand scheme of things but once it comes on, it's impossible to resist." Mr Blonde giggles, "I've been racking my brain for WEEKS trying to figure out what this song reminds me of, and it finally dawned on me that it's basically fellow Swedish brand synthpop reggae All That She Wants by Ace Of Base. There's that weird little sax bit, and that quiet synth underneath the second part of the chorus sounds like the flute-y bit in All That She Wants. Anyway... It's a solid bop and pretty comedic." It's definitely quotable, innit? Twitter Queen. Also, All That She Wants was produced by Denniz Pop, Max Martin's mentor and partner. What a loss that was. "Chill bop that has summer smash written all over it," supersoon notes, which makes it a bit of a shame we're almost into August but hey, there's always Australia. Right, ThisIsRogue? "Cruisy beach bop." Yeah that's right, I pay attention. "Yas, give us that reggae-infused JAHM we all need, queenz," grovels Remorque.

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    1. NOOOOOOOO at that cover
    2. NOOOOOOOO at you guys kicking out the good Dangerous Woman tracks!!
  3. And the ICONIC song artwork come back, and come back hard.
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2016
  4. Subwaykid

    Subwaykid Staff Member

    That cover noooooooooooo
  5. @RJF

    That poetry gorl.

    evilsin, RJF, Jonathan27 and 8 others like this.
  6. And yet

    you haven't


    the post

  7. Girl B-O-O bye when I just went back an retroactively gave you like 20 likes not an hour ago. TheDangerZone payola is in full swing.

    Can you blame me for getting swept up in the excitement and eleganza of a new elimination?
    Laura Vanderbooben likes this.
  8. Side to Side is a huge bop.
    A$AP Robbie likes this.
  9. [​IMG]
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Absolutely tragic. Y'all are gonna sabotage her best album right at the last leg, aren't y'all.
  10. Moonlight is so beautiful it should have made top 10.

    That cover for Side to Side has slain me though. Lil Kim, iz dat chu gorl?
    Rei Ayanami likes this.
  11. Moonlight >>> Side To Side

    ...but I love both considerably more than absolute shit like Problem! STOP SABOTAGING DANGEROUS WOMAN!
  12. This song is good but I need more dick
  13. Problem got four scores below a 6 so this retconning of it as some forum-wide object of hatred is just nawt going to work for me, but at least you put your money where your mouth is.
    evilsin, ohdenny, Jonathan27 and 10 others like this.
  15. Let me clarify. I don't hate Problem by any means. It's just the quality of the material that we're working with here. It's good, but it's a few steps lower than everything else that's left (and it should've gone about 10 eliminations ago).
  16. Subwaykid

    Subwaykid Staff Member

    Yeah agreed.
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2016
  17. I hope my 5.5 is the lowest, so I can rejoice, but then I realize that's probably not low enough of a Lowest Score to see it leave before the Top 10.....


    Euphoria likes this.
  18. My 2 will probably help our cause. Kiii.

    Respectfully yours,
    Euphoria x
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2016
  19. Subwaykid

    Subwaykid Staff Member

    Me trying to figure out where Problem falls if the lowest scores of Side to Side were two 5's and it ended with an 8.24 average and if Problem only has 4 scores below 6, including a 2 and a 5.5, but still ended with a higher average, factoring in my 8.6...
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