The Ashlee Simpson vs. Lindsay Lohan Rate - I Didn't Steal Your Boyfriend

pop3blow2

pop3blow2

I'm not gonna lie, when What Are You Waiting For puts a big smile on my face every time I hear it. Especially, when it leads us out of Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen into the credits.

They played it for a very short time on Radio Disney, for the brief uber-promo push Confessions (the album & the movie) were getting from Disney. Then the movie died as did much of the soundtrack on there, exceptt for the amazing title song.... which happily got played to death. Good times.
 
CasuallyCrazed

CasuallyCrazed

BANG
BANG
FUCK YOU UP

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Finally!





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Bat For a Heart
6.814
*Stand-alone 2013 Single*

Highest: 9 (@DJHazey, @Remorque, @RUNAWAY, @Sprockrooster, @unnameable)
Lowest: 1 (@CasuallyCrazed), 2 (@imaduck)​

unnameable - 9
Could have made an excellent comeback.

DJHazey - 9
Of course the "bang bang fuck you up" instantly had me begging for more, what am I deaf? Wish it went off a bit more so it could her very own "Bossy", but I'll still download it.

Sprockrooster - 9
Channeling Meat Loaf in the lyrics so a clear fave from the start.

pop3blow2 - 8.5
I like this song. This would’ve fit comfortably on Bitterweet World (better than a couple of other tracks… I’m a broken record in that regard. Sorry). I wish she’d given us a straight up electro-pop album at some point.

Music is Life - 8
This is a nice electro song wit some pop-rock influences. Kinda more of the same from her really. Still good though.

orbison - 7
This gets a 7 because I really wanted more music from her when this came out, but it's bad. It's Ashlee trying to sound cool, edgy, lanadelrey-ish, yet failing at every single one of those things. It's too forced.

spillet - 5
Sounded very basic/demo-like to my ears. I'm happy this never led to a full album in this vein.

Seventeen Days - 4.5
I’d say Ashley is going for the shock factor on this, but she’s never shied away from being “punk”. (i_have_to_laugh.jpg) I like the juxtaposition of the dance beat with the slow ballad piano on this, but not much else about it.

niccolo - 4
I'm scoring this high because I can sing along to it which means that it's lodged in my brain which means it's less forgettable than some other songs on this rate.

imaduck - 2
People sort of of go crazy for this and I've honestly never understood it at all. It's dull as dishwater.

CasuallyCrazed - 1
I absolutely hate this song. It's a ratty, clangy $2 demo where Ashlee sounds try-hard and tone-deaf -- the fact that its her one and only [solo] output since 2008 literally pains me.

​
 
DJHazey

DJHazey

he/him
Oh and the giggle about her being punk. As if when something like "Outta My Head" and a few of her other songs from that album and throughout her discography do the "spirit of punk music" better than many actual punk artists can do themselves.
 
CasuallyCrazed

CasuallyCrazed

The Autobiography slaughter just will not let up...



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Nothing New
6.832
(9th out of 16 from Autobiography)

Highest: 10 x 2 (@CasuallyCrazed, @pop3blow2)
Lowest: 4 x 3 (@orbison, @Seventeen Days, @unnameable)​

pop3blow2 - 10
I love this song. Possibly my second fave on the album. This song is catchy as hell & still gets stuck in my head sometimes… 14 years later. I suppose this song is a bit 'Alanis', if I'm looking for it's inspiration...but truthfully I'd rather listen to this than anything on Jagged Little Pill. Sorry, not sorry.

CasuallyCrazed - 10
What a chorus. The perfect belting anthem for her, I don't think she's ever sounded better.

DJHazey - 8
I remember this getting some play years ago. That "heeeey" bit is still solid gold though.

Music is Life - 8
Eh. The song is literally nothing new. (Yes I went there, don't hate me.)

niccolo - 8
Love this one. I like when Ashley gets a bit angry, and the guitars and production on this are great.

imaduck - 7
Should be a Kelly Clarkson Breakaway track. A big bop in need of a decent vocalist.

Sprockrooster - 6
Filler, but not bad.

Seventeen Days - 4
This has always been a track that I skip, honestly. Maybe it was just bad track placement? Either way, it’s just not one I can get into.

orbison - 4
The title is rather fitting.

unnameable - 4
Forgettable.

​
 
pop3blow2

pop3blow2

My goodness. I did not expect Autobiography to bleed out this badly before the top 50. I love Nothing New. It's probably my second or third fave on Auto.

That little opening guitar riff is fantastic & the chorus is pure DioGuardi gold (that's the part that I still get in my head to this day.) The 'save your breath' tag towards the end leading into opening riff again is one of my favorite moments on the entire album.
 
CasuallyCrazed

CasuallyCrazed

We're losing another 11.

And this next one hurts...

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My Innocence
6.868
(10th out of 12 from A Little More Personal)

Highest: 11 x 1 (@jmmc13), 10 x 3 (@CasuallyCrazed, @DJHazey, @imaduck)
Lowest: 2 (@playboy69), 4 x 4 (@Ana Raquel, @iheartpoptarts, @orbison, @Sprockrooster)
​
CasuallyCrazed - 10
Top tier Lindsay -- I come back to this song more than almost anything in her catalog. Her vocals are surprisingly lush on this, who knew Lindsay could pull off such ad-libbing and embellishment. Kara's lyrics are positively gut-wrenching -- My December wishes it had anything as heartbreaking as this song.​

DJHazey - 10
The fact that the words make me think she's singing about someone taking her virginity makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, but hey I love "White Houses" so here we are. Sonically, this works on just about every level for me so I can't not 10 it. That guitar/piano combo in the chorus makes it sound like the song is taking flight and that's what makes a signature power-ballad work.

imaduck - 10
I'm probably alone here stanning for Lindsay, but she really produced 2 incredibly good albums with some actual depth and growth on this second one, if she'd have really committed to music she could have been a really solid artist, this song for instance actually has some artistry behind it, I sort of wish that DioGuardi would have used Lohan as her solo project, because few artists sort of embody Kara's sound like Lindsay does, I'd say 90% of DioGuardi's other work sounds horribly dated but EVERYTHING she and Lindsay did together is still 100% fresh oh god am I still going.

Runaway - 9
God, this song is so good.

niccolo - 9
This is a real gem of a song. It’s sexy and heartbreaking at once. I like as a whole how she changes little things up in different choruses in most of her songs. This song’s “I ALWAYS COME ARA-AOOOUND” is what gets me tickled.

Music is Life - 9
This is really dark, and good, but I can't see myself using it that much. Love “The best of me stayed” though.

pop3blow2 - 8
A pretty rock ballad. Kara is great writing these kind of songs. Could’ve easily been sung by someone else & not been as good. Lindsay does a nice job with this.

spillet - 8
This could be a Nickelback track, let's face it. Good chorus though.

unnameable - 5
Sounds like a Kelly Clarkson cast-off.

Seventeen Days - 5
I’m getting a bit of Morcheeba vibes, mixed with some dollar store Evanescence. It could have sounded better if her voice wasn’t swallowed up in the mix.

iheartpoptarts - 4
Vaguely Silverchair-ish. Some legitimate rock fan will probably be horrified at that but oh well.

Sprockrooster - 4
This should have been a b-side and kept left off as it comes over a bit weaker compared to the other tracks.

orbison - 4
LiLo's strength isn't her slow-music voice.

​
 
Remorque

Remorque

He/Him
Okay, but My Innocence shouldn't be out yet. There's way too much Ashlee filler left, I'm afraid, so I'm hoping the next three cuts leave Speak and A Little More Personal alone.

Except y'all really should leave Autobiography alone for a good while.
 
CasuallyCrazed

CasuallyCrazed

And Lindsay loses another...

This time from Speak.



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Disconnected
6.934
(11th out of 12 from Speak)

Highest: 10 (@imaduck), 9 (@DJHazey, @playboy69)
Lowest: 3 (@Ana Raquel), 4 (@CasuallyCrazed, @niccolo)​

imaduck - 10
For that chorus alone this is a 10, eargasm, it's just 2004 personafied.

DJHazey - 9
There's something off-kilter about the way Lindsay navigates the verses but it just works for me while the chorus explodes, putting a nice bow on the whole package. Very Under My Skin-sounding which will of course always be a compliment from me.

Music is Life - 8
A slightly boring, but still pretty good mid-tempo.

Sprockrooster - 8
YAS, at that fantastic start for a chorus.

Seventeen Days - 7.25
Your quintessential “angry girl but make it bop” track. I miss 2004, remember when Fefe Dobson was still A Thing™?

spillet - 7
Daft lyrics aside, "quietly loud while I'm noisily silent..." the chorus here is solid and again, Linday's vocals remain strong throughout.

pop3blow2 - 7
This is decent. Not sure how this song needed 7 writers, but a fine album track. (One point per writer, here. Maybe 3 more writers would’ve given us a 10.)

unnameable - 6
I’m not sure if the random juxtaposition of opposites in the lyrics is inspired or lazy.

iheartpoptarts - 5
The opposite thing gets old fast.

orbison - 4.5
Filler, filler, filler.

CasuallyCrazed - 4
The verses are beautifully melodic & understated, but she loses me with the phoned-in & shouty chorus. Definitely a weak link on Speak.

niccolo - 4
This chorus sounds like they wrote around the idea of calling a song Disconnected.

​
 
CasuallyCrazed

CasuallyCrazed

And we start whittling into I Am Me's main tracklist.

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Beautifully Broken
6.961
(11th out of 15 from I Am Me)

Highest: 10 x 2 (@Music Is Life, @RUNAWAY)
Lowest: 2 (@orbison)​

Music is Life - 10
Love how this builds when it gets to the chorus, and I love the lyrics.

Untouchable Ace - 8.9
It's got that small town, hopeful American girl vibe that every pop-rock girl strives for.

spillet - 8.5
One of those songs where Ashlee's vocal delivery really elevates the song, giving it more heart, grit and sentiment.

Sprockrooster - 8
I wish there was more to this chorus as the first verse is such a captivating start of the song, which is almost equally matched by the second verse. Alongside with the shouty outro (which I also adore) this is a showcase of great production. However it deserved a chorus that was not so average.

pop3blow2 - 8
A very solid rock ballad. Very ‘Ashlee’. She really did sorta have her own little sound there for a bit. I mean, I know it’s very easy to compare to others of the time, but I always knew an Ashlee song when I heard it.

CasuallyCrazed - 7.25
This truly set the standard for future cliche tumblr handles and Pink album titles. Endearing, but the tempo really drags.

DJHazey - 7
Used to listen to this a bit but it's very heavy and 'drippy' sounding, so the excitement doesn't last long.

unnameable - 7
A pleasantly angsty number.

Seventeen Days - 6.5
I can’t drag Ashlee on this one, because I know this was about the crap she went through after the SNL fiasco. That being said, it’s not one of my faves but I enjoy it.

iheartpoptarts - 6
The title seems like such a mid-00s emo cliché. But then, that’s not exactly my area of expertise, so who knows.

niccolo - 4
Yes, we get it. We can skip to track 8 to hear a better version of this story.

imaduck - 4
She will try, but she will fail.

orbison - 2
Bland, filler, boring. Skip.

​
 
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DJHazey

DJHazey

he/him
I always tend to score songs I used to have a lot more love for higher than songs I never did, but this is a case where maybe I should've marked it with a 4 or 5 since I really don't do anything with it today and it beat much better songs and irrationally I think I have some of the blame.
 
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