The Ashley Tisdale Rate. | Page 26 | The Popjustice Forum

The Ashley Tisdale Rate.

Discussion in 'Charts, rates etc' started by Atletico, Jun 27, 2016.




    Unlove You

    Average: 3.92
    Highest: 10 x 2 (@Plethorya, @Sprockrooster)
    Lowest: 0 x 3 (@lalaclairi_, @Penguin, @LA Hallucinations)

    Most of us can agree that this is a downright ghastly piece of music that should've been kept away in a basement. Forever. Haunting (and not for a good reason) vocals in a whiny chorus that's bound to be one of the worst in recording history. If there was a musical equivalent to the Golden Raspberry, this song would probably sweep. The panel's response was fitting: for the most part of the voting period, Unlove You stood firmly in the last place of the leaderboard, only to receive a couple of 10s (??????) and switch places repeatedly with Humuhumuetc and Someday The Good Songs Will Come. My own score was a 3 because this could be worse, and the verses are moderately salvageable. Here's the funny thing though: it's not hers (originally)!

    Can I remind you lot of a Katy Perry hit that galloped its way to the top of the charts in 2014? One of the artists responsible for its conception was a relatively obscure songwriter called Sarah Hudson. You don't know her either, but her career could be likened to that of another Katy collaborator: Bonnie McKee! Both released their debut albums in 2004 to minuscule success and then retreated to songwriting. Guess what was one of the songs in Sarah's first LP Naked Truth? Unlove You! And, well, it's no less horrid than the cover, so it makes it all the more worrying that Ashley's camp chose this one.

    We'll start with some unprecedented shade by resident good girl iheartpoptarts: "Cute song. Too bad she can’t sing it." Ouch. Leave some strings of hair in her scalp at least. Shockbox advises Ashley not to "try to be a big ballad singer" and dubs Unlove You as a "1997 Disney movie credits cast off". Well, don't compliment it! constantino agrees: "This is VERY Disney…but then again this is ‘the Ashley Tisdale rate’, so I came to expect this. The more stripped arrangement exposed how jarring and limited her vocals are…she doesn’t have the range. The choir that came in during the second chorus DESTROYED ME…I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_." It really is priceless.

    Another person vilifying her vocals is WhenTheSunGoesDown, who summarises the track as "dreadful" and asks: "In what world is this her voice?" headztrong doesn't know either, but he's more perplexed at how "it managed to get into the album." I think teen pop albums need that annoying ballad. It's practically a rule. Totto admits "her voice sounds annoying", but acknowledges some sort of "oomph" to the song. What oomph? Perhaps that's the sound she made trying to breathe after singing the chorus. Despite finding the track a "mess" and "an absolute shambles", tylerc904 admits "Ash can actually sing pretty well (for a Disney girl)." Oops. Get that half-hearted compliment though Queen Tiz. DJHazey is not here for her ballads: "Man does she sound shrill in the chorus. It's so bad there should be a crime for having verses that put you to sleep followed by this kind of audio onslaught." sexercise says NØ to the "weirdly theatrical element" and leaves: "She is also screaming at me so bye!"

    Comparisons were established between this and High School Musical by GhettoPrincess, and I'm awaiting for the court to notify them. Do NOT drag the iconic series like that! "The verses are fine in that respect but the chorus is tuneless and odd. The vocals are jarring. Surprised it even made the cut. I think the thought behind was it was good but the finished product is not pleasant." lalaclairi_ 0, did not expect the song to be as abhorrent as it is. "I started off thinking this isn't that bad... and then the chorus started. This sounds like something the main character of a teen movie would sing at a talent show, everything about this is terrible, etc."

    Plethorya... well: "I love twinkly, sappy ballads. The cheesier the better - and this is very cheesy." You do you, sis. "A typical ballad, but well executed," approves Sprockrooster. Joining the praise crew is mat.overboard , who reveals himself as "a sucker for ballads so it doesn't matter if they're by Ashley Tisdale, Paolo Nutini or even Bob the Builder. This is pleases me very much and fits really well for such a weak voice as Tisdale's." Even in the chorus? Sally_Harper claims she adored Unlove You during her "young and stupid" days", and expounds: "I’ve never really liked Ashley’s vocals here as she spends most of the last third shouting, but I think the instrumental is lovely and some of the lyrics have nice imagery." Praise Sarah Hudson a bit.

    LA Hallucinations is here to tell these girls right and serves up the concentrated tea: "It’s absolutely horrendous; the mixing, the strained vocals, the lyrics, the clichés. Oh, Ashley." Ditto.

  2. I still don't understand how her label put it on the album without making her re-record the vocals at the very least. I would love to know what Ashley thinks of it as I would be embarrassed if I heard those vocals back.
    WhenTheSunGoesDown and DJHazey like this.
  3. You mean 'Dark Horse' was her fault, too?!
    WhenTheSunGoesDown and Atletico like this.
  4. Y'all better like the write-ups, let me climb up to that leaderboard I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_

    @DJHazey sorry I forgot to include that quote! I don't even remember reading it, so it wasn't intentional at all.
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2016
    WhenTheSunGoesDown and DJHazey like this.
  5. I have an alert ''Push quoted you in this post''. But i can't see anything. Did you quote me?
  6. My comment for Unlove You should have expanded more on what I meant. I guess I was in the mindset that it was implied she sounds horrible on it, so I meant to say something along the lines of "Ashley can actually sing quite well for a Disney girl, though you'd never know it based on this trainwreck".
    Atletico likes this.
  7. I misread your post and made a remark on who was the Heidi Range of the group, only to read again and find out all the "members" had been swapped. I_CANNOT_USE_REAL_WORDS_PROPERLY_.
    Dangerous Maknae likes this.
  8. SCREAM, there's too much to quote, but all of these had me laughing quietly to myself (because I'm at work):

    #1) -- This 'Poot' tea.

    #2) -- It's a crime that the 0-crew didn't rubber stamp this with one. It really should've been last place. Of course, I gave it a 1 myself. @Sprockrooster, what even?

  9. @GhettoPrincess is definitely Keisha.

    Dark Horse was a gift, not a mistake.
  10. I was touched deeply.
    DJHazey likes this.
  11. Don't tell me you listen to Hilary's "Cry" and proceed to cry tears of anything but pain.
    Sprockrooster likes this.
  12. I quite like that one too... Not better, but still.
    DJHazey likes this.
  13. I didn't hate Unlove You (am surprised it's gone already actually), but yes the vocals are terrible.
  14. Unlove You isn't great but I wasn't expecting that. Mess.
  15. I laughed out loud. Vicious!
    Atletico and DJHazey like this.
  16. I kind of feel sorry for Ashley. My comments so far have been savage. I swear, I do like her!

    I'm definitely the Siobhan. Escaping out of toilet windows in foreign countries is totally my thing.
    Atletico and DJHazey like this.
  17. sexercise and Shockbox like this.
  18. The savage part with the awful songs is always kind of my favourite in every rate.
    Shockbox and Atletico like this.
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